Epic Wedding Shower!

I can't resist, I have to post these photos! 

Many of them are a bit blurry because there wasn't enough light to photograph without flash. :(
I edited them and cropped some (a first for me! I never take the time to edit, but I'm learning).

I was only responsible for the drinks, my passion fruit mousse, and helping set things up (thankfully, because I was up most of the night on Saturday with my husband who was making a movie for the shower on iMovie). And I also gave suggestions to the bride's mother which helped her plan some of the decorations. This shower was a group effort, although the bride's mom made most of the decorations and the food. Oh, and I made prints of the couple's photos and put them in picture frames from my house, and prepared a banner (inspired by this one) with the bride & groom's names, but didn't take any good photos of it.

The "Lovebirds" ;-)

aren't they adorable? :-)

 

The drinks 

(plain water/seltzer water with fruit and punch made with Hagen Daz sorbet)

 

 

 

An overview:

 Decorations:

 The Food! (mostly Romanian)

 The Desserts: 

(my passion fruit mousse* is in the tiny cups)

 

 The Gift table:

 

Wasn't it a lovely shower? :)

* I make it using frozen passion fruit pulp by Goya, if anyone is wondering, blended (in a blender, obviously) with condensed milk and "La Crema" heavy cream.

Busy: Cooking, Teaching, Writing, Presenting, Helping

Yeah, I've been crazy busy.

Last weekend (Saturday night & Sunday) I cooked TONS of food and drove to U#2 with all that food to perform my "semesterly" ritual of feeding my students Brazilian food. It was tiresome as usual and with some drawbacks such as much lower turnout of students than in previous semesters and uncomfortable feelings because I was busy cooking and cleaning while my colleague was having a good time and talking to the students. I think this is all I'm going to say about that... sigh!

It was lovely to go to my friends' new house for the first time and sleep there, I wish I hadn't gotten there so early, but it was for a good cause (little home improvement project, I'll share at another time! :-)

Then, there was the regular teaching, with a departmental conference added in for "good measure" (ha ha ;-).  Old-timers here will know that I just love conferences, though, and I've been organizing a panel with students every year  for this particular one (except last Spring because I didn't have many students at U#1). This year's panel was just fantastic! I had a former student (who's finishing his master's and will go on to Duke to do his phd in Brazilian history!!) and three current students who spoke about various fascinating topics related to Brazil (don't want to share or else you can google and possibly find me ;-).

I wrote my paper on the fly, downloading (through Google reader for the first time ever) 15 articles on Wednesday night then writing the paper all day on Thursday, including during this poetry panel I participated in at the conference. ;-) I was done for our panel, though, and the paper came together pretty nicely in the end! Phew!

OK, now on to helping, my favorite activity, something nearly innate in me, a trait I "inherited" from my parents and took to even greater lengths (particularly in the cooking department). I spent quite a bit of time this past month helping organize these friends' wedding shower and it'll be tomorrow afternoon. Last night I started making them a banner that looks a bit like this (slightly different colors -- added yellow) and I just finished now! I am responsible for the drinks and I'll make Brazilian passion fruit mousse, but I mostly have to help the bride's mother to decorate the venue.

When it rains, it pours, so tonight we have another shower, a baby shower this time, involving some of the same friends, but I 'm not helping with this one. I'm just really upset that the book I ordered wasn't delivered on time because for whatever strange reason, Amazon isn't selling it (it's Dr. Sears' Baby Book) and I had to order from someone else that didn't offer prime. I paid double for express shipping, but it didn't work out. :(

OK, gotta go pack that present and find out whether I have a ride for tonight or whether I have to drive there by myself!

24 Years Ago TODAY!!

I met my husband for the first time at a bus stop in the "Francisco Morato" Avenue in São Paulo (city). My friend was asking me this evening how I'd met my husband and, so I remembered that today was our "anniversary" of meeting each other!

YIKES, years ago when I first blogged about this only 16 years had passed so I feel really really old (and an "ancient" blogger).  

I love to remember and cherish this day, it was truly the a day that changed my life forever! I like to say that my sons' births were the most amazing things that ever happened to me, but they wouldn't have taken place if I hadn't met K, so our meeting is even more important!

I am away from home tonight (I cooked dinner for my students), so I've only spent part of this day with him (working feverishly to finish cooking the meal). I'm glad I remembered to blog about it, though!

Remember Slavery & the Transatlantic Slave Trade

Today is UNESCO's "International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade."

The very first class I took in graduate school was a class (taught only this once, back in 1998!!) on Slavery in Brazil, so this topic has remained of great interest to me and my two publications are related to it. You may not know this, but over 90% of all Africans brought to the Americas during the period of the slave trade were taken to the Caribbean and South America and around 60% were taken to Brazil. Brazil was also the last country in the Western Hemisphere to end slavery (1888).

An amazing resource is the The Transatlantic Slave Trade Voyages Database, especially its Introductory Maps! This is the first one, but you should check the others:

I hope to continue producing more scholarship related to this topic as well as raising awareness of it's connection to Brazilian history and culture in my classes!

Writing is what I do

I was thirteen when I first felt the urge to write what I felt (one night I simply had to get up from my bed, grab a pen and a notebook and write!). From then on, I never stopped.

Journal entries, countless poems, reflections that could have become essays, parodies, and (very rarely) ideas for a play. Never fiction (only with prompts in writing class in high school).

Studying literature almost killed all my writing, except for journaling. I did write a few more poems, even translated and "published" them in several volumes of an yearly journal from our department's undergraduate majors.

Then I started blogging, and wrote a 500 page dissertation, and continued blogging.

Published 2 academic articles (one of which I translated into Portuguese and which was published -- last year -- in a super prestigious literary journal in Brazil), did not publish an essay in this book (it's ok, it would have "blown my cover" -- ha ha, unknown little blogger that I am!)... and I keep on blogging. (even if it's not a conversation anymore, it's one only if you're really well known)

Why am I writing all this?

Because I love writing, in spite of the fact that I don't really do it well enough -- that's why (in addition to not having time) I never really got involved with Literary Mama, though I know several of the founders virtually and in person and I think it's a great site.

Not good enough.

But I don't care. I write for myself here and I write... tons of emails to my students, to friends and family. I write long comments on blog posts by my friends and also on status updates on facebook.
I can just write and write.

I write.

Because words matter.

I'm actually writing this because I'm helping organize a wedding shower. Helping is what I do even more than writing. Much more because it's more important. Being there for people is more important than anything. That's why, deep down, I truly don't care for an all-consuming academic career (though I do wish I could do research). Because I need time for people.

So, I'm helping organize this wedding shower as much as I can with my busy schedule. The bride and groom are close friends and today the bride emailed me (even though, poor thing, she's so incredibly busy in medical school). She wanted my help to write the Evite message from the wedding shower host (technically her mom, in practice us, her friends, in addition to her mom) and that's what she wrote at the end of her cute email:

p.s. I'm asking you L... because i know you can write :) well.

That really moved me and made me happy. "Writing is what I do" was my first thought. And yes, I'd like to think I write well, even though by some standards I really don't (and you write way better than me, J! And you too, Heidi! Not to mention my SIL who's an awesome writer, and writing teacher!). Unfortunately I don't have a gift for editing and rewriting and reworking. Maybe it's the ADHD, or the oversensitivity and thin skin. So I don't think I will ever publish anything, really. I probably "don't have what it takes" (but it doesn't matter, because I can help and love people and be there for them!).

