Friday, January 10, 2014

Sad to be Back

We're generally glad to be back home from vacation, but this time was different, particularly for me (with the added stress of an unexpected reason that I will elaborate more on another post).

It wasn't because of the cold weather although that makes it harder. In fact, thankfully we missed the worst of it (this "polar vortex" the media was talking about) and it will be pretty "warm" in the 60s this weekend!

There are some negative aspects of traveling back that are a problem every time:

1) Seeing my mom cry when we leave and knowing that she'll be crying a lot for the next day or two;

2) The tiredness of flying, connecting flights, sleeping badly in the uncomfortable airplane seats, etc;

3) The delays and the drive to/from airport that are always complicated -- this time we had a 4:30 am flight, but the last bus to the airport from the São Paulo countryside left at 8 pm the night before! So we spent most of the night sitting at the airport and waiting to check in. Then the friend that was picking us up had a 2h delay... sigh... This made it into a 24h trip from my parents' house to ours.

4) Knowing that we won't have our families close by anymore and won't see them for a while.

(5) (only when we travel in winter here) -- 3h time difference that makes for some annoying jet-lag.

But this time there were some aggravating factors:

1) Our stay in Brazil was too short  -- especially because we didn't get to see many friends or visit many places (post about "mandatory Brazil Trip things" upcoming!).

2) Exceptionally, we spent a lot of time with K's whole family and, most importantly, we were at a perfect beach, so leaving that feels like waking up from a wonderful dream into a reality nightmare.

3) Although I saw my brother, sister-in-law* & met their babies, I didn't get to spend a lot of time with them for two reasons: they have young children (2 & 8 months) with rigid sleep/feeding schedules & we weren't staying in the same place. It's hard & sad not to see them often and not to be able to catch up much, if at all.            *I hadn't seen him in over 3 years and her in 5 years.

I think there are a few more reasons, but these are the strongest. The boys (at least our youngest) felt a little sad too -- the vacation was just too good, better than any before, I think I could say!

The hardest thing for me is that I already always live my day-to-day life with mixed feelings of always being "in-between" two countries and never knowing whether I'd like to be here or there, or whether we made the right choice by deciding to stay here. And a "re-entry" like this just makes it all so much harder and angsty! If only my job situation weren't so iffy and angsty to begin with, I'm sure things would be easier. :(

Sorry for the whiny post. I will try to share some glimpses of our trip with you later and that will both cheer me up and make me even sadder... oh well, that's life!

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Sorry to hear you are down! Prayers for peace of mind coming.