A Modern U.S. President (musical spoof)

OK, this is the second video-link post in a day (and not the one I've been writing since mid-afternoon), but this is just too funny not to share. Thanks to Laura (Apt11D) who also embedded the original song. And thanks to Phil Vischer (from the Veggie Tales), I know the original really well. ;-)

The Bronte Sisters Action Dolls!

This fake commercial is just so fun, I had to share it. I really like the Brontë sisters and Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite books (there's also the Norton Critical Edition ;-). So much so that my youngest son's name was taken from that book (the oldest's name has a relationship to my husband's discipline, but I won't blog about that).

Enjoy:

It was a little harder to explain to my boys what this "commercial" was all about (especially after I said all excited that one of their names had come from one of their books ;-). Someday they'll understand...

Sent. and... Found (question abt sending student evals in job applications too)

Tuesday was a stressful day because I had to fulfill one of the requests made by "my possible future employers in whom lie all the hope of my husband's future employers to have him accept the job:" send them some student evaluations.

Last week I wrote some syllabi and that was loads of fun, very intellectually stimulating. While I looked for materials for the syllabi, I also looked (half-heartedly because I just hate them so much) for my student evaluations, opening at least four boxes in the garage. After I sent the syllabi on Thursday, I forgot about the evaluations and this whole weird "being 'pitched' for a job that doesn't really exist" thing over the weekend (someone has to take a break from negative things sometimes, right?), but of course K had to remind me of it on Tuesday morning :-(.

It turns out that the evaluations were in an easy place to find -- in our filing cabinet, behind my dissertation stuff. I don't have my "regular semester" class evaluations, but I have those for the six classes I taught for continuing ed (mostly in the summer and in winter sections) and so I had to read them all and select a sample to send. That was a rough trip down memory lane. Some of my thoughts:

"How can they have sad that? Sure, it's true that I'm scattered and stuff, but didn't they realize I had a four month old baby and was teaching that difficult 200 level class for the very first time on my own?"

"Oh, that was that class I taught in the winter, when I was almost 8 months pregnant."

"Phew! I'm glad those students didn't think I was that bad -- that was my very first semester teaching on my own. One of them even thought I was cool, great! I was newly pregnant on that class too..."

"Why oh why did this one student have to blame my 'scatteredness' -- probably due to some level of ADD -- on me being a speaker of English as a second language? I was OUTRAGED when my useless advisor pulled that same "BS" [and I don't ever swear!] on me when I was working on my dissertation prospectus -- BLAH!!!"

For some classes, most evaluations were negative and I decided not to include totally negative ones -- that would be suicide, no? I did include some "balanced" ones (including the English as second language one -- as far as criticism goes, this may be annoying, but not very negative). In the end, I scanned and sent (one PDF file for each class) the overall quantitative results page for each of the six classes plus two to four evaluations.  Is that something that is done?

Question: those of you who send student evaluations as part of job applications, how do you do it? Do you send the whole packet for one class or do you do a selection? How is this supposed to work? I'm clueless, really.

This is the second time I've had to do this. The first time was back in 2006 and I went to my department in Massachusetts, looked at all of them, and copied a sample (and STUPIDLY, sent the original copies, never copied them for my record -- at least I couldn't find them anywhere, but I'm pretty sure I sent the only ones I had). In order to have evaluations for my "regular" classes I have to go to MA again and copy them out of the department's secretary cabinet files. I hope I don't have to do that again someday. I'd love the excuse to go and visit, though!! :-)

-------------------------

OK, now to the "Foud" part of the title. If I were a good writer, ok, good at editing, this material would have made for a nice, moving post, but no, this is what you get. :-(

Looking at those evals (I don't like reading them, it's another of the myriad of things that I should talk about in therapy if I ever get to afford have some therapy) made me get into a weird funk for the rest of the day. I was feeling better and then last night I found something that was quite amazing!