After I wrote and sent the little "blurb" to my friend she replied with "you are simply awesome." And if that's what awesome means: being there for people, doing what I can to help (especially if it involves writing, or photography, or cooking, or anything, really), yes, I am. Thank you very much. I just hope I can keep it up. Forever.


P.S. it is really hard to hit publish because I'm keenly aware that this could be a much better post with much editing, but I just don't have the time. And I don't want this in my draft folder... oh well! And since I'm writing this p.s. I have to mention that I (again!) accidentally published a post that was still a draft (about needs & wants) and I hope to finish and publish it for real soon, OK? Sorry!

"The institution of the faculty wife is alive and well in academic culture. She's an adjunct."

Ha! I should have a new blog called "The New Faculty Wife," shouldn't I?

NAH... are you kidding me?

In fact, that line is so painful to read that it just had to become a blog post title.

(well, it is still painful, even after I read the really, really [irritatingly] upbeat article that the pseudonymous "Marie Smith" wrote yesterday FIVE years ago for the Chronicle, but which someone tweeted this week, so I read it, unaware it was so old ;-). Her strife to write a "resentment-free" essay paid off, but her anonymity makes it clear that it's an unpleasant situation to be in. Sigh...)

~    ~    ~    ~
I remember the day I met my office mate as if it were yesterday. I also met another "faculty wife" right then, but we never saw each other again. I wonder if that bright German young lady is still around... (I'll answer this question at the end!)

Anyway, I met E at the end of the orientation program at U#1 and we had just come out of a very depressing session for "part-time faculty." We were right outside the building, sitting on the steps and talking, commiserating about our lame "part-time" jobs. P, the German young woman sitting next to us, sounded pretty rebellious and I jokingly said we should begin an association of adjuncts -- I should have probably said "adjunct wives!" (I didn't know back then that there were no unions here).

E, my current office mate at U#2, had just moved to the U.S. from Spain because she'd gotten married to a TT professor at U#1 (he'd been there for several years). P, the German girl, hadn't been married long as well and her husband -- like mine -- had just started his TT job at U#1. The main difference was that P had a degree in the same area as her husband so she would be teaching in the same department.

Back to E, though... She was an adjunct for two years at both U#1 and U#2 and in the second year she was actually also full-time at U#3 -- a one year appointment to replace someone who had taken a leave of absence which wasn't renewed.

On the year I started at U#2 she also applied for a full-time lecturer position there and we started together (that's why I asked to share an office with her, it was nice because we already knew each other).

Last year the department decided to give E and two other lecturers (including the current chair's spouse) three-year contracts which came with a 14K pay raise!

I teach the "wrong" language, though, so, as you already know, I am risking going back to part-time next semester. The "perfect time" to learn, after looking for her in the university website, that P, the young German woman is actually a "visiting assistant professor" right now -- the perks of being on the same discipline as one's husband!!*

In any case, I don't know if P will ever become tt faculty and I know that E doesn't want it at all, she's happy to continue as a lecturer.

Right now, I will be "over the moon" if only I can remain a full-time lecturer because that sounds the tiniest bit better than simply "adjunct!" Wish me luck!

* My husband's department has not one, but TWO faculty couples in which one was a tenure-track professor and the other one ended up entering the TT later after being full-time non tt faculty for a while. Interestingly, both couples are from Romania!

The End of an Era & Saying Good-Bye

Yesterday afternoon, after a busy weekend with tons of driving, we said good-bye to my brother-in-law ("K2") and his family by having a late lunch at K's family's favorite chain restaurant, Olive Garden.

Then we drove home in the snow while they drove to the airport where the snow didn't hold them back and they flew to Turkey then Egypt (we're hoping they arrived safely because we haven't heard from them yet!).

For almost exactly ten years we lived only a couple of hours away from them and we got together as often as we possibly could because we wanted our sons to grow up being very close. When they moved from Michigan their eldest boy was only five months old and our youngest nine months old, so these cousins practically grew up as brothers and they consider each other as best friends. Then they had another boy less than two years later and our four sons spent lots of time playing together whenever we visited each other.

That's why we were all so sad when we found out they would be moving across the world. And now we don't know if our boys will ever live close together like this again (they do plan to send the boys to study at the boarding academy close to us, but that's still many years in the future). It's definitely the "end of an era," one of those life changes that we need to accept and move on. That's why we didn't cry -- we need to approach this 100% rationally and see the positive sides even though it's hard and we know we'll grieve their departure and miss them like crazy.

In January they'll be back from a few days and we're already planning what we'll do together (in spite of the fact that our sons will be in school already). Now every vacation will revolve around their visits and getting the boys to see their cousins. Something tells me it will become harder and harder to plan spending time with friends who live far away (e.g. in Brazil). Sigh... this is part of life too.

Let's hope they will soon have internet access so we can be in touch -- the world is so much "smaller" now that we have the web, right? One more thing to be thankful for.

Leaving the Major Carriers!!

Almost precisely ten years after going wireless we're delighted to finally be able to ditch the major wireless carriers!! 

Since 2004 we've used Verizon, T-Mobile and, more recently, Sprint, and now we're going to be using Ting! Three days ago they started accepting the iPhone 5 and we immediately switched!

Apple fanatic "iKelvin" won't be able to have an iPhone, but he's happy to have bought a Samsung S4 Mini (hey, Jen, you win!!) and can hardly wait until it gets here.

My phone hasn't been switched yet, but it should be by the end of the day. The early termination fee will be LESS than our monthly payment and we hope to save quite a bit of money!

OK, we're almost at the ski place and this geeky family is playing with remembering what these acronyms stand for: PDF, NASA, LED, LASER :-) Do you know? 

Twelve! (03/09/14)

Kelvin turned twelve on Sunday and when I told him today that I hadn't had time to blog about his birthday he let out a whining sound (bless his heart!). So I have to rectify this situation, no matter how late I go to bed!

Unlike his younger brother who doesn't much like to be blogged about, Kelvin enjoys it when I write about him. He even has a blog, but he doesn't update it. We want to wait one more year so he can use google products without fear of being shut down after the pretty sad loss of his email account a couple of years ago (to make a long story short & not to have to look for the link, he was invited to join Google+, tried to register & when he had to enter his birthdate his main email account [he has three or four like me] was deleted! It could only be recovered if we lied about his age, which we didn't want to do... sigh...)

Before I talk about his day, let me just share his favorite recent photo (above) and say a few words about my handsome "tween" boy! When I posted these photos to facebook a friend asked me if he had already began to act surly like a typical teenager and I think that the photos speak for themselves a bit. He's got plenty of "attitude" already, but I know it may get much worse.

One thing is certain, my son really cares about his appearance now! After his latest haircut in Brazil (finally someone got it right! Too bad I ruined it just slightly by cutting his hair a bit a couple of weeks ago [no photos from "after," just before in this post]), I've been helping him to blow dry his hair and, once in a while, he wants me to use the straightening iron. (I will delete this info if he tells me to! ;-) Isn't he the cutest thing, though? I love it that he still wants to spend so much time with me and wants hugs and kisses. I won't ever take that for granted because I know that for a period it will be very different!

He's maturing and growing every day and... he's getting a phone next week which has been his greatest dream for a while now! I could go on and on about my "baby," but I need to get some sleep! ;-)

His birthday celebration was great, but bittersweet: skiing with all the men in the family who were here! With his dad, his two uncles and three cousins (including the 3.5 year old!). The women didn't go (though I did want to). D (K2's wife) stayed home to study Arabic and I went shopping with M, K4's wife, who is pregnant and needed to buy things for the baby. She's having another boy, the 7th grandson!

