This week my blog had a milestone. I've had over one thousand visits since I installed the sitemeter!! (When did I install it? Back in July? I don't really remember...)
(and yeah, site meters are "fun," as Manuela has found out lately :)
I don't know the thousandth (weird word!) person, and it visited for zero seconds anyway, so, Sophie La Porte, you were 999, so the "prize" goes to you!! I'll email you a copy of my dissertation when I'm done (no, I'm just kidding of course, even though I can send it if you want :)
You know, this is a wee little blog, I'm just a newcomer, but I enjoy blogging, reading other people's blogs, and finding my space in blogosphere, I feel truly connected now to so many people around the world ("'Hi there everyone!" Waving and smiling :) And plus, I get to sharpen my writing skills, share my big journey to Ph.D.land, show off my kids, and write about anything I want - it's just great!! (it's also addictive, but I won't comment about that :)
Friday, November 04, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Dissertatin' - Update #3 (Things are lookin' up!)
OK, time for another update, and this is a positive one - yay! (I began to write in on 10/30)
But before that, some words about last week. It was not a good one - the two boys were sick, coughing and sneezing a bit. Nothing terribly serious, but on Monday night Kelvin did wake up with a "croupy" cough (I had never heard it before, and I got pretty scared, even called the doctor, even though I read everything he told me before hand in our parenting books of choice, this - our favorite; and that - very detailed and informational, if you happen to be curious) and in a day Linton had a little cough too. But they're OK now, I guess they caught a much milder version of the virus I had two weeks ago. (More recently, I started coughing a bit again, but it's not really bothering me).
What else? I didn't work many hours and didn't produce many pages. As a matter of fact, since I started registering every single hour of work, and number of pages produced, and holding myself accountable to another ABD friend of mine 5 weeks ago (all thanks to this post by Academic Coach from a while back), this was the week I worked less hours.
But, but...
1) I sent a very "clean" rewrite of chapter 1 to my advisor
2) Received the annotated copy of chapter 2's first draft from the advisor and was much happier with the feedback (not too different but now I know what to expect , or perhaps what NOT to expect, and this time every single page was equally annotated)
3) I spent some time writing emails to my dept chair and also to the advisor, and...
OK, wait, for number 3 to make sense I need to digress a bit.
Two weeks ago I was upset with one more development in the dissertation front. I tried to add another member to my committee (intending to switch her by another member), a professor from Brazil who's now working at a university in upper state NY. She, however, declined, because she's too busy. I was crushed. Little did I know this would open the way for me to get the person I really wanted to get. This is a professor who teaches in Brazil (in Rio de Janeiro) and whose main line of research right now is identical to mine. We had exchanged emails, and I just read and used for reference in my dissertation 2 MA thesis she advised and which were defended early this year. I had not dared to ask my department for permission to invite her to serve on my committee because I knew they wouldn't be able to pay for her trip.
After the failure of my plan B (the prof. from NY), I thought about asking my department whether they would agree to have her serve on the committee if she were already in North-America for a conference, or a speaking engagement, and they said, why not? And even gave me the alternative of asking her to be only a reader, if I couldn't get her to serve. I emailed her immediately, and she responded. Just a few hours later. And (drum roll...) she said yes, she'd be delighted, and that she was coming to Toronto in late May for a conference and she could come to the defense.
I just couldn't believe it!!! Not only the perfect person for my committee, but the incredible GIFT of a defense date, a deadline, a light in the end of the tunnel. So:
3) I have a new committee member, and a defense date will probably be scheduled very soon!!
I immediately started emailing the New Member (her name henceforward) about my dissertation, and sent her some older papers. Her response (after quickly looking at my stuff) already contained meaningful questions, which will probably help me a lot. I'm sure she is just "what" I need: someone who will help me think about the content of my dissertation, and, be able to give me invaluable advice about Brazil, since she is there (I had nobody from Brazil in my committee).
Last but not least, today The Advisor emailed me about my revision of Chapter 1. He said it was my best writing so far, that he was happy with it, and had to do only minor corrections, etc, etc...
In short, he thinks I'm in the right direction, and likes my work. He's usually very positive, but this time I know I did a good job, and I feel much more confident. That's the good part, and I think I finally deserve to give myself some credit. I can do it. I will do it!! I can't wait for this to be over, I can't wait for May to be here. Wow. I still can't believe I'm feeling this way.
But then, I know this whole trajectory is supposed to be like this, ups and downs, highs and lows... I have to live with it (and now I'm starting to dread the next update... just a little bit :)
Let's see if I can post something less boring soon, perhaps a picture or two, OK?
But before that, some words about last week. It was not a good one - the two boys were sick, coughing and sneezing a bit. Nothing terribly serious, but on Monday night Kelvin did wake up with a "croupy" cough (I had never heard it before, and I got pretty scared, even called the doctor, even though I read everything he told me before hand in our parenting books of choice, this - our favorite; and that - very detailed and informational, if you happen to be curious) and in a day Linton had a little cough too. But they're OK now, I guess they caught a much milder version of the virus I had two weeks ago. (More recently, I started coughing a bit again, but it's not really bothering me).
What else? I didn't work many hours and didn't produce many pages. As a matter of fact, since I started registering every single hour of work, and number of pages produced, and holding myself accountable to another ABD friend of mine 5 weeks ago (all thanks to this post by Academic Coach from a while back), this was the week I worked less hours.
But, but...
1) I sent a very "clean" rewrite of chapter 1 to my advisor
2) Received the annotated copy of chapter 2's first draft from the advisor and was much happier with the feedback (not too different but now I know what to expect , or perhaps what NOT to expect, and this time every single page was equally annotated)
3) I spent some time writing emails to my dept chair and also to the advisor, and...
OK, wait, for number 3 to make sense I need to digress a bit.
Two weeks ago I was upset with one more development in the dissertation front. I tried to add another member to my committee (intending to switch her by another member), a professor from Brazil who's now working at a university in upper state NY. She, however, declined, because she's too busy. I was crushed. Little did I know this would open the way for me to get the person I really wanted to get. This is a professor who teaches in Brazil (in Rio de Janeiro) and whose main line of research right now is identical to mine. We had exchanged emails, and I just read and used for reference in my dissertation 2 MA thesis she advised and which were defended early this year. I had not dared to ask my department for permission to invite her to serve on my committee because I knew they wouldn't be able to pay for her trip.
After the failure of my plan B (the prof. from NY), I thought about asking my department whether they would agree to have her serve on the committee if she were already in North-America for a conference, or a speaking engagement, and they said, why not? And even gave me the alternative of asking her to be only a reader, if I couldn't get her to serve. I emailed her immediately, and she responded. Just a few hours later. And (drum roll...) she said yes, she'd be delighted, and that she was coming to Toronto in late May for a conference and she could come to the defense.
I just couldn't believe it!!! Not only the perfect person for my committee, but the incredible GIFT of a defense date, a deadline, a light in the end of the tunnel. So:
3) I have a new committee member, and a defense date will probably be scheduled very soon!!
I immediately started emailing the New Member (her name henceforward) about my dissertation, and sent her some older papers. Her response (after quickly looking at my stuff) already contained meaningful questions, which will probably help me a lot. I'm sure she is just "what" I need: someone who will help me think about the content of my dissertation, and, be able to give me invaluable advice about Brazil, since she is there (I had nobody from Brazil in my committee).
Last but not least, today The Advisor emailed me about my revision of Chapter 1. He said it was my best writing so far, that he was happy with it, and had to do only minor corrections, etc, etc...
In short, he thinks I'm in the right direction, and likes my work. He's usually very positive, but this time I know I did a good job, and I feel much more confident. That's the good part, and I think I finally deserve to give myself some credit. I can do it. I will do it!! I can't wait for this to be over, I can't wait for May to be here. Wow. I still can't believe I'm feeling this way.
But then, I know this whole trajectory is supposed to be like this, ups and downs, highs and lows... I have to live with it (and now I'm starting to dread the next update... just a little bit :)
Let's see if I can post something less boring soon, perhaps a picture or two, OK?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Before Sunset
OK dear readers. Jo(e) asked and I immediately complied.
I think you do deserve the photos, I was just too tired yesterday to include any more :)
This is the beautiful farm located right behind
the gas station (the ubiquitous [here] Wawa).
At least two cars stopped to take pictures
while we were there trying to fix the car.
I think you do deserve the photos, I was just too tired yesterday to include any more :)
This is the beautiful farm located right behindthe gas station (the ubiquitous [here] Wawa).
At least two cars stopped to take pictures
while we were there trying to fix the car.
Half smile, half yawn.
Walking on the picnic table with the farm in the background.
Nowadays if I want to take a picture with them,I have to hold them tight, or else they'll be on the move, of course!
(Edited to add: I don't like very much how I look in this picture , so for some of you who may have missed a better one in the blog, here's the link :)
The boys tried to help fix the car as well!
Here's Kelvin, brushing his teeth for the 10th timewhile jumping from one bed to the other.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Stranded
Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny fall day (a little chilly, and windy, but nice) , following a rainy, stormy day on Saturday, so we went sightseeing with my parents. They help me out all week, taking care of the house and the kids, so we try to get them to do some "tourism" once in a while :)
While I'm at it, perhaps I should say that my parents love to travel, to walk or drive around and explore new places (so much so that my mom hates the American highways, she claims they all look the same and she can't really sightsee or explore at all) - and I totally incoporated these characteristics from them.
Anyway, we decided to go to Lancaster County ("Amish Country"), which is less than an hour and a half away. This time I let my DH look up places to visit, and decide where to go. We decided to start with something that would give us a "feel" for the Amish way of life, and the "Amish Farm" and "Amish Village" promised that. DH said that from what he read, the Farm was the a more accurate portrait, and an actual house and farm, so we went there. However, when we got to the place, look what we found:
We were utterly disgusted!! Yes, a Target store has just been built right beside it.
Now I understand why they only have two dated pictures in their website (which I only checked today):
The first from 1957, the second from 2004.
