71 Years Ago Today

My daddy was born... ... and since last year we could not celebrate properly his 70th birthday because of some unfortunate and life-shattering events*[go to the end of the post for the story and an update] that happened two weeks before (and only a week before K lost his job), I want to write a post full of old photographs to celebrate him, his life, and his family.

Our family is really really lucky to have several really old photos, particularly of my dad's family (I've shown you some of my mom's last week). Here is my dad as a newborn, first a close up with his mom, who was just so young -- she looks like a teenage girl! (I have to check with my dad how old she was, probably 19 or 20) and the full photo, with a friend of the family to the right, holding dad's wobbly newborn head, and his grandma to the left:
My grandma breastfed my dad until he was four, just like Kelvin, dad's first grandson! (we sometimes joke that my dad is so calm because of all these years nursing)

Here is the whole family at the time, with four of their eight children, the first three boys and the newborn first daughter. My dad was their second live child and he's the cute one right in between his mom and dad (apparently he's always been the favorite son): Their first child had actually been a daughter too, but she died in infancy. My grandma was only 15 or 16 and she told me last year she didn't know how to breastfeed and what to do. She laments to this day that she was still a child and that the death of her first child could have been avoided. She told me that one of her breasts got so engorged that it had an abscess that had to be cut open and drained. Then she had to breastfeed all her children with only ONE breast! (I've inserted a close up of my dad to the right)

And here is a lovely photo of the three older boys in the family and their cousin Marilu, my dad is in the center:
Weren't these German/Polish Brazilian kids cute?

Another close up of my dad:



The family again, now with six children (the oldest boy was away in boarding school). Dad is the lanky boy in Grandpa Adolfo's side, wearing a short suit:Today they're celebrating dad's birthday in Curitiba (where most of our extended family lives) with my aunt, the one with the bow in the photo above. They had lunch out with her and her husband at a nice restaurant and right now they're probably at my cousin's house, meeting the new baby, daddy's "grand-niece." I wish I could be there too! Good think my brother (who lives in New Zealand now), is in Brazil on a business trip and will get to see my parents this weekend!

Well, Happy Birthday Daddy!! I will call you later today so I can sing Happy Birthday and talk to you on the phone. I love you!
* What happened was that my dad, driving pretty fast at night in a darkened road, hit a man who was walking pulling a bike in the middle of the road and the 59 year old man (who was drunk when struck) died two days later. My dad, who is one of the kindest and most compassionate people I know was utterly devastated. My parents have been since helping the man's widow, who is miserably poor and has a six year old son (Kelvin's age), a teenage daughter, and an older son, by paying her rent as well as bringing her food and other necessities. A couple of weeks ago my dad used up most of his savings to buy a small house for her -- he had been anxious all year long about this. The civil process is still going on, but the house will most probably legally become the settlement for the accident and the death. Since these legal procedures take so long and the family is not pressing criminal charges against my dad, he wanted purchase a house as soon as possible and I'm sure he is relieved that she has a place to call her own now. The hardest part will be helping her to keep a job (she currently works at the town hall, probably as a cleaning lady or something, but apparently the town will be laying off a lot of people). I think that for the rest of his life my dad will be helping this poor woman and her family, although after the settlement he won't be required by law to do it (and, of course, neither is he required now, but he just can't help it but do it).

Edited to add:
First, thanks for the comment, Dawn! As for your question regarding how my dad is doing emotionally, I think he is doing fine although I am sure he has his ups and downs and is certainly haunted by this horrible experience. He was very fragile when I visited them briefly last year less than two weeks after the accident and my mom was very worried about him. During the four months that they were here earlier this year he was his old self again and this past June I got to go to the widow's house with him once and see how nervous he gets. At his lawyer's advice he wouldn't go talk to her, so I dropped off the food and got to see, for a brief moment, how terribly poor they are. Too bad I was so nervous and didn't stay and really talk to her, these situations of being keenly aware of one's privilege are so uncomfortable, aren' they?

I guess that now with the house, things have changed and dad is probably more directly in touch with the widow. My mom frequently tells me how he is going to town to do something for her. I'm sure that this makes him feel better and more emotionally whole. He is not one to talk about his feelings much, he is the type of person who blocks painful memories and he simply doesn't remember certain negative experiences from the past (my mom is the opposite, and I guess I fall in between), so we've never really talked much about it. My mom can usually tell when he has pent up feelings that are just overwhelming to him, but which he still won't share or admit. I was afraid when the accident happened that he wouldn't be able to be happy and enjoy life again, but thankfully that is not the case. It's a cliche, but it's true that time does heal most wounds, I guess.