I was selecting papers from the trash for recycling -- I had found and discarded old student exams, papers, etc, useless things that moved THREE TIMES* with us since 2004 because we never had the time to tackle them in our moves. While pulling papers out of the bin I came across this thick, handmade paper envelope (I've always loved handmade paper, I actually want to make some with my boys). When it opened, it contained the most beautiful note from a student I've ever read or received. And it was from the very last term I taught a Cont. Ed. class (Summer of 2003) and whose evaluations I had read two days before.

The student (whose name I couldn't really make up) was very sweet and wrote things such as:

This was one of the best classes I've ever attended at the university. It was harder than I expected, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It was really, really good. Thank you for your time with us and your understanding.

That was nice, but look at this!

As for you, a student, a mother, a wife and a teacher -- you're pulling it off splendidly. You're going to make both the university and the people in your life very proud.

And in the end:

You're going to go far, I'm proud of all you've accomplished. It may get hard but hang in there. You're going places**. :-)  

This was just so amazing to find and encouraging to read! And such a contrast to some of the evaluations I'd read on Tuesday. Truly soul comforting. It's moments like these that make all the effort we put into teaching worth-while. When K saw it he said something like: "See? You deserve this, you don't need to be upset with the negative evaluations." True. Still hard, though. Hopefully over the years my skin will get thicker and thicker. Meanwhile, I'll be hoping for more positive feedback like this lovely note I found.

*2004: I had a newborn, my parents packed our house in MA with K.

2007: we packed everything with the help of some friends and in a hurry into "Flex boxes."

2010: friends helped load furniture and some previously packed boxes, but everything else was packed by yours truly and her husband and carried into the trailer.

The worst part of thinking about moving again? I already know ahead of time they pay only 4K and that's not enough, I'm pretty sure, to pay for someone to pack our stuff. We'll have to do all the packing again (movers will just load the truck and unload -- they'll only deal with big furniture and previously packed boxes). And we had SWORN never to do it again and not to move if the moving expenses were not completely covered for a DECENT move in which movers packed our stuff (books, kitchen stuff, clothes).

**It was as Children's Literature class.

I cannot write short posts, will you still read me?

I'm almost done with a post, but it's just so long, I almost feel embarrassed for it. Parenthetical remarks, footnotes, the works. You know if you've been reading for a while. And you also know I've written a 511 page long dissertation.

I feel bad all over again when I read things like a recent post of Dawn's emphasizing that we all need editors. Sure, we totally do! I should know (see? my comment is the size of a shortish blog post!). I wish I liked being edited more (I do think it's necessary, see comment above), but the truth is that I really enjoy the freedom of unedited writing here in the blog. Sigh. I shouldn't. I should strive for better quality and not quantity.

OK, there is one thing that I can say quickly now and get done before I go finish my long unedited post. In  two days (roughly 36 hours) I will see my sons for only a half hour tomorrow morning. Good thing they'll spend a lot of time with daddy and other family, but I'll miss them.

Today daddy will drive them 2h30 hours to go to their beloved cousin's birthday party in Maryland (I have meetings in the afternoon and a class to teach at 5 pm, so I can't go). The boys will be asleep when they come back and tomorrow I have meetings all day and a dinner in the evening and will only see them briefly in the morning while getting ready for school. I hope we get to spend a lot of time together during the weekend! More about it later. :-)

Gorgeous, Artistic Videos, Beautiful Music - Sigur Rós

Several months ago I began to follow these "kids" (10, 15 years or more younger than me), distant cousins of my husband (children of my mother-in-law's cousins) on twitter and blogger and I've really been enjoying what they have to share. Particularly because they are very artistic (musicians, singers, and budding composers/lyricists) who have recorded one or more music albums in Brazil (Leo just released his third CD through Sony Music's Christian/gospel music division in Brazil, it's fully in Hebrew, I can't wait to listen to it).

