Longer in this House than in Any Other

Five years ago next week, in April 2011 we bought and moved to this house and I just realized that we've lived one year longer here than in the three previous houses we owned.

First one in MA
Feb. 2001-July 2004:

about 900 sq. feet

Second one in PA:

(where I started this blog!)

July 2004-Aug 2007:

about 1300 sq. ft.

Third one, also in PA
(our "Old New House" -- there are 25 posts in that label, including this one. The most fun is the before and after pics post)

Aug 2007-June 2010:

over 2500 sq. ft. (too big!)

Fourth & current house, "New 'Country' House" - very few lame posts on this label, I should change that!

We moved on Easter weekend, 2011 (April 21-24):

1700 sq. ft. (ok)

I guess that this constant moving is the reason why we have a minor itch to move to another one now. ;-)

P.S. To be 100% honest I don't like any of these houses (the outside particularly). I simply hate how houses are built on most of this country. I think they are a bit better looking in FL and out West, but still, it's one of those things that as an immigrant I will never get over and won't ever get 100% used to. I like the houses of Brazil. I've been photographing some of them for years and someday I'll post some of those photos to the blog!

Zeroed or, in the path of "financial freedom"

I didn't want to write that last part of the title because for whatever reason I can't stand Suze Orman, though all she says is true and much needed to be "preached." It's just that K keeps on saying that about us and it's true too. Sigh1.

I forgot to tell you, however, that a week ago K sold the Mazda and we're officially the family with the two crappy Hondas who will need to rent a car for every trip until we buy a newer car. Sigh2.

Now that you know the bad part, on to the good part: we have now paid down both of our credit cards (around 10K each) and we're starting again from scratch. Literally "scratching" out over ten years' worth of savings from our lives -- that last house gobbled it all up in its greedy fix-me-up-or-else appetite. Sigh3.

That alone should cure me forever of my own "appetite" for a big house with a large lawn with mature trees and enough bedrooms to accommodate the whole family when they come to visit once every three years and playset and "play house" for the boys. And plenty of room for gardening. Sob.

I'm really sorry that I'm not being my happy normal self, but this whole cat-gone-missing thing and feeling pretty lonely in our new location plus a horrible head cold & allergy to the dust mites in the hundreds of clothes & linen we're putting away which left me with a lovely sinus infection are not helping much.

As usual, I have tons that I want and could be blogging about. Years worth of photos. World cup stuff (Brazil played horribly today, BTW), etc. but I'm doing "blog reading therapy" and reading and commenting on other blogs instead. Hopefully it'll help improve my style a bit, who knows.

And now that there's the possibility of moving again next year, I -- newly moved -- am already thinking of everything in terms of "first and simultaneously last" time. When it comes to moving, Fang (Leslie M-B's husband) describes all the feelings involved much better than I ever could in this post.

So, yeah, that financial freedom thing? K says we're on the right path to it now (we were doing good in the past, but got sidetracked by aforementioned house). We'll save to make a down payment and hopefully buy a cheap(er) house in a couple of years and pay it off ASAP.

Someday I'll have a garden again... and a cat. It was just that six years of gardening and nine years of cat ownership have left me a little spoiled, you know? yeah. That's why I'm not that excited about all this sudden "freedom" we have ('cause not having a pet does feel pretty liberating, only in a very sad way for me).

All right. Time to go to bed. Way past, actually, as usual.

Waterless

We're "waterless" in this house tonight, at least temporarily. Not a pleasant situation to be in when you've just spent 7 non-consecutive hours* of the day in the car traveling plus 4 hours house-hunting and all you want is to take a warm shower to relax. But you have, instead, to empty the contents of the under the sink kitchen cabinet to investigate a mysterious leak and to remove a thoroughly soaked ceiling panel in the basement which, fortunately, didn't drip into the precious photo albums stored directly below.

This is all great, though, compared to what could have been. Earlier today, while we were a couple of states South, the appraisal of this house took place. Can you imagine if the kitchen had been filled with water when the buyer's agent and the appraiser got here? Everything was or seemed dry and it was only later, when the agent came back for the termite inspection (no termites, only carpenter ants -- remind me to post about the inspection results tomorrow, OK?) that she noticed water in the basement ceiling panel. She called our agent, Roberta, but we had already been contacted about the issue by my parents-in-law, who drove down from Montreal today and had entered the house at 1:30 pm and noticed the water on the kitchen floor. K instructed his dad to shut down the water main, so things were under control.

