Showing posts with label New Job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Job. Show all posts

Friday, December 18, 2015

Offer Signed!!! & Musings about the Future

Finally, this morning, the offer arrived via email. Better late than never, I guess, but I will have to wait until the end of the holidays to talk to folks at U#1 about me quitting my part-time, poorly compensated, work there.

I signed it and already filled out the background check online paperwork that was sent my way.

The best part? This contract says that I am eligible for an expectation of "Continuing Employment" following my second review, to take place in 2021 -- by then my son might be going to school at the same university if he is accepted! My husband is already talking about moving there. Not so soon, though! Until our youngest graduates from high-school at the nearby boarding academy (where both out boys will be "village kids"), we'll live here.

The plan is to buy an apartment within walking distance of campus if Kelvin gets accepted there in 2020. He has been raised "the Brazilian way" and doesn't mind living with us during college. Of course I know he will feel pressure to go where his friends are going, but he is convinced that an in-state education will be more affordable and better quality than going to a private church-affiliated university.

We'll see! It's great to be able to feel that a more professionally stable future is in sight for me! Now we lecturers at U#2 need to keep up the good fight to have more rights, namely, assert our desire to also do research (in spite of not being TT faculty) and ask for support to go to conferences and to develop professionally. "The New Faculty Majority" needs to mobilize and achieve more rights!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

the final push...

... to finish writing and submitting my application is NOW!

I had two colleagues proof-read my letter and give suggestions this afternoon. One or them is a former T-T professor at an Ivy-League school* who participated of several search committees in the past; the other is a recent Ph.D. recipient who is on the job market and who has been teaching in our current dept. for three years. S/he knows about last year's failed search and had invaluable "insider information" suggestions for my letter!  
*and who was denied tenure two years ago in a highly dysfunctional department.

I can't wait to finish and submit! And then... the anxious waiting will begin. :(

I need to prepare myself for not getting this position and continuing as a lecturer. I think I should be OK. Less work, more time with my family. Less money, more peace of mind.

The usual trade-offs one encounters in life... sigh...

The bottom line? I didn't go looking for this job or my current job, for that matter. These jobs "found" me and I'm happy they did.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Speechless! (at my glaring error)

I cannot believe it.

They hired me in spite of the fact that I had a GLARING typo in the first paragraph of my cover letter. "Interest"  instead of  " interested"  (as in "I am interested").

YIKES!!

And yet they hired me.

Guys, I'm considering applying. I think I'm crazy. Actually it would be crazy NOT to apply. I promise to write more about this soon.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

how talking helps

I just had an excellent conversation with my husband over the phone about the "delicate subject" I've been blogging about daily for some days now.

It turns out the things he had to say were excellent and because he really knows me and wants what is best for me (and us), the points he raised should definitely be taken into consideration as I debate what to do next. In fact, I don't know the reason why we were having a hard time talking about it.

According to K the biggest problem of this situation is when I start ranting about how academia is bad, and this and that, and he said that what he doesn't want to see happen is me applying for this and then being upset about it later. 

I cannot discuss some of the main issues that he pointed out because I would be further disclosing details about our two institutions that I don't want to disclose, lest we lose our semi-anonymity  (and, as you know, I maintain that as a request from my husband who doesn't want people to find him out through my blog or colleagues of him finding out that I have a blog).

I'll be happy to discuss more details over email if you're curious. Thank you SOOOO much, B* for your supportive comments, they mean the world to me. I will address some of the issues you brought up below.

Regarding my employment now and this position that is opening, I was hired as a last minute substitute for an ABD adjunct who left (for Harvard!). They value what I am doing and everyone keeps thanking me for being there, etc. The thing is, I wasn't looking for this job, it "found" me (via a friend's email), and when I applied for this late position, I had no idea they had done a search last year (in fact, it was great that I did not know and had not applied). When they hired me they already knew they were going ahead with the search. Maybe they won't mind if I apply, but K thinks it would be awkward -- particularly for me, if not for them.

Why could this be a problem for me? Well... it turns out that I have horribly thin skin. I do not handle feedback and rejection well. Quite the opposite. I cannot read student evaluations, they make me sick to my stomach. I get depressed and all my insecurities come rushing to my conscious life and suddenly I'm in the depths of despair. For several days, weeks even.

I know, I need therapy, lots of it, but I haven't done it yet.

So K had many valid points. And that, coupled with my inability to be productive and concentrate and work -- I need to get diagnosed (or not) with adhd and treated too are only two of the reasons why I always thought that a tenure track job could not be for me. And I think there are more reasons.

