What Was Left Unsaid... / New Goal

The end of November is pretty intense every year, so it's a bit of a pity that this month has been arbitrarily chosen for "National Blog Posting Month" to follow the novel writing month movement. I'm always a bit sad when the month ends, but hopefully I can still continue to blog often -- without the obligation of it.

As a matter of fact, I decided that I want to try to blog more than I did back in 2008 (240 posts) and for that to happen, I will need to write 26 more posts before the year ends. So... you'll get almost a repeat of NaBloPoMo in December. Ever since I started the blog I had been blogging more and more each year, with the exception of 2009 which was the worst year ever, really. I'm thrilled that 2010 was way better, but that'll be the subject of various end of year posts.

OK, so because of our travels in the past two weeks, I posted lots of light-hearted, pretty boring "fluff" (well, except for Sunday's really serious post) and now there is a back-log of serious posts I want to write. I think it will be useful to post the list here for future reference!

A short overview:

- The negative side(s) of "staying" (positive side here);

- More about "working in the margins" (related to the topic above);

- How I'm missing Brazil lately;

- My insecurities;

- More documentary watching & blogging;

- The terrible "warfare" situation in the city of Rio de Janeiro (if I don't write about that soon, it will be old old news);

And I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of it right now. Is there anything you would like me to blog about?

I'm happy with NaBloPoMo 2010, now I'll try to find a cute badge to put in the sidebar!

P.S. I went to the eye-doctor today. I have a form of conjunctivitis caused by contact-lens wearing. I will have to wear glasses for three long weeks (sigh) while I'm using prescription eye-drops -- which Costco didn't have today so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to start. :(  I do NOT like wearing glasses, ever. That's why I've been wearing contacts for 20 years. This will probably be the longest I'll ever wear glasses. And they are two years old and not that comfortable. :( oh well... I'm glad it's nothing more serious, that's for sure!

One Year to Grow 3 Inches

My almost nine year old son has one year to grow from 51 to 54 inches tall if he wants to go to roller-coasters with me next year.

You see, it has been determined that K's immediate family (plus the grandmothers on both sides) will finally have a reunion next year, and it is to be in Orlando, FL for Xmas and New Year's. I have to try to blog sometime about my troublesome love/hate relationship with the mindless (and really costly) entertainment of theme parks, but I'm happy about the location -- large rental houses can be found there to accommodate the family comfortably and that's not an easy feat.

In any case, I don't know how the logistics of the trip will work out because I'm sure each family, each person, would like to go to a different park/place, but if Kelvin is 54 inches tall by then I will have to go to one or two parks that have roller coasters with him. There are a few options, this is the main one (I've never been there), then this (there's one of it in this state, maybe we should consider a season pass? nah... K will be totally against it) and that (only two, but one really awesome).

So, yeah... I love to live in anticipation of things to come, that's why I enjoy planning trips and thinking about them.

Meanwhile I'm telling Kelvin to eat healthy, exercise and get plenty of sleep. He may just make it! :)

Study Confirms What I Already Felt About "Voluntourism"

When I came to the U.S. I quickly found out that Americans, particularly those who are religiously affiliated, are passionate about going abroad to help less fortunate people in struggling countries. When I first came across the concept of the "Mission Trip" my gut feeling was that they did much more good to those who went than to the people in developing nations. It seems that I was very right about this one.

I felt particularly bad about the sometimes exorbitant cost of the trip for those involved and always wondered to myself that it would be WAY better that all that fundraising and all that money spent on costly airfare and hotel accommodations would be better employed if sent directly to those countries and used to employ local people to take care of the needy.

Of course one can argue that doctors, dentists and nurses could be in short supply in developing nations and thus medical excursions can be justified. I agree with that, up to a certain point. In the trips that I've known about in addition to medical professionals, lots of other people go and, generally, help build a school, a church or something. That I think is a disservice to the local population since it would cost much less to build the same structure using the money provided by foreigners and local, paid employees.

Although I felt uncomfortable about these trips, particularly with the way those who came back talked about the "poor needy people" in such and such a country and how lovely it had been to go down there and help them, I justified their actions by reasoning that they had had a learning experience and seen a reality way different from them, so they could grow as people.