They are working on the land in front of the house, it looks like a large construction site, but nothing can be done about the SIDE of the house and farm. The curb of Target's parking lot is like 2 feet from the house!!! I couldn't believe it! Look at the sign for the place, barely visible beside the retail giant's sign:
Maybe some people will be happy to park right behind Target on their way to visit a farm that showcases the way of life of the very simple and modernity adverse Amish, but we just couldn't bear to do it, and we visited the Amish Village instead. We then drove through Strasburg, where my son (a train fanatic) visited the ChooChoo Barn with daddy while and I, my parents and the napping "baby" drove around enjoying the scenery. We concluded we'd have to go back some other time to visit the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania because it couldn't be done in an hour (I guess my son's love of trains has contaminated all of us :)
When we were ready to drive home (after filling the tank with "cheaper" gas - 2.28/gal versus 2.68 around here), we noticed that there was a problem with the brakes in one of the rear wheels. Actually, I had already noticed a funny, rubbery smoke smell on our drive there, but DH had said it wasn't our car. DH and my dad took out the wheel and realized that the brake wouldn't "release" the wheel, remaining stuck at most times. While they did that, we enjoyed the view of a farm right behind the station and took many pictures of the boys in the beautiful sunset light (but enough pictures for this post, OK?).
We decided to keep on going, even though we knew that the wheel was getting extremely hot, when DH saw a garage/shop that was open. He dropped us off at a grocery store so we'd be warm (it was pretty cold by this time) and went there with my dad. I couldn't believe it when he called saying that the problem was serious and we wouldn't be able to drive home last night. We'd never been stranded before, much less with two kids and parents in tow! No rental cars were available, and the guy at the shop was kind enough to drive us to a motel with his friend. Even motels were hard to find, we stopped by two before calling and finding out about one that had room or was open. I had bought food and some first necessity items at the store (Kelvin loved his 50 cents new toothbrush and brushed his teeth, stopping once in a while to eat, some 5 times), but it's never fun to sleep in street clothes with excited kids who don't really want to sleep, just run around the bedroom and bathroom, enjoying their novelty. Linton nursed all night long...
This morning we rented a car and drove home (DH will return the rental and pick up our car tomorrow), and I was barely able to work this afternoon, I was so tired!! But it felt really, really good to come home, better than ever before!
While I'm at it, perhaps I should say that my parents love to travel, to walk or drive around and explore new places (so much so that my mom hates the American highways, she claims they all look the same and she can't really sightsee or explore at all) - and I totally incoporated these characteristics from them.
Anyway, we decided to go to Lancaster County ("Amish Country"), which is less than an hour and a half away. This time I let my DH look up places to visit, and decide where to go. We decided to start with something that would give us a "feel" for the Amish way of life, and the "Amish Farm" and "Amish Village" promised that. DH said that from what he read, the Farm was the a more accurate portrait, and an actual house and farm, so we went there. However, when we got to the place, look what we found:
We were utterly disgusted!! Yes, a Target store has just been built right beside it.Now I understand why they only have two dated pictures in their website (which I only checked today):
The first from 1957, the second from 2004.
They are working on the land in front of the house, it looks like a large construction site, but nothing can be done about the SIDE of the house and farm. The curb of Target's parking lot is like 2 feet from the house!!! I couldn't believe it! Look at the sign for the place, barely visible beside the retail giant's sign:
Maybe some people will be happy to park right behind Target on their way to visit a farm that showcases the way of life of the very simple and modernity adverse Amish, but we just couldn't bear to do it, and we visited the Amish Village instead. We then drove through Strasburg, where my son (a train fanatic) visited the ChooChoo Barn with daddy while and I, my parents and the napping "baby" drove around enjoying the scenery. We concluded we'd have to go back some other time to visit the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania because it couldn't be done in an hour (I guess my son's love of trains has contaminated all of us :)When we were ready to drive home (after filling the tank with "cheaper" gas - 2.28/gal versus 2.68 around here), we noticed that there was a problem with the brakes in one of the rear wheels. Actually, I had already noticed a funny, rubbery smoke smell on our drive there, but DH had said it wasn't our car. DH and my dad took out the wheel and realized that the brake wouldn't "release" the wheel, remaining stuck at most times. While they did that, we enjoyed the view of a farm right behind the station and took many pictures of the boys in the beautiful sunset light (but enough pictures for this post, OK?).
We decided to keep on going, even though we knew that the wheel was getting extremely hot, when DH saw a garage/shop that was open. He dropped us off at a grocery store so we'd be warm (it was pretty cold by this time) and went there with my dad. I couldn't believe it when he called saying that the problem was serious and we wouldn't be able to drive home last night. We'd never been stranded before, much less with two kids and parents in tow! No rental cars were available, and the guy at the shop was kind enough to drive us to a motel with his friend. Even motels were hard to find, we stopped by two before calling and finding out about one that had room or was open. I had bought food and some first necessity items at the store (Kelvin loved his 50 cents new toothbrush and brushed his teeth, stopping once in a while to eat, some 5 times), but it's never fun to sleep in street clothes with excited kids who don't really want to sleep, just run around the bedroom and bathroom, enjoying their novelty. Linton nursed all night long...
This morning we rented a car and drove home (DH will return the rental and pick up our car tomorrow), and I was barely able to work this afternoon, I was so tired!! But it felt really, really good to come home, better than ever before!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Getting Feedback or... Dissertatin' - Update #2
Updated title (10/24) same content.
(preamble)
First, I'm all better from the cough, but still worried about getting a sore throat again... I hope not!
Second, many people in my blogroll posted not once, but twice today, and I'm kind of upset that I have been working on three or four posts without getting any of them out there, so here it goes... (this one I started on Saturday night, 10/15)
(end of preamble)
Is it just me or is it just as hard for anyone else to get feedback, particularly on their writing?
I'm sure there was more to say, but at least I posted, got it out of my system, and I feel relieved. Do you have any feedback to give me? :D
(preamble)
First, I'm all better from the cough, but still worried about getting a sore throat again... I hope not!
Second, many people in my blogroll posted not once, but twice today, and I'm kind of upset that I have been working on three or four posts without getting any of them out there, so here it goes... (this one I started on Saturday night, 10/15)
(end of preamble)
Is it just me or is it just as hard for anyone else to get feedback, particularly on their writing?
Some background information on myself. I usually am a very sensitive person, the type of person who can’t be scolded without getting to the point of tears. Therefore, I’ve always tried to do everything right, so I don’t need to be corrected. That’s NOT how writing works, though, and I know that, the rational part of my brain keeps telling myself that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m aware that good writing needs tons of revision, and constant rewriting, but that’s not how the other part of me feels when I get feedback (or at least certain kinds of feedback). It’s not that I think what I write is good; it’s just that it takes such effort to write that I feel sensitive about the writing.
Bottom line... this week I'm having a TERRIBLE time working. I just don't feel like writing, I just want to throw everything up in the air, give up. I've managed to pull myself together enough to go over the annotations very carefully, do the necessary changes, and then, I started working on the chapter again. But it's been going really slowly. I'm hoping it will get better, because if it doesn't, it's going to be a NIGHTMARE to finish this dissertation. Well, at least I know I will keep working until early December when I travel to Brazil. I will definitely keep my timetable and deadlines, no matter how bad the feedback. I don't think it can get worse than this, so it might as well get better, or I may just learn to cope and deal with this.I'm sure there was more to say, but at least I posted, got it out of my system, and I feel relieved. Do you have any feedback to give me? :D
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Cough, cough, cough...
Stopping by quickly to say I've been having a terrible cough for almost a week now. Nights are not easy, and I haven't been sleeping well (to top it off, Linton's teething again, and has been waking up more often at night, and crying too).
The weird thing is, I don't know if it's the cough, but I have been having trouble falling asleep lately - something which has never been much of a problem to me (except that I usually stay up late, and don't feel sleepy until way after midnight). What's strange is that I haven't slept in several days this week as I usually do to compensate the lack of night sleep, but I haven't felt tired at all. I feel wired, strangely energized. I guess it's just the "momentum" of working on the dissertation -- but that's another story, I'm still working on a post about what's going on in that front.
Oh, yeah, before I forget, the annoying part of being sick with my parents here is the advice. Old-fashioned advice. Things I hear all the time: "Go put some socks on, that's why you're coughing!" "You shouldn't go outside without a coat, it's chilly out there!" "What? Are you washing your hair at night? That will make your cough get worse!" "You shouldn't be drinking ice water, that's why you don't get better" (this because I like my water "just right" (for me): 2/3 room temperature filtered water, 1/3 ice water), and so on and so forth... Am I going to be like that with my kids? I hope not!
To end on a brighter note, Linton has been saying so many new words lately! I think he says around 3 new words a day. Today's are: "oto" (outro - other), "tudo" (all/everything), "mais" (more), "por" (put). It's so exciting! I have recorded about 65 words (he's 16 months and a half), not bad, huh?
The weird thing is, I don't know if it's the cough, but I have been having trouble falling asleep lately - something which has never been much of a problem to me (except that I usually stay up late, and don't feel sleepy until way after midnight). What's strange is that I haven't slept in several days this week as I usually do to compensate the lack of night sleep, but I haven't felt tired at all. I feel wired, strangely energized. I guess it's just the "momentum" of working on the dissertation -- but that's another story, I'm still working on a post about what's going on in that front.
Oh, yeah, before I forget, the annoying part of being sick with my parents here is the advice. Old-fashioned advice. Things I hear all the time: "Go put some socks on, that's why you're coughing!" "You shouldn't go outside without a coat, it's chilly out there!" "What? Are you washing your hair at night? That will make your cough get worse!" "You shouldn't be drinking ice water, that's why you don't get better" (this because I like my water "just right" (for me): 2/3 room temperature filtered water, 1/3 ice water), and so on and so forth... Am I going to be like that with my kids? I hope not!
To end on a brighter note, Linton has been saying so many new words lately! I think he says around 3 new words a day. Today's are: "oto" (outro - other), "tudo" (all/everything), "mais" (more), "por" (put). It's so exciting! I have recorded about 65 words (he's 16 months and a half), not bad, huh?
Monday, October 10, 2005
Dissertatin' - Update #1
Well, since I started working in earnest, and I even have a timetable (I pasted it near my computer screen yesterday, I even added some "motivational" stickers :) I will be updating on my progress periodically.
Last Friday I emailed the first draft of Chapter 1 (Introduction and Methodology) to my advisor. He's sending it in the mail this week (yeah, I know, why not revise it electronically - but he read it very quickly, so I'm not complaining, I think I'm lucky right now). I'm working on a rough draft of Chapter 2 to be sent out this Friday.
