Monday, May 09, 2005

Neighbor Girl is OK/ My son's reaction

*updated on 11/11/07 to add photos of Kelvin as he asked the questions I listed in the third paragraph below. His face is just so expressive and it was interesting that I had my camera on hand while he talked. He looks very concerned -- something quite surprising for such a young child -- he was only 3!Just a quick update [to the last lines of the previous post] to let you know that my neighbor's niece fractured her leg, and was kept overnight in the hospital, but other than that she should be OK. Fortunately, she fell on dirt that had been worked on to plant a garden, and not in the narrow cemented path right beside it. My neighbor said that the window was locked, and the kids opened it on their own.

In the end of last year I had talked very seriously with Kelvin (my 3 year old) about the windows, explaining that he could fall, etc. I inadvertently mentioned dying and of course he didn't really know exactly what it meant, and I volunteered a "you'd leave us/ you'd no longer live here with us" explanation - which frightened him SO much. "I don't want to leave our house, I want to live here with you, I don't want to die" he almost sobbed. Of courseb I immediately reassured him, and changed the focus of my warnings completely (you'd get hurt, etc). But for a few days he was quite shaken at the terrible idea of "leaving", because I think not being in his home with his family is a great "fear" for him (I'm so glad he hasn't reached the "fearful phase" yet - when exactly does that come? Does it vary from child to child?).
Anyway, yesterday he asked a few times whether the girl had died, and I explained repeatedly, "No, she just got hurt", etc. Then, he was really concerned and asked a ton of questions, such as "Why didn't she obey her aunt? Why did the policemen come? Why did she go away in an ambulance?" I answered, and of course I reminded him that he should keep away from windows so he wouldn't get hurt as well. Today told me again that the girl had gotten hurt and fallen because she hadn't obeyed her mom. And asked me again why she had not obeyed...He asks so many questions! The good part is that he seems genuinely interested in the responses. Today he also asked: "Are we going to live is this house forever?" "Why not? I like to live here." Sometimes he asks about the old house. I don't think he remembers much, because he was 2 years 4-5 months when we moved. But he does have an amazing memory, and surprises us often with out-of-the-blue questions about things that happened months ago.I have been planning a post about things he says for a looong time, but some of them are untranslatable!!! Let's see what I can do about that...

No comments: