Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The American Dream, Interrupted

Last week K and I watched Michael Moore's Roger & Me after we'd carried it with us for two whole months. We should have seen this event as a bad omen.

Two days ago I finally updated my blog heading and changed the last part to say: "A Ph.D. student for almost 10 years now getting ready to finally get the degree and trying to figure out what to do next with her life now that her husband (who used to be a foreign student as well) finally got a job." (italics added) instead of: "A foreign student married to a postdoc (who used to be a foreign student)." Yeah, I guess that by saying that I jinxed it.

Of course I'm just kidding, but these are just two monumental coincidences whose ironic effect is not lost on me.

This is what I wrote yesterday at around 3:30 p.m but didn't post:

Wow... I don't even know how to write about this. K just called to tell me that there's an uproar today at "big pharma" because there was a virtual town hall meeting and they announced that 80 positions will be eliminated. There's a suspicion that the group in which he works might be summarily cut. And he's been there for only two months. Wow. His boss came to his office and told him to confirm whether the workshop he was going to attend in London next week is still taking place and whether the people he was planning to meet are still working on their projects. He won't hear from them until tomorrow though, since it's already night in the U.K. He might not be traveling after all. For all we know he might be out of a job soon as well. This was the biggest disadvantage of landing an industry job versus an academic one. The hiring process takes much longer in academia, but there's much more stability whereas in the industry they can hire and fire very quickly.

I was stunned, but immediately started thinking of what our options would be and what we could do with our lives. I felt a strange exhilaration -- I'm usually not afraid of new things and of moving on. BUT it is a pretty scary thought, isn't it? I'm a very practical person when it comes to these things so my only big worry is this white elephant of a house since it's the one sure thing we'd have to get rid of right away. Who would buy it? if only we had bought a fixer-upper already with the money to fix it then we'd work on it and it would be just like "flipping" a house...

I have butterflies in my stomach right now. Anyway, if it's meant to be it'll be much better if it is soon since we're not really attached to the house, the neighborhood, etc. It'll be challenging, but not the end of the world. If nothing happens this is just a stern reminder that we have to be ALWAYS ready because that's how it is with industry jobs.

~ ~ ~~

I was very anxious and stressed out last night and thought I wasn't going to sleep well, but thankfully I did. The phone rang at 10:26 am this morning and K told me that yes, the whole group had been cut worldwide. 30 people, including his boss and the boss's boss, both of whom had been working there for many years, were now without a job.
...

Good thing I had called my parents right after K talked to me yesterday because they were now prepared for the worse. K thought it was a bad idea, but it was good I did it -- I have to follow my instincts, I know. I had also mentioned it to my SIL on the phone last night, but she refused to believe me, she thought I could not have been serious and so she was very unpleasantly surprised today. My in-laws were speechless.

It's very surreal. And the worse problem is not really the house as I mentioned above, it's our visa situation. TWELVE whole years in this country and still uncertain of how to proceed. My visa is connected to the school, as soon as I graduate, it's done. I can get the one year permit to work, but I HAVE to find work. K can be under my visa, but only if I have work (he won't be able to work). The pressure's on. I went to look for job postings in the MLA's Job Information List and a few have already started reviewing applications, but most start in two weeks (Nov. 15). K can also apply for academic posts. We're planning to ask for help from our friends who work in construction to renovate the house for "flipping" at the lowest cost possible. K will have time to do the renovations and also watch the kid as I finish the dissertation since he'll be unemployed. It looks like he's going to keep earning and have the health care benefits until May. What we'll do in-between (if one of us gets a job) is uncertain. I want to live here until the last day of school for Kelvin (May 28).

Yeah, I know... so many things. But we know it's going to be all right. We always have the option of returning to Brazil. We even have a house to live there and people who would hire us right away. I feel full of energy, but K feels the contrary -- he's lost his motivation to do anything. Of course he's still in shock. OK, gotta go pick Kelvin in school and I'll be back later.

The upside:
Good think we now won't feel that bad while watching Michael Moore's Sicko (which we missed on the big screen and is coming out on DVD in a week) since we won't have ties to the pharmaceutical industry anymore. I just added it to the top of my queue on Netflix! :)

11 comments:

Prisca said...

Oh my gosh! All at once? How can this be? Job, house, visas, dissertation... it does sound surreal. Is there anything we can do to help you?

ArticulateDad said...

Oh, my!
I wish I knew what to say, but Lilian, from the tone of your post, I think you've got it all under control. You've got the right attitude. I think of one guy who was interviewed after losing his house in the recent fires here in Southern California. He said, "you know, I'm kind of glad it's gone. Who'd want to live on a cul-de-sac, when four of your neighbors' houses are gone."

Always find the silver lining. Freedom (even from something we thought we wanted) can inspire us. In any case, good luck with dealing with it all. And keep us informed (I know you will).

Cheryl said...

Wow! When it rains it pours, doesn't it?

Like A.D. said, it sounds like you've got the right attitude. Uncertainty can be difficult to deal with, but you still have everything that is important - your family, your health, your mind.

I hope you have much better luck in the next week and those following.

Tracy said...

Holy cow, Lilian, I was not expecting this!

So much upheaval in such a short time. You are thinking about things in just the right way, though. You really sound like you've thought through everything and can be rational about it all. Good for you!

It's nice that K will continue to be paid until the end of the school year. That gives you plenty of time to sort your lives out, work on the house, etc.

Everything always works out just the way it should. You know that.

Jody said...

Oh my god, the perfect storm. I hope the early adrenaline carries you through until K has time to mourn and recover from the shock, and then the two of you can move quickly on the house. Oh no.

I'm really sorry. That totally sucks. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

Unknown said...

Wow. Lilian. Wow.

My thoughts are with you guys to speedy job offers.

M said...

I'm so sorry, Lilian. My fingers are crossed that either your or K (or both!) find a job quickly.

t1 Diabetes said...

I was watching "Evan Almighty" *great movie btw!*... God is telling him to build an ark. He tells God that this does not quite fit with his plans...

God laughs, and laughs and laughs...
- YOUR plans?

-----------------------------
no final, da' tudo certo, mas o caminha, ai que desanimo.
eu entendo.
Um abraco pra vc e pro K.

Scrivener said...

Yikes! I hope things work out for you and your family, Lilian.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Lilian, I'll be thinking of you. So sorry to hear your news.

Alice said...

Oh, Lilian .. here I go checking out your blog after half a year of not reading (soo sorry but I have really been in absentia from the blogosphere all these months) - and then I read this!!! Oh gosh. I am so sorry about all this and really hope that everything will get back on track really really soon! I can only imagine what you guys must be going through right now.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs!!!

Take care. If you want to talk, you know where to find me ;)