The First Case

 Well, well...

Today I got an email from a health department case investigator saying that one of my students who had attended class in person had tested positive for the virus. 

It didn't come as a surprise because one of my students had already told me they weren't coming to class anymore and had been tested because their roommate had been in touch with someone who had it. Another student went into quarantine voluntarily with their roommate when a cluster in their dorm was detected (they did it before they were told to do so).

I called the case investigator and this person told me (after asking lots of questions about the classroom) that it probably would be OK to continuing meeting -- since students are six feet apart and wearing masks, -- but I decided to not teach in person this week and reconsider next week. 

Sigh...

I don't want to feel guilty because I actually taught in person, but it's hard not to. I did what I thought was best for them and for me and I don't regret having tried it. There are some challenges with having students in the room and in Zoom at the same time that are quite unique, but OTOH it's nice to hear students talking, being able to answer their questions, etc. 

I will begin using this breakout room recommendation with all my classes, instead of only the advanced one.

In any case, I do have good reason to teach from home this week, so yeah... that's that. I really wanted to have given it a try, and I did, and now I feel kind of disappointed and despondent at having to go online for safety's sake.

New Year, (Temporarily) Divided Family

So much to catch up on, so little motivation to blog. Anyone still out there? (apart from Jenny in New England, hi Jenny!)

This will be a "different" Spring semester. The temporary above is not really temporary according to my husband because our oldest, who turns 18 this March -- HE WAS TWO WHEN I STARTED THIS BLOG! Has it really been 16 years? -- is going to college in August. Yeah... and I do say that completely matter-of-factly (auto-correct says it's matter-of-factually -- NO, no way!!) ;-P

The other day someone wrote a hilarious comment in one of Dooce's tweets, they said something like "I'm from the 2000s when people still blogged" or I'm " 2000s style blogs person." Me too, I had to respond, me too!

In case, temporary separations aside, the fact is that our youngest son (15.5) is in Brazil until late May, my husband is in Denmark (enjoying the second part of his sabbatical doing research abroad), while our oldest son, the cats, and I, stay home.

Yeah... I have lots more to say about all this, but it can't be now. I need to go to bed to teach tomorrow. The brutal mega-commute of 160 miles round-trip hasn't gotten any better.

Things I Did NOT Do This Semester

I've been writing this post in my head for weeks now. I already wrote that this semester was hard, but now I'd just like to register some concrete markers of how it was hard. Some of these things are kind of silly, but they still demonstrate how challenging it was.

This semester I did not...

... go to yoga or any exercise class. Not even once. :-( And I didn't exercise on my own at all either, although I intended to.

... get an ID that gives me access to my husband's university's (U#1) exercise facilities -- including free exercise classes. I didn't do that even though we found out pretty early on in the semester that I was eligible for one -- something we both wish we'd known for the past THREE YEARS since I quit working at U#1.  Better late than never, though, right?

... wax my legs even after the weather got warm (this means I had to wear either maxi skirts, leggings or fancy patterned pantyhose after it was too warm for pants and sweaters -- it really severely limited my wardrobe options).   (I only did it last Sunday when K and I went with our younger son to U#1's pool and exercise facilities).

... apply nail polish to my fingernails at all! I really, really wanted to, because it's fun and makes me happy, but I was always stressed out or in a hurry in the mornings before going to work (my preferred time to do it). I did do my toenails quickly on the Saturday previous to the last day of classes. That means I also avoided wearing open toe sandals in warm days as well.

The I taught my last class, though, I treated myself to an IMAX movie (Endgame!), first film I ever saw by myself in the theater. I even ordered popcorn (it's crazy to pay the price of an entree for popcorn!). And I posted to Instagram & Facebook that I did it! ;-P

If I remember any other things that I did not do, I'll edit the post. Of course I did countless other things, many of which were quite intense (such as driving for over six hours to take my students to and from shows, twice), cooking for my students and hosting guest speakers (three times each), organizing and hosting a music concert (once!). And some of which were fun (taking students to eat out! Enjoying the music concert immensely!). It was quite crazy and stressful, but also fun. I hope my "haven't done" list is shorter next semester!