Other than that, I'm still recovering from a sore throat and a cold I had last week (must have caught it from you ABDmom, through reading your blog :) I'm pretty hoarse, which I hate, and coughing a bit (which I hate even more).
The boys are OK. I should post some pictures, shouldn't I? I'll think about it. I didn't have time to work on my promised "upcoming" posts, but I'll try to this week.
I feel very energized because I'm being productive. I never thought I'd ever feel positive about writing the dissertation, and I'm surprised by it. I can't help but have a vague dread that this positive outlook will change soon. But, perhaps, if I keep on working and don't let negative thoughts and feeling of guilt get hold of me, I'll be able to 1)feel energized and positive and keep working; 2) eventually finish!
I can't even believe that I may actually finish next year. I hope with all my heart that finishing, defending and graduating (if I can make the April 30 deadline) will feel as good or even better than "getting to work" feels now. I fear that the endless rewriting and revision that lie ahead after I'm done with the first drafts will suck the energy, joy and hope out of me, and then, when I get to the finish line, it will be anti-climatic. How was it to other people I wonder? (anyone reading this is done? how did it feel? Should I hope for a "happy ending" feeling or is it really as anti-climatic as I think it must be?)
I just wish I knew ahead, but I guess I just have to live through it. One step at a time.
Last Friday I emailed the first draft of Chapter 1 (Introduction and Methodology) to my advisor. He's sending it in the mail this week (yeah, I know, why not revise it electronically - but he read it very quickly, so I'm not complaining, I think I'm lucky right now). I'm working on a rough draft of Chapter 2 to be sent out this Friday.
Other than that, I'm still recovering from a sore throat and a cold I had last week (must have caught it from you ABDmom, through reading your blog :) I'm pretty hoarse, which I hate, and coughing a bit (which I hate even more).
The boys are OK. I should post some pictures, shouldn't I? I'll think about it. I didn't have time to work on my promised "upcoming" posts, but I'll try to this week.
I feel very energized because I'm being productive. I never thought I'd ever feel positive about writing the dissertation, and I'm surprised by it. I can't help but have a vague dread that this positive outlook will change soon. But, perhaps, if I keep on working and don't let negative thoughts and feeling of guilt get hold of me, I'll be able to 1)feel energized and positive and keep working; 2) eventually finish!
I can't even believe that I may actually finish next year. I hope with all my heart that finishing, defending and graduating (if I can make the April 30 deadline) will feel as good or even better than "getting to work" feels now. I fear that the endless rewriting and revision that lie ahead after I'm done with the first drafts will suck the energy, joy and hope out of me, and then, when I get to the finish line, it will be anti-climatic. How was it to other people I wonder? (anyone reading this is done? how did it feel? Should I hope for a "happy ending" feeling or is it really as anti-climatic as I think it must be?)
I just wish I knew ahead, but I guess I just have to live through it. One step at a time.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Fall is here - my first "quiz"
| You Are Changing Leaves |
 |
I decided to put this one here because it's pretty. And I do love fall leaves!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Arguing with a 16 month-old... useless
Speaking of milk (see Kateri's comment on previous post), two days ago Linton decided that what he gets when he breastfeeds (my milk) is "água" (water - he pronounces it perfectly too!).
He's at that phase when he uses "general" names for different categories of things, e.g. because he loves dogs, "au-au" (bow-wow or barf-barf) is his name for all animals; he calls every single fruit "banana"; "piu-iiii" (pew-eeee - train noise) is his name both for trains, trucks and buses, etc.
But I did take an issue with my milk being called water, and decided to argue with him at teach him to say milk ("leite"). So, now, whenever he wants to nurse, our conversation usually goes like this (and today's post finally makes this blog's name make total sense, since here I am -- finally! -- translating my interactions with my son):
"Mamá!" [Nurse! - it's pronounced like mother in Spanish: mama'] he exclaims, pointing to my breasts.
"Oh, você quer o leite da mamãe?" [Do you want your mama's milk?] I ask.
"Água, água!" [water, water] he replies.
"Não!! é leite, não água! Leite, sim!" [No, it's milk, not water! Yes, milk!]
"Não! Água, água!" [No, water, water] he insists, shaking his head to emphasize the "no".
"É leite, sim!" [Yes, it is milk!] I insist.
"Água, água!" [Water, water!] He insists...
and this goes on and on... etc, etc, etc.
..............
I give up!!
Oh, I forgot to mention that he has been drinking water in a regular cup for a while, and that "agua" was the very first word he said (referring to his bathwater). Last night I even took him to the sink, and showed him the water, saying "This is water, mama has milk" but it didn't make any difference to him. He knows what water is, but for him at this stage, any liquid is called water. Eventually, he'll figure out the difference, I know. Meanwhile, we'll keep arguing... it's fun :)
He's at that phase when he uses "general" names for different categories of things, e.g. because he loves dogs, "au-au" (bow-wow or barf-barf) is his name for all animals; he calls every single fruit "banana"; "piu-iiii" (pew-eeee - train noise) is his name both for trains, trucks and buses, etc.
But I did take an issue with my milk being called water, and decided to argue with him at teach him to say milk ("leite"). So, now, whenever he wants to nurse, our conversation usually goes like this (and today's post finally makes this blog's name make total sense, since here I am -- finally! -- translating my interactions with my son):
"Mamá!" [Nurse! - it's pronounced like mother in Spanish: mama'] he exclaims, pointing to my breasts.
"Oh, você quer o leite da mamãe?" [Do you want your mama's milk?] I ask.
"Água, água!" [water, water] he replies.
"Não!! é leite, não água! Leite, sim!" [No, it's milk, not water! Yes, milk!]
"Não! Água, água!" [No, water, water] he insists, shaking his head to emphasize the "no".
"É leite, sim!" [Yes, it is milk!] I insist.
"Água, água!" [Water, water!] He insists...
and this goes on and on... etc, etc, etc.
..............
I give up!!
Oh, I forgot to mention that he has been drinking water in a regular cup for a while, and that "agua" was the very first word he said (referring to his bathwater). Last night I even took him to the sink, and showed him the water, saying "This is water, mama has milk" but it didn't make any difference to him. He knows what water is, but for him at this stage, any liquid is called water. Eventually, he'll figure out the difference, I know. Meanwhile, we'll keep arguing... it's fun :)
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
A couple of firsts
Just a quick note to say I just attended my first LLL (La Leche League) meeting. I enjoyed it very much, it feels great to be in a room full of mothers, babies and toddlers, several of whom are nursing right there and then. I actually missed my sons, who were napping in the car with my parents outside (they did come in at the end, though). I will certainly be an assiduous participant from now on, and will become a member as well.
The second "first" was meeting a blogger I read and enjoy a lot in person for the first time. It was really nice to meet you Kate, and Naomi too!! I hope to see more of you in the future :)
Well, that's it for now... I NEED to work, since I already missed the whole morning (I say this as if I worked the whole morning, I usually don't start until 11 am, because I always stay up REALLY late, and sleep in until 9:30-10. So, I missed some 3 hours, that's it).
The second "first" was meeting a blogger I read and enjoy a lot in person for the first time. It was really nice to meet you Kate, and Naomi too!! I hope to see more of you in the future :)
Well, that's it for now... I NEED to work, since I already missed the whole morning (I say this as if I worked the whole morning, I usually don't start until 11 am, because I always stay up REALLY late, and sleep in until 9:30-10. So, I missed some 3 hours, that's it).
My mornings are glorious
I haven't posted lately because I'm working on the dissertation, yes, I am. It's not been easy, writing never is, but I think it's even worse for me than for most people, given my greatest-procrastinator-in-the-world fame. But I have been writing everyday, and will submit the first draft of the first chapter to my advisor this Friday. Wish me luck.
So... I thought I'd show you how my "wild things" are doing. With the cooler (and actually splendid) weather, we've been enjoying our morning glories during the whole day lately!
Their color matches the sky's.
This picture was taken through my living room window screen.
I like the effect.
This is Blues, our cat.
I can't believe I never wrote about him. He's beautiful, isn't him? I'll include more pictures of him in the future. Promise.
Sneak preview: pregnancy, birth and breasfeeding experience posts coming up!!
So... I thought I'd show you how my "wild things" are doing. With the cooler (and actually splendid) weather, we've been enjoying our morning glories during the whole day lately!
OK, take a look:
They have completely overtaken the right side of the porch
(the vines on the other side didn't do too well because of the poorer soil in the pot)
They have completely overtaken the right side of the porch(the vines on the other side didn't do too well because of the poorer soil in the pot)
Their color matches the sky's.
This picture was taken through my living room window screen.I like the effect.
This is Blues, our cat.I can't believe I never wrote about him. He's beautiful, isn't him? I'll include more pictures of him in the future. Promise.
Sneak preview: pregnancy, birth and breasfeeding experience posts coming up!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Would you like to have a meal in a public bathroom?
I started this post last Friday, but we had to travel to D.C./Maryland (we went to my uncle's house and then helped out and participate of my nephew's first birthday party).
I know I'm a little "late" reacting to this, but I just can't let it go!! Kateri (at Wet Feet) linked to an article in a recent post which made me SO upset, so angry that I just had to write about it. To save you time, so you don't need to register in the "Philadelphia Daily News" to read, I'll do what Julie (at Woman in the Mirror) did for a recent NY Times article (the link is to her DotMoms post that has the NYT article about Ivy league female students who plan to quit their jobs when they become moms)
[That's another issue worth thinking and writing about, but lots of people have done so already, for example, Playground revolution and Mothershock, and Swisslovebaby's latest post is related to the issue as well]
I'm pasting the article below and adding my comments in italics.
First, a comment: I respect any mother's choice in terms of breasfeeding or using formula for their babies, I just think that breasfeeding does not receive enough support in many places of the world, particularly here in the U.S. and this lack of support from people such as this writer/lawyer and Barbara Walters makes it even harder for moms to breasfeed. Later in the post I'll share my own experience (if there's room).
--------------
Posted in the Philadelphia Daily News on Monday Sep. 19, 2005.
Written by Christine M. Flowers
LACTOSE INTOLERANT
THE OTHER DAY, I was counseling a client on her legal options when, without pausing to ask if I minded, she lifted her blouse and began to breast-feed her infant daughter.