Kelvin was looking forward to snowboarding with his uncles, especially with "K2" who had seen him  try to snowboard over a month ago when he had just started learning and who could really appreciate how much he had improved. All the boys enjoyed themselves very much and I was glad that in their excitement with the novelty of spending several hours together on the ski slopes and (especially) the terrain park, they didn't stop to consider that this is one of their last times together until January next year. Here are the cousins together for one last time until probably Dec. 2015

-- we were missing only two who are in Brazil :(

Well, here's the post, Kelvin! Now I need to write another one about your present! But that will have to be at another time.

The Lamest Spring Break Ever

I'm mildly depressed at our most boring and "sad" (well, it will end really sadly, more on that later) Spring Break ever.

OK, last year was WORSE because the two universities' Spring breaks didn't even coincide, this year at least K & I are off on the same week. Sigh...

The original plan (from when we we excitedly found out our breaks matched) was to drive down to Florida for a week, glorious! Later K decided against it, though, so the boys wouldn't miss more school (they missed several days because of our trip to Brazil). So sad!

Then, K's younger brother ("K4") was planning to visit from Montreal and when we realized that it would be one of K3 & family's last weekends before their move we organized our last "half-family reunion" (and birthday celebration for my eldest son). This was last weekend (and I'll try to blog more about my son's birthday celebration later).

The rest of the week has been relatively uneventful... On Monday I cleaned the house and made Oreo-vanilla ice-cream "cake" & took it to my school to the delight of all 6th grades while my husband went to his office & lab. Then I took the boys for piano lesson.

On Tuesday I took a whole-morning nap!!! (Too bad I had weird nightmares...) and spent some time outside with my youngest son. I also did more cleaning. K had to spend the whole morning judging a science fair at the university (he regretted having volunteered during Spiring Break!) and then he had to go to a meeting at the Brazilian Embassy in DC. And I had to get the boys to bed by myself... :-(

Yesterday I spent most of the day at my sons' school - I made more Oreo ice-cream "cake" for the 6th grade teacher since he'd loved it! I also sent emails and talked to people planning both a wedding shower and the farewell party for the elementary school principal who is leaving with his family...

Today I "dragged" my poor husband to an outlet store because he badly needed shoes and we also wanted to check skiing/snowboarding clothes and we were successful.

The plan for tomorrow is to have the boys miss school so we can go skiing/snowboarding for he last time his season. I actually wanted to drive to the coast to do some sightseeing, but I prefers to stay home.

On Saturday night we have a birthday party to attend in a city 2h away (we may travel there tomorrow night) and on Sunday we want to have lunch with my brother-in-law's family before they go to the airport to move away to Egypt. :-(

So the break will probably end in a very sad note and we'll be grieving the "end of an era" of family geographical closeness for a while. I also hope to write more about this, but in case it doesn't happen, it's registered here.

Yeah, apart from last year's unfortunate mixed up schedules, this is certainly one of the lamest spring breaks we've had!

Productive (and Freezing!) Snow Day

In our first snow-day this year, back on January 21st, we were super, mega productive! I did four loads of laundry and cooked and probably cleaned the house.

That was not the case with the 2nd & 3rd days, Feb. 13-14 (technically no snow days for the school as I explained yesterday). I don't even remember what I did, but I know it involved lots of being cozy in bed and taking naps! :) Only on Friday I think I cooked and cleaned some.

Today K got up determined to be productive! :) We first woke up at 7:40 so I could go online to find out whether U#2 was cancelled (U#1 texted us about it, so we knew as soon as we looked at our phones) and once I found out classes were cancelled, I went back to sleep for a little bit longer. K got up and started on his productivity quests, but the boys jumped into our bed around 8 and I napped and didn't get up until close to 9.

By then K had made breakfast and immediately started cleaning out his bedside table and drawer and the dressers in our bedroom, so I had no choice and began to clean too. I also loaded the dishwasher and washed most of the other dishes in the sink. It took me forever (ADHD makes all "tidying up" very challenging), but I finally cleaned my bedside table and the floor next to my bed.

I only did one load of laundry -- late in the day (and I forgot about it for a couple of hours, so it's drying only now! ;-), but I cleaned out my sons' closet and separated three full bags of their outgrown clothes to donate to friends.

I should have worked more (I have several piles of grading waiting for me), but I mostly just sent various necessary emails and announcements to my students. I'm going to try to work a bit more on the grading before I head to bed, but I'm already yawning. :)

K and youngest son shoveled the driveway and went sledding in the backyard, but Kelvin chose to read on his ipad after he'd cleaned his bedroom, studied piano and put dishes away in the kitchen. So my husband asked him to shovel  the deck and he worked on it for a while until it was getting dark.

It was SOOOO cold outside that I was truly happy to remain indoor and drink cups upon cups of hot tea. K had already taken the cars out of the garage (after cleaning the driveway) when he checked the forecast for tonight (temperatures are supposed to go down to 7 degrees!) and decided to bring the cars back in. I helped getting the cats inside and cleaning the cat litter so we could put the trash in the curb (collection is tomorrow) -- the garage door was open and I almost froze while cleaning. I shiver just thinking about how cold it was/is out there!

Last, but not least, we had "breakfast for dinner" -- yummy vegan pancakes!

P.S. I really enjoyed watching the Oscars last night. I've been watching for years. In high school when I still lived in Brazil I'd stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning to watch until the end! (it used to be 3h difference, but right now it's 2 and next week it'll be only 1 hour forward there).

Murmuration -- for my friend Heidi!

On January 31st, Heather (Dooce) posted a link to this amazing video and when I watched it I immediately thought of my friend Heidi who had posted some photos of a multitude of starlings in her beautiful blog Ladders of Mercy last year in January. (I'm sorry it took me so long to write this post!) And infinitely sorrier that she had to move away... :(

Did you know they were called Murmuration?


Murmuration from Islands & Rivers on Vimeo.

Prepared

More snow is coming our way and we're prepared! The extent of the preparation consists of driving the cars into the garage (after bringing the cats inside the house so they won't run out into the cold and wet evening)...

I don't mind more snow, especially if it means one less day of driving 152 miles for me! I'm just worried that classes at the university won't be canceled until the last minute, but even with that risk and that stress, I didn't want to drive tonight to my friends' house and be stranded all day there tomorrow. I really want to be home spending more time with my family.

The boys haven't had that many snow days, so we've thoroughly enjoyed each one we've had -- one in December, the others in the past two months. Technically, they had a total of three (and five in practice) because in one of the snow days school was cancelled anyway for another reason [teacher in-service]-- how lucky of the school! -- and they also had another day in which they logged in snow-related activities at home to count as a school day. It looks like the school wants to do that tomorrow again, we'll see.

So I couldn't be happier and more relaxed. Ready to email my students about an assignment they can do instead of having class tomorrow and ready to grade as I watch the Oscars. YAY!

Growing up

My sons are growing up so fast! :-(

(I know, this statement is a total cliche for every parent, but oh, so true.)

Especially the eldest (the one whose 12th birthday is in 8 days). He asks me hard questions sometimes ("What does OCD stand for?" And after the explanation, "Am I OCD?").

This week, for the first time I can remember,* he reacted pretty strongly to my job-related stress and asked a lot of hard questions which I didn't have enough time to answer (but hope to do it over time).