A New Kind of (Awareness of) "In-Between-ness"

Five days ago, Laura (at 11D) wrote a post with a great title, "White Collar Blues," that compared adjuncts to freelance writers and lots of people joined in the discussion about these "white collar jobs" that lead to a life of poverty.

I wrote a long comment last Friday, but WordPress "ate" it, so I wrote a shorter one yesterday. What I wanted to add to the discussion was that my current job is a third, in-between position between tenure-track faculty and mere adjuncts (the "desperate adjuncts" about whom Laura said there's a story in the news every week). My position is pretty much permanent, but it doesn't have most "perks" of a tenure-track position.

I agree that it's not a really "bad" situation to be in, but it's still demoralizing, especially for those of us whose primary work is to teach, I imagine that for researchers it's may not feel that bad. They have a permanent research job, still have funding (I guess grant money) to go to conferences, they publish, present, etc. They just don't have to teach and don't have to go up for tenure. We, on the other hand, in spite of our training, are only expected to teach, and do a little bit of service (10% in my case). I personally feel demoralized because I was trained to do research and I would really love to do it, but I have no support whatsoever -- and, of course, with ADHD, I can't muster all it takes to get it done on my own, without being required/expected to do it. (in addition to the lack of support).

Then I looked at my blog's mast description and, to my horror, what 15 years ago when I started blogging was the "in-betweeness" of being an immigrant and of having an academic and a home life, has now transformed itself into my work situation!! I'm stuck in this "in-between" space for life! (unless I quit, which is very unlikely)

I often feel despondent about this, almost daily, but I'm STUCK!! I need to help support my family and if I can have a stable, if partially unfulfilling, job that pays a reasonable amount (more than 50k), that helps. You may or may not remember, but this is the very first full time I've had in my life, and I got it when I was 41. Sigh...

Look at the (very unfiltered) note I wrote on my phone one of these days (1/18/19):

There is hardly a day in which I don't leave work at [the university] despondent. I love my colleagues, but they teach a different language. They also have meetings and other activities which I don't have, so I feel that I don't belong, and feel horribly isolated most of the time. The person who is supposed to be my colleague [the tenure track in charge of the program -- just awarded tenure, BTW] never meets with me, only if s/he absolutely has to. My mega-commute is almost unbearable and makes for grumpy mornings and evenings. I don't feel valued and well regarded by the super-hierarchical department that treats tenured and tenure track faculty as the only deserving members.

Sigh... I feel stuck for life in this in-between space! There is no way out!

And... just like that, it feels easy to blog again. This is what most of the writing in this space has been for the past 15 years, the fruit of despair or stress or a profound need to work through stuff... it's very therapeutic, really! And, in spite of the utter lack of readers, even if just for myself (because it helps me process things), I will probably blog more often for a while.

I guess I've reached "the end of my rope" right now and my last resort is blogging. I hope it helps somehow!

A Hard Semester (Yet Incredibly Exciting)

I began this post before April was over (I wanted to write at least once in April), :-( but of course I didn't write anything but the title.

I am still grading, and we REALLY needed to use this coming week to put new floors on our downstairs that suffered flooding from a burst water-softener, but I don't know how that's going to go.

I think it's partly hormonal, but I've never finished a semester with so little energy. I sleep and I don't wake up refreshed, I'm just tired.

I had three preps this semester, two of which were brand new classes. It was exciting, but exhausting. I wish I had the energy to write more about this. One of the classes was about music and that was really cool! It's a class I had wanted to teach for over 10 years, actually, make it 20. I hope I'll get to do it again.

Enrollment in my classes is down, though, and that makes me upset and depressed. It's hard to carry the whole program pretty much in my back -- only students who actually like me keep going, since I'm the only person to teach this subject. Sigh...

And I'm tired of doing it over and over and over again. Of course students can tell that. And it reflects on enrollment. I need a minimum of 8 students on the upper level class next semester and I have only 3 so far. :-(

OK, I have to go back to grading. I'm sorry this is such a depressing post. Not that anyone is reading, but still, I wish I could be more upbeat. It feels very unlike me to be like this. Hoping that soon I'll feel better.