Taken aback and not wanting to interrupt the child's meal, I guided the consultation to a swift conclusion.
There would have been no problem had the client asked if she could excuse herself and take the child to our bathroom or to a vacant office. What irritated me was the assumption that her right to nurse the infant trumped any obligation on her part to be courteous and ask, "Do you mind?"
Why is it implied that's necessary to ask permission to breastfeed? Does anyone need permission to bottle feed, or even to eat? Why only a bathroom or an empty room?
When I read this I immediately recalled that last year I breastfed my 1 m. old at our lawyer's office on the day that we closed on the sale of our house. For a split-second I thought about asking, but then just went ahead and did it.
I would never presume to tell someone what they could do in their bed, in their bathtub or at their dinner table. But what I expect and demand is that people not force their own militant preferences on me in public places.
OK, does it mean one can only breastfeed at home? Why is it that breastfeeding is a "militant preference" and not a "natural way to feed a child"? WOW, "forcing" is very strong language! And as far as I know, it is LAW that women can breastfeed wherever they're allowed in public with babies (which is almost everywhere).
I actually started this piece at least three times, searching for an inoffensive way to say it.
It's very clear that you haven't found an inoffensive way, far from it.
There was the sensible, statistic-driven approach that emphasized the overwhelming health benefits of breast milk. Too safe, I decided.
There was the acknowledgment that nursing was a unique form of love, representing the eternal bond between mother and child. Too cliched, I thought.
There was even an attempt at humor, as in "I really need to get this off my chest." (Who was it that told me puns were the indication of a deficient mind?)
But the only way to say it is boldly and without apology, girding myself for the onslaught of criticism from the La Leche activists:
Women shouldn't breast-feed wherever they choose.
What??? Well, at least you said it, you didn't come out with that "I felt uncomfortable" talk of a Barbara Walters. And I think you were corageous. But why, then? Let's read on and see if your arguments hold.
If I'd said, "Men shouldn't urinate in public," it's unlikely that anyone would vociferously object. But I feel the backs stiffen and the claws unsheath at the mere suggestion that nursing is a private affair.
Infants are magnificent creatures. While certain specimens may eventually turn out to be unpleasant (e.g., the ones who develop into adults like Paris Hilton and Michael Moore), the consensus is that they bring joy and hope for the future.
Without them, in fact, there would be no future. So it is important for us to do whatever we can to ensure their survival.
At a minimum, they need to be fed. Newborns have a lot of time on their hands since they don't hold down jobs, drive or fret about the state of the world, so eating becomes disproportionately important to them. They crave nutrition on an hourly basis, regardless of where they might be.
For nursing infants, "appetizer-entree-dessert" is wherever mommy happens to be when the urge strikes. So unless nursing mothers agree to be trapped in their homes for the first year of junior's life, they sometimes have to breast-feed in public.
OK, that's not a very pleasant option. What would you suggest then, if women should NOT breastfeed in public?
That's not the problem. Women should be permitted to nurse unobtrusively in restrooms and other public places specifically designated for the purpose.
Oh... all right. Woud YOU want to eat in the bathroom, sitting in the toilet? Looking at that dirty floor, enjoying that clean, spacious, inviting space? Public places specifically designated for the purpose? Sometimes it's hard enough to find changing tables in certain public places, let alone a private place where one can sit comfortably.
The craving for nutrition and the ability to satisfy it are natural and beautiful, as are a woman's breasts. The problem arises when an essentially private activity becomes part of the public domain.
Why is breasfeeding "an essentially private activity"? It has to be because of the way our society views breasts, or maybe it goes deeper than that - many people feel bothered by the presence of young children, or babies who are not quiet, and cry or scream in public places - it seems our society is not comfortable with the presence of mothers/fathers and young children, and breasfeeding is only an obvious target because it is not such a prevalent practice or choice (unfortunately) .
There are, of course, ways to accommodate both modesty and utility, allowing breast-feeding in certain areas and prohibiting it in others, just as we do with any activity that encroaches on the public domain, like smoking and playing loud music.
Wow, does breasfeeding unsettle people so much that it lends itself to a comparison with an activity that actually harms other people's health such as smoking, or constitutes a kind of "auditorial polution" (loud music)? And it should be thus prohibited from certain places? It's just like prohibiting a mother with young baby to go to those places! (she does try to respond to this in the next sentence)
To those who resent the implication that breast-feeding might be as annoying as cigarettes and blaring hip-hop, I say that bared breasts can make some people very uncomfortable, even when a child is attached to one of them.
Usually, unless the child is very restless, there are no "bared breasts", only a little bit of a nipple when the latch on is taking place. More often one sees part of the mother's belly. Actually, it seems to be rather that people are "more uncomfortable" when there's a child is "attached to them", not "even when" one is.
There is also the option of using a breast pump to express the milk at home, and then using a bottle in public. This way, the child gains all of the benefits of mother's milk while society is spared the sight of a human Playtex nurser.
Whoa! that last sentence was pretty forceful. Society needs to be SPARED THE SIGHT of a nursing mother? A "human bottle"? About pumping, does she have any idea what she's saying? Pumping is wonderful, very useful for those who work or those (such as myself) whose infants aren't able to nurse for some reason (prematurity, inability to latch on, and so on), but pumping is a bit of a hassle. I pumped for 8 months and 5 months for each of my sons because I wanted them to eat cereal with my milk, but it was quite a hassle to find a suitable time, when I had enough milk supply to pump, and I was not busy caring for my children (in my particular case, I never needed to give my sons bottles, I was always around them).
When I mentioned this to a friend, she looked at me in horror and said, "But then people would think I was feeding my child formula!" It was as if I'd accused her of being Jim Jones on a Kool-Aid jag.
That seems to be the problem with many nursing mothers - it's more about the image than about the child.
No, I don't think it's all about the image. Her friend is right - unfortunately there's a lot of terrible criticism from mother to mother, but in no way I think mothers choose to breasfeed because of the "image". Some may start out that way, but if that's their real motivation, they probably don't continue for very long. I think that's a very weak argument about/against breasfeeding.
And at the risk of sounding deficient, it feels good to get that off my chest.
Well, yes, in the end, it's good you wrote this. I can only imagine how many people, probably thousands and thousands, if not millions of them think the same way but are "polite enough" to refrain from expressing their views. That's why I feel that many women feel too intimidated to even nurse their babies. They interiorize this and think it's kind of "unnatural" -- because if something is not legitimized by being allowed in public, people tend to shrink from it.
--------------
I don't know... I have no idea whether I'm making any sense in my counter-arguments either. I have decided to write another post to share my story. I don't think it fits in here anymore both because this post is too long already, and because I want it to be a positive post.
I know I'm a little "late" reacting to this, but I just can't let it go!! Kateri (at Wet Feet) linked to an article in a recent post which made me SO upset, so angry that I just had to write about it. To save you time, so you don't need to register in the "Philadelphia Daily News" to read, I'll do what Julie (at Woman in the Mirror) did for a recent NY Times article (the link is to her DotMoms post that has the NYT article about Ivy league female students who plan to quit their jobs when they become moms)
[That's another issue worth thinking and writing about, but lots of people have done so already, for example, Playground revolution and Mothershock, and Swisslovebaby's latest post is related to the issue as well]
I'm pasting the article below and adding my comments in italics.
First, a comment: I respect any mother's choice in terms of breasfeeding or using formula for their babies, I just think that breasfeeding does not receive enough support in many places of the world, particularly here in the U.S. and this lack of support from people such as this writer/lawyer and Barbara Walters makes it even harder for moms to breasfeed. Later in the post I'll share my own experience (if there's room).
--------------
Posted in the Philadelphia Daily News on Monday Sep. 19, 2005.
Written by Christine M. Flowers
LACTOSE INTOLERANT
THE OTHER DAY, I was counseling a client on her legal options when, without pausing to ask if I minded, she lifted her blouse and began to breast-feed her infant daughter.
Taken aback and not wanting to interrupt the child's meal, I guided the consultation to a swift conclusion.
There would have been no problem had the client asked if she could excuse herself and take the child to our bathroom or to a vacant office. What irritated me was the assumption that her right to nurse the infant trumped any obligation on her part to be courteous and ask, "Do you mind?"
Why is it implied that's necessary to ask permission to breastfeed? Does anyone need permission to bottle feed, or even to eat? Why only a bathroom or an empty room?
When I read this I immediately recalled that last year I breastfed my 1 m. old at our lawyer's office on the day that we closed on the sale of our house. For a split-second I thought about asking, but then just went ahead and did it.
I would never presume to tell someone what they could do in their bed, in their bathtub or at their dinner table. But what I expect and demand is that people not force their own militant preferences on me in public places.
OK, does it mean one can only breastfeed at home? Why is it that breastfeeding is a "militant preference" and not a "natural way to feed a child"? WOW, "forcing" is very strong language! And as far as I know, it is LAW that women can breastfeed wherever they're allowed in public with babies (which is almost everywhere).
I actually started this piece at least three times, searching for an inoffensive way to say it.
It's very clear that you haven't found an inoffensive way, far from it.
There was the sensible, statistic-driven approach that emphasized the overwhelming health benefits of breast milk. Too safe, I decided.
There was the acknowledgment that nursing was a unique form of love, representing the eternal bond between mother and child. Too cliched, I thought.
There was even an attempt at humor, as in "I really need to get this off my chest." (Who was it that told me puns were the indication of a deficient mind?)
But the only way to say it is boldly and without apology, girding myself for the onslaught of criticism from the La Leche activists:
Women shouldn't breast-feed wherever they choose.
What??? Well, at least you said it, you didn't come out with that "I felt uncomfortable" talk of a Barbara Walters. And I think you were corageous. But why, then? Let's read on and see if your arguments hold.
If I'd said, "Men shouldn't urinate in public," it's unlikely that anyone would vociferously object. But I feel the backs stiffen and the claws unsheath at the mere suggestion that nursing is a private affair.
Infants are magnificent creatures. While certain specimens may eventually turn out to be unpleasant (e.g., the ones who develop into adults like Paris Hilton and Michael Moore), the consensus is that they bring joy and hope for the future.
Without them, in fact, there would be no future. So it is important for us to do whatever we can to ensure their survival.