* The boys seemed pretty oblivious to all the stress and upheaval back in 2007 when K lost his Big Pharma job and in "The Big Depression" 2009 when we worried about losing the house. But they were much younger then.

Then, as I was tucking him into bed that night, I found out that he actually had felt some of the effects of the upheaval from 2008 and 2009 that resulted in our move here more keenly than I realized. He asked me: "Why did dad have to leave the Big Pharma job?" "Why did we have to move from PA, I loved that house!!" (Me too honey, me too, sniff -- particularly after the transformation - before & after photos worth checking ;-)

Hard to answer!! If you're a longtime reader you'll know that K decided to walk away from the industry job to go back to Academia -- how to explain that to a 12 year old in a way he can understand and without boring him to tears about the job market, etc?

Some of this week's questions: "What do you mean you may not have your job anymore?" "Won't you ever go to _that town_ anymore?" "Why won't you be full time anymore?"

These made me want to be more careful about my own reactions and how much I share with the boys. I've always been really honest with my sons and I'm basically an "open book" kind of person (it's hard for me not to show my emotions), but I don't want to cause them more stress than necessary for a situation that's still uncertain and that may even be resolved. Sigh...

Then, this afternoon, when K put some music to play in the living room Kelvin said: "I don't want to listen to that, it reminds me too much of Philadelphia." :-(

And as sad as I feel about my nostalgic son (because he really enjoys nostalgic conversations and memories) missing our old house, I feel relief that we decided not to move again from here to Georgia soon after we'd moved here, even though K walked away from over half a million dollars of start-up money. Family is more important than money and a more prestigious (and stressful!) academic position and I think where we are now is a better place for the boys to grow up. Way better than that town North of Philadelphia, the spacious renovated house notwithstanding!

Conclusion
I was going to end there, but as I was writing the post I remembered that back in 2005 when this blog was only a few months and posts old, I blogged about a day when Kelvin asked tons of hard questions and I'd even updated the post in 2007 with photos I took as we were having those difficult conversations. I just re-read the post and was amazed to find he had actually asked these questions:
"Are we going to live in this house forever?" "Why not?' "I like to live here!" That's my boy! He's one of those kids who was born with an "old soul," as they say, such a serious little man at three years old!! And blogging is amazing because I can remember that moment so well nine years later!

"Com emoção" (with "emotion" = thrills)

Brazilians or people who have visited Brazil and gone to visit some of its large sand dunes in the Northeast (either in Fortaleza, Natal or Maranhão) will know what I'm talking about here... (the photos below -- credit given -- are from the Genipabu Dunes [google image photos] in Natal).

Image taken from this tourism site (not on that page, though, can't find it).

When you pay for a buggy ride in the dunes, you can choose between a ride "with emotion [thrills]" or without. Here's what part of a thrill ride may look like:

Image taken from this article in a Natal hotels website  

that talks about the two kinds of buggy dune rides

All of this to say that when I was telling my husband on Monday about this metaphor that I've been using on my blog for many years (that our lives are like a roller coaster), he simply replied...

"Yeah, it's because we like it with thrills! [com emoção] It would be boring other wise!"

Oh well, what can I say to that? All I can say is that we've certainly been able to "enjoy" our ride, its ups and the downs, even though some of the downs have been really hard -- like back in 2009 putting the house on the market under financial pressure and worrying about losing it, and in 20089-10, regretting K's decision to leave big pharma and go back to academia with a 60% pay-cut and a high mortgage to pay.

Because everything has come back around, we know this is really nothing compared to what we've faced in the past (and we also have our faith to sustain us -- this is a main thing, actually, not an "and also" in our lives, I just don't blog much about it).

All of this to say that on Monday K found out that one more of the grants he had applied to for summer funding (people in science need grants so they can continue doing research with their students in the summer) had been denied. Such "good timing" in finding this out, right? No summer salary for him will definitely strain our finances.

Now... you may remember that he applied to a HUGE, "dream" NSF career grant last year and the likelihood of him getting that is really, REALLY slim. But he hasn't heard back yet, so we can have a glimmer of hope, no? I'll let you know first thing when he finds out.

Let's keep the suspense, emotion and "thrill" going in this blog, shall we?

So I hope this is the last time I'll mention my job troubles for a while here. I've done all I could do at U#2 and now I wait, maybe for months... I'll keep you posted.

Good thing I didn't blog about the "Contingency Saga" yesterday!

...or I would have cheerfully written that my meeting with NH (new hire) had gone well yesterday afternoon and that it looked like the problem might be solved pretty easily.

ha, ha, ha!

NOT!

Just got an email from NH explaining that it's more complicated than what I thought it was. Silly me, didn't ask for more details on the Friday meeting with the chair. (I panicked/despaired & I wanted out of his office ASAP) Or I could have argued with facts and numbers against the dean's determination that I was to teach only 2 classes in the Fall and 1 in the Spring.

Do they think I will drive 152 miles to teach ONE CLASS?

Wrong!

Can they hire someone else right to move there and teach 3 classes a year?

I don't think so. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone else is more desperate than me and they'd move across the country to do that. (?) (in any case I think they can only advertise a full-time position. And they're totally taking me for granted right now. Because I'm replaceable).

~  ~        ~ ~ ~        ~ ~
You know, before I continue, let me just say that I'm confident that I'll find a solution somehow -- be it teaching more classes at U#1 or trying to convince them to hire me full-time, or even continuing at U#2. I have faith that things will be OK, but I still feel the need to commiserate and argue and to talk about trying to solve the problem -- something that is stressful. So I don't want to sound hopeless and angry and upset as I continue to write about this "saga," OK? Thanks.
~  ~        ~ ~ ~        ~ ~

In any case... yeah. I don't know what else I was going to write before going on my digression. It's hard not to be angry at the system, very hard. That's why years and years ago I blogged about my Phd as useless. Because it is. I feel sorry for all MA and Phd students out there, I seriously do. That's why it would be a relief not to be crossing them on the halls anymore. "Look at me! I am you tomorrow!" (not really 'cause this is a top department and they may get jobs, unlike me).

OK, you don't want to hear what's in my head right now, I should stop.

Link Love: Ghosting Assange, Margaret Atwood & Translation, and Women, "Recline!"

It's been "ages" since I've written a link post, so here you go:

It may take you a couple of hours to read, but if you've been as fascinated by Julian Assange as I have  ever since the WikiLeaks scandal broke, you will thoroughly enjoy Andrew O'Hagan's long essay "Ghosting" published a few days ago in the London Review of Books. I had forgotten where Assange was and had to google to be reminded that he's still living in a room in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, oh well!... The essay is long because it recounts the loooong period in which O'Hagan was working to ghost-write Assange's autobiography*. Fascinating stuff! And now I'm more repulsed than fascinated by the Australian hacker and whistle blower. Take a look! (Thanks Emily for tweeting this!)

This is a quick read about one of the subjects that interests me the most: translation. The Guardian's short essay titled "Margaret Atwood translates translation" summarizes Margaret Atwood's talk about translation and writing novels. (Thanks to Anjali for linking on Tweeter as well)

Last, but not least, just this morning Laura (Apt 11D) blogged about an essay in which Rosa Brooks urges women to "Recline!" and lean OUT instead of  Leaning In. :) Pretty interesting, but it immediately reminded me of Anne-Marie Slaughter's piece from two years ago on "Why Women Still Can't Have It All." This discussion never ends, does it? But I'll gladly recline, it suits me better anyway!

* The book was eventually published as Julian Assange: The Unauthorised Autobiography, so we can actually see the results of O'Hagan's labor if we so wish.

