NO!! ?? !!

I can hardly breathe (I had originally written "brief" -- I suppose I can hardly think or type as well, blah).

After days and days of checking my university email to find whether there was by any chance a "rejection note" from that job I'd applied to and interviewed for, I quickly check my personal account a minute ago and find an email about my "appointment" to the position, requesting I sign something for my background check.

WHA?????

I can't even go back and read the email. What to do?? I have to teach at least two classes here in the Fall because I don't want to lose my position here -- what if the other one doesn't work out in the end (even though it's a full time lectureship). How to approach my department chair? WHEN to talk to her, given that I have surgery tomorrow and an appointment the next day?

Well, I'll hit publish and call K, it's all I can do.

And I will HAVE to go talk to these people (this department) on Friday after my appointment, that's for sure. I might as well, since my doctor is there.

Sigh.

What will I do? Lack of peace AGAIN. :(