At a minimum, they need to be fed. Newborns have a lot of time on their hands since they don't hold down jobs, drive or fret about the state of the world, so eating becomes disproportionately important to them. They crave nutrition on an hourly basis, regardless of where they might be.
For nursing infants, "appetizer-entree-dessert" is wherever mommy happens to be when the urge strikes. So unless nursing mothers agree to be trapped in their homes for the first year of junior's life, they sometimes have to breast-feed in public.
OK, that's not a very pleasant option. What would you suggest then, if women should NOT breastfeed in public?
That's not the problem. Women should be permitted to nurse unobtrusively in restrooms and other public places specifically designated for the purpose.
Oh... all right. Woud YOU want to eat in the bathroom, sitting in the toilet? Looking at that dirty floor, enjoying that clean, spacious, inviting space? Public places specifically designated for the purpose? Sometimes it's hard enough to find changing tables in certain public places, let alone a private place where one can sit comfortably.
The craving for nutrition and the ability to satisfy it are natural and beautiful, as are a woman's breasts. The problem arises when an essentially private activity becomes part of the public domain.
Why is breasfeeding "an essentially private activity"? It has to be because of the way our society views breasts, or maybe it goes deeper than that - many people feel bothered by the presence of young children, or babies who are not quiet, and cry or scream in public places - it seems our society is not comfortable with the presence of mothers/fathers and young children, and breasfeeding is only an obvious target because it is not such a prevalent practice or choice (unfortunately) .
There are, of course, ways to accommodate both modesty and utility, allowing breast-feeding in certain areas and prohibiting it in others, just as we do with any activity that encroaches on the public domain, like smoking and playing loud music.
Wow, does breasfeeding unsettle people so much that it lends itself to a comparison with an activity that actually harms other people's health such as smoking, or constitutes a kind of "auditorial polution" (loud music)? And it should be thus prohibited from certain places? It's just like prohibiting a mother with young baby to go to those places! (she does try to respond to this in the next sentence)
To those who resent the implication that breast-feeding might be as annoying as cigarettes and blaring hip-hop, I say that bared breasts can make some people very uncomfortable, even when a child is attached to one of them.
Usually, unless the child is very restless, there are no "bared breasts", only a little bit of a nipple when the latch on is taking place. More often one sees part of the mother's belly. Actually, it seems to be rather that people are "more uncomfortable" when there's a child is "attached to them", not "even when" one is.
There is also the option of using a breast pump to express the milk at home, and then using a bottle in public. This way, the child gains all of the benefits of mother's milk while society is spared the sight of a human Playtex nurser.
Whoa! that last sentence was pretty forceful. Society needs to be SPARED THE SIGHT of a nursing mother? A "human bottle"? About pumping, does she have any idea what she's saying? Pumping is wonderful, very useful for those who work or those (such as myself) whose infants aren't able to nurse for some reason (prematurity, inability to latch on, and so on), but pumping is a bit of a hassle. I pumped for 8 months and 5 months for each of my sons because I wanted them to eat cereal with my milk, but it was quite a hassle to find a suitable time, when I had enough milk supply to pump, and I was not busy caring for my children (in my particular case, I never needed to give my sons bottles, I was always around them).
When I mentioned this to a friend, she looked at me in horror and said, "But then people would think I was feeding my child formula!" It was as if I'd accused her of being Jim Jones on a Kool-Aid jag.
That seems to be the problem with many nursing mothers - it's more about the image than about the child.
No, I don't think it's all about the image. Her friend is right - unfortunately there's a lot of terrible criticism from mother to mother, but in no way I think mothers choose to breasfeed because of the "image". Some may start out that way, but if that's their real motivation, they probably don't continue for very long. I think that's a very weak argument about/against breasfeeding.
And at the risk of sounding deficient, it feels good to get that off my chest.
Well, yes, in the end, it's good you wrote this. I can only imagine how many people, probably thousands and thousands, if not millions of them think the same way but are "polite enough" to refrain from expressing their views. That's why I feel that many women feel too intimidated to even nurse their babies. They interiorize this and think it's kind of "unnatural" -- because if something is not legitimized by being allowed in public, people tend to shrink from it.
--------------
I don't know... I have no idea whether I'm making any sense in my counter-arguments either. I have decided to write another post to share my story. I don't think it fits in here anymore both because this post is too long already, and because I want it to be a positive post.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Dissertatin'
Finally I'm doing some progress in the dissertation work (sigh). I should be making even more progress from now on, because I bought a couple of books that are actually very useful: this more recent one and this older one (which doesn't even mention computers :) Edited to add: he doesn't mention computers for word processing, he does write about computer use for the analysis of data (available in 1981)
I'm not a very organized person, and the worst procrastinator you can think of, but I need to finish, and I will. I may not be able to do it on time to defend and file by April 30 in order to participate of the commencement in May, but I think I can do it at the latest by the end of next summer. Maybe it helps that I'm writing about this here, with an audience (however small :) . It sounds like I'm making a pledge. I'll keep you updated about this.
Some fun stuff:
Last Sunday we went to the beach again, this time for the whole day. We went to Island Beach State Park (NJ), and it was great! Maybe I'll add some pics to this post later...
Now... back to work!
I'm not a very organized person, and the worst procrastinator you can think of, but I need to finish, and I will. I may not be able to do it on time to defend and file by April 30 in order to participate of the commencement in May, but I think I can do it at the latest by the end of next summer. Maybe it helps that I'm writing about this here, with an audience (however small :) . It sounds like I'm making a pledge. I'll keep you updated about this.
Some fun stuff:
Last Sunday we went to the beach again, this time for the whole day. We went to Island Beach State Park (NJ), and it was great! Maybe I'll add some pics to this post later...
Now... back to work!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Potty problems – Help!!
I guess I liked asking questions, so here’s another one for all the Mamas out there :)
Kelvin (3 ½) has been sleeping without diapers for a week now (no accidents so far – he just got up late one night when I was still at the computer and I took him to the bathroom), and he’s been peeing in the toilet (standing up) quite effectively since last April when we came back from Brazil. Sometimes I have to remind him to go, or just take him there so he won’t get his pants wet, but he’s been getting better and better about going on his own, etc.
There’s just one little problem. When he needs to poop, he asks for a diaper. No amount of coaxing or bribing (we’ve promised tons of presents if he does it in the potty/ toilet) will make him even try to go and sit. I think part of the problem is that he learned to pee standing up from the start, and he also poops standing up (always hidden in a corner or in the bathroom) as well (that’s another reason why I think it’s easier with girls, or so they say).
Any advice? I really don’t know what to do. I mean, I’m just tired of wasting perfectly good [disposable] diapers. When he still used them at night, we’d keep the lightly wet diapers and use them later, since he only had them on for a minute or so… but now, it’s just such a waste! I have no idea if he has any “retention issues” or anything – he’s never been constipated, and for over a year now he knows exactly when he needs to have a BM. I know I have to be patient, and wait, and eventually he’ll learn to do it, but I’m really tired of this whole situation, and even more tired of trying to reason with him (other than that he’s a pretty “reasonable” little boy :)
Friday, September 16, 2005
Do you write on library books?
Why do people write on library books? I just got a pile of new books for the methodology part of my dissertation, and many of them, almost all of them, are written on. I know it's absolutely pathetic, but since most of these annotations and underlinings are in pencil, I find myself erasing pages upon pages of library books (sigh)... I also happen to be a fervent annotator, but for me, library books are kind of "sacred" or something. If I really need to write on it, I make a photocopy, but I mostly use post-it notes (which, by the way, librarians shun because I think they're not acid-free or have harmful chemicals and can damage the books - but I figure it's much better than writing on them).
Anyway, do you write on library books? Why? Or do you, like me, feel annoyed at the practice?
Anyway, do you write on library books? Why? Or do you, like me, feel annoyed at the practice?
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Better late than never, or Beach in September
So, we went to "the Shore" (the way they call the New Jersey coast here) yesterday. I've wanted to go to the beach all summer, but DH was working hard, and I didn't want to go on Sundays, because I knew there'd be terrible traffic (it's impossible to stay sane in traffic with a 1 year old :)Anyway, the day was hot (here at home the maximum temperature was to 34 C/ 93 F), and we had food prepared because my cousin came to visit Monday night/ Tuesday morning (that's another story). So we packed a pic-nic and went, me, my parents and the boys. I took the laptop, and even worked a bit on the way to Atlantic City (my parents wanted to go there). We drove around a bit so my parents could see the Casinos, and stuff (I should say that I don't like casinos at all, I HATED Vegas when we were there 2 years ago. Atlantic City is not that bad because there's the sea. I don't like the boardwalk very much either)... Anyway, we'd been there last year in October, and climbed the Absecon Lighthouse. From up there, we had a beautiful view of Brigantine beach:
So I decided to go there yesterday, after we'd driven around AC a bit. It was a very good choice. The beach had a wide (or should I say long?) strip of lot of sand, it was mostly empty, and the water was nice and almost warm! Even my mom, who is super sensitive to cold (she's super friorenta) went in a bit! Linton went crazy when he saw the waves coming, he laughed and tried to run into the water, we had to hold him back! My dad has back problems and LOVES to have a free massage from the waves, so he stayed in the water for the longest time possible. I went in with Linton (after he decided to lay down "taste the sand") and my dad he carried Kelvin, who's a little scared of the big crashing waves. We were there for around an hour and a half, and we were in the water most of that time. We left only because Linton was getting cold and cranky because he needed a nap. It was great! I love the sea, and just looking at the waves crashing lifts my spirits. Going into the water and feeling the white foam against my skin brings me back to all my childhood summers spent at the beach. I hope in the future our family will be able to enjoy several days at the beach each summer, not just one :) I'm saying this, but my MIL has already reserved a house for us to spend 10 days at the beach in Brazil in December - that will be great, I'm sure! I'm posting some pictures below.