You see, traveling the world is a life changing experience, I know that because of my expatriate experience. However, what this enlightening and also frightening Guardian article by Ian Birrell describes, particularly in what concerns children, is very sad. The title speaks volumes already: "Before you pay to volunteer abroad, think of the harm you might do."

Birrell calls the recent findings by South African and British academics "incendiary" and he concurs with my "gut feeling" about these trips: "The harsh truth is that "voluntourism" is more about the self-fulfilment of westerners than the needs of developing nations."


He also writes: "In recent years, a disturbing form of slum tourism has taken off, with rich visitors sold a glimpse into the lives of the very poor. In Asia, unbelievably, tourists pay for trips to hand out food to impoverished rural families." His article and the aforementioned study concentrate in the effects of "voluntourism" in children which can, in extreme cases, lead to abuse and the removal of children from their families. Absolutely outrageous!


Birrell ends with these cautionary words:

The desire to engage with the world is laudable, as is the desire to volunteer. But we need to tread more carefully. Unless we have time and transferable skills, we might do better to travel, trade and spend money in developing countries. The rapid growth of "voluntourism" is like the rapid growth of the aid industry: salving our own consciences without fully examining the consequences for the people we seek to help. All too often, our heartfelt efforts to help only make matters worse.

I hope many people involved in this kind of despicable "tourism" may heed his and the study's advice! 

There's More!! Birds on the Wires II and III

After posting about the Birds on the Wires video I found a couple more videos on Vimeo (love this service, just joined this morning and uploaded a video already) and I think you'd like to see them too!

The first  is a TED X (São Paulo) given by Jarbas Agnelli. If you don't understand Portuguese, fast forward the video do 3:30 to see an extended live version of the song performed by an ensemble:

Apresentação Jarbas Agnelli from Daniel Foka on Vimeo.


The second video is pretty recent. Victor Nunes saw the above mentioned video, decided to flip the image and got a new melody from it. I think it's really cool! Both musicians are Brazilian, obviously ;-).

Birds on the wire - Another side from hventorin on Vimeo.

Which song did you like the best?

Birds on Wires -- Perfect Song for a Sunday Morning

I promise there'll be a post of more substance later today, but I've wanted to post this for almost a year, but keep forgetting. Listen to this song, it's awesome!


Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.


This is what the composer Jarbas Agnelli had to say about it in Vimeo:

Reading a newspaper, I saw a picture of birds on the electric wires. I cut out the photo and decided to make a song, using the exact location of the birds as notes (no Photoshop edit). I knew it wasn't the most original idea in the universe. I was just curious to hear what melody the birds were creating.

I sent the music to the photographer, Paulo Pinto, who I Googled on the internet. He told his editor, who told a reporter and the story ended up as an interview in t he very same newspaper.

Here I've posted a short video made with the photo, the music and the score (composed by the birds).

 Amazing, no?

Christmas in November

Tonight we drove to MD to see our youngest nephew -- so cute! Really big, and smiley, but we didn't take ANY photos before he was put to bed. :(  K's parents are returning to Brazil in two days, so we came to say good bye too.

This evening, the grandparents went upstairs and disappeared for half an hour. When they walked down the stairs holding several gift bags and saying it was "Christmas" the boys promptly started cheering, jumping up and down and joyfully screaming!

The Christmas presents were handed out from oldest to youngest and the biggest surprise was that my  nephews got a Wii (from their four grandparents and parents). The boys were ecstatic, but they will have to wait until tomorrow to play since we're leaving to go back home tonight. Sigh. That's why I can't blog much more tonight. I know this blog has become the "boringest" blog ever this NaBloPoMo, but I haven't had time to blog properly. So... hopefully tomorrow I'll have time for a post a little better.

Safely Back Home

After exact 12 hours on the road we made it safely back home. We're always thankful to get back without the car breaking.

We're leaving again tomorrow and will probably go to MD and come back on the same day (we have to clean the house and get things ready for the week on Sunday). I think it's a crazy thing to do, but BIL's house is small for so many people and K really wants to do it. Let's see if we'll be able to get the boys away from their cousins and in the car to come back! (Linton is already complaining).