Can you imagine how disastrous it could have been but wasn't? It's still a tremendous hassle. The in-laws had to turn the water back on so they could take showers this evening and we couldn't sleep in Maryland and drive back tomorrow as we'd planned because we needed to take care of this. Sigh.

I think I know what might have caused the (very old) pipe to crack. When K installed the sprayer for the new sink -- a feature I use multiple times everyday to wash dishes, fill the water filter and fill pots for cooking -- he didn't realize that the hose got stuck to one of the pipe valves when it was pulled out. I'd already warned him of the problem and asked him to fix it because every time I used the sprayer, I tugged hard on that pipe. I remember clearly the last time I did it on Saturday night when I filled the water filter. I hope the pipe hadn't been leaking since that night, but apparently it started this morning (or got worse).

K put some type of epoxy adhesive that he found in his toolbox and we'll see if that will temporarily stop the leak and allow us at least to be able to shower, flush toilets and wash some dishes tomorrow morning before we can get a plumber to come over. I hope this small problems gets solved soon.

Aren't our lives just so unpredictably exciting? And I don't even know if I can/will tell you what else is going on right now. We'll see about that later. And now I have to sleep because it's really late or, early...

*2h in the morning, 2h early evening, 3h driving back home at night.

This (S)Old House

Before we move I want to post more photos of the home renovation projects that were done to this house (in addition to these) , but tonight I just want to record the things I will and won't miss in this house, before I forget them. It looks like we might be moving into a brand new home (more on that later), so lots of things will be radically different.

Let's begin with the negative things. I won't miss:

- The really low ceilings, particularly in the bedrooms.

- The hideous ceiling fan in my bedroom (each of the five ceiling fans in the house is different).

- The tiny size of the master bedroom bathroom.

- The small built-in wall oven.

I will greatly miss:

- The gorgeous hardwood floors.

- Windows in all bathrooms (upcoming post on this one).

- The yard, garden and trees outside.

- All the storage space.

- The two car garage.

- The long driveway and quiet street for the boys to ride their bikes.

I guess I'll stop here because I don't want the second list to be too big. :-(

If I remember more things, I'll edit the post later.

Here We Go Again! or Up for Grabs!

The house is officially up for sale today (yeah, and I write at midnight, so the day just officially started). I'm so happy about that! I mean, I like this house, but I can't wait to move and start our "new life."

"On to bigger things now!" Cheerfully exclaimed my friend Aliki in the last post's comment section. A friend's enthusiasm and support is priceless, isn't it?

Yeah, it was about time, we moved on, no?

More than anything, though, I'm thrilled that this year things are completely different from last year. Then, we grieved the impending loss of the house we didn't want to leave, but now we celebrate and welcome the impending changes. Now we're no longer burying the dream, we're cutting lose the strings that hold us to the ground so we can fly. Nothing like one day after the other!

P.S. we're traveling to Canada this weekend. I don't know how we'll do it since we're just so tired from getting the house ready. Maybe, just maybe, the biggest blogger meet up in the history of this blog could happen on Monday. I'll keep you posted!

Winter Math

I didn't want to be negative and title this "Shiver," so you get the mathy title instead. :-)

Edited to Add: Talk about "redundant" blogging! Good thing I skipped that title, since I'd already used it for an earlier post on the same subject. Sorry about that, folks! I'll try not to repeat myself so much in the future. (sigh)

Before I begin: the heating in our older house is baseboard/oil and we have three thermostats, one for each level of the house (no heating in the basement, which does feel comfortable and is dry year round because of the furnace there).

K didn't re-program the thermostat after we got back home from Brazil yet and I got tired of fiddling with the "hold" button, having to press it for a long time before it would let me change the temperature. So I decided to simply bring the radiator space heater that we have (like the one pictured here from this brand) and turn it on in our study/school room which is where we are for most of the day and leave the rest of the house cold. I thought this would be a smart way to save money on the oil bill too. It's tough to use the bathroom and the other rooms of the house and at the end of the day I end up turning the heat up, but it's been working so far. We do have to dress warmer all the time, though.