P.S. three weeks ago I went and lost my pretty Katie Daisy Planner which I used as a diary. I suspect it may be inside the house somewhere because I have a vague memory of taking it from the living room to my bedroom when we had guests coming over, but I can't find it anywhere. So sad!

"Wasted" Seeds?

OK, since I broke the "blogger's block," and wrote about "sowing seeds" let me write some more on a related topic.

So today I received an email related to a "seed" that actually was thrown my way, but maybe I'm just wasting it. I was supposed to write (to have written by now) a paper for a book, a "handbook" in the subject area of my dissertation. It was an "invited" publication and I was excited about it, BUT... there were many stumbling blocks:

• I my email communications with the editors suffered numerous delays (I didn't hear back from them, then I dind't write back);
• I never received a contract from them as they said they would send, and 
• I had the hardest time retrieving my dissertation data from an old and inaccessible computer (only late July my husband broke through) -- I couldn't write the paper without that data;
• an academic friend who is tenured and trying to mentor me mentioned that "Handbook" papers aren't worth very much in the grand scheme of things, which took the rest of my already embattled/non-existent enthusiasm for the project.

And today I get this email. Strange timing. I actually got an earlier email on August 3 and I was surprised by it. These are the "last call" emails I had received from other people before.

But I actually don't know if it would be worth it trying to write this thing. It wouldn't be extremely hard, but it wouldn't be easy either. Sigh...

What do I do? I think I will reply to the email saying I need more time, but also that, I don't know... I never got any kind of contract, so is it really going to be published? Sigh... and I also feel kind of ashamed that I didn't follow up to several of the emails. I do have the excuse of not having the data, which is true, but still.

I feel such a failure! Sigh... I have this feeling I bring these things upon myself. Partly because of my poorly handled ADHD, partly because of...? well, I'll blame on the ADHD. It makes me feel slightly better. And it's not totally a lie.

Sowing Some Seeds...

... I cannot write that without thinking of the song "A Bit of Earth" from the Broadway musical version of one of my favorite books, Secret Garden, it's not my favorite song (see below), but it's about sowing seeds:

My favorite is "The Girl I Mean to Be":


In any case, this is not about gardening, but about submitting a paper abstract for a conference that will be nearby. I continue not to have any funding for conferences that aren't related to teaching, but a friend who went to graduate school with me has offered to let me stay in her hotel room!

This is the first paper I submit in a few years (nearly three!), and it has been very intellectually stimulating to do so.

I guess that this post also means that I'm "sowing some seeds" in the blog as well, right? I still plan blog posts in my head (old habits die hard, I started blogging nearly 14 years ago!!). I have so much to say, but I will publish this and hope that I'll come back here soon.

Employed until 2022 & I VOTED!!!!!

I signed my new contract this weekend.

With the new 3 year contract we are reviewed half-way through (in the beginning of this semester) and then the contract is renewed for 3 more years, so I have work guaranteed until May 2022 unless the program is closed or enrollment is too low or something bad like that.

Right now enrollment for the Fall is the lowest it's been in the past 6 years, but it's just because I have to wait to let the seniors in the class. I should have two full sections. Sigh...

My title was also changed, and I now have a "fake" real academic title, but it ends with two words that tell the tale that I'm not in the tenure track.

I will have an intense week of work next week designing a new course and redesigning another one. What makes it bad is the nearly 3h commute (round trip). I know I'll live and it will be fun, but there'll be lots of driving.

In typical out of sync fashion my husband is doing his course design thing this week at U#1 and I do mine next week. I think it's good for our 14 year old son, since it would be awful for him if both of us were doing it this week. The 16 year old is working in Florida helping to run a day-camp. He'll be back next week and he'll be traveling with my mother-in-law and a tour group for two weeks, lucky him!

Last, but not least, I voted yesterday! I was so happy and so excited! Much more excited than on the day I got the citizenship. I have a voice now!! And I finally feel like a citizen. I think it will really sink in when our passports arrive (we applied last week) and I go out of the country as an American. :-O

The TEN YEAR Anniversary of my PhD Dissertation Defense!!!