The trip was good, except that when it was time to eat dinner and we wanted to eat at Taco Bell, we had the hardest time finding one! First, we tried with the GPS, but it led us all through a small town and we couldn't find the eatery. Then, we followed a road sign, in spite of the fact it said that Taco Bell was 2.4 miles away and then... we couldn't find it again!!

The boys were almost in tears and really hungry when we finally found one right next to the highway at a service station, phew!!

Now we need to get to bed, so Good Night!

Thanksgiving at the Beach

Today we went to the beach again. It was a bit chillier and we got there a couple of hours later than yesterday, but it was nice! Quite empty as I expected (only one other family joined us later).

The boys played frisbee with K, Kelvin convinced K & I to play his new card game with him, Monopoly Deal, and the boys jumped countless waves in the sea.

I even spent the drive to the beach and a few minutes there grading (to quiet my conscience since I have a pile of grading and hadn't done any of it). The photo of me grading didn't come out so nice, so I'm not including it. ;-)

This is what it looked like before we drove home to have a Thanksgiving meal at our friends' house:

If you are in the U.S. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and/or friends. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I was feeling a bit sad this year to break a tradition that went on for eight years (well, except that last year K was away in Brazil and only arrived on Friday): getting together with my oldest brother-in-law and his family. From 2002-2004 we actually drove from 14-16 hours from MA and PA to Michigan to be with them! 

This year they had a house overflowing with guests and we had the whole week off (K & I, not the boys, but they only missed a day and a half), so we decided to come to Florida instead. We're still going to see them on Saturday (we're driving back tomorrow) because we want to see our youngest nephew who's visiting from Canada. Speaking of which, I think next year we're going to Montreal for Thanksgiving break. 

All right, I think I'm going to end up going to a couple of stores tonight. The most important thing I need to get is an airbed (12 bucks!) so we can sleep at BIL's house on Saturday. Ours has a hole in it. :(

How was your Thanksgiving(if you had one)? 

Long Time Friend

I've always had many friends, particularly after we moved from a rural place (my parents taught at a boarding academy in the Brazilian countryside and we lived there for five years) to the big city of São Paulo in 1984.

Most of my (girl) friends were my own age, or slightly older, but I had a few younger (girl) friends (i.e. my brother's age, 2+ years younger). My two best "younger friends" were in my brother's class, but we sang in a choir together and I always enjoyed spending time with them. I blogged about one of them here and the other is a friend that moved away (to Canada and later to the U.S.) back in the late 80s, so I've seen here very rarely over the years.

When we decided to come to Florida we were coming primarily to visit our closest friend in the U.S* and his family. Our last visit was in Dec. 08 and we hadn't met their son who was born last year in April. I hadn't even thought of checking to see if my long-time friend would be visiting her parents (who happen to live here) and when I met the parents last Saturday and found out she was coming from Texas I was thrilled!
*We have so many close friends that we have to create categories for them.

I hadn't seen D and her daughters since 2006 when I saw her at a wedding in Brazil, so it was awesome to be able to catch up and see her daughters all these years later (her youngest was a baby four years ago).

I know we would look way better with some make up on :) but I still like this photo a lot!

YAY for friends! Particularly pleasantly unexpected meetings like this one! Our kids played and played together and our husbands' talked lots. I hope we can find a way to meet again sometime in the future. Too bad Texas is so far away from VA. :(

I never, ever thought I'd like roller-coasters so much...

When I was a child I was always scared of moving too fast. I liked swings and would even jump off a swing, but whenever kids were playing of being swung really really high on a hammock I would get really scared, terrified, even. Note: Brazilian hammocks are really large and made of sturdy fabric and can swing pretty high if one wants them to. They're never put in a frame like the ones here in the U.S., but connected to hangers built on cement walls or between two trees.

Then, when I was about 14 we went to Playcenter, the only "theme park" in São Paulo with my family (it was a very lame park compared to its American counterparts, particularly over 20 years ago). My dad took me to their "roller coaster" (very lame too, "Super Jet" for those who knew it) and I was terrified all over again. I hated it!