Dani, Leo's wife, whom I haven't met in person yet, :-( has been writing about Sigur Rós in her two blogs for a while now and I just couldn't resist sharing a few of their music videos in the blog. Maybe you know all about them, but I didn't. They're a group from Iceland.

This and the next are my favorite video-clips of their music so far. I really loved seeing these "older kids" having fun. Oh, no! I can't embed it, the music is gorgeous and the video with these "rebellious" old folks is worth watching.  Hoppipolla is the title of the song. 


Glósóli: This one has actual children and stunning visuals. I think it's amazing:


This next one was a bit too sad for me, but the music is beautiful. (It reminded me of this film that my brother, cousin and I enjoyed in the 80s: Le Grand Bleu/ The Big Blue (beautifully titled Imensidão Azul in Brazil -- in the U.S. the soundtrack was destroyed, so you probably don't really know about it, the original music is one of the great things in this eerie film):


This last one is the fourth part (in YouTube) of their amazing documentary/ live shows DVD, Heima:


Let me know what you think! I

It's insane, but he asked it

First, though, he kind of had to say "yes" to the offer.

The phone call I mentioned at the end of my previous post didn't happen until Friday evening. When they talked yesterday K made it clear to his prospective department chair that it would be a step back for us to move there if I didn't have a job, since my adjuncting gig here is guaranteed to continue, probably for years to come. We know it does sound insane to make such a request to a prospective academic employer, but as we say in Brazil, "the ball is on our side or court" now, so we have to take advantage of the situation. We don't have anything to lose at this point.

We are at peace with this because staying here wouldn't be bad, although several things have been happening -- including the way I felt writing those syllabi and some negative things going on in K's current department -- that make us realize that going there would be pretty good, too, even better in some areas.

Let's see what's going to happen. Right now, I think I'm getting excited about the possibility of going, but I can totally live with staying too.

Oh, yeah, and about the whole saying yes thing. At the end of the call, K was asked point black whether he'd accept the offer if they had work for me too. He answered that there would be a very high probability that he would. ;-)

And now I'm going to change the subject ASAP.

I did my part...

... in two days I created a full syllabus, the outline of another and a few more reading lists that can become future syllabi.

These were some of the classes that I'd always dreamed of designing.

Whether I will ever get to teach them someday is a whole different matter.

Right now I'm just hoping that I look good on paper (as I usually do, thankfully, except for my measly publication list). I do know that I can pull these classes off, yes I can! If given the chance. And I'm hoping that doing my best will help decide our case (because they obviously want K already). I didn't want to be the deciding factor, but I think I don't mind anymore. 'Cause I do deserve something too.

It was a dangerous exercise in dreaming, this was. On Monday, when the request for syllabi came I freaked out and felt like a farce, like I just wanted to pretend I could do this, but really wouldn't be able to. Then I got down to work and it dawned on me that not only could I do this, but probably do this well, and enjoy doing it it, for the rest of my  life... Teaching things that matter to me, that I think will contribute to furthering the knowledge about my country, its culture, its literature.

Yeah... dangerous because what I am actually working on right now is fun and easy, but it's not why I spent 10 years doing a PhD for. I want to be challenged, I want to push myself and my students. I want to learn from the material and from them, I want to grow!

And K does too. That's the main difference between here and there.

So, yeah... I sent my stuff a bit over an hour ago and while I was writing this post, K was probably on the phone with his dept. chair -- the one who is trying to get me placed too. I wonder what they talked about. I wonder, with bated breath, what's going to happen.

No fear, I'll keep you updated.

I was too tired to write another post...

... last Friday, when I wrote the previous post.

And today I'm too tired to write much as well. Not to mention that we forgot the laptop's AC adapter & plug at my brother-in-law's house today and I can't use the laptop for too long because K (whose work laptop is the same brand & compatible with this one) is working on the computer.