Ten years ago today I defended my dissertation. It was Wonderful! ;-)

Later, in the following weeks, it would get quite stressful, but the day, the moment itself, was great.

I can hardly believe I still have this blog. It's useless, though, since the many friends I made through blogging have all "disbanded" from blogland (with a few rare exceptions).

I actually went through every single one of my 1,028 Facebook friends to cull the 30+ people I met through my blog so I could write a FB post about this anniversary and share the blog post from that day there.

Sigh...

I have been thinking about this anniversary quite a bit lately. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will never have a "real" academic career and that this is OK!!! There is a project I'm just beginning to work on that is, in my mind, the only actual way I can celebrate this 10 year anniversary in a worthwhile way. I don't know if this project/dream will actually come true, but I hope it does.

I will share more about it in time. If it does work out, it will enable me to pursue some of the academic interests that matter most to me and it will most certainly bring me satisfaction and also peace. I want to stop feeling troubled, angsty, and upset about academia. I want to have a more positive perspective.

There is a post I wrote around the time of the dissertation defense (and which I'll come back to edit to add the link) that is pretty "prescient" -- it demonstrates that I probably really am not "tenure track"  material because I enjoy life more than I enjoy spending ALL my time researching and writing.

I think I'll be ok. Sigh... And let me post this before midnight!

I really don't know...

... why I'm not blogging more or, I mean, much, or at all.

There's no good reason, perhaps the main one is that I have the (probably correct) impression nobody reads anymore, it's no longer a community. And I HATE that I spend so much time on stupid Facebook because I want to continue to have some relationship with people I met through blogging.

Sigh... such a lame reason to waste time on social media!

Everything is going ok. My title at work has changed. It's supposed to make us feel less bad, or to make us almost believe that we actually have some professional dignity. It's the same title of TT faculty, with "General Faculty" attached at the end.

It's a cosmetic change. No pay raise, no other benefits. More work because some service will be required -- they need more people to populate committees that will "promote" other faculty to the same "fake" rank.

I am sorry if I am horribly bitter about all this. I've hardly had the courage to blog about it... it is what it is. I will, after my review next year, have some actual stability, and that's good, but I want to be able to take a semester leave without losing my job so my husband can take a sabbatical and we can go live in Europe for about 6 months. Maybe it will be possible -- but by then the kids will be older and probably won't come with us. :-(

I am not very happy about my teaching, as usual... but everything is going ok.

I have a trip coming up, but I hope to blog about that in a separate post.

My mom turns 77 in 4 days and my dad will be 80 in two weeks -- that's the reason of my trip, BTW.

OK, more later!

P.S. (ETA 10/24, 10:50 am) What makes me more depressed is that for our "promotion" only research about pedagogy counts. We have ZERO intellectual freedom. I mean, we can do some research, publish, present (no funds to go to conferences, BTW, only with grants that only let us apply for pedagogical stuff again), but it won't count. And this "lower," second-class pseudo tenure is becoming the norm. I know I should be thankful that 1) I have a full-time job; 2) I have a multi-year contract and hence higher pay; 3) I will actually have stability.

Sigh... why can't we do research too if we were trained for it and are passionate about it. Are we really such a threat to the tenure system? Is it our fault that there aren't enough jobs to go around and too many of us?

As I'm getting older and more bitter I begin to regret having gotten a PhD. WHAT FOR???? Academia is the worst, it really is. 

And I guess it makes perfect sense I haven't been blogging. I don't want to be whiny and annoying, so why even write here? :-(

Exhilarating Day in Parenting and Teaching

Wow... what a long day it has been!

The first day your child drives you somewhere, not just through a small town, but, after successfully driving on a minor highway for a bit, takes you back home on the interstate for about 15 miles is quite exhilarating! He'd driven around quite a bit on country roads and parking lots and while other parents may not have dared to do such a thing, I'm glad I did. He did a wonderful job!