What upsets me and always has is that it's very hard/nearly impossible to continue to pursue my passion for research in the humanities if one is not in a tt position. Why?? Because it's useless!! You don't get paid for it and it doesn't count for anything and one's also lacking the external motivation (the fact that you are required to do it helps one be productive).

so, yeah... and K himself gave up a much more demanding tt job (&half a million!) because he thought it wasn't the right thing for our family (place too). In a few years I'm going to have two teenage boys and we are not going to move because we live next to the academy where they're going to go to school, so the commuting would continue indefinitely. Is this really what I would want for me and our family?

And in the end, I think it's a useless discussion because no matter whether I apply or not, I don't think they're hiring me. I BET they will hire one of those again. ;) Yeah... and have I mentioned that applying makes me a pile of nerves and is really bad for me? Do I really want to go through this hassle again when it's basically guaranteed that I will keep my job as it is for the foreseeable future? (even at the two universities at the same time).

Things could change as I try to casually talk to people about this, but... Nah... I don't think this will be happening.

Edited to add: My friend Anjali posted an excellent question in the comment section below. Yes, I will keep my job, they renew it yearly, they always have a "professor" and an underling (lecturer or adjunct). I just won't get to teach any upper level classes (the more "fun" ones) and I'm not expected to do research (part and parcel of a tt job), just teach, do my job well, and carry on...

Curiosity which I will delete tomorrow: my dept. chair here is married to a dept. chair at my husband university (where I still teach one class). fascinating! ;)

Friday, September 14, 2012

76

My dear (and supportive) friend Anjali asked me how long, exactly is my commute, so here is the answer. Seventy-six miles.

A number that reminds me of our old stomping grounds, Anjali. :)  (Philadelphia, for those who are not in the know).

Yes, 76 miles from my door to the parking lot. And from there to my classes it's a 10 minute walk.

I've been planning a post specifically about the driving, so I'll say more about the distance and the commute on that one, OK?

p.s. this is a scheduled post, I don't want to post too much on one night. ;)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Beyond Exhausted and... shouldn't be blogging because forearm/wrist hurt :(

I think that over the summer, when I wasn't using a mouse that often, particularly during the weeks I used my MIL's macbook pro's trackpad (different from the trackpad in a pc laptop) -- I developed some kind of tendinitis or elbow/forearm/wrist condition (something such as lateral epicondylitis, radial tunnel syndrome or some kind of repetitive strain/stress injury [RSI] -- BLAH!).

The worst part is that blow-drying my hair three times a week makes the pain much worse (this happened last night) and I simply do not want to go back to curly right now!! :(

That is the least of my worries, obviously, since I use my wrist and arm CONSTANTLY because I'm on the computer all the time writing handouts and emails, etc.

So... yeah, I shouldn't even be writing this post, but I am...

I was reading some on RSI and I feel frustrated that I was literally FORCED to stop using a desktop (my preferred computer to use at home) after we moved to Virginia -- first, the desktop was in the upstairs bedroom in our small townhome and then... the office in our new house does NOT have a phone outlet where we can plug the DLS so our old laptop can't go online!

OK, this was a huge tangent... I just wanted to write that I'm really exhausted and that the commute is getting to me. I think I'm going to start asking for friends to watch the boys one more day at least twice a month on Mondays so I can stay overnight twice a week every other week... Sigh.

I knew it was going to be hard, but three weeks in I'm already DYING and there are eleven more weeks, ELEVEN!!

The work makes me happy, though. But it is a HUGE amount of grading. Teaching is a crazy job because it involves so much work at home and everywhere outside of the classroom...

I'll stop now because this is a really scattered post, just like my head right now. :(

P.S. also because it is really annoying to feel pain, even if it's really mild pain. It's worrisome.

Monday, September 10, 2012

And... just like that, summer's gone! :(

just like that

Last week it was nearly 100% humid, muggy and hot. Friday the rain was gone and it was a bit drier, but still positively hot.

Now that is all gone and replaced by gorgeous crisp air and blue skies. Sun's still pretty hot, but summer is gone for sure. :(

Of course it is beautiful and it feels so much better, not to mention that now and I can go back to pretending that I have straight hair without the embarrassing effects of humidity on my unruly bob. ;)

My apologies for the lack of updates. Last week I was still fine-tuning and writing syllabi -- I finished writing the last one (for a class I'm teaching for the very first time) at 4 am on Friday morning, just to get up and leave at 8 am and come back home exhausted at 7 pm. And... of course driving back and forth!

And now, ha! Guess what? I'm up to my neck in grading and will be, with ups and downs, until the end of the semester. choppy roller-coaster ride.

I'm still very happy and everything is going well, but all that driving will require that I do my best I quit my favorite addiction: staying up late every night. I really need to get more sleep if I want to remain a caffeine-free person and still drive long distances.... oh well! Something's gotta give! (as you'd say here in America). Good thing that next semester my first class is at 11 am!! YAY!!! More later, hopefully. Is there anything you'd like to know?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Feliz

I just wish, I really do, that I could blog more. Other than that (and of course little things of life that go wrong but which are meaningless in the grand scheme of things like the laundry list of the previous email)... I couldn't be happier.

Seriously. Yesterday and today I haven't been as blissfully, walking on clouds happy as I was on my very first day of teaching (Tuesday). And that day was crazy in that I had tons of technology challenges in class and out. I spent almost 2 hours until I finally figured out how to access my email and was finally able to drive the 70 miles home.

I can't really explain what it felt like after I taught my "teleteaching" class and it went just fine and then I had to do my 10 minute walk to the building where I teach my other classes... It's a beautiful campus. Certain parts of the landscaping/gardening remind me of Longwood Gardens, seriously!

I had been so anxious about the long-distance, technology-mediated class, but it's fine! It really is!

And then I went on to teach my live, flesh & blood students and it was just soooo great!! Everything went wrong with technology in the class, but I still managed to pull out a pretty good first class.

The truth is I enjoy teaching and I think that language teaching fits ADHD-me just fine. Maybe someday I'll be centered enough to teach literature and culture in a way that won't make me feel like I suck 100%, but language? (which is so easy and which basically anyone can teach, no degree needed, only being a native speaker of a language -- something that is seriously frustrating if you think of spending 10 years to get a phd in something I'm extremely passionate about and then teaching what? Language?) Anyway... yeah, I think I'm good at it and I can feel happy and fulfilled doing it.

There are other important elements that make me happy and I'll try to blog about some of them separately. Having "benefits" helps a lot psychologically too. It reassures me that my work is valued, even though I'm not paid that much.

I want to try and write a series of "catching up" posts in the next few days. Then I'll write a post to "wrap it up" at the end.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

And So It Begins...

This is the post that I would have written on Monday, had I had time to blog, but I was frantically trying to prepare my "tele-teaching" class and freaking out about it and everything else. I'm writing it at 3 am, but scheduling it for tomorrow morning. ;)

Guess what? I was a pile of nerves because most everything that could go wrong on Monday during the day went wrong. And there were several things that went wrong on Tuesday as well.

I'm sure that's NOT how things will normally go, though, so I will take this rocky beginning as a sign that things will be just amazingly great once everything is sorted out. (that doesn't sound like me at all -- the realistic pessimist that I am, but I know it's the truth!)

After I decided to wash and blow dry my hair and I finally packed my things (clothes & necessities for overnight staying) the car frustrations started (more on said car in a future post): I couldn't get the trunk to open, I was hot without air conditioning (car doesn't have it) and I was upset at having my hair in the wind all day long.

These were nothing, though because I realized as I got the car keys and started driving away that my office key was in the other car's keychain, with my husband! And I also had mistakenly taken his laptop's power cord and needed to give it back. Of course he was teaching, so I couldn't talk to him.

When I was approaching the university the lady who is substituting me called, completely lost. I changed my plans (to get gas & the computer power cord I'd forgotten at the study abroad meeting) and went to meet her and take her around campus so she could get ready to go with me teach the first class (I got the class started for her, put a DVD & left).

Guess what else happened? The department secretary was sick (maybe pneumonia), so it was very hard to get everything she needed to get started -- an office key, the key to the classrooms where she teaches, etc. After some time we finally got into the office, I got her the books and I printed out the handouts. When trying to edit the syllabus, though, I realized that all the changes her daughter had made to help her were gone in the PC we were using. Sigh...

It was past 3 pm when I got on the road, needing desperately to get to new university to get a parking pass and to try and meet with people in the department. And... there was debris from an earlier accident on the road (glass jars/drinking glasses truck upturned, filling the road with shards of glass) which caused a considerable traffic jam. :(

In conclusion: I was able to get the parking pass, but not to go to the department. I still walked around and timed my walk from one class location to another and then went to my friends' house where they fed me a wonderful meal!

On Tuesday I got to the university early to go to the teleconference room and the class was surprisingly great. Even greater were my in-person classes afterwards! The only problem was that I spent several hours trying to figure out how to enable and access my email account and I finally got it with our dept.'s secretary's help! It was past 4 pm and I finally headed back home (70 miles).

I stopped at Costco & WM again and I couldn't wait to get home when not even 15 miles from home I hit yet ANOTHER huge traffic jam, this time due to road construction. It took me 45 minutes to get home. :(  So spent almost no time with my sons before they went to bed.

And my oldest has asthma right now... K has been managing just fine! Cooking for the boys, etc. So I know in my heart that my days, though packed and intense and full of driving, won't be as crazy as these past two.

At least I hope!!! And so it begins... my crazy adventure in "super commuting" (not really, I know that to be called that it has to be like 300+ miles, at least according to Time magazine ;)