We had a WONDERFUL day yesterday because my aunt and uncle (she's dad's youngest sister, my dearest paternal aunt) were driving down from PA to TX on their truck and stopped by to have lunch with us and to see my brother whom they hadn't seen for about 10 years. This was the first time they were able to meet with us mid-trip in the 10+ years they've been truck drivers and driven by wherever we lived. I hope it can happens more often from now on!

Later when we were on our way to the airport to drop off my brother (who forgot his cell phone, laptop AC adapter & jacket here!) my aunt called to say we had had that lunch to celebrate their dad's birthday -- exactly on October 2nd.

My grandpa died back in 1979 (I remember it pretty well, in spite of the fact I was only eight. My mom took me to the viewing and it freaked me out a little bit to see his body). He died not too long after his birthday. I remember my mom had me practice "Happy Birthday" on the recorder and when the day came (it was a Friday) we drove to their house with a cake and I played the song.

He's the grandparent I knew the least and the one who died first. My grandma survived him for nearly 30 years. And yet, what little I knew of him has stayed with me. There's this picture book that I have to try and write about my grandpa. I hope I can do it someday.

But now, I have to go to bed. ;-)

On Fridays the Blogosphere is a Wasteland

And I feel lonely because of that.

I've been struggling with so much stuff regarding blogging lately. I have this feeling that maybe I'm overdoing it and that's it's not good for me and that I need to spend more time doing "real life" things instead of investing so much on a "virtual life." (this, BTW is what everyone in my family, not husband, perhaps, but certainly parents and K's family -- not all of them -- think).

It's just that I've always been that way. Before the internet, it was reading constantly, all the time, even while walking (I hardly ever do that nowadays, I know, sad) and writing in my journals. And reading and re-reading the journals and writing some more.

And in addition to that, from 7th-12th grade, I had one best friend and two other super-close friends who have now become the best friends. Although, well, it is a complicated thing to analyze. I'm too complicated for my own good. I don't even know how/why some of you are still reading me.

What I mean to say is that this blogging person here, that's not a "new me." I've been like this all along, it's just that now I found the right medium, a wonderful outlet (even if it doesn't bring me much more than a handful of friends, no money, no fame, nothing tangible -- except in the way of "wasted time" that could have been used doing other stuff).

OK, never mind. I have resolved not to care. And I'll post more, for myself, even if people won't listen/read. It's still good for me.

& now I'll put out a quick post about Narnia. I love Narnia.

He's Here

For a little more than three days, but I'll gladly take what I get. Remember, the rule is that I see him every two years from two days to two weeks.

It's pretty amazing to see the changes that two years can do to the "little brother" I used to fight play with. After all, he's in his mid-thirties now, no longer a "boy." It's incredible to think that he's the person on earth that probably has the closest DNA to mine (well, except for my sons, I guess -- I'm no biologist, those of you out there who know more than I do, please correct me if I'm wrong), but we couldn't be more different.

If we weren't siblings, we probably wouldn't get along at all. And that's sad. I wish we were more alike. We do have a good relationship, but we're not as close as I wish we could be. Family relations are tough. We choose friends and spouses, but don't get to choose family members (or in-laws, for that matter -- I totally lucked out on that department, picking a spouse with a great family, not that I sometimes don't have my, hmmm... slight reservations about some of them -- never you, my blogging SIL, rest assured). ;-)

In any case, I'm glad. For the sake of my sons I wish we could see him (and his wife, who is not here) more often. The last time we saw him Linton was only four and I think he barely remember spending time with his only maternal uncle then.

OK, gotta go now, it's getting late.

P.S. We found a house today that we liked A LOT. We were just driving aimlessly and decided to go to a completely enclosed street (between two cul-de-sacs -- I love how Linton says this word so nicely, he likes it) in one of the developments we'd been looking into buying before our search was interrupted by the "new development." And then we saw it. It has all the features we wanted -- garage, finished walkout basement. Nice lot. It even has trees in one side (no other houses in the development have trees yet). Why, oh why did we have to see it? It makes me want to the offer for K (and I) to go wrong so we can stay here and buy it. It's tough. OK.