Within the first few minutes down the highway he asked me whether to set up cruise control one would just press the button and when said yes, he did, and fiddled a bit with the + and - buttons. Then I mentioned that he could step on the brakes to turn off cruise control to which he replied, "I know mom, I read the car manual!" and (I paraphrase here) "I know all the theory, now I'm getting the practice." Impossible not to ADORE this kid of mine!

And as he drove, and I used my phone and just relaxed, occasionally pointing out something he could improve on or sharing things I do or that happen when I drive, I remembered the day, many years in the past, ok, maybe only about 8 years ago, when we were talking about something Kelvin enjoyed to do and he turned to me and said "Mom, you know how I feel about machines!" That's my boy who will build computers and new "information age" paraphernalia someday. His love for machines does shine through in intense desire to drive a car.

Then, he again drove me to my husband's university where I dropped him off (dad wasn't lucky to be driven by him because out other car is a stick shift!) ;-P and drove on to U#2 where we were opening a film festival today! The first film was Brazilian and I introduced it. Many of my students came and it was a great success! Now I need to go to bed, even though I'm quite awake after drinking some guarana (very caffeinated Brazilian soda).

Oh, yeah, and before my son got his permit, he had a dentist's appointment and I was seen too, because I had a crown put in last week and it was bothering me.

(this is the most boring way ever to end a post, but here you go!)

Alive, busy, happy

I'm alive, very busy (not excessively so, thankfully! Leisure time guaranteed), and happy.

I was angsty before the semester started, for several reasons, but now I feel quite at peace, which is great. We're much more organized this year, my husband is helping with making a meal plan for the week and we're spending less and eating better!

OK, I'm about to drive 80 miles in pouring rain, so hopefully I'll continue to be fine. I always think about my probability of being in an accident, but there's nothing I can do. It's how I operate, it doesn't make me less happy. ;-)

I added so many labels to this tiny post, it's quite funny! I hope to blog again soon.

Better

I'm feeling way better, and I'm happy to report that I have 26 students now instead of only 18. I still have quite a way to go to reach 54 and maybe I won't reach full capacity in all three sections, but I'm hoping! In the past six years I've had two full sections, bursting at the seams (sometimes I squeezed 19-21 even though the official limit is 18), with many students unable to get in.

Well, I want to try to write some "update" posts about the past four weeks, I hope to be able to do it soon. I'm also working on a post about all the movies I watched this summer (all but one at home), so I'll be back!

Freaking out

I was trying my best not to be negative, to be patient, and not to freak out, but now I'm in full blown freak out mode. :-(

Sigh...

Every semester for the past six years my two language classes have been PACKED in the Fall and there have been waiting lists of students trying to register. They enroll by permission only (except for one summer two years ago) so I can screen prospective students and give priority to freshmen to sophomore since seniors won't be able to take more classes after their last year and we need students to take several classes or our tiny program will die. Because of this, I spend all summer checking the student registration website periodically, granting permission and keeping track of  enrollment requests.

In order to document the interest in the class I have been copying and pasting every single permission request -- a tedious task -- and then marking the students who enroll, as well as those who enroll and later drop and those who never enroll. I also email the seniors and ask them to wait for late July when I can begin to let them register.

In past years, by late July the classes were nearly full already and I generally could only let a handful of seniors enroll, if any. Because there was a consistent number of students who could not enroll every Fall, my colleague decided to open a THIRD section this Fall.

Well... guess what?

I have never had so few permission requests come in since I started keeping track!! :-( I should probably have granted permission for the seniors earlier (there were quite a few of them), and by the time I finally did two weeks ago, very few enrolled. Their requests have since expired (and disappeared) and I will have to look for each of their emails and contact them because I am DESPERATE.

And the worst of the worst is that in the three sections of the class, right now, the number of students enrolled is enough to fill ONE SINGLE SECTION! [insert despair and dismay face here]

Please pray for me if you're the praying kind. I have been praying about this not only every time I login to the website and open the word document where I keep track, but also every time I think about the Fall classes (which is quite often).