Fast forward to 1993 and my trip to the U.S. with K's family (his parents and three brothers).* After visiting several parks in the Orlando area we decided to finish the trip at the Busch Gardens in Tampa. Kumba, their brand new roller coaster, had just been opened that summer. I was really intimidated and we decided to start with a smaller coaster. Scorpion or something like that. I was so scared, but went and, lo and behold, I was really surprised when I loved it! That day I rode on Kumba many times, including on the front seat and I became a true roller-coaster fan.

So today I got to experience another brand new coaster -- Manta! I took the photo below from this website that has a nice and thorough description/review of Manta.

I obviously loved it! I also rode on Kraken, their 65 mph coaster (and have to confess that I got a bit dizzy after that one), but Manta is one of a kind, given that you ride it facing down. It was amazing!

I'll have to finish here because I'm losing power & the cable is in the bedroom where the boys are sleeping. More tomorrow, then! We had a great day!

* I have to blog about this trip sometime. Every time I come to Florida I remember it so clearly! It was my first time in "the land of Uncle Sam."

False Advertisement - Sea World doesn't care (edited)

Edited to add -- this post is now moot, blogging about the problem managed to un-jinx the site! That means we'll be going. I still have mixed feelings about parks, but I know they're fun. And of course it helps if it ' doesn't hurt" one's pocket so much. ;-)


I want to come back and post some photos of our afternoon walk at the beach, but first (while I watch The Empire Strikes Back with hubby and friend -- I'm enjoying it too!) I want to express my disgust at the false advertisement in the the SeaWorld Cares campaign.

I'm not a big fan of theme parks although I really like roller-coasters and I've been to lots of parks and intend to visit more with my sons in the future (in spite of my reservations). Apart from several issues with theme parks -- I don't like Disney and I'm concerned with wild animals being kept in captivity for the enjoyment of the masses -- my main problem with parks is how much they cost and, being a thrifty person, I can't fully enjoy the parks if I'm not getting the most for what I paid. So... I generally prefer season passes or weekly passes that allow several visits. In the times when we've bought day passes in the past we've stayed for as long we possibly could and tried to see everything.

Back to our current short trip to Florida. When we visited back in 2006 for over two weeks we went to two parks only: Wet'n Wild (a water park) and Sea World and visited both relatively leisurely, since the boys were two and four and we had plenty of time. This trip is much quicker and we wanted to spend only one day somewhere special, so we were debating whether to go to the Kennedy Space Center (K's choice) or Sea World (Kelvin's choice and mine).

It turns out that Sea World has had a special promotion since April 2010, "Seaworld Cares" in which a paing adult who buys a single day admission can pay only 5 dollars for a child's admission. And the five dollars are donated to nature conservation. The problem is that when one tries to buy the promotional tickets, there is an error message in the shopping cart:

We're sorry. There is a system error preventing us from completing your request. Please try again or come back later.

Nice, huh?

I tried in different browsers. I even tried using other promotional codes, but nothing. Of course because we need to go tomorrow, it's no use complaining, trying to contact them, etc. And because the promotion seems to be online only, I don't think we can simply go there tomorrow and try to have it honored at the park.

Why can't they have an announcement in the website making it clear that the promotion is sold out, no longer available or something? Why make us feel utterly duped? I tried to google to find out whether other people have encountered the same problem, but I haven't been successful so far. Even MORE frustrating.
:(

Anyway... There are two little boys who will be very disappointed when they wake up tomorrow morning. And K and I still haven't decided where we're going...

The good thing is I've taught the boys well and I'm positive they'll understand that if we can't use the five dollars promotion, we shouldn't go anyway. ;)

May the Force Be with Me (& You :)

That's just a joke, that title...

It's just that my friend Wally has helped "initiate" me into Star Wars tonight. And he wants his name mentioned on the blog too!

Can you believe it that I'm 39 nine years old, I like to watch movies (though I've very rarely seen them in theaters), but I'd never seen any of the Star Wars films?