Testing, Assessing, Evaluating

My students, that is...

I have already given the first quiz for each class and the first test to one of my classes. Right now, I'm working on elaborating the test for my second (intermediate level) class.

I'm enjoying preparing the tests although I did freak out just a tiny bit when I saw that one of my beginner students failed pretty spectacular in her first test (most students did great). What do I do? I mean, language teaching is pretty straightforward, you either learn or you don't. Tough, right? Any thoughts on this are appreciated. I'm planning to have the student come to my office hours and go over the materials. I want to make sure she's getting something out of our classes.

Anyway, I've always enjoyed elaborating paper topics. Ah! I was always so creative with those! My papers were nearly impossible for the students to plagiarize because I made the topics very specific and always comparative in nature.* It was fun to come up with paper topics! I also had quizzes, but I think this is the first time since my teaching years in Brazil when I have to create actual tests. I am using the templates provided by the book publisher, but today I created several review questions from scratch. It's funny that I'm totally thinking of the test as one more learning tool for the students. I have even included several "teaching moments" within it.

I am enjoying the grading too, since there's not so much of it (nothing, compared to the two semesters that I had to grade SIX HUNDRED papers -- 6 short journal and 4 longer autobiographical papers per students X 60 -- I got "incompletes" both times in the classes I was taking). It's interesting to see that they're really (for the most part) learning! What I'm doing is useful!

Teaching is fun and rewarding, that's for sure. And this kind of "real" teaching is a joy, compared to the utter awfulness (weak words) that was my experience being a "facilitator" for the biggest for-profit distance learning "provider" in the country. That is not real teaching, and I wonder if it's really any worthy kind of education.

I digress, tough. I hope that the results of these evaluations can prove that I'm doing my part and helping the students to learn! But now, I have to go to bed... ;-)

P.S. My parents are back. I went to pick them up in Maryland today. My uncle is improving lots and that's great! More later.

*After all, that's part of the name of my discipline, for those who don't already know, I try to be slightly fuzzy about that too here in the blog.

A Bit of a Defensive Pessimist

I love to listen to NPR (although I do it only while driving, hardly ever at home, for some weird reason) and Fresh Air is one of my favorite programs. Terry Gross's book All I Did Was Ask: Conversations with Writers, Actors, Musicians, and Artists has in my "to-read" list since it was published.

tangent:
I can't really afford to buy books and although this website is a little "nothing," I've joined Amazon's affiliate program. Now when I write about books, as I often do, I can have my links help me out if anyone ever buys the book. I know Kate bought at least one book after I reviewed it -- too bad I wasn't an affiliate back then! //end tangent

Today I listened to half of Terry Gross's interview with David Rakoff, who recently published Half Empty. As usual, I learned a lot about him in the interview and Terry asked lots of good questions. The most fascinating discussion for me took place when Rakoff explained that he is a "defensive pessimist." When he explained what that was (and I remember clearly that I was entering the highway right at that moment), I realized that this is what I do -- I imagine worst case scenarios to help control my anxiety and it actually works! And it even has a name, this interesting (if annoying to other people) strategy.

Rakoff's take on life, epitomized by the title of his book, is related to the fact that he's currently experiencing his second bout of cancer (the first was when he was 22 and the radiation that treated his lymphoma actually caused the sarcoma that he has now -- crazy, huh?). The interview is cool, you should check it out.

Now... I don't think my "defensive pessimist" side shows much in the blog, does it? It's a little harder for those around me, though.

Hmmm... // 75% Success Rate

The decision is still very much up in the air.

The phone conversation today was disappointing. The salary is fairly low. Pretty standard, but low. Not too much more than what K gets here. And summer salary is not a certainty (here K is getting it for three years). The expectations there, however, are sky high, whereas here, they're pretty down to earth & tenure is all but certain.