A Beautiful Day For... Line Drying! ;-) (Last Sunday)

Yesterday and today have been cold and windy and tomorrow will be even colder, but Sunday was LOVELY! 64 degrees in February is great. So, it was a beautiful day for the first line drying of the year...

...Except that I suspect our washer may be on the verge of breaking again* and that completely freaks me out. Much more so than the job situation that I know will be OK eventually (and won't involve spending money on a big ticket item, sigh...)

* It may have been my fault (which is mortifying!) because I selected spinning on "Medium" for a pretty large load. The washer didn't finish the spinning cycle (some clothes were still sopping wet at the bottom) and smelled like a broken machine when we turned it off. My husband ran a rinse & spin cycle only with water and it worked OK. I'm doing a load right now, not too big (towels), but I'm doing the "heavy load" cycle and hoping it will be fine. I'm actually nervous about it! I'll let you know how it goes (updating the post).

Edited to add: it looks like washer is OK. It washed and span all the towels with no broken machine smell!

The Sad Side of Being "Contingent"

Part 2 of 2 (1 is here)

I've taught myself not to cringe too much when I use the word contingent to refer to my employment situation, but deep down it gets to me all of the time. For all purposes, I am 100% replaceable, I'm here now, but I could be sent away tomorrow, just a small cog in a big machine. Leaving all thoughts on my passion for research aside, that's the worst problem with the tenure-track, non-tenure track discussion: when you're "contingent" and not tenure-track you automatically feel like you don't really have much value for the institution. All they need is your weekly teaching, not you, really, and all you can contribute to your job as a person and a scholar.* 

Ha! The Roller-Coaster that's my life has started to move fast again and now... hold on to your seats, my friends, 'cause we're going down! Yeah... this is an old, tired, cliched metaphor (Why can't I write clichéd with the accent, spell-check?), but I keep using it because it works for me & my unpredictable life.

So, yeah... I'll try to be quick (so I can go to sleep, it's almost 2 am on Friday, but I scheduled this to be published tomorrow so more people can see it).

As you may or may not remember, I'm very lucky  as far as being contingent faculty is concerned because I happen to have a full-time job with benefits. It doesn't pay much, but as far as adjuncting goes, it's heaven! And on top of that, I teach a couple other classes at another university (U#1, where my husband is a tt professor and where I worked on a "class by class" basis every semester before the full-time gig suddenly, and unexpectedly appeared back in 2012). These other classes provide some more needed income for our family.

I wasn't supposed to have had a second year of full-time teaching at U#2, however, because they hired a new tenure track faculty last Fall (a search I applied to and that I never was even one of the MLA finalists for). I managed to maneuver myself into another yearly contract before the new faculty arrived and then, unsurprisingly, double offerings of same classes led to low enrollment.

So today [Friday] I had a meeting with the chair and s/he informed me** that the dean has reduced my teaching load for the next semester and that s/he will do all s/he can to help me have a 3/3 (full-time) load, but that it depends on enrollment. I had to control myself not to despair too much before leaving the chair's office. Because...

(ha, ha, ha) ... if the schedule continues as it is for the fall, enrollment will be the end of me because two sections of the same class are scheduled for me and the new hire (NH).

That means that my full-time status is completely at the mercy of NH (who is fully in charge of our program). If NH decides the schedule can be changed for the Fall and one of us can teach another class, I'm DONE.

I've already commiserated with two of my dear friends who are also lecturers, but who have three year contracts right now (and much higher pay), and we've brainstormed various suggestions that I can give to NH and that will hopefully work out so I can continue full-time. I have decided to email NH tomorrow night and not wait until we can possibly meet on Monday. This situation is much too urgent and I will be way less nervous writing an email than talking to NH. I'll keep you updated as the situation develops. (and I hope I can get some sleep now, sigh...)

Your thoughts, comments, prayers, etc. are appreciated!

* That's one of the big reasons why, among other things, academia completely sucks most of the time.
** I've been trying to schedule a meeting with the chair for weeks now. I'm just asking myself WHEN I would have been informed of this scheduling decision by the dean if I hadn't met with the chair this Friday! Maybe it would have been to late to try to re-mediate the situation. I shudder just thinking about that!

I wish I could go on strike for us contingent faculty too!!!

(Part 1 of 2, part 2 here)
Thursday morning I had to wake up around 5 am for our ski trip and when NPR started playing in our (super old) alarm clock and I heard an interviewer asking someone about a strike at the University of Illinois in Chicago on support of contingent faculty I immediately perked up and sat up in bed and started listening.

It was a strange feeling, especially after only a few hours of sleep, so early in the morning, to be hearing this guy from the Chronicle of Higher Ed (Peter Schmidt) talking about MY LIFE on the radio. I mean, that's all I could think of as he patiently explained to the NPR host the plight of contingent faculty.

I can barely write this or even bear to re-read the transcript because the timing is so ridiculous -- hearing this one one morning and the next day finding out that my situation is more unstable that I thought it'd be. I just have tears streaming down my cheeks now as I write this post.

I mean... I have it better than most, seriously. I know I should be grateful for the half-jobs I have, but the most crushing thing of all is that for the past five, six, seven years (even before I became one of them back in 2010!) I've been reading about the plight of contingent faculty and how it's such a struggle for all of us and it's just been really hard.

Because while I struggle with my situation I feel the acute weight of "THE SYSTEM" over me and the other thousands in my situation. I could go on and on, but I need to go write another post to share what's bothering me in more detail.

In any case, I wish there was something I could do. I wish I could become a true militant in this nearly hopeless struggle, but there's not much I can do. One thing is certain: where I live and work it's even harder because there can't be unions. As I read about the strike in Illinois, I wish we lived elsewhere right now, but that can't be changed. Gotta dry the tears and try to deal with the situation at hand. It's all I can do.

(not that this particular strike in Chicago will do any good, academia is much too slow and much too messed up as regards to career and hiring and the tenure system for change to happen any time soon)

MAYBE, just maybe it's a start, though??  Here are some interesting headlines from around the web about this strike:
Truthout calls it a "Historic Strike" as does "In These Times" and Schmidt titled his piece for the Chronicle "U. of Illinois at Chicago Strike Showed Unusual Support for Contingent Faculty"

Part 2 to come in two hours :)

Blogging, I Need You!

You all know that I'm struggling with the whole blogging thing and I'm trying to write about this and even accidentally published the title and first sentences last week, but that reflection will have to wait because I have a work crisis now and, as always, blogging is my first line of defense, my life-saver in these situations. It allows me to work through my disgruntled feelings and, when I'm lucky and the right people happen to be reading at the right time, even some encouraging feedback. (SIGH... see, I HAVE to write that post!).

All of this to say that there may be several posts coming your way as I try to sort out my permanently disagreeable work situation. And... it's the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and I can't sleep and I'm here blogging, but I can't bring myself to write the post I need to write because people are sleeping and nobody will read and I need support and feedback and whatever and... I'm sorry, I'm ridiculous in my need for attention right now, am I not?

So I'll publish this post, write the other ones and schedule them to be published mid-day tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get some thoughts from you!

Ski Lift Blogging

I'll come back to post a photo later, but I'm blogging from a ski lift! I came with my sons' school for their ski day while my husband will be substituting for me today. 

I'm not a good skier, but I'm persevering! A year ago I was ready to give up, but a free ski lift & rental voucher we received in early January made me go back and I decided to keep skiing, however badly! I'm glad I did! 