PS. edited to add: as I was finishing this post, it was almost 2 am, not 9:32 - the time I saved my first draft of the post - the baby opened the bedroom door and walked out - I can't belive he's wide awake in the middle of the night!!! Well , I'll go to bed with him now, hopefully he'll remain asleep this time :)
So I decided to go there yesterday, after we'd driven around AC a bit. It was a very good choice. The beach had a wide (or should I say long?) strip of lot of sand, it was mostly empty, and the water was nice and almost warm! Even my mom, who is super sensitive to cold (she's super friorenta) went in a bit! Linton went crazy when he saw the waves coming, he laughed and tried to run into the water, we had to hold him back! My dad has back problems and LOVES to have a free massage from the waves, so he stayed in the water for the longest time possible. I went in with Linton (after he decided to lay down "taste the sand") and my dad he carried Kelvin, who's a little scared of the big crashing waves. We were there for around an hour and a half, and we were in the water most of that time. We left only because Linton was getting cold and cranky because he needed a nap. It was great! I love the sea, and just looking at the waves crashing lifts my spirits. Going into the water and feeling the white foam against my skin brings me back to all my childhood summers spent at the beach. I hope in the future our family will be able to enjoy several days at the beach each summer, not just one :) I'm saying this, but my MIL has already reserved a house for us to spend 10 days at the beach in Brazil in December - that will be great, I'm sure! I'm posting some pictures below.
PS. edited to add: as I was finishing this post, it was almost 2 am, not 9:32 - the time I saved my first draft of the post - the baby opened the bedroom door and walked out - I can't belive he's wide awake in the middle of the night!!! Well , I'll go to bed with him now, hopefully he'll remain asleep this time :)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Brasil
This is the Brazilian flag. The banner in the middle says “Order and Progress.” We learn in school that the green represents the forests, the yellow the gold, and the blue is obviously the sky, which features the “Southern Cross” as its most prominent constellation (oh, how I miss to see these stars in the familiar night sky under which I grew up).Today is
The country was named after Brazilwood, a red wood which provided a much sought after dye which the Portuguese exported to
There’s so much more… but I have to stop here. Both because I want to post this today, “Sete de Setembro” (Sept. seven), but because I need to go back to my work in the dissertation. I feel like posting tons of pictures of
Sunday, September 04, 2005
"Being Poor is..." - and I fall silent
I had to link to this, post by Whatever (John Scalzi), that I found at This woman's work. Don't forget to look at the comments, they go beyond what he wrote, and bring on even more poignancy and real life stories with other "being poor is" statements (discounting a few critics).
This all I can do here as my belated reaction to Katrina. We don't have cable, and we don't really watch TV, but the little I saw, the few minutes of NPR I listened to made incredibly upset.
I come from Brazil, and I know about poverty and need, but I just didn't expect to see a tragedy this disconcerting here in the U.S. Hopefully Americans will be more aware now of what has been happening under their noses (poor people without a way out), but maybe not. I can't believe how hard it is for people who don't know about "being poor" to understand what "being poor" entails. The other posts and links by John Scalzi about Katrina are worth reading as well. That someone could say those who stayed are partly responsible for their situation now? U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E!
And I fall silent. I can't even believe I ever thought of writing about class and blogs or something like that. I'm glad I didn't. What do I know about being poor, really?
This all I can do here as my belated reaction to Katrina. We don't have cable, and we don't really watch TV, but the little I saw, the few minutes of NPR I listened to made incredibly upset.
I come from Brazil, and I know about poverty and need, but I just didn't expect to see a tragedy this disconcerting here in the U.S. Hopefully Americans will be more aware now of what has been happening under their noses (poor people without a way out), but maybe not. I can't believe how hard it is for people who don't know about "being poor" to understand what "being poor" entails. The other posts and links by John Scalzi about Katrina are worth reading as well. That someone could say those who stayed are partly responsible for their situation now? U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E!
And I fall silent. I can't even believe I ever thought of writing about class and blogs or something like that. I'm glad I didn't. What do I know about being poor, really?
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Accidental Academic
Last week, on Monday, the day we took my DH (Dear Husband, DH from now on :) to the airport for his trip to Brazil, I told our son the following bed-time story:
"Once upon a time there was a boy named 'Daddy', when he started high school, he found out about this thing called Physics, and he liked it a lot. He had a great teacher, and did really well. Then he moved to another school, but still enjoyed studying Physics and became well-known in the school because of his high grades in Physics and Math. He decided to try to get into a Physics program in the university, and he got in [in Brazil you have to pass an entrance examination to get into the university/ college you want - each school has its own exam]. He had been studying there for two years when he met this girl called Lilian, and almost five years later they got married. Daddy and Mama graduated, and, later, they both came to the United States. Daddy started to continue studying Physics, and some years later, you were born. Then, when Daddy finished his Ph.D. we moved here so he could do be a Post Doc, and now he's going to Brazil to give a talk at these two universities close to where each of your grandparents live."
We usually tell him true stories from our lives at bedtime, silly things about different falls and hospital stays, and stiches and broken bones, those are the ones he enjoys the most. But since daddy was away, I thought it would be interesting to go over the whole story, which would explain why he was now travelling. And, of course, when he's tired, he falls asleep quickly and it doesn't really matter what you're talking about, just that you keep talking. I told it to myself, to remind me of how more "certain" my husband's trajectory has been. When he started, he never thought very seriously about becoming an academic, a researcher, but as he progressed, he found out he simply loved what he was doing, and became more and more invested in becoming a good scientist. I felt really excited for him, but for me, the opposite seemed true. I had always been passionate about what I was doing, and kind of always knew I wanted to become an academic. But in it's different in the humanities, there are just way too many people, and very few jobs. I was never the same after I read Invisible Adjunct and The Chronicle's articles she linked to. And then, I'm a mother, I spend all my time and my energy caring for my boys, and I love that more than the prospect of struggling to find my place in academia.
The trip, by the way, went OK. DH learned a lot about the academic job market in Brazil, which is completely different from here. It is hard to get an opening because many of the job opportunities open up simply for the universities to hire people who have been working there, but not in a tenure track position. He went this time, for example because he sent his CV and a letter expressing his interest in a position that might open at one of the only universities he'd like to work. We paid for the expenses ourselves. Anyway, after he gave the talk, he asked why they did that, and they explained that they wouldn't even open the position and officially advertise for it if they didn't like any of the candidates! He also gave a talk at the university that is close to his parents' house (the first one is close to where my parents live). While he was there he also finished writing the application for the Florida school, and I mailed that on Monday night. It's really too early to try for a job, but we just thought he should seize each opportunity from now own... and, as I already said. I like the suspense, I like this not knowing where life will bring us.
DH is coming back tomorrow morning. Last night I tried to tell my story as a bedtime story to our son, but I just couldn't. It doesn't have a happy ending yet, I haven't earned my degree, and I don't even think of the job market or anything. I feel sad about all of this. I have thought about my story many times. It's not a bad story at all, I don't really know why I feel so negatively about it. I'll try to tell it sometime. For now, I'll just say I've been feeling like an accidental academic. Maybe this should have been my blog's name...
"Once upon a time there was a boy named 'Daddy', when he started high school, he found out about this thing called Physics, and he liked it a lot. He had a great teacher, and did really well. Then he moved to another school, but still enjoyed studying Physics and became well-known in the school because of his high grades in Physics and Math. He decided to try to get into a Physics program in the university, and he got in [in Brazil you have to pass an entrance examination to get into the university/ college you want - each school has its own exam]. He had been studying there for two years when he met this girl called Lilian, and almost five years later they got married. Daddy and Mama graduated, and, later, they both came to the United States. Daddy started to continue studying Physics, and some years later, you were born. Then, when Daddy finished his Ph.D. we moved here so he could do be a Post Doc, and now he's going to Brazil to give a talk at these two universities close to where each of your grandparents live."
We usually tell him true stories from our lives at bedtime, silly things about different falls and hospital stays, and stiches and broken bones, those are the ones he enjoys the most. But since daddy was away, I thought it would be interesting to go over the whole story, which would explain why he was now travelling. And, of course, when he's tired, he falls asleep quickly and it doesn't really matter what you're talking about, just that you keep talking. I told it to myself, to remind me of how more "certain" my husband's trajectory has been. When he started, he never thought very seriously about becoming an academic, a researcher, but as he progressed, he found out he simply loved what he was doing, and became more and more invested in becoming a good scientist. I felt really excited for him, but for me, the opposite seemed true. I had always been passionate about what I was doing, and kind of always knew I wanted to become an academic. But in it's different in the humanities, there are just way too many people, and very few jobs. I was never the same after I read Invisible Adjunct and The Chronicle's articles she linked to. And then, I'm a mother, I spend all my time and my energy caring for my boys, and I love that more than the prospect of struggling to find my place in academia.
The trip, by the way, went OK. DH learned a lot about the academic job market in Brazil, which is completely different from here. It is hard to get an opening because many of the job opportunities open up simply for the universities to hire people who have been working there, but not in a tenure track position. He went this time, for example because he sent his CV and a letter expressing his interest in a position that might open at one of the only universities he'd like to work. We paid for the expenses ourselves. Anyway, after he gave the talk, he asked why they did that, and they explained that they wouldn't even open the position and officially advertise for it if they didn't like any of the candidates! He also gave a talk at the university that is close to his parents' house (the first one is close to where my parents live). While he was there he also finished writing the application for the Florida school, and I mailed that on Monday night. It's really too early to try for a job, but we just thought he should seize each opportunity from now own... and, as I already said. I like the suspense, I like this not knowing where life will bring us.
DH is coming back tomorrow morning. Last night I tried to tell my story as a bedtime story to our son, but I just couldn't. It doesn't have a happy ending yet, I haven't earned my degree, and I don't even think of the job market or anything. I feel sad about all of this. I have thought about my story many times. It's not a bad story at all, I don't really know why I feel so negatively about it. I'll try to tell it sometime. For now, I'll just say I've been feeling like an accidental academic. Maybe this should have been my blog's name...
Monday, August 29, 2005
Where the Wild Things Are
(I started to write this on 7/18 – over a month ago – this is the promised “fun” post. I guess I was referring to the pictures and the subject of the text, more than the text itself. I’m not too excited by it, but I wanted to post anyway, mostly because it was too much work to upload all the pics :)
(6/14/05) (6/24/05)
(7/7/05) (7/19/05)
Oh yeah, the boys have been getting wild lately, unfortunately*, but, no, I’m not referring to them here! I just wanted to paraphrase the wonderful Maurice Sendak:
That very night in our front porch a forest grew
and grew –
and grew until its ceiling hung with vines
and the walls became the world all around
(6/14/05) (6/24/05)
(7/7/05) (7/19/05)
That’s how it looks now:
I thought I’d use this reference to Sendak to write about something I haven’t said here yet: I love children’s literature passionately. I was lucky enough that I got to teach a children’s lit class a few times, both as a T.A. and on my own (2 summers). Of course, I’m more familiar with Brazilian children’s literature, but as I was growing up I had a few American favorites as well – the beloved “Little House” books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, that I knew (and still know) by heart, and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. I almost went on to write a dissertation about these “girl books” (comparing the characters of “classic” American books – the ones I mentioned above plus Frances Hodgson Burnett’s The Secret Garden, to certain Brazilian books and their characters), but in the end I decided to change advisors and consequently my topic. My favorite picture book author in
I could go on and on writing about children’s literature, but I want to go back to my garden/ yard. There’s another children’s book author that I have been “bumping into” quite often lately when I go outside, can you guess who it is by looking at these pictures?
