Friday, December 04, 2009

Like Pieces of a Puzzle

Today in the late afternoon we were coming back home when we drove by Big Pharma (K's former employer).

"I miss Big Pharma," said my seven-year old.

"I don't, really. Hmm, that's right, Kelvin, you've been inside there!"

"Yeah, I was in there twice."

"Twice? Wasn't it only on that day we sold out house and Daddy picked you up at school and brought you to work? You were only five back then." I said.

"No, I'm sure I was there twice," he replied, "but you only drove in a few times to pick up daddy -- I was the only one who went inside."

"Hmmm..." I responded, "I wonder what was the other time you were in there with daddy. When was that?"

"I really don't know," said Kelvin.
..................................

A few minutes ago I was randomly thinking, as I finished preparing my pumpkin "puddings" (for church potluck tomorrow), about getting a PhD and how, you know, it's not a big deal, really. I mean, "anyone" can get one. Then I thought about my defense and how K wasn't there and I wasn't at his defense either. So sad! Such a supposedly significant event in each of our lives... I wish he'd been there, since he's my best friend, the most important person in my life.

And I recalled the day, the fact that my parents were there with Linton, who impatiently thought that "the sermon" was too long.

And then it hit me. That was the second day Kelvin went to Big Pharma with daddy, the day of my defense. And all of a sudden I felt all tearful and sad... thinking of that "lull" period in our lives, post K's layoff and being hired back, in which I was able to finish the dissertation and finally "get a-hold" of the PhD. Before K decided to turn his back to that unsatisfactory job and venture into academia again. One year before the big storm hit this year.

We were more innocent then. I don't like to think of K missing my defense, there with Kelvin at Big Pharma... such a useless, sad job, which brought so much heartache to our lives.

And like small pieces of a puzzle my early evening and my late night came together while I contemplated for a moment the image of this part of out past.

3 comments:

jo(e) said...

(o)

ArticulateDad said...

And above all else... you still have by your side, your "best friend", and those two beautiful boys beside. What else really matters?

Aliki2006 said...

I second Articulate Dad's words of wisdom...as I mentioned to you yesterday (in the comment to your comment) those times are still too raw for you. Some day you will have the gift of perspective--the ability to look back and write about those difficult times, and feel proud of all you have all accomplished--together--and how you saw it through.