Photos later! 

here!

Weird/Spam Comments/ Recall

On Friday I started writing a post on my cell phone which I saved as a draft. Then on Saturday afternoon I went back to it, but I stopped and I thought I'd just saved a draft again, but apparently I'd published it! Weird! (but I know sometimes we're not careful and these things happen)

I only found out about that post through a spam comment this morning (oh, how I hate spam comments!), so now I "recalled" the post and put it back into draft form.

Sorry about this unexpected glitch! Back to regularly scheduled programing.

(Ha ha... as if I were blogging regularly this year. Blah...) :( 

Gotta love Jimmy!

& I think he'll be very successful. Good thing I don't have to teach tomorrow at 9 like my poor hubby (and that I'm not sleepy). 'Cause I wanna watch the whole show tonight. ;-)

But I will sure miss Seth in SNL.

Should I "live blog" the show? Nah... I'll just enjoy it (the Spike Lee directed first act thingy just started).

My Big Fat Mexican Sunday!

Last Sunday was pretty crazy intense day!

First, I stayed up until past 3 am on Saturday baking not one, but FOUR flans because I was "catering" my friend's reception for her doctoral lecture and recital. She wanted to feed a full orchestra plus some friends, so she ordered tons of mini-sandwiches and I prepared the rest.

She is Mexican and her project was on Mexican orchestral music, so I made the flans (using a recipe in Spanish that I found online -- the author is Puerto Rican, though... oh well...) and a TON of fresh salsa (pico-de-gallo style) and guacamole.

The recital was not until Sunday evening, but it turns out that I my friends and colleagues (faculty and students) at U#2 had their last performance of a Mexican play that afternoon and I didn't want to miss it for anything.

So... I spent all morning preparing food like a maniac: in addition to the salsa (which I like to prepare cutting everything by hand), I also had tons of fresh fruit to wash and cut up (to be fair, my husband helped with that!). Then I had to put everything into containers, coolers and bags, not forgetting tablecloths, serving bowls, spoons, etc. and pack it all into my car.

Then I drove 76 miles to see the play (and had to call a friend on the way for directions to the theater since I didn't have time to look it up beforehand!) and back to U#1 where I not only had to set up the reception, but also (before doing that) pick up the sandwiches and buy soda & ice. It was worth it, though because the play was hilarious! (I don't want to share more details so you can't locate me! ;-)

Sigh...

(meanwhile my husband and sons were skiing/ snowboarding, which cost 75 bucks for our youngest because we didn't want to have him be bored with me all day [and seeing a play mildly inappropriate for a kid] or stay with anyone else... I guess it was a fair price to pay and he enjoyed it too)

Thankfully everything went well on my big fat Mexican Sunday, except for one little "hiccup:" I began to unload all the food at the wrong place and had to unload and take it to another part of campus which wasted over 20 minutes and caused me to miss the whole lecture, but not the orchestral pieces. 

Everyone LOVED the guacamole, which I prepared by simply cutting the 12 avocados my friend had bought and mixing them with my homemade salsa -- only adding more lime.

Here are some more photos for your viewing pleasure!

Wanna Blog, Have to Grade :(

So sorry for Shaun White... oh well. (and, Laura, my sons & I love those brothers too!*)

Anyway, I shouldn't be blogging. I have to grade. I don't want to, but I have to.

Oh, and last night, the last thing my exhausted husband heard before he fell asleep was my comment about Bob Costas' red-eyes. Ha! I knew something was terribly wrong so tonight he had to be sidelined. And it does feel weird (or wrong to fly with the same adjective) to have Matt Lauer doing this. Not that I like Costas, no way... whatever...

I need to blog about my crazy-busy-intense-Mexican-Sunday, I'll try to, OK? Promise!

* the boys didn't have school today, so last night I let them watch the Olympics 'till nearly 11 pm. We don't have cable [there's NO cable in our county, is that our fault??], so we can't even watch NBC live through their app (maybe I'll have time to blog about how much I hate Olympic coverage). Today we watched some stuff live through a website.

I don't know...

... really, I don't.

I don't know why I'm not blogging lately. Sure, I am very busy, but much less busy than last semester (4 meeting hours less and two days not driving 152 miles make a huge difference!)...

I have made it a point to come and say here that life's good...

I've been blogging for 10 years, but that doesn't mean anything, does it? I mean, I've made many friends, I found a voice and I wrote lots. The blog was vital in helping me cope with life with two small children, and, most importantly, it provided the friends that I so needed as a very lonely expatriate person.

It was incredible to get to meet so many of these friends that I made through the blog and I'm still looking forward to meeting more (e.g. Jamie -- it looks like we'll be going close to you in August, my friend!).

But now that we've finally "settled" (gah! I still feel "stuck" instead of settled at times), very slowly, I seem to be making more friends. It's so hard and rare to find kindred spirits, but a year ago we began to find more of them and although we're still not spending much (if any) time together with these new friends, it feels as if maybe we're at the cusp of something new, a new experience (particularly as it concerns "church" or our faith community).

In addition to the busy-ness of work, this year there are other things that are already demanding attention: a friend's doctoral recital (I'm helping her with the reception); friends getting married in July and whose wedding shower I'm helping to organize; pregnant friends and showers to look forward to and, tentatively, a trip in August to take the boys to an event many miles away.

And then, of course, there's the "getting old(er)" part that I often don't think about. Sometimes I have this fleeting impression that all this "over-sharing" that I crave and which motivates me to blog may be a bit "immature" and that maybe I should get over it.

I don't think I'll ever quit, but I never thought, in a million years, that I would ever feel this lukewarm towards blogging.

In the world of (horrid, but addictive) facebook & superficial twitter (and über superficial Pinterest), it seems that blogging is getting outdated. Personal blogging at least.

What do you think? Why do you still do it? Why did you drift away?

No, I'm not quitting, but I do hope I get my blogging mojo back!

P.S. I have thought about blogging about really frivolous subjects & I probably will, now that I have addressed more serious topics... I just didn't want to write those posts without some reflection on how I'm feeling.

It's "Warm"!!

Tried to post this on Sat. Afternoon, but it didn't work! :-(  (today's super rainy)

It's 55 degrees out, but for this boy it feels like summer!

Tomorrow will be even warmer, but then it'll get cold again... Oh well! We'll enjoy whatever we can get!

Life's Good

I mean, my schedule is truly great, so I'm happy, well rested, nearly non-stressed, so life's GOOD this semester (so far)!

Mega-commuting only three days a week as opposed to five makes a big difference, but I'm blown away by how having a couple of mornings home alone really makes ALL the difference! I was going to write a blog post about that, but now that too much time has passed I have to play catch-up and write a more general post.

I have fewer students -- that's a plus! -- and I know most of them already (this brings the stress level way down). I'm also enjoying the handful of new students I have. One little thing depresses me a bit & I hope to blog more about it later, but I'll say what it is: this may be my last semester teaching a literature class in a long time. Sigh...

Other than that, things are going really well. I have a teaching assignment for the summer and I hope I'll have enough students for my class to go forward. K still doesn't know if he'll have funding in the summer (slight panic about this!) so I really need to teach. If he does get funding my class will help us be able to buy the car we desperately need.

Well... this post is supposed to concentrate on the good stuff, not the concerns or worries, but they have a way of seeping through our thoughts and words, don't they? (especially if you're me :(  :-p  )

OK, It's 10 pm and still need to prepare my classes for tomorrow, so I've gotta go! & I hope to post more often from now on!

