... the loss of a job and of many dreams for our lives in this house, maybe in this country.
Is there a more awful way to start a month of intense blogging?
But that's how it goes. This will probably be a very eventful month if not a happy one.
Thanks for your support expressed in the comments to the previous post. It moves me more than you can imagine to see that you're even asking if there's something you can do to help. Just having you as readers and friends helps a great deal, that's for sure.
I'm in a hurry for reasons that I'll disclose in the next post (yeah, I'm starting with two posts a day, hopefully I'll be able to keep up with at least one in the following ones), but I just want to make a quick list of things that we've been grieving for as the unthinkable news sink in:
- what am I going to do with all the bulbs that I purchased? Can I return them to the store? They'd just make me sad next Spring because I'd know I'd never see them again.
- what about my dream of having a garden, planting things, particularly perennials? I carried a few perennial potted plants from the previous house to this one and I guess I'll have no choice but plant them here.
- what a bout the dreams of the boys growing up in this house and enjoying the yard, the playhouse, the swingset?
- when are we going to settle down? K was saying that he now has a feeling it's never gonna happen.
- why? why did K get his job in the first place?
- where do we want to live? We don't want really, all we want is to stay here, with K in this job...
These questions and so many more percolate through our brains over and over again. And I guess they'll become more intense before they go away.
More later.
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6 comments:
Lilian
I am so sorry. Really, if there is anything I can do, please let me know. Sending out lots of good juju and well wishes that things will come about and you will find a good solution.
I can't believe all the stress you're going through right now. I'm so sorry that y'all are faced with these multiple problems right now. Wish we could be there to help more, but let us know if there's anything we can do from here. Hey, realestate is cheap in Texas. :-)
Don't assume you have to go, if you want to stay. There may be a way, and thankfully you have a while to figure it out if there is one. You can make your plans to leave in May, but call it plan B. Plan A is to find one of you work right where you are!
Or maybe you can inherit a million dollars from a formerly unknown rich uncle. ;)
I would plant the bulbs anyway. If you have to leave, they will make the house look great and more desirable. If you stay, you'll be glad you did.
Oh no, Lilian, what a shock, and so soon after the whole situation with your parents. I am impressed by your positive attitude, though of course the fears and regrets and worries must come through also. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that jobs are on the horizon. Keep us updated, and take care.
I am so so very sorry. I say plant those bulbs anyway--keep on going as you planned and see what happens. Sometimes wonderful things grow in the place of disappointment.
I'll be thinking of you...
I'm with RocketMom and Aliki2006, plant the bulbs. See, the first rule of life is drive or navigate. Never, ever, ever take the backseat in your own life. Defy circumstance.
The bulbs are a metaphor for the life you are planting. And if you leave, you'll always know the bulbs grow and increase as your hopes and dreams.
You will settle, at least as much as your desires. It doesn't really much matter where you are, as long as the journey is yours.
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