So, here's the winter math in our house today:

Outdoors (corded thermometer sensor right outside the study window):
38.3 F/ 3.5 C

Inside of study:
68.4 F/20.2 C

Level 1 (right out the door of this room - family room):
55 F/12.7 C

Level 2 (kitchen, living & dining rooms):
56 F/ 13.3 C

Level 3 (bedrooms & upstairs baths):
57 F/ 13.8 C

(level 3 is slightly warmer because the heater goes on at 7:30 am so it's easier to get out of bed. We love sleeping in a chilly house and the boys have no problem wearing long blanket pajamas on top of cotton ones).

How high/low is the thermostat at your house?

58, 57, 56... Shiver!

Conversion to Celsius degrees: 14, 13.8, 13 C

Those are the temperatures in the three levels of our house right now -- warmer in the ground level and colder upstairs in the bedrooms. We are about to turn the heat on (oil, baseboard) for the season -- K wanted to put it off until the 15th. We did turn it on briefly upstairs on Monday night when we came home from the city and it was 58 F. It's incredible to notice the difference 3-4 degrees make -- when it got to 61-2, I already felt much more comfortable.

K and I were discussing the setting up of the thermostats (luckily we have three, one for each level) and the maximum temperature we're planning for is 64. Shiver again. No wonder I don't like fall or winter at all (especially from a few years to now) -- we cannot afford to live comfortably in the cold weather (and we know we're also polluting the environment while heating the house... blah).

I can't wait for out trip to Brazil!!!

On Paper

The mail carrier just arrived and rang the bell because I had to sign for a delivery and there was an express UPS envelope by the door. It was from the bank, with the paperwork for the renegotiation of our loan. So after it's signed, notarized and mailed back to them, we will remove the sign from the front lawn. It will no longer be the "tombstone to our buried dream."

(taken on April 24)

The dream is alive again. And I have no words to express what a gift that is to me, to our family. I no longer have to choke back tears when the boys ride their bikes on the driveway all day long or wonder what things I have to give away or pay to store (not that we don't need de-cluttering, we do and I will get rid of things, I promise ;-). In sum, we live on, waiting for the next challenge, looking forward for K's job searches this fall and next year (if needed). Hopefully we'll move only when he has a full time job, exactly as we've always wanted, but only dared to dream about.

What a relief... Thank you so much for all your well wishes, your prayers and positive thoughts on our behalf. I'm so glad that we never got an offer on the house! It wasn't meant to be, we were meant to stay. Wonderful!

The Chinese Family

So, last Friday there was a showing scheduled for 11:30 am and I had planned accordingly to get the house ready and leave by 11 am. Around 10:30 a car parked in front of the house and I began to get anxious wondering why they'd come so early. Upon more careful examination I realized it was an Asian woman, one of the realtors who had already been to the house before (they leave their cards, if you're not familiar with the whole house selling process).

I called K to check whether the scheduled time was really 11:30 or earlier and got more and more upset, because this is definitely a breach of real estate transactions' "etiquette" -- owners and sellers generally don't get (and don't want to) see each other. By then I was running around and trying to get the last things done (washing the dishes and putting them away, making sure the counters were clean, brushing the toilets one last time, etc) and I didn't even have time (and disposition, given my nervousness) to eat (I hadn't had breakfast) -- I even stuck my plate of cereal (with no milk) in the fridge before leaving -- that made for an extra refreshing cereal with strawberry pieces later ;-).

It was almost 11 when I walked down the driveway to pick up the recycling bin and the trash and by then the realtor had left her car. I told her that I thought it was scheduled for 11:30 and I guess she said something about 11. Then she started asking a lot of questions (with our list of disclosures in her hand) and I answered. The prospective buyer then came -- a Chinese woman also -- and started talking to me and and then I realized that it would be a good thing to talk to them because they were from a completely different culture and not inserted into the "American way" of real estate practices.

I don't really know the Chinese very well and please forgive me if I'm just doing a gross and rude generalization here. Based on my brother and sister-in-law's stories from their two years in China I gather that the Chinese (at least those that they interacted with in the smaller city where they lived that had very few westerners -- less than 20, perhaps) are a bit "nosy" and like to know about other people's affairs (particularly if they are foreigners -- my SIL didn't like it that they would always be looking into her bags to see what she had purchased at the hotel where they were staying). That might explain their curiosity and willingness to approach me, something that would probably be a breach of the unspoken "codes of behavior" for buyers and sellers here. And then, of course, there was the confusion of time which might (or might not) be related to cultural differences ;-).

In any case I enjoyed talking to them, answering their questions as honestly as possible but still trying to sound enthusiastic about the house. The lady was concerned by the lack of air conditioning in the main floor (there are window units in the bedrooms) because she likes to cook a lot. They have a two year old girl (who was sleeping in the car and then woke up) and a 9 year old boy. When the husband arrived, I drove away.

I talked to my SIL on the phone soon after (not the one who lived in China, the one of party decoration fame who lives in Maryland) and told her that I was hoping that the Chinese family would buy the house. She reminded me that I should want them to buy it house only if they made a decent offer (another stereotype is that they are a bit thrifty, I hear) -- well, that's true, but still, I was thinking that it would be interesting to have another immigrant family live here...
from the Brazilians to the Chinese.

I'll let you know if they make an offer (or if anyone does, for that matter). I'm reaching that stage in which in spite of my sadness in "losing" this house, I want it to just be sold already. So maybe all this waiting may turn to be a good thing after all. I'm also beginning to fret and wonder what is wrong with the house and whether we need to redo the two other bathrooms before it can be sold. That is something that would take money that we just don't have, obviously!

I think I'm going to start applying for jobs again. Seriously. OK, that's it for now, I just wanted to share this little story...

So Many Showings, But Nothing Yet

I miss my cat. I saw him yesterday when we went to a birthday party at the friend's house where he's staying for now. It's hard to be just waiting for things to happen and to remain calm.

This coming Thursday will mark four weeks on the market for this house and although there have been many showings and some people who came to see it a second time, nobody made an offer yet. There was even one family who said that they were going to put an offer, but we don't know what happened... in any case, we're still waiting.

I'll write about what happened last Friday in another post, OK? Keep praying for us/ sending us positive energy, OK?

P.S. I really want to start posting photos, and I keep promising that too, right? And in the end I never do. I'll tell you one of the main reasons: it's faster to upload photos if I save smaller copies of them (they're all 5 mega pixels or above), but that's a big hassle, so... no updating to the nearly defunct photo blog and no photos here. :-(

I need CHANGE!

So I began with a small change my mast, or blog title background, putting one of my favorite photos (last one here too), which I took on October 17, 2006 through the screen in my front window. I hope to be able to make more radical changes in the future, not just to the blog, but to my hair (hi Kateri, I'm coming!). I think it's just a natural reaction to all the changes that we are going to have to face in our lives.

I tried to post this morning, but I was so overcome with grief and emotion that I became a sobbing heap and had to run outside and start sweeping the back covered patio, sobbing uncontrollably. I will try to come back and posts tonight, but it won't be easy. I think it'll be good to just share my pain so it can begin to get diluted in the thousands of words and experiences that I've already shared here...

This afternoon we have what we hope will be the second and last open house, that's why I was sweeping earlier. I still need to put some last minute touches into the cleaning and tidying up (well, the tidying up is actually taken care of, there's nothing out of place in this whole house, we've done it for a week already!). Anyway... that's it for now. The days have been beautiful, the weather finally warm, but I cannot really enjoy it wholeheartedly.

Hopefully I'll talk to you later today. Thanks for all those who have been commenting and giving me your support -- you don't know how much you comfort me and how much your words mean to me. I cannot say thank you enough!

800th Post: Hope!

800 Posts Later, I'm Still Here!

There are other things I want and need to blog about, but I needed to get the 800th post out of the way first. In the past, I've "celebrated" some of them with a photo of my flowers (700th) and, before that, there was a huge coincidence of the 600th post and the news that our green cards had been approved. And I'm glad I waited to post the 800th post, because now I can celebrate with hope.

Our realtor just called to let us know that there is someone interested in the house and that they're probably going to put an offer on Monday. They saw the house this past Tuesday (the day I baked biscuits to make the house smell homey and get people to want to buy it -- it worked like a charm on our first house, the first person who walked in offered, but it was a big batch of whole wheat bread made by my mom and MIL), but the good thing is that they had seen the house before we bought it 2 years ago!! So they can totally appreciate the incredible amount of work and serious renovations (siding and roof) we put in, unlike any other prospective buyers.