All through July I have been telling myself to "calm down because everything will work out in the end," but now I'm not so sure. I am dreading the moment my colleague decides to check on enrollment and emails me. Please please please let more people enroll before s/he checks!!!!

FINALLY DONE!

I am so relieved that I am done. I regret (as always) that I procrastinated grading their online homework so much and left it for the very last minute. I MUST do better next semester, seriously, and not only because it's going to be insane because I'll have a minimum of 54 -- FIFTY FOUR! -- beginner level students.

I think I'll start a new thing, a strategy that may be helpful to us -- I'll separate students by Spanish native speakers versus non-native Spanish speakers and try to prepare materials and assessment tools for each group.

I need to prepare some material over the summer, though... which is always highly unlikely.

Did I mention to you that I'm teaching private lessons for two weeks late in July? That will be intense and tiresome, but maybe I can use some of that time to prepare materials? ;-)

I'm also going to participate in an ACTFL workshop that I hope will help me be a better language teacher.

I loved loved loved teaching literature and it was WONDERFUL to feel very confident and quite on top of my game teaching what I'm really prepared for. Only the Lord knows when I'll get to do it again, but I don't have a lot of hard feelings about that at the moment, I'm at peace, at least for the time being. Sigh...

OK, I still can't believe I'm done. With 22h to spare before the deadline -- which is NOT good in any way, but better than on the very due date, right? RIGHT?! ;-)

And let the summer begin! Hopefully I'll be doing some gardening and cleaning up and -- MAYBE -- some things around the house??

A rare day

Edited on 4/4/17 3:17 am
 
Today is a rare day, [because] I get to teach about my dissertation subject. One of the three authors [I wrote about]. Who knows when I'm going to do that again?

That's why it's bittersweet. Nice, and at the same time heartbreaking.

Today I thought I want to write a book about this author, and I don't care whether I'm not supposed to, but I will try.

I don't want to be silenced by a system that prevents me from being a true scholar. {later rephrasing of same sentence}: I want to do it [write a book] to defy a system that prevents me from being a true scholar and sees me as less. I want to make mine the slogan nevertheless, against all odds, she persisted.


Note: I spoke this to my phone, sentence by sentence (that's why the first line of the fourth paragraph was accidentally the first line when I "published" this) on the first 10 minutes of my drive to work (before I got on the highway. I never do this on the highway).

Then I cried for about five minutes and I was really depressed for a few days afterwards. O 3/6, I started writing a post titled "Blame it on the STUPID USELESS PAIN INFLICTING PhD (again, and again, and again)" which began "I hate hate hate my life right now." And right then I did, for a few anguished moments. I even had a sad [to me] conversation with my husband about all this, and then, after a few days, the negative, dark feelings dissipated... for now at least. It's hard, but only unbearably painful for a few fleeting moments. I have lots of other things in my life. More later.

The Best Class Ever or...

... sheer torture? Because it could be "the last" for a long, long while... who knows how long. :-(

I'm teaching a lit class because "the person above me"* is on leave this semester. But that person just emailed me last Friday to take away the only 3000 level class I teach so we can offer three beginner level classes next semester and try to grow the program. It's good to grow the program, but... sigh... it feels like my losing ground here.

* the no-longer-that-new hire, who is younger than me, has less experience, and is not from my country (a white dude from California, a most typical American academic).

There is a flicker of hope after all the angst of last year (which I was never able to blog about in a straightforward manner for various reasons). [WHOA, there are 126 posts with the "Working in the Margins" label? Wow, I write a lot about this depressing subject, don't I? Only "Academic Life," "Job search" {mostly my  husband's various ones}, and "Family Travels" {yay! winner!} have more posts!] Maybe, just maybe, some of us lecturers will be granted non-tenure track academic ranking/titles. I'm not counting on it and, if my "demotion" to basic level classes is any indication, things aren't really going well for me in this department.

I will try to be hopeful, though, as best as I can. And in the mean time, enjoy every minute of my amazing class. Six bright and motivated girls, readings and films I feel very comfortable teaching. I think it'll be awesome. YAY!

