This weekend

I cannot say much about this weekend because of the semi-anonymous nature of this blog, which is already saying too much.

All I will say is that when I picked up my phone after lunch with our family and visiting family on Saturday and began to be really upset and worked up about what a lot of my friends were posting, I had to stop and try put it out of my mind. After venting a little to my brother- and sister-in-law (subject for another blog post!) I had to just be quiet and not think about it because were preparing for a surprise birthday party that was going to happen in my backyard in just a few hours and I knew I just couldn't even begin to talk to most people at this party about what was happening. :-( One of our close church friends has an NRA sticker in the back of the family van. Nice people who are just so clueless about their privilege and the consequences of their political stance.

This disconnect between our church and school community and our values, our commitment to social justice,* and our political leaning sometimes make us feel lonely and frustrated. It's a "neutral" enough community -- most people aren't really politically engaged and controversial topics aren't brought up, but the school... (I mean the boarding high school who just started school) is composed of a near majority of kids of color and I feel for those kids. We need to do more for those kids, not to keep them in a "bubble" which is kind of what the school already is, but to also prepare them to face their world (which most of their teachers and school administrators don't really understand. Sigh...). 

OK, let me now go try and finish this "fluffy" post about my kid's newly started first-day of school. 

* I just found out reading news this weekend that "they" label us "Marxist" or  SJW - Social Justice Warriors - UGH!!!

Ferguson, White Privilege & My Sons

(from original post) I was going to title this post "White Privilege" but I thought it might be too aggressive... (I don't know exactly why, but I'll go with my gut feeling for now). I decided to add it to the title and also to provide a link to this MUST READ summary essay from 1990: "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" by Peggy McIntosh. I knew of this article from Dawn, who linked to it a long time ago, but I had half-forgotten about it. 

What can I say regarding the fact that the Grand Jury in Ferguson, MO decided not to indict the policeman who killed Michael Brown, except to lament that racial inequalities and injustices in this country are too blatant and overwhelming to be ignored? I was very upset with the acquittal of the murderer of Trayvon Martin as well.

What can I say but to acknowledge my white privilege?

I am very thankful that my experiences as an immigrant, an outsider, a foreigner have meant so much to my African-American friends over the years (particularly my friend Sharron in Massachusetts) that they confided in me and felt that I understood them because I knew the feeling of "otherness" first hand. But still, I have an undeniable privilege because of the lighter color of my skin.

This shouldn't be the case, but it is. This is the country and the world we live in and I feel outraged by it. And saddened and sorry. I'm trying my best to instill a passion against these injustices in my sons who are "the cream of the crop" in terms of privilege -- white boys, someday white men, American born.

First, I strive to have them identify themselves as wholly Brazilian (in spite of their birthplace) and therefore different. I know that however little, a sense of displacement and otherness will be extremely beneficial to them. I tell them they're Brazilian, I speak Portuguese with them loudly in public and at their school (and yes, I have had annoying older people around complain under their breath and say something to the effect that "this is America"), I wish I could take them to Brazil every year, but that's not possible.

Second, I tell them the stories of Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin in a simple, non-sensational language (since they don't watch or read the news) and their indignation and outrage ("Why mom? Why were they killed?") is part of their learning experience. And I talk to them about their African-American, Hispanic and darker-skinned classmates and explain that unfortunately people probably won't treat them the same as they grow up.

I am immensely thankful that in the four years we've lived here our church and our school have experienced an incredible "diversifying" wave, because my first thought when entering the church back in June 2010 was "this place is so overwhelmingly white!" :-( Now each of my sons has several African-American classmates when originally they had one (in K's case) and none (in L's case) back in 2010 in addition to several Hispanic and some Asian (Korean).

I'm sure that what I'm doing is far from what could be done (like most things in parenting!), but I hope I'm planting "seeds" in my boys' hearts so they can grow up to actively fight against racial inequalities while recognizing their immense white privilege. I can only hope I'm moving in the right direction.

General Education Students

I think one of the big "culture shocks" for me as an expatriate wasn't selling all my furniture, packing all my clothes, photos & cds and leaving family and friends behind to move to another country. It wasn't even the depression that settled in as I realized we were spending all our hard-saved money and not making enough. It wasn't speaking a different language, since I was 100% fluent in it after all... and the culture wasn't that different from what I was used back home.

