Late last night, when I was coming and going to partially fulfill my monthly (sometimes bimonthly) janitorial duties at our church* I thought that I am done with Pennsylvania. I mean, I'm done with living here and I am so ready to just move on. I like to feel this way because it makes what could possibly be difficult moves and changes in life so much easier to bear! I know it's going to be a pain and way too much work to move, but I'm used to this by now, having moved so many times.
I hope K does get a job in a nice place so we can move and start over again. Yesterday I spent most of the day blowing leaves and raking and I was thinking that I didn't want to do this again next year. "One more Spring," I thought, "it's all I want from this house." Which reminds me I wanted to have planted more bulbs, but the few perennials I added will have to do -- it would be a waste to spend money on bulbs at this point, even though they might possibly be my last tulips, crocuses, hyacinths and daffodils ever (if we return to Brazil or move way down South).
So, yeah, I'm done. I know it won't be easy to sell the house and that we'll have to redo the bathrooms anyhow as well as doing the whole staging thing again (blah! At least for twice in my life I can pretend I have a spotless house), but I'm even looking forward to perhaps renting for a year or two. Yes, I am out of my mind, I never thought I'd feel this way! By the time it's all said and done, however, we won't have enough down payment for a house, IF we end up with anything at all (probably not).
One last thing. Reflecting on this led me to the conclusion that I want to feel that I am done with the United States before we return to Brazil, but I don't feel that way at all right now, so it won't be easy to go back and I hope we don't. I want to give your country one more chance ;-).
P.S. This past Saturday (Oct. 31) marked the two year anniversary of the unraveling of our lives here (the day K lost his big pharma job) and I didn't even remember it! K, on the other hand said that he thought about it all day, but for some reason didn't mention in to me until Monday. The ability to forget and the fact that time does bring healing are surely great things!
* I still need to go finish cleaning before we travel to Canada this afternoon/evening. Things are crazy around here!
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It's good to have that "good-bye" feeling when you can, I think -- when I've felt it, it's made the transitions easier.
But I've also left without that "I'm done" feeling, and it's not easy. So for that reason (among others!), I hope you stay, too.
I think Hyacinths do quite well pretty deep into the south. If you buy a little fridge for the tulips (which have to be dug up anyway), you can probably get away with those, too. But yes, even at the northern edge of zone 8, we miss out on bulbs.
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