OK!

I shouldn't have left you hanging (though I don't think many people still read this in this age of tweets & instagram & yucky facebook -- I still prefer blogging over everything else!) after my last post, but, here it is...

... it's all good! No malignancy! Only a moderate amount of irregular growth which might... or might NOT... have ever become malignant.

YAY!

I'm relieved and happy and I'll keep going back yearly to check if everything continues to be fine. And start to apply sunscreen daily.

My only New Year's resolution, OK?

Hopefully more later... though maybe not because we're about to have guests this weekend -- in-laws whose departure to Egypt may be imminent... sniff, sniff... :(

Well, thats life. We all need to adjust to change. Even though sometimes I wish the change was in my life, not other people's. I hunger for new things sometimes. It's hard, very very hard to "settle down." Blah...

Stitches

I was actually going to give this post another title (more on it below), but given how last week two journalists attacked a blogger because of this particular subject I guess I'll be careful! ;-)  (here I am again, pretending my blog is of any consequence!)

The day after we returned from our Brazil trip I went back to continue my long-delayed pursuit of medical care. After my first family doctor visit in over three years I was scheduled to go to three specialists: a gastroenterologist, a hand surgeon & a dermatologist and I saw the last one that day.

The doctor examined my whole body and decided to remove one suspicious mole and do a biopsy (I was thinking of using this word as the title of the post). She sutured the small cut with two stitches which I was supposed to have removed today, but due to the snow, I'll get them out first thing tomorrow morning.

I hope I didn't have/don't have skin cancer! My dad had several cases on his face and I know that as long as it's carcinoma and not melanoma, it's not that bad because it can be completely removed and not spread. I wonder whether the doctor will have to remove more tissue if the results are positive, though. Does anyone have experience with that?

Growing up I had many bad sunburns, my last bad one when I was 20 already. Now I know better and use sunscreen all the time when we're at the beach. Now I will have to start applying it to my face and arms every day as well, particularly because I drive in the sun every morning and early afternoon.   It will have to become a habit because I want to decrease even more my exposure to the sun's radiation. I'll let you know as soon as I find out what the results of the biopsy were, OK?

P.S. This is a summary of last week's cancer blogger debacle. Obviously my situation has nothing to do with the blogger in question and I'm pretty outraged at the journalists' criticism. I remember years back when the blogosphere mourned the loss of the "Cancer Baby" blogger. Many people were extremely moved by her experience and grieved her death. I think blogging is a very flexible genre and "blogging death" is just fine. If you don't want to read, just ignore it! Even Time magazine picked up this issue in its cover this week ("Blogging Cancer" is written at the top). I am yet to read the article.

A Week that Felt Like a Year

I can hardly believe that it's only been a week since school started... it feels like much longer.

I'm delighted with my schedule this semester and I think that I have a good chance of being really productive for the first time in a long time! I'm going my mega-commute only 3 days a week, MWF and on the other two days I teach a couple of classes at U#1. The big difference is that I'm teaching in the afternoon (more about that on another post).

After returning from Brazil (I can't believe it's only been 9 days!) the jet-lag is making me go to bed really early (9:30-10, this is incredibly early for me), so I feel more rested than I've ever been! Especially I stopped waking up at 6 am after the third day since we came back. :)

I want to blog more, I want to share photos, but right now I have a house to clean and -- worse yet, I need to cajole two pre-teen boys to leave their ipads and help me! :( My husband, the super-efficient official house-cleaner is in PA where he went to attend a workshop and he won't be home until later this evening.

I hope everyone has had a good week and that you have a relaxing weekend!

First Day Traffic Jam! :-(

An 11 mile long traffic jam is not a good thing on the first day of work! :-( At least, with a smart phone I can know what's going on!

I'm wondering if I'm going to make it on time for my first class and that is pretty stressful. The worst, however, is driving stick shift on a traffic jam…. Especially when it's slightly hilly like it is now...

Wish me luck! I will concentrate on the road now.

Update one: Traffic resumed for a few miles but then it stopped again 3 miles before my exit. And it's a big big hill! We'll see what happens… Have never been so anxious in my life to get over a hill!

My "Mandatory" Activities to Make a Trip to Brazil Complete

Disclaimer: this is a personal list. My husband or family may not agree or care for most items. I am the annoying "want-to-have-it-all" person in this family. ;-)

I will probably have to edit this post multiple times so I can make this list more "exhaustive," but I want to start it while these thoughts are still fresh in my mind!

• (most important) Going to Curitiba, Paraná to visit my extended family on both sides (this is the city where I spent four years of my childhood, ages 4-8, and all my vacations growing up).*

• Seeing as many old friends & their children as possible (this time we only saw four+families and that was very sad indeed!). Ideally spending some time (a day or so) with the closest friends and/or staying at their houses.
  
• Traveling to Caldas Novas and/or Olímpia (both Hot Springs resort places, in 2009 we went to both!). This time we didn't do it, but the sea water was so warm in Maragogi that it didn't matter! I guess any fun time spent in water (pools or sea) counts here.

• Grocery shopping for industrialized food to bring to the U.S.: heart-of-palm; pre-cooked corn flour to make corn-based "cous-cous" & some other items. (I did do this, but not as leisurely as I'd like).   

• Eating at Ráscal, an Italian/Mediterranean restaurant that has an amazing all-you-can-eat salad bar & gourmet pasta that exists only in São Paulo & Rio. --> I haven't eaten there in many years, maybe the last time was back in 2009. (?)

• Shopping for clothes in Monte Sião, MG and/or for old books in used bookstores in São Paulo and walking around commercial areas in São Paulo. (didn't do those) Going to the crafts fair (feirinha) in Curitiba or shopping for hand-made crafty clothes & accessories in Maceió -- did the latter in a rush & bought nearly nothing.     

• [to be continued] if needed

Optional, but desirable:

• Visiting sigh-seeing locations with the kids. We do this rarely (e.g. in 2009-10 we went to visit a second cousin near Brasília -- the capital -- so we took the kids to see the city. I really want to take the boys to Rio de Janeiro and Foz do Iguaçu, two of the most prominent picture-perfect "postcards" of Brazil.

* I went there every time I went to Brazil except two weekend trips and this last trip. K hasn't been in Curitiba since Dec. 2005, if I'm not mistaken.

All is Well With the World: He Came Back! or The polar vortex did NOT kill my beloved cat!

PHEW, what a relief!!

The first thing I did when getting into the house the night we came back (Wednesday 1/9) was going to the garage to check on our two cats, but there was only one there, Quark, Lepton [the one on the right in the photo above an the one below] was gone! :-(

I immediately panicked and began to worry whether he had been gone for a day or two or for many days. I left a voice mail at the cat-sitter's house and waited for her to call back anxiously.

When she did call, I had some answers, but they made me even more upset! She told me he'd refused to come in and had been outside for about a week. She had seen him and tried to get him to get in the house, but hadn't been able to, he just wouldn't come. And she hadn't left food out for him. :-(

Sigh... I spent two nights and a day and a half SOOO stressed out! I couldn't go back to sleep when I woke up at 5:50 am yesterday and today and I couldn't stop going outside from different doors calling his name all the time. Yesterday I'd walked around the bushes in the back of the house calling him too. And I put food out yesterday morning, but he didn't tough it.

Today, late in the morning, I heard him meowing outside, next to the food and ran to the garage to let him in! He looked fine, really really happy to see me, but, poor thing, he was limping on his right leg. It didn't seem to be broken because he touched the floor ever so slightly once in a while with it.