I have no good reason for that other than the fact that I decided to watch other things instead, but I always knew I'd watch them and, hopefully enjoy. I just finished the first one released (episode IV) and I can't wait to see the rest.

OK, I can't keep writing right now because I'm watching this "random"* film that was in my Netflix queue: Impromptu.


* not really random because I like films about literary figures. This one even has a lovely musician (ok, I don't know if he's lovely, but his music is), Chopin. Let's see how it is.

In Florida... catching up blog reading

Edited to add... this whole obligatory posting leads to empty posts like this one, but I still think NaBloPoMo is worth it/fun in spite of it.

The trip was really long and tiring, but we're here. phew!

We would have made it in 11 hours, were it not for hitting traffic in North Carolina. We were very upset about it, but there was nothing we could do. : (

I took a few naps and had to help K drive at the very end because he was nearly passing out because he was so exhausted.

OK, boring trip talk, right?

The weather is nice here (even more boring statement). My husband is upset because I'm blogging right now, so I will just post this and go back to the title activity after everyone is in bed. Addicted me.

I'll go talk to our friends, "live" a little. :-)

Incredible

It looks like for the first time ever we'll be able to leave for a trip on time -- if I can just stop blogging, finish loading the car and leave, right?

scheduled post appearing soon.

Second Wind

I thought I'd never be in the mood to get this post written...

You see, when our nicely configured trajectory "derailed" a little bit earlier this year when K decided to pursue the position in Georgia, I didn't suspect how hard it would be to go through this strange detour trip. I will blog about that later, but today I want to concentrate on the positive aspects of staying here, not on the detour.

Amidst the sadness of letting go, I told K that we'd now been given a "second wind" and that this was our chance to finally be able to enjoy life here. Easier said than done (oh boy, maybe I should have written the negative post before this one! Sigh), but yesterday I finally began to feel a nice "breeze" coming back to me.

This place is growing on me as new places usually do. It's just that some take way longer than others, like Pennsylvania ;-) and other places just seem "right" from the very beginning. Well, back in July I thought that this place here was perfect and I was literally "grieving" and lamenting the possibility of moving away from here instead of enjoying the beauty, the calm, the newness of it all. I'm a defensive pessimist, remember?

But then... I began to earnestly try to convince myself of how nice there would be, so it wouldn't be too hard to change gears if we decided to move. Things went downhill from there (subject of the other post! back to the subject at hand!).

Yesterday, however, when I was driving, I thought about the place growing on me, about how right it feels -- in spite of some struggles for me professionally (yet another post -- how many posts have I got in me? I'm crazy my friends and I still have to pack to travel) and then...

... then for whatever reason K and I began to look at houses for sale and that felt great!

So, yeah... second wind. I want to fly again, to soar above the clouds. Life was pretty miserable at times in the past three years, but now, I trust, has come the time to be at peace and, hopefully start to get comfortably settled.

How many years again have I been waiting for this?

P.S. this is a scheduled post so I don't miss posting on the day of our trip.

PS.2 I wish I could post photos of here. Maybe in facebook. ;-)

Small Accomplishment & Whirlwind Day Coming Up

I'm so thrilled that I finally finished a project that took me over two weeks to complete! I hope my parents don't read this (they probably won't), so I'll spill the beans -- I finally surrendered to photo books!

I had seen some of them before because my mother-in-law made several to document and advertise her travel agency's wonderful trips and my sister-in-law has several of their trips too (I saw them in your spare bedroom when we were there, sis! but I had already seen them online too). But I had never ordered one with photos of our family. I took advantage of one of their promotions (a free book!) and ordered a small book with some of our photos and I loved it!

So I went ahead and spent countless hours designing a book for my dad which came out really nice (although it was very expensive -- I ordered the 12 X 12 book). Thankfully, we joined Costco last week, so I was able to make another book (this time for mom's 70th birthday) and it cost much less. I just ordered it and now I'm just hoping it's ready before next Friday (or next Monday) so my sister-in-law can take it to Brazil with her on the 30th.

I'm so happy that this is finally done that I had to come and blog about it even though I have a test to prepare (my students are taking it at 5 pm).