Don’t they look like Peter Rabbit, Benjamin Bunny, etc (minus the cute clothes)? I always think of Beatrix Potter when I see them. Ever since we moved here I realized that there were rabbits, or hares (I don’t really know how to tell the difference, I’m assuming they’re hares) who lived in our neighborhood and often came to eat the grass and other plants on our yards (first picture above). But now, we have an official “neighborhood” bunny rabbit (second picture)! Over a month ago my neighbor’s brother brought this rabbit (who was said to be abused by the kids in its previous house), and they decided to let it go loose outside. I privately call it Peter Rabbit. It’s quite tame, and sometimes we pet him, to the utter delight of Linton, my youngest, who’s a fervent animal lover.
* The very first version of this post actually said something like “No, I’m not referring to my boys, they’re not wild”. As I kept on postponing the post, my two own exemplars of “Max” started doing some normal but annoying “wild things” such as: Linton has broken most eggs from 2 egg crates I brought from the car and left (BIG mistake) on one of the low tables in the living room in two separate occasions – he thought it was loads of fun and cried when I screamed and removed them from him. When I had guests in the last weekend of July, and I was busy preparing for their arrivals, Kelvin pressed down the dough of the 3 loaves of bread that were rising nicely until that moment – I had a fit!!
Word verification on comments
Just a quick note... I know it's a bit annoying to have to do a word verification (typing weird looking words) when posting a comment, but please bear with me, because I've been getting spam in my comments and want to avoid that. I know I could just delete the comments and leave it at that, but I already get so few comments that I feel really annoyed by a comment that's spam and not a "real" comment.
Thanks!!
And I know it's quite silly of me because this blog doesn't have much readership, but I added a site meter. I've just been curious about that :)
I'll write more later.
Thanks!!
And I know it's quite silly of me because this blog doesn't have much readership, but I added a site meter. I've just been curious about that :)
I'll write more later.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Safe arrivals
Just a quick update on the travels in the family. My parents arrived safely today at 11:30 am. Our meeting with them was hilarious. I got to the airport at the exact time their plane was supposed to be landing. Then I had to park, get the stroller, etc, and go to the terminal. We found the elevator to go up to the gates, Kelvin ran ahead to press the button (he's crazy about elevators, escalators, etc) and we were waiting expectantly for the door to open, then, when it opened, lo and behold!, my parents were there. I think Kelvin was completely shocked, because we weren't expecting that at all. He became instantly shy, as he always is when meeting people we haven't seen in a long time, but he came around quite quickly. It was very funny, he kept saying on the way home "yes, we were there waiting for the elevator door to open, then it opened and grandma and grandpa [vovó and vovô] were there!! ha ha ha!"
My husband had a more bumpy trip. He was supposed to have arrived in Brazil this morning at 10 am, but he got there at 9pm instead. They had problems in the aircraft, and he had to stay overnight in Chicago and fly during the day (which is something I hate because it's boring and tiresome). His seat's tiny TV set didn't work, and happily there was an acquaintance in the flight, this guy we knew from back in college, and he was able to chat with someone to kill time. We just emailed each other and talked online -- oh blessed internet.
Now I have to go to bed, I'm really tired... The boys are OK, Linton has two more molars on the way... not fun. Tons of drooling, but he's still not that grumpy, which could change soon, of course. Lots of suspense in some blogs I'm reading (which aren't in my blogroll yet), this is always lots of fun! (this comment was supposed to be at the end, but I can't put it after the second link or it'll turn into a link itself :) : Leery Polyp and Thin Pink Line
My husband had a more bumpy trip. He was supposed to have arrived in Brazil this morning at 10 am, but he got there at 9pm instead. They had problems in the aircraft, and he had to stay overnight in Chicago and fly during the day (which is something I hate because it's boring and tiresome). His seat's tiny TV set didn't work, and happily there was an acquaintance in the flight, this guy we knew from back in college, and he was able to chat with someone to kill time. We just emailed each other and talked online -- oh blessed internet.
Now I have to go to bed, I'm really tired... The boys are OK, Linton has two more molars on the way... not fun. Tons of drooling, but he's still not that grumpy, which could change soon, of course. Lots of suspense in some blogs I'm reading (which aren't in my blogroll yet), this is always lots of fun! (this comment was supposed to be at the end, but I can't put it after the second link or it'll turn into a link itself :) : Leery Polyp and Thin Pink Line
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Blue... (not the feeling)
Sandra has posted some beautiful pictures lately, and I thought I was long overdue posting pictures. So, here it goes... these have been making me smile (and snap tons of pics) every single morning. They're some of my favorites too:
Beautiful, huh?
Beautiful, huh?
Alone
But not for long...
Hubby's in Chicago, staying overnight after a cancelled flight to Brasil (he flies tomorrow morning), and parents probably already flying for a few hours, due to arrive tomorrow at noon.
I'm glad their trips coincided so I'd be only 18 hours alone. On the other hand, I was kind of looking forward to spending some days with my sister-in-law (I was planning to go to my brother and SIL's house for a few days if I had to be home alone with the boys). The good thing about having my husband travel is that I feel happier that my parents are coming. It's not that I don't enjoy them coming, I do, it's just that of course it's not the same thing as just the 4 of us... but the fact that it's just me and the kids will probably make for a good transition this time (it's not just an abrupt disruption of our cozy family life). Besides, we do need them desperately right now. We can't keep up with the house and the kids (things are chaotic around here) and I really, really need to work on my dissertation.
That's the hard part. I have to work no matter what. I hope I find the strength within and without (oh, yes, there's plenty of strength without - I'm sure I'll get tons of pressure from parents and hubby)... and the wish, the desire to finish is very strong within me, it's just hard to start writing. Besides the fact that I love to do all the research, but hate the writing itself, there are so many other variables in dissertation writing! There's the advisor to deal with, and the other people in the committee... those can be more stumbling blocks than any help. Let's see how it'll be.
Hubby's in Chicago, staying overnight after a cancelled flight to Brasil (he flies tomorrow morning), and parents probably already flying for a few hours, due to arrive tomorrow at noon.
I'm glad their trips coincided so I'd be only 18 hours alone. On the other hand, I was kind of looking forward to spending some days with my sister-in-law (I was planning to go to my brother and SIL's house for a few days if I had to be home alone with the boys). The good thing about having my husband travel is that I feel happier that my parents are coming. It's not that I don't enjoy them coming, I do, it's just that of course it's not the same thing as just the 4 of us... but the fact that it's just me and the kids will probably make for a good transition this time (it's not just an abrupt disruption of our cozy family life). Besides, we do need them desperately right now. We can't keep up with the house and the kids (things are chaotic around here) and I really, really need to work on my dissertation.
That's the hard part. I have to work no matter what. I hope I find the strength within and without (oh, yes, there's plenty of strength without - I'm sure I'll get tons of pressure from parents and hubby)... and the wish, the desire to finish is very strong within me, it's just hard to start writing. Besides the fact that I love to do all the research, but hate the writing itself, there are so many other variables in dissertation writing! There's the advisor to deal with, and the other people in the committee... those can be more stumbling blocks than any help. Let's see how it'll be.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Busy, busy, impending departures and arrivals
Just a quick note to say things have been kind of crazy over here. Hubby's travelling next Monday, my parents arrive from Brazil next Tuesday.
Last Friday my husband finally found out he was going to Brazil to give a talk at the university he's interested in applying to. We were waiting to hear back from the consulate, because he didn't want to buy a ticket without a date for his Visa interview. It's impossible to schedule an interview at the American consulate in Brazil without 2 months' notice, and he had to do it through their emergency service.
We were driving to Maryland/Virginia for the weekend when we found out the consulate had given the go ahead to schedule the interview. When we stopped for a few hours at my brother-in-law's house before continuing to Richmond, VA, he bought his plane ticket, and some other stuff he has to take along with him. In VA we had a good time with friends we hadn't seen for quite a while. It was good to have some "academic" conversations, since we stayed at the house of a doctoral student friend, and visited a post-doc friend and his family (all of them Brazilians). Kelvin had a great time playing with our friends' 6 year-old daughter and 10 y.o. son. Too bad our car battery died and had to be replaced, but at least we were not on the road, but enjoying the beautiful pool at our friends' apartment complex. Back home from the weekend, we're very busy with packing, hubby's even busier trying to prepare his talk, and, maybe, just maybe, the application for the Florida university. He may not have time to work on that, which is sad. Why is it that everything has to happen always at once?
My parents are coming. That means I have to make up my mind to let go of the kids for a while and work, work, work. Major problem -- I have nowhere to go. I'll try to work at the house, but if that doesn't work out, I'll have to find a good library to drive to. Our town library is only two blocks away and open most afternoons, but it's really really small. What should I do? It would be great if I could go to UPenn, but the price for commuting would be just too high.
Well, we'll see what'll happen. The good thing is that I won't be alone while hubby's in Brazil!
Last Friday my husband finally found out he was going to Brazil to give a talk at the university he's interested in applying to. We were waiting to hear back from the consulate, because he didn't want to buy a ticket without a date for his Visa interview. It's impossible to schedule an interview at the American consulate in Brazil without 2 months' notice, and he had to do it through their emergency service.