He meowed insistently until I gave him his favorite canned food and didn't stop purring for over half an hour. I kept him in the house with me for a while and then took him to the garage to join his brother who was sniffing him and seemed a bit spooked by what he smelled. ;-) I thought he wouldn't be able to, but Lepton jumped up to their bed by the window. I just don't know if he can jump down because of his limping leg. We'll see.

I'm just so happy he came back! Now I can go back to normal and relax and sleep in the early morning, and not feel sick (my IBS was acting up this morning). I texted our vet (who happens to be a friend) and she said to keep an eye on him and bring him if he seems to be feverish and sick.

What a relief, I'm just so thankful! My poor baby Lepton was outside in "polar" temperatures with no food and survived! Cats really do have seven (in Brazil) or nine lives, don't they?

Sad to be Back

We're generally glad to be back home from vacation, but this time was different, particularly for me (with the added stress of an unexpected reason that I will elaborate more on another post).

It wasn't because of the cold weather although that makes it harder. In fact, thankfully we missed the worst of it (this "polar vortex" the media was talking about) and it will be pretty "warm" in the 60s this weekend!

There are some negative aspects of traveling back that are a problem every time:

1) Seeing my mom cry when we leave and knowing that she'll be crying a lot for the next day or two;

2) The tiredness of flying, connecting flights, sleeping badly in the uncomfortable airplane seats, etc;

3) The delays and the drive to/from airport that are always complicated -- this time we had a 4:30 am flight, but the last bus to the airport from the São Paulo countryside left at 8 pm the night before! So we spent most of the night sitting at the airport and waiting to check in. Then the friend that was picking us up had a 2h delay... sigh... This made it into a 24h trip from my parents' house to ours.

4) Knowing that we won't have our families close by anymore and won't see them for a while.

(5) (only when we travel in winter here) -- 3h time difference that makes for some annoying jet-lag.

But this time there were some aggravating factors:

1) Our stay in Brazil was too short  -- especially because we didn't get to see many friends or visit many places (post about "mandatory Brazil Trip things" upcoming!).

2) Exceptionally, we spent a lot of time with K's whole family and, most importantly, we were at a perfect beach, so leaving that feels like waking up from a wonderful dream into a reality nightmare.

3) Although I saw my brother, sister-in-law* & met their babies, I didn't get to spend a lot of time with them for two reasons: they have young children (2 & 8 months) with rigid sleep/feeding schedules & we weren't staying in the same place. It's hard & sad not to see them often and not to be able to catch up much, if at all.            *I hadn't seen him in over 3 years and her in 5 years.

I think there are a few more reasons, but these are the strongest. The boys (at least our youngest) felt a little sad too -- the vacation was just too good, better than any before, I think I could say!

The hardest thing for me is that I already always live my day-to-day life with mixed feelings of always being "in-between" two countries and never knowing whether I'd like to be here or there, or whether we made the right choice by deciding to stay here. And a "re-entry" like this just makes it all so much harder and angsty! If only my job situation weren't so iffy and angsty to begin with, I'm sure things would be easier. :(

Sorry for the whiny post. I will try to share some glimpses of our trip with you later and that will both cheer me up and make me even sadder... oh well, that's life!

Quick Airport Blogging - Bye-Bye Brazil

We're about to board our 4:30 am flight to Panama City & then we'll take a connecting flight to the U.S.  We've been at the airport since 10 pm :( so it's been a long night. We won't be home until 4-5 pm tomorrow afternoon. Sigh...

It was an OK day, in spite of the packing, the heat and exhaustion. It's not all that bad to be going back home, but, as I already said, I don't feel like I stayed in Brazil long enough...

Gotta go, boarding is starting now!

Bye-Bye Brazil! (movie & song title ;-)

Exhausted & Sad

This trip was way too short. There are several things that I feel like I need to do in order for my trip to Brazil be complete (I'll try to list them in another post) and I did very few of them this time. :(

It was a long day and I was very wrong to say it was our last day because our true last day was yesterday (because we got to go to the beach one last time!)...

The trip was OK, my parents were waiting for us (it always feels good to have someone waiting for you when you walk out of the luggage collection at the airport). It was a tight fit for me, my mom & the boys and the car my dad used doesn't have air conditioning (it's his old car that he passed on to my brother).

We did stop by a huge mall on our way to my parents' house (partly fulfilling one of my "requirements"), but because of that we arrived home at 9 pm. We need to buy a few more things tomorrow and pack. Sigh... And I'm really exhausted & sleep deprived right now (I stayed up way past midnight and got up before 6 am this morning), but I'm happy that the trip was sooooo good. It's always sad when a really good thing ends, isn't it?

OK, gotta go to bed. My husband is almost done helping my mom use the new laptop we gave her for Xmas. She's having a hard time with Windows 8 and, frankly, both K & my son were too.

We'll see if I'll find time to blog more tomorrow. In addition to the shopping & packing we also need to spend time with some friends. If we weren't so tired we could pack now, but it's all good.

Last Day of Vacation :(

OK, technically, the last day is tomorrow, but I'll be at my parents' house packing and we'll leave at 6:30 pm to take a bus to the airport, so I'll call this the last "24h" period of our vacation. :(

It will be sad to leave K's whole family behind and go to the airport in a little more than an hour -- we fly today too, from Maceió to São Paulo -- especially because it will probably be nearly two years before we'll all be together again.

Next time we'll be "complete" with 10 adults and 8 kids because my SIL (the one married to K4, the youngest brother) is having a baby in July. I hope I can go see the birth or meet the newborn baby in July! (miraculously, I was there to witness the birth & take photos when my nephew was born!.

All right, I need to take a quick shower, have breakfast & finish packing. Our flight is not until after 11 am  (it's 2 hours earlier than the U.S. here), but we need to go early in case there are traffic jams -- the bane of people's existence here in Brazil. :-(

More later!

In 2014...

... I will have a new nephew or niece (maybe we'll find out later today which one it is!), due on July 12, & K's family will be complete with 18 people!

... I hope my parents will visit us again in the U.S.

... K & I will have our 20th wedding anniversary and I hope we'll find a way to celebrate in style!

... My sons will turn 12 and 10, I can't believe they're not "little kids" anymore! :(

I don't know what else to say about the new year, except that I hope things go well for K & I at work (which is really complicated for me, as you know). I don't have any other wishes (apart from health and happiness for everyone) or resolutions -- which you know I don't like anyway.

Happy 2014 for you and yours too!

Happy 2014!!

This is a belated New Year's post brought to you courtesy of our wonderful family vacation that is about to end in a few hours!

We've all had very limited internet access here at the beach and though we're all feeling a little (or a lot! ;-)  "internet deprived," I suppose that's a good thing!

New Year's day was very eventful for my immediate family, my parents & my SIL & nephew because we went snorkeling in the coral reefs after taking a catamaran from the closest town. It was awesome and I want to go snorkeling again ASAP! (and I'll try to find time to share photos soon).

Then on the 2nd & 3rd we walked on the the sandbanks in our beach (that's actually a lagoon protected by reefs less than half a mile from the beach) and reached the reefs where we found some natural pools and snorkeled again. It was great too, but the colorful fish were tiny and not so plentiful.

We also enjoyed the beach, the family and took tons and tons of photos which we were sharing in between our computers last night.

It was a most wonderful vacation and I'm sad to go back home on Wednesday. I hope to have time to blog more about our adventures, I will try to do that tonight.