Oh, and what about the whirlwind? We have finally decided on the details of our upcoming trip to Florida!! We're driving one of our super-old cars instead of renting one (we figured we'd spend the $ from the rental in new tires for the mini-van) and we're leaving tomorrow, even though K teaches until 11 am and we know we won't get to our friends' house (thankfully in Northeast Florida) until way after midnight.

It will be exhausting! And the most exhausting for me will be preparing everything in less than 24 hours... I'm not looking forward to the crazy whirlwind of activities that that will require. I don't know how much sleep I'll get tonight. Now K NEEDS to sleep or we won't be able to get to FL tomorrow. We'll take turns driving, but it's best if one of us is well rested.

OK, gotta go now get that show on the road. Wait! It's not a show, just a boring old test. I decided to give them tests before the break because when we're back they might have already forgotten what we just learned. ;-)

They Are Just TOO Happy!

I was going to blog about something entirely different,* but K's comment about the boys just a few minutes ago was too fun not to quote and discuss.

He's having a hard time to put the boys to bed tonight (in fact they're looking for books to read right now) because they are just way too happy! Everything is funny, everything, even taking one's clothes off is reason for playing a game (such as getting it into the hamper, basketball throw style), they are just the bubbliest, chattiest boys on earth almost all the time. Bless their hearts.

Oftentimes during dinner K and are "forced" to burst into uncontrollable laughter (especially K who -- together with his mom -- always has these never ending fits of laughter) because of things that Kelvin says or does. The boys are obsessed with arithmetic right now and spend lots of time quizzing each other, "How much is 200 minus 100? How much is 3 times 2? etc." The good thing is that they won't have any trouble learning their multiplication tables, the bad thing is that sometimes it gets a bit tiresome. :)

Tonight they were fascinated by the dark and wanted to turn all lights off after dinner. Then they went exploring and made lots of noise as K and I sat in the living room (I had the laptop, which was lighting the room a bit, for Kelvin's chagrin). Their on and off obsession with trains continues and this week they have the upstairs covered in a complex railroad. In fact, Linton keeps begging for a basement where they can have room to play trains and store all their toys that are in the garage right now, most out of reach.

The truth is, that essay I wrote about exaggerates the negative side of parenting a bit. It IS exhausting, but it is also fun most of the time.

I wish I could be better at writing down the things the boys say as I used to do when they were learning to speak (I wrote down their new words until their reached 200 -- they were not yet 24 months old when that happened), but the truth is that this blog is much more about me, the mama, than about them, my sons. Early on it was because I had to translate the things they said into English and that wasn't fun, so I just didn't record them here. Later, I didn't do it because it hadn't become a habit or a regular feature of the blog to write about the boys. Maybe I'll try to be better about this so I can share some fun conversations with you once in a while.

Well, I'm glad I wrote this post instead of the other one. The paragraph below is enough, too much, even.

* Here, I'll give it to you in a few sentences. If new asthma medication and eye-patch worries were not enough, I have had to wear my glasses for the past two days because with the contacts my vision is blurry in my right eye. I think I have this problem and I'm really upset about it. I will go to the doctor at some point although I have by now realized that the only thing I go to a doctor for is to have my self-diagnosis confirmed and a prescription written (if needed -- no prescription for IBS was needed, just the confirmation of what I already knew after a colonoscopy). So, yeah... I hope it's not that, but it could most certainly be, given that the virus that I already have expanded from the lips to inside my nostrils too -- sorry, TMI, I know! Why not the eye(s)?

Medicated

I hope to be able to write about this more thoughtfully later, but now I'm trying to deliver my daily post already a bit late.

The visit to the ophthalmologist was not the only major doctor's visit last week. We also took the boys to the allergist. We've taken them to two specialists and they don't even have a primary care provider! I guess that's an advantage of a "better" health care plan, but I digress...

I'm not to thrilled to report that they are taking a new medication (an inhaled steroid) to help control their asthma. I know that we need to treat their condition (even though the symptoms are not severe at all, particularly in Kelvin). Oh, and irony of ironies!, the drug company is K's former employer. BLAH! I don't like to think about that time in our lives, I guess I haven't yet healed completely or if I ever will.

