Monday, October 23, 2006

Flowers

I have so many things to write about, but I'm kind of blocked right now. I guess the scare of almost losing the blog has actually affected me. It was very stressful, particularly because it happened on the day before a family trip. I was supposed to be revising the paper for my conference presentation and packing our bags and instead I just stayed online all day, frantically reading and posting on the blogger messageboards and trying to figure out what to do next.
So, I decided to post some flower photos, maybe they'll soothe me (or not -- you'll see why). I wanted to write a post about my morning glories (I planted them again this year),
but even that seemed too stressful, since I'd have to spend time choosing which photos to include, and explaining my frustration at the fact that I didn't anchor the vine right to my front porch, and half of it collapsed some weeks ago, so they didn't look so beautiful anymore.
Even these beautiful cosmos (first photo and photo above) that you see here have frustrated me, I didn't plan them right, I should have thinned them, but I didn't, and then they grew like maniacs or genetically modified plants on steroids, got really, really tall and I had to pull them all out from my front yard. I left the ones on the back, but they all "fell" horizontally on the grass, since I would have had to give them support so they'd grow vertical. They didn't care, and kept on blooming, though, which is good...

See, that's what I didn't want this post to be, a "complaining post." I wanted to follow Professor Me's example and post a list of things I'm not complaining about, but I feel so funky right now I just can't! I want to look at these beautiful photos an feel happy, but I just feel like crying. It's probably the hormones, combining with staying home all day with the boys. Day after day.

I took all of these photos last week. I love to photograph flowers. Some people don't think this is interesting at all. Our friend in Florida even joked, "Oh, yeah, my mom and my sister are like that. They take photos of flowers like there's no tomorrow!"

But that's the whole point about taking photos! Capturing the moment. There's no tomorrow, really. When am I going to see yesterday's morning glory flower (the pink one, when they're blue, they become pinkish while fading) sharing the stage with today's flower because the weather is just cool enough for it not to die?
One of the things I think I might be able to do if everything goes wrong, is becoming a photographer. I think I take good photos and, most importantly, I really enjoy taking photos. I have even photographed many friends' birthday parties, etc. to help them out and they were pretty happy with the results. Well, I feel better writing this. At least this post ended up having a point. I got to share my photos, talk about some of my frustrations, and share a possible dream for the future.

8 comments:

jo(e) said...

What beautiful photos. Sorry you are feeling down. I am sending a hug in this comment box ....

L said...

Thank you for the hug, Jo(e), it means so much to me!! Writing the post did make me feel better after all...

Juliet said...

I'm glad you are feeling a little better now. *hugs* I love your photography! Looking at the flowers is very soothing and peaceful, I think.

Aliki2006 said...

Lilian--these are fantastic--gorgeous!

Thanks for sharing these beautiful pictures. I'm still living with almost round-the-clock vomit and diarrhea here as the kids are still in the throes of this stomach bug. Those flowers have certainly added beauty to my day!

Anonymous said...

Yes, gorgeous photos! Really! I'm sorry you're feeling down, too. Have you read dinka's latest post on "being home with the kids all day"? It's enough to make anyone crazy (um, I mean the staying home, not the post...) Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.

Alice said...

I was also going to refer you to Dinka's post. I TOTALLY hear you!!! I've been struggling with this motherhood & loneliness/isolation issue too, and now it's worse because dh is again on a business trip to your wonderful country, only for a whole month! I've been really down since he left 3 days ago. If only you and I could meet, have a cup of tea together and complain a bit, I bet we both would feel better ... ;) (and you shouldn't berate yourself for writing a complain post because if it helps you feel better, that's just what you should be doing!)

Alice said...

p.S. I LOVE your photos! If you ever decide to publish something like a calendar be sure to let me know!

Andromeda Jazmon said...

These are just beautiful! You could make some note cards with them.