One of the big shocks was... surprisingly, teaching undergraduate students (another was health care, particularly pre-natal care and I blogged all about this here). I still have lots of difficulty really connecting to most Americans and I find it hard to blog about this because after all, my blog readers and blog friends are exactly those Americans I've best connected with! Now... maybe it'll be a bit easier to write that I find that connecting with undergraduate students, particularly "Gen Ed" undergrads here in the U.S. to be utterly impossible!

I TAed and then taught them for nearly six years, including several summers and winter sessions during graduate school and I just felt so inadequate, so "not a person." I thought that maybe it was because I was in grad school and that it would be way better when I was done. Well... of course I'm not a real "professor" yet, but most students don't really know that.

I must give this state credit where credit is due and maybe it's because we're already in the South here and people in the South are friendlier, warmer, a bit more caring, but I do like the students in VA "better" than those in MA. And I know that student populations vary greatly from school to school.

Another thing... I enjoyed working with language students last year, I think they're a little different, more interested. However, this semester I am teaching a "Gen Ed" class... Today was the first day and I already find the students challenging as I felt they'd be. I'm planning to make this class more learner-based, thus, with more discussion, group work, etc. and I don't know how well that's gonna go.

I think one of my biggest problems with American undergrads (and people in general) is that I haven't experienced schooling in this country and I have no idea how it is -- just from films or reading and now from some of your blogs when you write about your students.

Well, yeah. I don't know what else to say. This sounds very lame. It is exactly what I wanted to share today, after teaching my first GenEd class in 7 years. But I'm not blaming on the students per se (I have three students in the class that have taken my other classes and I know them, so that's nice) -- I'm blaming it on the "requirement" of having to take these GenEd classes that they aren't really interested in, but have to take. I hope they get to learn something from this class -- not "from me," but from the readings, the films, from our class activities -- I can only try to motivate them and be enthusiastic about the subject.

Teaching blog friends/readers of mine... do you think my problem is due to my expatriate status or do you find hard to connect to your students as well? (I know Jo(e) most certainly doesn't, but then, again, she's awesome and her students are too).

Another thing I worry about -- am I letting my own (perhaps pre-conceived) view of my students influence me too much? Should I try to be more open, caring, and accommodating and not so judgmental? Maybe ta change of attitude will help, right? Any thoughts you can share with me will be appreciated.

P.S. I have six students, it looks like I'll be fine with that class! Hey, I'm surprised that this has become (for right now) a teaching blog! Oh my! Who knew!

Our New Foe Has a Name: Sprint

Once upon a time, my humble blog was the very first result on Google for "Verizon Sucks" (and I still think they did back then when we moved, but I'm back with them for as a wireless provider) & I'm not fond of Comcast's monopoly either. However, I never in a million years thought I'd be basically "begging" them both to please provide internet for my new address, pretty please!! because I already HATE the internet provider we're forcibly saddled with even though we don't even have service in our new house yet to begin with. (and that's part of the problem) I hear horror stories from whoever I talk to and K & I have decided to wage a war against this company even before we are officially their customers. Too bad I just found out, through Wikipedia, the new most "reliable" and certainly  most updated source of information in the world, it won't be an easy fight because another telecom "giant" owns our much hated local monopoly company.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. I'm telling myself right now. I'm so upset, having just called Comcast to disconnect the internet from the rental place on Friday. And I know it's a silly first-world problem, but still. The internet is my life. Not only am I hopelessly addicted ti ut because it connects me to my friends and family to all over the world, but also because it provides me with a cheap phone line in which I can make limitless calls all over the world (35 countries -- remember, we have family in Brazil, New Zealand, Canada, etc.) and now I would be even able to call cell phones in Brazil! (this is our voip provider). It is also indispensable for work because I communicate with my students at home, post their grades online and even do a big chunk of my instruction through Blackboard.

so... yeah, the prospect of having a really bad DSL ISP which I'm told breaks down with every strong storm (and you know there have been lots of storms everywhere in the country lately) just drives me insane. It doesn't help that since we began sleeping at the new house last Friday we have been going (sometimes very late at night) to the old rental place to go online and do some work and catch up on email and stuff.

Of course this is partly our fault because I could have set up an appointment with Evil Local Phone Company (ELPC) last week on Monday, but K wanted to make absolutely sure we had nowhere to turn to but them before we made it official. I called them last Friday and I have YET to hear back from them with a date for installation and when I can go pick up our package for self-installation at their headquarters. BLAH.