We were very surprised that three years ago, when K's friend P had a FANTASTIC job search season (with five job offers, including Duke, UC Boulder & NC) the same place K's getting a job offer from now offered P only 1K less than it's offering K now. I guess the annoying explanation that everyone is giving for everything nowadays ("It's the economy, stupid!") may be the culprit, but still... no wonder their original search fell through earlier this year! And it might just be falling through again.

And with this kind of offer, we're definitely not going if I don't have a job with some security. I think it could be an adjunct position only if they could assure me that they wouldn't dump me in the next semester -- because here I can foresee that I have a chance to be employed long-term. Without two incomes (however small for me) we wouldn't be able to make it there because the cost of living is significantly higher (e.g. the boys' school will be over 30% pricier and I'm sure rent there won't be what we're paying here).

So, yeah... the jury's still out on this one. Let's keep the roller coaster going for a while longer, shall we? Enjoy the ride!

~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~
Meanwhile, K is positively gloating over his job search success. 75% success rate!
4 interviews, 3 offers. It doesn't get any better than that. And he didn't care for the Ivy-league place anyway ;-). Really. They even gave him trouble when reimbursing his expenses (they claimed he had traveled to another interview after that one when that was NOT the case and wanted to reimburse only half of his cost).

So, yeah. Thank you so much for all your encouraging comments. And I want to change the subject very quickly over here, it doesn't feel so good to keep talking about this subject. And, BTW, I don't think I'm dumping the semi-anonymity any time soon because it's important to K that he remains "untraceable" through my blog. It's just fair, right? I talk too much about him as it is.

Unanimously

The department unanimously decided to offer K the job. They're working on the details (he has a phone conversation scheduled for tomorrow) before they put it in writing.

I have a feeling K is not going to refuse this offer & I'm already thinking about moving (I'm excited about it, actually), but, we could change our minds, so, let's see.

I don't feel so torn anymore. And, you know, the whole thing is NOT about a "right" and a "wrong" decision (there's no right or wrong, I think), it's just about what would be best for him and for our family.

I'll keep you posted.

And the hard part will be telling folks at the university here & dealing with that. But, as the saying goes, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

LOVE Cats + Like IKEA = Perfect Ad!

My friend Zee linked to this lovely new ad for IKEA in the U.K. and I just had to blog it.

Here's the ad:

And here's the making off:

Thanks, Zee, I love it!

(Semi Academic) Blogging, Facebook, and Thinking About Changes

In a couple of months I'll be blogging for six long years. I never intended to get famous or to make money (though I have made a little bit, under 1K until now & I'm thankful for whatever I get) although I hoped to be a tiny bit more well-known in the "blogosphere" or blogland (as I sometimes like to call it). And I never anticipated how addictive (hopefully in a good way) and how central to my life blogging would become.

Blogging has changed my life* in many ways. The most significant one was that it has given me a sense of community and allowed me to make many wonderful friends (and I can say with the certainty of one who has experienced many "blogger meet ups" [12 posts in that category] that these friendships are very real and "translate" wonderfully well to face-to-face interactions).

Most importantly, though, blogging has allowed me to express myself -- even if most of the time it feels as if I'm talking only to myself, it's still useful (that's why I've written on journals for over 25 years now and I continue to do so). It began as a profound need of an expatriate mother (of a toddler and infant) who had just moved to a new city to connect to other people, then quickly morphed into the desperate mother-graduate student trying to finish a dissertation and get the Ph.D. and looking for other grad. student mothers. I found them all right and it was amazing to read about their struggles.

Anyway... blogging became something central to my life.

Then came other social media. Orkut, first -- because I'm Brazilian and for years before facebook was the rage (well, I think MySpace was already big then) most Brazilians embraced orkut (now owned by Google) and I was able to reconnect to long lost friends from 30 years ago (25 years at the time! ;-). I'm still there, but I hardly ever check anything or anybody. Then came facebook. I joined and the strangest thing happened. First, I connected to family and friends -- including people from graduate school, and I also got connected with all of my closest blogging friends (if I'm not fb friends with you yet and you'd like to be, just send my an email, I'll give you my "real name" :-D).