I don't like to think too much that we're pumping our boys' bodies with chemicals... it's just too sad. And it's also depressing to think that all doctors do nowadays is to fill prescriptions, right and left. It's a tangled lucrative web this is. It doesn't help one bit to have a bit of an insider's glimpse into it.

OK, time for bed. I have the cards, but now I'm working to try to get a photo book done before next week. Sigh.

P.S. Thanks for your lovely comments to my "blogiversary" post! I'm thrilled to know that you're still out there reading. More on that later...

I'm a Blissful, Confessed Addict

And it's not to blogging, though that is my confessed addiction of choice.

According to this great Slate essay, I'm totally addicted to parenting!!
(thanks for the link, Laura! Gotta love your post's title Kiss Junkies!)

According to Shankar Vendantam "Parents Are Junkies" because "If parenting sucks, why do we love it?" There can be only one explanation: "we're addicted" and I couldn't agree more. One of the most important arguments used is that even after we have one child and we know how tough it is, we generally have more!

I am again going through a phase that I keep on saying over and over again that I want(ed) a baby. I know!! Wasn't I over that ages ago already? Shouldn't I be reading and re-reading my journals from Kelvin's infancy to help me realize my insanity? No, we aren't going to have more babies, K won't let me and thankfully my age is a huge deterrent, but... this explanation about addiction makes perfect sense to me right now.

Vendantam writes that lots of recent research has demonstrated that "becoming a parent does not make people happier; it makes them unhappier." However, "Research may depict parenthood as a bile-inducing, rage-fueling, stress-producing ordeal, but parents tell us that becoming parents is the best thing they ever did."  That's totally absolutely how I feel!! I have this overwhelming conviction that becoming a mother was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me.


Then, you look at photos of K and I before the boys came along -- we look so much younger! K's hair was nice and black -- now it is entirely salt & pepper in his temples. I like his looks, but there's no denying that we visibly and quickly aged after becoming parents. And yet, we love it. Not every minute (not even Every Other Minute as Andi Buchanan said in the title of her book Mother Shock), maybe we don't love it most minutes, but Vendantam is absolutely right in her evaluation here:

Parenting is a series of intensely high highs, followed by long periods of frustration and stress, during which you go to great lengths to find your way back to that sofa and that kiss. 

We have a name for people who pursue rare moments of bliss at the expense of their wallets and their social and professional relationships: addicts.

Children regularly give parents the kind of highs that only narcotics can rival. The unpredictability of those moments of bliss is an important factor in their addictiveness.

So, yeah... We're Kiss Junkies all right.  And I do my best to improve my odds of getting my fix every day or several times a day ("Like addicts, parents will sacrifice anything for the glimpses of heaven that their offspring periodically provide.").

Ah... that explains the life-long withdrawal symptoms that parents experience. My poor mom broken-hearted that I don't go back to live in Brazil.

Yeah... we parents are sad, hopeless specimens of humanity... I'm not looking forward to my lifelong quest towards a "recovery" that will never come. :(

I guess you can go cross out "blissful" from the title now. I'm officially grieving my dark future.

Super-Ultra-Efficient

I still can't believe it's true, but I just ordered our holiday cards and will be picking them up at Costco tomorrow.
This is the most efficient I've been about holiday planning in my life. (Can't you see my grin? :)

We just joined Costco, having been faithful BJ's customers for years, but now it's our best option. And we're loving it. The produce section is really great (if you don't mind non-local stuff, that is). You see, I love, love, love our farmer's market and eating as locally as possible, but I'm sorry, I really need to eat fresh fruits and vegetables year round. We're seriously considering slowly transitioning into a vegan diet, so we'll need even more of the colorful and green stuff.

Note to self: I need to sign up for a CSA for next year!!!

Anyway... I've also found great presents for the boys at Costco (books! more about them later in the season). This year it's going to be all books all the time for everyone!

I'm going to wrap up, but this wasn't mean to be today's post. Maybe I'll post one of the other ones (a linky post to a Slate article), but the other will have to come later (a more or less whiny post about health).

So, yeah... I'm really happy with my efficiency right now. :)