In conclusion: after an exhausting day tag-team parenting*, I'm still here at the university trying to tie some lose ends that require internet and writing this post... We will survive, but I knew it would be INSANE to move during the last week of the semester. I have oral exams to give (which will take many hours tomorrow and Thursday) and K is in the middle of an interview week with candidates to a 2 year position in his department. Then, I have to write two final exams over the weekend and give them on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

OK, let me get a grip and quit this whining. Now, does anyone know anything of what I have to do to try to FORCE this ELPC and its owner or partner Spring QUIT monopolizing service for this area (particularly because it is VERY, VERY BAD and within a few miles of other counties which offer other services)? Where do I start? Last week K called the FCC, which directed him to the local Virginia communications office and they assured him there was no monopoly. We'll have to start digging deeper. I wish I knew some good lawyers. ;)

* I drove our youngest son and 3 of his 1st and 2nd grade classmates to a field trip at a museum 2 hours away, then helped a bit in their tumbling class (in school), dropped the boys off at home, ate something super fast, dressed Linton for soccer, traded cars with K who was coming from the University and drove down here to show a film for my students while K took L to soccer and is now putting the boys to bed. (my parents are still here, but we only have two cars. At least they cooked for us and are helping us put things away).

Snow all over the country, and gorgeous day here

This is what I really wanted to have posted today, accompanied by some nice photos taken with my phone on campus. I don't have the energy to go find the adapter for the tiny memory stick, so I'll just jot these words down before heading to bed.

In any case... my dear husband has been following this latest storm for days in the weather channel online and this morning he even did something we NEVER ever do -- he turned the TV onto the weather channel to check the local forecast before breakfast.

All of this to say that today millions of people woke up to blizzard conditions or lots of treacherous ice and we had a sunny day with temperatures in the 50s. The sky was blue, it was windy and it smelled like Spring! What a wonderful way to begin the month of February.

You know... I think I may get to enjoy living below the Mason-Dixon line after all! ;)

Below the Mason-Dixon Line

Perhaps you'd think that, as an expatriate, what should I care about the "North" & "South" divide in this country, right? However, I've lived here long enough now to wonder, and almost to worry, about what is life going to be like for someone who's been up North for fourteen years to come live in the South.

Well, I guess I've had a gradual "descent" with 8 years in Massachusetts then 6 years in Pennsylvania before moving to Virginia and that should help. I suppose that were we to move further South (Atlanta), one year here would probably be helpful too. ;-)

I guess that in a way, moving this time means "reliving" (in a much smaller degree), "the mother of all moves" -- when we left Brazil to come to the U.S. (I've got to try to post about that, I'll try to make it on or around our "expatriate anniversary" on June 20).

This country really is the United States of America -- when you cross state lines you can feel the difference already on the highway, the signs, existence or absence of billboards, etc. Things look and feel different. This is still fascinating to me all these years after moving to this country.

I didn't arrive here until 5:30 p.m. (K left PA at 6 am so he could be here for the cable guy at 11) and I had a most disastrous welcome! There was a cop on our new street, just one block from our townhome and I wasn't thinking about my speed -- I got distracted when I saw the truck trailer parked in front of the house (I was so glad to be finally "home" again, after 24h+ of homelessness) -- but she caught me.

It turns out the limit on this street is 25 and I was going 41 (I truly didn't know the limit and wasn't paying attention to the signs). Now I have a court date and I'm guessing that won't get points, but I'll still have to pay (that's what happened when I got my one and only speeding ticket back in PA years ago -- the cop literally told me to go to court for that 'cause they were there doing a "drive" or something to make some money).

I was so upset when I was prevented from getting to my new house and had to wait for a long time for the cop to fill the huge form! I called K and he came to get the boys. By the time the lady came, I had calmed down and wasn't so angry. Sigh. She was nicer too. So, yeah... I'm glad the street has such a low limit b/c it'll be good for the boys (riding their bikes on the parking lot, etc) and I'll be careful from now on.

We had no idea, but we live only a few hundred yards from the elementary school (our kids are going to go to a private school 10 minutes away). It's just around the corner, across the street, and it has a really nice playground. I'm so thrilled we found this house and aren't going to live in the other neighborhood!!

I don't know yet how the radical downsizing (2500 sq. ft. to around 1100) is going to go, but I think we'll live ;-).

More later because I really, really need to sleep. I'm glad to be home, though. With our stuff waiting on the parking lot to be unloaded (friends are coming from PA tomorrow to help). Thinks are falling into place... what a relief!