Keep your fingers crossed for us. This will be a suspenseful weekend! If they could only offer a "fair" amount that allowed us to come out of this at least with some money... (the 20K of the renovations is most likely "lost" at this point). I'll keep you posted...

"Spring Will Be a Little Late This Year"

You're supposed to read this listening to Carly Simon and Jimmy Webb's heartbreakingly beautiful rendition of the title song in her 1997 "concept" album Film Noir. At least, go here (Amazon link) and listen to the sample, it's such a gorgeous duet! I wish it wouldn't be c0pyright infringement to post the song here... what a complicated world we live in :-( I don't have the song in my computer, so I'm listening to Joni Mitchell...

I had an alternate, silly title: "This post's title was supposed to be a tired old metaphorical cliche, but you get this instead..." and I'm glad I remembered the song. And here's the ridiculous (but true right now) cliched metaphor: Spring is here, but as far as our spirits are concerned, it's still the middle of Winter. Yeah, that's what I thought when I was driving home on Friday, after 5.5 hours of driving.

It was still quite wintery looking up there in Massachusetts (especially Western MA), so when I pulled off the PA Turnpike into Germantown Pk. I realized that it was already very much Spring here, bright forsythias, . And then, I basically cried the 7 miles that separate from the Pike to our house. It was 7:30 pm, but there was still light and I could see my beautiful flowers, cheery daffodils and colorful and sweet smelling hyacinths.

I was surprised at myself... I didn't expect I would be just so devastatingly angry, so upset at coming back to my "perfect house" (thanks to my wonderful husband) knowing it's meant not to be ours anymore. As I drove home I had this almost "violent" reaction that after we sell the house, I never want to set foot in this area again. I want to move into the city and just forget that we ever lived here for almost two years. I want to move on and not look back. And I just felt angry. There's nothing to be angry at, that's the worst part. I will write later about how most of this suffering is of our own making (ah... regret, how bitter and caustic it is).

Anyway... I had two wonderful, beautiful weeks with my boys. I realized some small dreams -- I went back with them to the hospital where they were born, we visited this museum, went to the playground I used to take Kelvin in his first two years of life, and drove by the condo townhome into which I brought both of my babies from the hospital (Kelvin remembers it too, and he was 2.5 when we moved) -- our first house, the one we bought with 10K down -- the only money we perhaps will get back after 8 years of home ownership and two very profitable home sales.

I also stayed for a few days at my friend's house and the boys got to play with her daughters -- I had wanted to do that since last year and it was lovely! And before all that (in the previous week), I spent a lot of time with one of my best friends from childhood and her husband -- oh what a wonderful gift, after over 12 years of separation!!

So, this is a pathetic little post just to let you know that we're back and well, in spite of the fact that the night before I drove home (last Thu to Fri) was awful because Linton had an "asthma" attack (he doesn't have asthma, but was wheezing and coughing after a "coughy"cold) and I didn't want to just go to the emergency room, so I was up with him most of the night. We were able to have him use the nebulizer on Friday morning and I drove home uneventfully (he slept for three hours). I'm never leaving the house without that nebulizer and albuterol ever again!

Our friends are being very supportive and we know deep down that everything will be all right at the end, but it's still very painful. Having to leave the house looking perfect all the time is stressful, cooking is a hassle and a worry (won't the house smell bad?), but I must admit that it's an excellent exercice in "tidyness" for messy me, something I can use to improve in the future.

The stress is taking a toll on us, though. I'm snapping at the boys a lot, my voice has been slightly hoarse for over a month now (I don't have a runny nose or any other cold symptoms, but my throat just never fully heals), and at times I feel such sadness and despair that it's almost unbearable. It comes and goes, I cried while writing the post and Linton, who was watching some Bill the Science Guy YouTube video in the laptop with Kelvin in the same room, came to ask me what was going on and kissed me gently.

While I was writing the post, the bank called to check whether K would be making the mortgage payment tonight. He's delaying the payment to closer to the end of the grace period so that the bank will take seriously our request for a renegotiation of the terms of the mortgage. We do qualify for the plans that the government is trying to push the banks to renegotiate with struggling homeowners (we cannot refinance [not enough income], we can only renegotiate if possible), but the banks only do it if they are willing, or so I'm told. We don't know if ours is. And even if the payment could be dropped by 300 or more dollars, that would still not be enough for us to afford it unless I got steady work (not the uncertain adjuncting or lecturing, I guess -- not that I have really tried to go for those :-( ).