That was strange. Two parts of my life that hardly ever touched now were there all together -- the friends from Brazil, from church, from the university and... "from the internets." And what happened since I joined facebook is that I've always felt WAY more comfortable blogging than posting updates there. (I blogged about this a few times).

Now, I was just reading a recent post by Laura (Apt. 11D) in which she commented on her disappointment with the New Yorker's profile of facebook's founder. In the end of her post, she writes:

In a side note, I have to marvel at the power of Facebook. Facebook is now my biggest referral. More people show up here via a link on Facebook than show up from a link from a blogger. Those links bring in new readers. It has changed the way I blog. I now think about how I can package up an idea, so it's appealing on a Facebook page.

And I commented back:

Well, your comment about Facebook bringing in traffic/new readers to your blog made me conclude that my already tiny blog is hopeless because I refuse to acknowledge its existence in fb.

Mostly because I have a bunch (maybe 10-15) graduate school friends I'm in touch with in there. Even my advisor is my fb friend. And I've blogged extensively about graduate school.** I wonder if anyone would go and read the archives, though (I do that, I've read part of yours e.g.). So... yeah, I'd rather continue my semi-anonymous blogging for a while longer while I sort out this semi-anonymity thing.

I'm thinking that if we move to [GA] I may decide to disclose my location fully & allow readers to find out my real name more easily if they so desire. Then, maybe I will lose my inhibitions about talking about the blog in facebook. OK, I'll stop here, there's more I want to say about this, so I'll probably should go write a blog post.

The blog post is already here. I'm not promising anything, but I have this feeling that I want to "integrate" my life more from now on. Part of a new beginning, if you will. I have no plans to edit this blog's archives, what I wrote is what I've lived and I stand by it. I think I will feel better and more "whole" once I can openly "own" my blog in a forum like facebook. Not having been published in Mama PhD gave me a chance to remain semi-anonymous for a couple more years, but I think the time will come when I will feel confident enough not to think that this blog can pose any threats to my "academic career" -- if there ever is one ;-). And I can't wait to "take the final plunge."

Oh, and last, but not least? Facebook, Twitter, and other social media seem to be so big that people are already talking about them totally replacing blogging. Too bad. I still feel that blogging is a very effective medium that allows serious reflection in addition to superficial musings. Only the latter can be done in the more popular social media. What to do you think? I hope that blogging doesn't go away anytime soon and, like Laura said, I hope to be able to use Facebook & Twitter to my blog's advantage.

* I can't believe I wrote the "How Blogging Changed My Life" post only two years into blogging, wow.

** Long time readers will know that I've shared lots of my struggles with my advisor, committee members and my doubts about academia in the blog. My unpublished essay (which I had submitted for the anthology Mama, PhD), in particular, deals with sensitive topics that have to do with my department.

The First Pay Check

It feels great to have received my first paycheck today. I was going to put the laptop away when I remembered to check our bank account and see it. This is my first reasonably decent paycheck since I had to stop being a graduate student instructor when we moved from MA to PA six years ago. It's more than what I made as a grad. student and that's good too.

Yesterday I had a full day and I was thinking that working (outside the house) feels good. I miss the boys a lot, particularly on Tuesdays & Thurdays when I teach from 5-6:15 pm. For six years I spent most days with Linton close by and Kelvin was in school for only one year without me (the next year I worked at the school three days a week). I love it that I was able to be with them for so many years, but I'm thrilled to be back at work too.

The transition is not being so easy on Linton, though. After all, six years at home and being able to play a whole lot (even with the cyber-schooling last year) make for a tough transition to being in school for so many hours a day. The many changes are taking his toll on my "baby" and this week was hard for him. I'll try to come back and blog about that later. Now I have to go and pick them up at school (we have early pick up on Fridays).