We were driving to Maryland/Virginia for the weekend when we found out the consulate had given the go ahead to schedule the interview. When we stopped for a few hours at my brother-in-law's house before continuing to Richmond, VA, he bought his plane ticket, and some other stuff he has to take along with him. In VA we had a good time with friends we hadn't seen for quite a while. It was good to have some "academic" conversations, since we stayed at the house of a doctoral student friend, and visited a post-doc friend and his family (all of them Brazilians). Kelvin had a great time playing with our friends' 6 year-old daughter and 10 y.o. son. Too bad our car battery died and had to be replaced, but at least we were not on the road, but enjoying the beautiful pool at our friends' apartment complex. Back home from the weekend, we're very busy with packing, hubby's even busier trying to prepare his talk, and, maybe, just maybe, the application for the Florida university. He may not have time to work on that, which is sad. Why is it that everything has to happen always at once?
My parents are coming. That means I have to make up my mind to let go of the kids for a while and work, work, work. Major problem -- I have nowhere to go. I'll try to work at the house, but if that doesn't work out, I'll have to find a good library to drive to. Our town library is only two blocks away and open most afternoons, but it's really really small. What should I do? It would be great if I could go to UPenn, but the price for commuting would be just too high.
Well, we'll see what'll happen. The good thing is that I won't be alone while hubby's in Brazil!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Baby health update/ Another baby? NO WAY!
Linton is "back to normal". He probably had roseola, because as the rash vanished, he started eating ravenously again, and stopped being grumpy and clingy. Last night, for the first time in months (actually, I think for the first time ever!) he slept for 6 straight hours!!!!!!!!!! (then nursed quickly and continued to sleep) I could hardly believe it. Of course I didn't benefit too much because, you can see from the time I posted last time what time I went to bed : )
Yeah, I'm a night owl. And I'd like to sleep all morning if I could, but I've been getting up at 9 everyday (time my husband leaves for the train), and getting 6 hours of sleep a night on average (when my body usually begs for 9, yeah, I'm still a "child" in my need for sleep). And this morning, the bell rang at 6:40. I knew it was my next door neighbor, I'd woken up to her yelling at her teenage daughter (our houses are connected). It turned out she needed to use my computer to print a boarding passes for her daughter, who's flying to Hawaii today... She was SUPER thankful. My husband was a bit upset, but I'm usually happy helping people. Poor hubby let me sleep for 1 hour and a half more, and went in to work much later than he wanted too (thanks sweetie!).
I intended to comment on this essay from Literary Mama earlier (expatmama did too), but now seems a good time, I just won't write much, which is probably a good thing : )
I said in the past that I went through phases of really wanting another baby and phases of not really caring for one. Right now, I feel like there's no way in the world I'd want to start this all over again. Babies are cute, I love my babies, but it's just way too much work!!!!!!
See, I guess part of the reason is that Kelvin was a very easy going baby, not very independent, but then, he was the only one, and I had the time and patience to play with him, etc. But Linton, he's a whole different ball game. I know, I'm terrible at metaphors, but it's like, Kelvin's baseball (kind of slow) and Linton's basketball, very fast paced. I also thought things would be predictable, that is, I felt I knew how things were going to progress as far as how to get baby to sleep, to eat, etc. It turns out that even in these "basic" everyday things, they are so different!!! I've always loved that they have different personalities, but I thought it would not interfere so much in the "caring for the baby" process.
Well, maybe I'll change my mind again, but right now I'm too tired to think I want to do this again. And I need to record this, so I'll be reminded of it later. In the past two weeks Linton woke up every hour or too, after I put him down to sleep at night. Like a newborn!! I just couldn't take it anymore, so I'm very grateful for the way he slept last night. I hope it continues like that. If it does, I begin to see the light in the end of the tunnel, and blindly and trembing I will follow that faint glow.
Yeah, I'm a night owl. And I'd like to sleep all morning if I could, but I've been getting up at 9 everyday (time my husband leaves for the train), and getting 6 hours of sleep a night on average (when my body usually begs for 9, yeah, I'm still a "child" in my need for sleep). And this morning, the bell rang at 6:40. I knew it was my next door neighbor, I'd woken up to her yelling at her teenage daughter (our houses are connected). It turned out she needed to use my computer to print a boarding passes for her daughter, who's flying to Hawaii today... She was SUPER thankful. My husband was a bit upset, but I'm usually happy helping people. Poor hubby let me sleep for 1 hour and a half more, and went in to work much later than he wanted too (thanks sweetie!).
I intended to comment on this essay from Literary Mama earlier (expatmama did too), but now seems a good time, I just won't write much, which is probably a good thing : )
I said in the past that I went through phases of really wanting another baby and phases of not really caring for one. Right now, I feel like there's no way in the world I'd want to start this all over again. Babies are cute, I love my babies, but it's just way too much work!!!!!!
See, I guess part of the reason is that Kelvin was a very easy going baby, not very independent, but then, he was the only one, and I had the time and patience to play with him, etc. But Linton, he's a whole different ball game. I know, I'm terrible at metaphors, but it's like, Kelvin's baseball (kind of slow) and Linton's basketball, very fast paced. I also thought things would be predictable, that is, I felt I knew how things were going to progress as far as how to get baby to sleep, to eat, etc. It turns out that even in these "basic" everyday things, they are so different!!! I've always loved that they have different personalities, but I thought it would not interfere so much in the "caring for the baby" process.
Well, maybe I'll change my mind again, but right now I'm too tired to think I want to do this again. And I need to record this, so I'll be reminded of it later. In the past two weeks Linton woke up every hour or too, after I put him down to sleep at night. Like a newborn!! I just couldn't take it anymore, so I'm very grateful for the way he slept last night. I hope it continues like that. If it does, I begin to see the light in the end of the tunnel, and blindly and trembing I will follow that faint glow.
100 things part II: 50 things about my personal life
I’m leaving the “baby part” of our lives out on purpose, that can make for more interesting posts in the future!
1. My parents, both of them Brazilian (dad of German descent, mom of mixed European), got married pretty “late” (he - 30, she - 27) for the late 1960s in
2. After they were married for 9 months, they went to
3. My mom took classes in
4. They accidentally got pregnant, and I was born in
5. She wasn’t able to finish her specialization with Jean Piaget because of me (but she claims she applied in me all the cognitive psychology she learned : )
6. I always hated having been born in
7. So, I am Brazilian, as if I had been born in the Brazilian consulate in
8. However, throughout my life when people learned I had been born in
9. When I was a kid I got extremely upset by this, and fiercely insisted, “No, no, no, I’m not Swiss, I’m Brazilian.”
10. To this day I don’t like to tell people where I was born, I only say I’m Brazilian. It’s annoying to have to tell them the whole story and have them say “Oh, really? You’re really not Swiss?” “NO, duh!”
11. Now I joke that they “refused to have me and don’t know what they’re missing” or something kind of bitter like that.
12. (At least my sons are both American and Brazilian, I haven’t created that kind of problem for them)
13. (I used to get upset at my mom for not giving birth to me in France but then in 1998, when Brazil lost the World Cup to France, I was happy she didn’t : ) [soccer is a national passion for Brazilians, as you may know]
14. My parents went back to
15. My mom was 30 and my dad 33 when I was born.
16. My younger brother and I always wanted to have kids much younger than that, because my parents used to say they felt too “old” to keep up with teenagers.
17. I was 30 when my oldest was born, my brother is 31 and he doesn’t have kids yet.
18. I think it’s not bad at all to have kids older, and my kids’ friends’ parents will probably be my age (not the case with me – e.g. my husband’s mom is 11 years younger than mine).
19. I moved a few times when I was growing up, mostly within the Southern state of Paraná.
20. The five best years (from 8-13 years old) were when my parents worked at a boarding academy in the countryside, in a farming area. I loved to see the different crops (soybeans, wheat – beautiful, corn), and to roam free in the woods with my friends or alone. It was perfect.
21. We then moved to the huge city of
22. I met my husband when I was taking the bus home from the university one afternoon (
23. We both went to the same university (Universidade de São Paulo, USP, it’s the largest in
24. I was in my 1st year when we met and he in his 3rd (We’re the same age, but he was 16-17 when he got into college, I was 18 ½)
25. He was my first boyfriend, and vice-versa. Yeah… I know… that boring “I’ve waited for the right person to come along” kind of thing.
26. We had a great group of friends, in the university and the school where we both worked. Those were 5 great years (it took us that long to graduate – in
27. We were teachers, he taught math and physics (middle and high school) and I taught English, mostly to kids (elementary school).
28. We got married the year we graduated from college (December 1994). We were both 23.
29. Before we got married we already knew we wanted to travel abroad, so we didn’t buy expensive/good furniture or anything, just the basics.
30. We wanted to go to an English speaking country for my husband to learn it and because as an English teacher, a “living abroad” experience would be great for me.
31. Our first option was
32. My husband’s uncle lived in the
33. So, after we’d been married for 1 year and a half we sold most of our stuff in
34. We arrived on
35. That first year was tough. We basically spent most of 5 years worth of savings we brought from
36. Then we were offered a sponsorship from a Brazilian college to get our Masters’.
37. After a year, we both decided to go for our Ph.D.s since we would be able get assistantships.
38. In 1999 I was able to spend a month and a half alone in
39. I did a “pilgrimage” to the hospital in
40. In 2000 we did an awesome backpacking trip in
41. We are total museum and historic churches/ places rats. We visited everything we had the time to cram into our days. It was awesome.
42. (Traveling, that’s how I plan to spend all our money whenever we have some again : )
43. Last year my husband got his Ph.D. and we moved from MA to PA after 8 years there.
44. In all these years abroad, I’ve gone back to
45. Three times with hubby: Dec. 97-8 (his brother’s wedding), June 99, Aug. 01(my brother’s wedding); Twice by myself: Aug. 98, Jan. 01; with hubby and Kelvin: Dec. 03-4; me and the two boys Feb-March 05.
46. We have another wedding this year in December, and this trip will make 8 trips to
47. Our parents visit quite often, particularly in the last 3 years because of the grandchild(ren)
48. Almost every time I went back I had to get/renew a student VISA, a TERRIBLE hassle, not to mention expense. (I can’t believe I have to do it again in December).
49. Being an expatriate is not easy, but I enjoy every minute of it (except those spent in the American Consulate).
50. My parents only did it for 3 years, but I they ended up setting me up for it, and boy, don’t they probably regret it! (They want us to go back, of course…)
What next? I don’t know… and I like this not knowing, it keeps us young, and dreamy. Except that one day we’ll have to settle down in either country, and start living more than dreaming, and getting old… ah, that, we already do, whether we know what we’re doing with our lives or not : )
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