The Third "Last Day"

This semester I have five "last days" -- last Thursday was the first, the last day of classes at U#1. Yesterday, was the second one, last day of classes at U#2.

Today is the (first and) last day of exams for me at U#1 and I have two days of exams at U#2, this Thursday and next week on Thursday.

Yeah, this CRAZY semester of teaching is drawing to an end, as well as the insane four years of teaching at two universities. I am not at all sad about it all ending, except maybe for earning a bit less (2-3K), but I'll be doing LESS WORK and being paid nearly the same.

I am cautiously optimistic about trying to slowly go back to my main research project (from my crazy 500 page dissertation). I already have a conference presentation in October and I want MORE!! Sigh... the plan is to integrate the research to my teaching and even apply for an internal grant for it. We'll see how it goes. Sigh...

I can't wait to have some free days, but before I have to face all these last days, all the grading and, next week, an intense conference in which I'll be helping out. Probably in exchange for a few free meals and perhaps good interactions and networking, but maybe there will be some payment (if funding comes through for my friend the organizer).

I'm mentally spent, exhausted really. I think this was the worst semester yet, not in craziness of hours of teaching (that was the Fall of 2013 -- utter insanity), but teaching with a brand new book and, "tele-teaching" FIVE days a week (that hadn't happened before, it was always only Tu/Th). This takes a lot of energy, not to mention the stress and claustrophobic feeling of teaching in a room without windows, in the basement of a building (for 4-5 hours straight on Tu/Th -- teaching and then preparing materials, printing, etc).

Today is my last day in the teleconference room. YAY!! I'm moving on and I won't look back (remember I was counting the days?). Phew!!

Really Hard Decision: Conference & Blogger Meet-Ups

One of the unintended consequences of leaving U#1 is losing my academic conference funding. It was one of the "perks" that I really enjoyed and didn't even take enough advantage of in the past few years when I was working at both universities (given my difficulty with not being able to find substitutes during the regular school year at U#2 & its lack of support).

I don't know what I was thinking when I submitted a paper proposal to one of my favorite conferences (the Kid lit one) without realizing that I wouldn't have funding to go. The deadline to register for the conference is tomorrow, so I have to decide whether I am going or not.

The saddest part is that I had decided to go to this conference no matter what because going there would enable me to meet up two bloggers/former bloggers that I really love (Dawn & Jenna), I was really looking forward to that! :-(

It's a hard decision to make because this trip will mean expenses that I probably shouldn't have. I also wish I could take my parents with me (that was part of the original plan) because they love getting to know new places... or, go with the family to Cedar Point and also visit Pittsburgh (which is on the way), since I've never been there.

Yeah, a hard decision and almost no time to make it. I kept putting it off too... :-(

(I truly hate money, I wish money wasn't such a "problem")

The Busiest Craziest Semester

We are horribly busy this semester. It's all kinds of overwhelming! Sigh...

And soccer season just started (practices, games in a week), I don't know how we'll survive the next six weeks! My dear parents will arrive precisely when classes end for me and K and the craziness subsides -- good for them!!

K is teaching three classes instead of his regular class, so he has extra preps, an extra night class and no free time of any kind. He just had two back to back conferences and we're still recovering. So, what's the best way for recovering than to have ten people come visit for the weekend?

We had 8 come in 2014 and it was a record, but this will blow the previous record. BIL's family is coming from Montreal (can't wait to see my "baby" nephew!) and a childhood friend of mine is coming along, with her husband and three children. To top it off, my BIL who live in Egypt is defending his doctoral thesis today (YAY! Good for him!) in Michigan and will come tomorrow. I know it will be great, but it's not easy to juggle this with having to teach today and tomorrow.

Oh yeah, and our boys have their Spring break next week! :-( I suspect they will spend a lot of time playing Minecraft and -- good thing for my poor teen who has slept SO little in the past month --
hopefully getting lots of sleep. (He wasn't here last weekend -- he went to a robotics competition in TN and before that he spent a lot of time preparing for it with his team).

Well, Spring is here and I should rejoice that it's only six more crazy weeks!! (technically 5+ finals)