Anyway, this is getting really really l ong, I've been writing (on and off) since 5:30 pm and it's almost 9:30 pm, so I will just hit publish, OK? Without revising. We've been "revising" all our past right now, and it's just too painful.

Before & After - That's Why It's So Painful

I can't look at these photos without crying, it's just too much to bear, so I need to share them with you. Maybe it'll ease the pain (just the work of uploading and arranging them within the post has already been helpful! ;-). Someday I want to have a slide show of the transformation (and one of those hardcover books -- I wanted to have it for the showing, but in the end I think I'll never print these out and make the book), but for now these will do.

I know that the change in furniture style makes a huge difference, as does wall color, but still, this is a completely different house.

Hallway:

Living Room:

Kitchen:

Dining room
(I wish I had photos of the same angle -- I took tons, but they're all at home in the desktop :-( ):Master Bedroom (note: ceiling fan's still there):

And the most dramatic change - Family Room:So, what do you think?

Updating "Home Renovation" To-Do List from 2008!

Long time readers may recall a post from early 2008 in which I listed all the things we needed to do in the house (titled "Long Term Home Renovation To-Do List" -- I don't know why I put "long term" since most were done within 5 months! Added after writing post -- now I understand why!).

Here is the updated version (I had to use approximate dates because most of my photos -- the best way to date the conclusion of the jobs -- are in the desktop, not the laptop that I have right now):

First, a quick review:
1) The Ground Level comprises: the garage, family room, 4th bedroom (home office), front door to back door hallway in which the laundry is located, and a small full bathroom.
2) The Second Level: living-room, dining-room, and kitchen.
3) The Third Level: master bedroom with small full bathroom, two bedrooms, hall bathroom.
4) The Partial Basement: one large "finished" room, the unfinished furnace and oil tank room, and another room where there's a sump pump and the electricity "control panel."

Ground Level Projects:
- Put vinyl floor in laundry area and paint wall (9/18/07)
- Paint* 4th bedroom/home office (10/2/07)
- Paint home office closet - NOT DONE!
- Paint pink wall to the left of entrance hallway 4/08 (my dad)
- Remove wall paper from wall by living-room stairs 4/08 (my dad)
- Replace the "Technicolor Dreamcoat Carpet" by laminate or other flooring - July 08
- Deal with wood paneling in family room (paint? remove?) Painted two weeks ago by K - 3/20/09 (concluded)
- Do something to the ugly fireplace - I looks BEAUTIFUL now with the painted wall! (photos coming soon)
- Get the remote controls to the garage door to work -- OOOPS! We have to take care of that before closing!
- Fix cracked concrete floor in the garage - NOT GOING TO BE DONE
- Renovate small bathroom (floors, etc) - NOPE :-(
- Install exhaust fan to bathroom (through outside wall) NOPE...

First Level Projects
- Remove ugly border from dining-room and paint May 08 (my dad)
- Replace light fixture in dining-room July 08 (because of MY insistence!)
- ? Patch huge hole left from air conditioner removal (after stucco wall is replaced) - YES! Done in May 08.
- Remove wall-paper from living-room back wall (after previous project) May 08 (my dad)
Redo whole kitchen - YES! Redone!:
- Replace all cabinets - All were sanded and refinished with clear stain!!!
- Replace all appliances (except for white new fridge we bought for previous house. The stove is really bad right now, I can't wait to have another one) July 08
- Put an island at the middle of the room - For future owner :-(
- Put new light fixtures Aug 08 (eating area) and March 09 (above sink) - both from IKEA, where else? (we live at IKEA, basically0
- Tile the floors July 08
- ? Granite countertops? - I must have been kidding, right? Formica countertops - July 08
- Install stove exhaust fan (through attic? how?) - NAH!!!
- Transform corner into a closet with built-in-pantry (a pantry like that is my wildest dream!! - Keep on dreaming, Lilian!) Aug. 08 (IVAR shelving from IKEA) and March 09 - sliding panels from IKEA.