Torn

The trip went well, particularly at the end of the day yesterday (Tuesday) when we talked with an awesome and helpful professor whose research is mostly about Brazil (he was meeting with me, but told K to come too, which was great because he had specific advice for him).

We're torn, though, really torn. I won't be able to go into lots of details without revealing way too much about either here or there, so I won't blog this whole thing as much as I wish I could. It's hard to feel torn -- we like it here and we like it there and we have to make the hardest decision of our lives.

Sometimes I feel that I didn't want work for me to be the deal-breaker because so much is at stake for K. We haven't decided on that yet.

We're almost certain that an offer is coming, though. They went well beyond any expectations and out of their way (incredibly so) to make K feel that they want him there. So... yeah.

The whole thing kind of feels like a dream right now. I just hope it doesn't turn into a nightmare (moving again DOES sound like one :-( and I think they only pay 4K for moving, not very good).

P.S. Thanks to blogging & bloggy friends, I didn't spend all day Monday doing nothing & by myself. Thanks for letting me stay at your office, Scriv & for joining me to commiserate about academia. "We are all in this together."

Leaving for a Couple of Days

For the second interview (for K -- he's got to meet the people he didn't see back in July). My dad's here to be with the boys. I'm not that nervous. People in my own discipline don't want to see me, so I guess they're not interested in me. I will see only two dept. chairs, one in an area that is not even related to what I do, only tangentially connected to one of the writers I wrote about in my dissertation. Kind of strange.

Work for me there is kind of a deal-breaker for us. Even though I'm only an adjunct here, we feel there may a future for me because my language has only been taught offered for 2 years and now it's officially "on the books" (course catalog). If K gets an offer, I'll go to my current dept. chair and will ask her if she thinks my possibilities are real here or not (of eventually becoming a lecturer or something).

OK, gotta go pack. I'm not that excited about this trip. We'll see how it goes. Sigh. We really like it here and we're generally happy with the work, but for K working there would be more advantageous (even if tenure is easier here).

And Then... He Prayed

When I wrote that post earlier today, I had no idea that I would be thinking much more about the subject as the day went on. (and thankfully it seems that the man is calling off the Koran burning. wow. Who does he think he is? with all his "bargaining power." Blah.)

Today I worked for over three hours in the shared part-timers' office and I had a chance to talk some more with one of my colleagues. I found out that he is also from Iraq, but unlike the woman colleague, he has only been in the United States for two years. When he said that I was speechless for a few moments, pretty startled and sad too... That means that he lived through the invasion, not only that, but his hometown happens to be Basra -- the place where much of the trouble was in the later phase of the war.

He has two sons, one is only 2 (the other is five), which means he must have had a newborn when they came or maybe the son was born here shortly after, I don't know. Before I found out more details about his life we had actually been talking about how to keep our children speaking our mother language. His parents are in Syria right now (they all fled at the same time) and he is trying to bring them to the U.S. I didn't know what to say, really, or what to ask, although I do want to know more about his experience.

We were both working on our computers when he stopped, took his shoes off, found the correct direction and prayed. I was moved, and I hoped that I wasn't bothering him. Very quietly, I began to email a link to the previous post to my dear friend, telling her about the man I had just talked to -- who happens to have the same name as her eldest son. She recently wrote in facebook that she enjoyed the moments of prayer during Ramadan and I thought that she would like to know that my colleague was there praying too. Synchronicity, that's what I felt about the events of this day.

After the prayer, he went away quietly. I didn't say anything either. I just thought that he didn't know it, but it had been moment full of meaning for me. Maybe later I'll share here another story about the first time I saw a group of muslims praying. Today, I'll let his prayer stand.

And today another group of people celebrated the New Year. If only there could not be so much religious intolerance in the world!