Second Level Projects
- Paint (dark pink) closet in boy's bedroom (9/21/07)
- Paint (even darker pink) closet in master bedroom (9/25/07)
- Remove hideous carpet from hall bathroom (10/14/07)
- Replace rusted baseboard heat cover (required toilet removal) (10/18/07)
- Cover old flooring with (cheap) vinyl tiles (10/17/07)
- Paint boy's bedroom (1/24/08)
- Remove old carpet in boy's bedroom (1/24/08)
- Paint guest bedroom and closet (2/6/08)
- Remove old carpet in guest bedroom (2/7/08)
- Paint master bedroom (after removing ugly border)(2/27/08)
- Remove old carpet in master bathroom (2/28/08)
- [partly done] Install exhaust fans/vents in both upstairs bathrooms (through the attic) Only done in Master Bath, Nov. 08, I think
Re-do tiny master bathroom:
- Put ceramic tiles in shower stall (or buy a new plastic one - NO WAY!) July 08
- Add swinging door to shower - NEXT OWNER
- Ceramic tiles on floor - SURE! July 08
- Replace white tiles on wall July 08
Re-do "long" hall bathroom: NAH :-(
- Replace the ugliest bathroom vanity in history
- Put attractive light fixtures
- (Only a dream) Replace tub with a whirlpool tub
- Add sliding doors to tub (?)
- Re-tile floors, walls and shower/tub

Basement:
- Redo the whole thing, new flooring, walls, ceiling, etc. - SORRY, NOT POSSIBLE!
- Install water softener - NOPE
- Paint outside cement block walls with impermeable paint - Poor K is doing this as I type this 3/31/09

Outdoor Projects
- Replace, and level to correct angle the soil by the foundation of the house/ basement, so water doesn't seep into basement walls - Not really :-(
- Redo buckling stucco wall on the right side of house (living/dining room wall) and all stucco around the house (close to 10K) -- will include demolition and probable replacement of plywood walls. April 08 - It was less than 10K! I love me some nice Mexicans (roof too).
- Transform the back porch in a screened in porch - NAH...
- Add two or three skylights to back porch (too dark) - only a dream anyway
- In two year's time -- replace roof. HA!!!! See here for the reason why it was replaced in Aug. 08.

* Painting rooms in our book involves: painting the window, door frames, and baseboard (including heater) "pure white," painting the ceiling (white), painting the walls and the closet, and replacing all the black outlets and light switch with white, sleek ones.

As I wrote back in September, we have come a long way! But, lemme tell ya, I was THRILLED to see that I didn't get to cross everything in the list above. We did a lot, but not everything, and that's a great consolation to me. And, you know, we're addicted to this, we LOVE renovating and we'll probably do it again! We're actually looking forward to it now. We're incorrigible, that's what, or, we just enjoy it, that's all.

Putting up the Tombstone

I just talked to K on the phone. When I mentioned yesterday's post he laughed a bit (sarcastically) and said,

If on Friday I was burying the house, today I put up the tombstone when I put the 'For Sale' sign up front.

That was a very apt metaphor. Selling the house is the right (if the only) thing to do though, and we're at peace with that. The grief remains, however and we will mourn the loss for quite a while. I will try and post pictures later, to "celebrate" the short lived relationship that we had with this house. RIP.

Burying the Dream

The house is officially on the market and when I saw the listing online tonight I broke down. Not externally because my in-laws and the boys were having dinner and we're in a small apartment, so there was nowhere I could do to just cry and cry. And it's so impossibly hard to keep your composure when you're just completely grief stricken inside!

It was devastating for me to read the description of the house and see the photos that K took yesterday and we selected last night. The grief is just too much to bear, really.

If the house just wasn't that beautiful...

If we hadn't spent so much money and effort into it to make it look that way...

If were not aware that after 8 years of home ownership (an integral part of the "American Dream") we are now back to square ONE, having lost all the money we had so far managed to make and ending up with the roughly 10K we started with back in 2001 (if all goes well with the sale).

Even knowing that this is NOTHING compared to other people's losses still hurts. And it hurts incredibly more because (and I was going to write another post about "The Roads Not Taken" or "Regrets" and maybe someday I will) K found out (quite by accident) last week that his group at Big Pharma hasn't been dismantled yet, so he could still be there, making enough money for us to keep the house. He hated the job, though, and it was (and wouldn't) taking him nowhere. Now, he's making less than half the money, but he feels rewarded, fulfilled, and hopeful for a nice tenure track position in the future. So, we are confident it's all for the best, but still, learning about this on the hardest moment -- the one in which you put the house you thought you'd live for many years in on the market -- is just indescribably hard and heart-breaking.

All this has been much harder on K, but it's taking its toll on me now that it's very palpable that there's no way out, and nothing can happen to make us keep the house. K says he feels detached from the house, that he wants closure, and I don't blame him.

On Friday, he spent most of the day spreading the huge pile of mulch that we had a landscaper friend dump onto the yard and as he did that (with a bucket no less, poor K!) he saw it as a fitting metaphor -- he was burying the house, burying the dream.

And here it ends. It all began on that fateful day back on October 31, 2007. I know it could have been worse and that we'll be OK, but it's no less painful.

May the dream rest in peace and others spring in its place. Sigh.

In Two Weeks...

... if all goes according to plan, there's going to be a For Sale sign on our front yard.

(photo from 10/23/08)

I should actually be cleaning and de-cluttering right now and not writing this post, but hopefully we'll get that done and do a successful "staging" of the house. We've done it twice before and succeeded in the first few showings. The kids and I were not around back in 2007, though (we were in Brazil), so it was easier to keep the house in perfect condition. That's why we're planning to travel to Massachusetts for two weeks so we can be away for the first two or three open houses. (I have a conference in Boston and then a week later Kelvin has a 10 day Spring break so we'll just combine the two).

Wish us luck, particularly in the next two weeks as K takes some days off from work to paint and I try to do one of the hardest things in life for me: organizing, decluttering, and tidying up the house. I wish I could afford professional "stagers" since make over people (the ideal ones) are even more out of the question, obviously ;-)

I'm planning to get the photos of the renovations up here soon. I'm even trying to beat my friend Tracy with her awesome bathroom renovation photo posting ;-) (and I know that by writing this I'm setting myself up to fail because she can just go ahead and post before I do ;-).

Some friends are sad on our behalf and ask whether we shouldn't try harder to keep the house, but our standard answer is that we're already detached from it. We've already grived (over and over again, actually) its loss and we can't wait to get rid of it at this point. Of hourse there will still be sorrow, but if we can come out of this debt free and able to start with a clean slate, I'll be very thankful and satisfied. We'll keep you updated.

One Year Ago Today...

... all of a sudden, our peaceful existence came to a crashing halt and full blown crisis mode and uncertainty ensued.

Looking back, I feel that we are so much stronger because of what happened that I can actually feel very thankful for the stable situation that we're in right now. The greatest gift is undoubtedly the residency. With it, came the decision not to return to Brazil, and, possibly, live for several more more years here in the Philadelphia area.

We still have the house, it's mostly renovated -- brand new siding and roof, new and uncovered floors, brand new bathroom (still unfinished) -- and we're making enough money to pay the mortgage. We have some significant credit card debt from the home renovations, but we can slowly pay it off, I'm sure. We have decided to remain here for a while, at least for a few years, unless K (or I, who knows!) is offered a TT job (he's thinking of applying, perhaps not this year, but next year for sure).

And I'm also glad that what happened last year is not happening now when the financial crisis is in full force. Moreover, I think we're going to stick with being academics... in spite of the horrible competition for jobs, people are still going to need to get an education, even in recession or depression, or whatever may come. Having been in the bottom of the well nothing is too scary or dark right now, any situation seems better by comparison. That's the gift that tough experiences bring and I am thankful for having gone through it all.

365+1 Days Later, Here We Are! For Better of For Worse

Wow... I was almost dumbstruck when I read the post from exactly one year ago -- the day we had the closing on this house. I can hardly believe that we've done almost everything that needed to be done!

Of course I already knew that, but simply looking at those photos and reading what I wrote and the partial "to-do" list (full list here -- I have to go check all that was done) reminded me of far we've come and how unexpected the way to get to where we are now was. Because the truth of the matter is that we began most of these renovations in earnest on July 13, only two months ago, in order to put the house on the market. And... we've decided to stick around a little longer. Debt or no debt. Tight budget or not (and hopefully I'll begin to get paychecks within a month at the latest ;-).

Before and after photos of the house (or slide shows if I can manage) are forthcoming. I promise. Even if I have to go to bed really really late (as if I wasn't used to that already! :-). We need to commemorate this day, even if it's just virtually!

Meanwhile, this is the photo I took a few minutes ago, brand new roof, shiny from rain, weedy lawn, and all: