It was so good to hear from some of you regarding these problems. I was most impressed by David's final remark in his comment: "I used to think that my diss. avoidance was largely about being afraid of failure. More and more nowadays, I think what I'm more afraid of is success." I learned a lot from your latest post on the subject, David, and I want to respond to it on another post.
"External Problems:"
I don't want to whine too much about my relationship with my readers (ABD Mom/Professing Mama later regretted the things she wrote about her advisor, so I'm refraining from writing very negative things), but feedback from one of them literally blocks my writing. I have written about it before, but I'll think more before I write again, so I don't regret what I write. You can check some posts on this subject on my "Dissertatin'/ Dissertation updates" category/ post label.
"Inner Problems:"
Academic Writing
I haven't really been taught how to write academically. This was one aspect that was lacking from my otherwise excellent college education in Brazil. My writing classes were the lowest level classes in my English degree classes at the University of São Paulo (largest in Latin America) -- the literature classes were great, we even read Derrida and studied deconstruction in the last year. The plunge into graduate school here in the U.S. didn't contribute much to it either.
For one, I never studied writing here in the U.S. As you can probably tell from my blog, I have a great proficiency in English, oh, and I'm not modest about that either (the TOEFL was the most "stupid" exam I ever had to take, it's a long story, but I ended up taking it three times back in 1998 -- two written, and the last, a pilot test for the online version, and I got perfect scores every time). This proficiency (I have often been complimented for my spoken English as well) didn't help because I never sought help or went to audit writing classes in the English dept.
This makes me very rebellious against academic language and writing -- here is a HUGE post from last ytear in which I question "what's the use" of getting a Ph.D. in the first place, all because of problems with writing. I wasn't trained to write academically it, and yet, I can write well, so, why do I have to fit in? Why do I have to write things the way it has to be written? I just hate that I have to conform in order to get a Ph.D. -- but David, in relationship to habit adverseness, I'm not going to change just because of the dissertation, oh no!!
Practical consequences of this writing problem, which actually may stem from a "thinking problem" -- I don't know how to think academically in the clichéd way that we're supposed to thing:
- I can't think of thesis statements or my argument before beginning my research projects. I love to do these sweeping historical overviews that have little point and are centered mostly in a common theme, or in gender (the case of my dissertation -- sorry, I don't want to be more specific).
- I can't stand theory and I do an AWFUL job summarizing all the different sources I have and not using too many quotes. I have a hard time with synthesizing other's people's arguments, with abstracting just the essence of their point.
- I tend to cite too much. When I find an author or source that's really illuminating to me, I just can't just write their point in my own words (see previous item -- I don't summarize well).
- I SUCK at writing conclusions. Since I have no thesis to begin with, I have a hard time to articulate my contributions, just in very general terms.
Broadness and Ambitiousness of Research ProjectsFor one, I never studied writing here in the U.S. As you can probably tell from my blog, I have a great proficiency in English, oh, and I'm not modest about that either (the TOEFL was the most "stupid" exam I ever had to take, it's a long story, but I ended up taking it three times back in 1998 -- two written, and the last, a pilot test for the online version, and I got perfect scores every time). This proficiency (I have often been complimented for my spoken English as well) didn't help because I never sought help or went to audit writing classes in the English dept.
This makes me very rebellious against academic language and writing -- here is a HUGE post from last ytear in which I question "what's the use" of getting a Ph.D. in the first place, all because of problems with writing. I wasn't trained to write academically it, and yet, I can write well, so, why do I have to fit in? Why do I have to write things the way it has to be written? I just hate that I have to conform in order to get a Ph.D. -- but David, in relationship to habit adverseness, I'm not going to change just because of the dissertation, oh no!!
Practical consequences of this writing problem, which actually may stem from a "thinking problem" -- I don't know how to think academically in the clichéd way that we're supposed to thing:
- I can't think of thesis statements or my argument before beginning my research projects. I love to do these sweeping historical overviews that have little point and are centered mostly in a common theme, or in gender (the case of my dissertation -- sorry, I don't want to be more specific).
- I can't stand theory and I do an AWFUL job summarizing all the different sources I have and not using too many quotes. I have a hard time with synthesizing other's people's arguments, with abstracting just the essence of their point.
- I tend to cite too much. When I find an author or source that's really illuminating to me, I just can't just write their point in my own words (see previous item -- I don't summarize well).
- I SUCK at writing conclusions. Since I have no thesis to begin with, I have a hard time to articulate my contributions, just in very general terms.
I'm a bit crazy where research is concerned. I like to do huge overviews, but then have a hard time drawing conclusions, obviously.
Two examples. In my very first semester as a "non-degree student" here (before I was accepted into grad school), I took a class about Slavery in Brazil. My final project? Analyze the image of slavery (characters who were slaves or Black) in TEN NOVELS written before the abolition of slavery in Brazil (1888). The paper that resulted was really bad, because, in the words of the professor, it read like a long list.
So, in my next "overly ambitious" project with her, I put all the data into a chart and then wrote the paper interpreting it, and it worked better. This paper was an examination of all references to music (singing, musical instruments, operas, musical language and images) in ALL THE WORKS by Machado de Assis, who is considered the greatest Brazilian writer. I browsed through nine novels, all his stories and most newspaper crônicas found in his collect works, and typed up all the references, categorizing them (see parentheses above). I had lots of fun, and I hope to get this published someday. (Isn't this an interesting project, Jeannette?)
My dissertation is something similar, just crazy, it's two or more dissertations rolled into one. I have several chapters which are 50 pages long. I think that without the appendices, it'll have over 200 pages, like 400 or more with the appendices (mostly tables with the data collected).
Did I mention that I'm way too prolix to boot? Yeah, that you already know!
Two examples. In my very first semester as a "non-degree student" here (before I was accepted into grad school), I took a class about Slavery in Brazil. My final project? Analyze the image of slavery (characters who were slaves or Black) in TEN NOVELS written before the abolition of slavery in Brazil (1888). The paper that resulted was really bad, because, in the words of the professor, it read like a long list.
So, in my next "overly ambitious" project with her, I put all the data into a chart and then wrote the paper interpreting it, and it worked better. This paper was an examination of all references to music (singing, musical instruments, operas, musical language and images) in ALL THE WORKS by Machado de Assis, who is considered the greatest Brazilian writer. I browsed through nine novels, all his stories and most newspaper crônicas found in his collect works, and typed up all the references, categorizing them (see parentheses above). I had lots of fun, and I hope to get this published someday. (Isn't this an interesting project, Jeannette?)
My dissertation is something similar, just crazy, it's two or more dissertations rolled into one. I have several chapters which are 50 pages long. I think that without the appendices, it'll have over 200 pages, like 400 or more with the appendices (mostly tables with the data collected).
Did I mention that I'm way too prolix to boot? Yeah, that you already know!
3 comments:
I had a similar problem with my diss being too broad, and I had a history of that issue, too. My honors thesis as an undergrad covered three centuries of American history.
All of that overciting and difficulty summarizing sounds to me like a lack of confidence in your own authority. Something that I'm familiar with. The funny thing is that I have no problem in the classroom with summarizing texts or recognizing the crucial components of theoretical arguments, but I have a very difficult time doing it in academic prose. Taking on overly ambitious projects is itself a defense mechanism for uncertainty in your own authority, too, isn't it? I think it is in my case.
Oooooh...it DOES sound absolutely tantalizing! (the music project)
You know, I really resonated with you about the whole academic thing. And I wonder if it's partly a gender thing. Women talk about things. Men explain things. Hence, academic writing is about argument not chatting.
With my thesis, a lot of my angst is that I don't feel like I'm arguing anything. I'm just talking about a cool ms. It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, so why should I try to make it matter? It just is what it is, a cool thing. I think there are other ways to clearly structure papers that aren't thesis, argument, conclusions, per se in the strictly academic sense. (Though I do think The Point of It All and some kind of conclusion is important for overall organization.)
Anyway, i don't really know what I'm talking about. So whatever. Just my gut thoughts.
I don't even know you I'm just a ramdon PhD student who googled "I'm a PhD student and my writing sucks" because I "obviously" have nothing productive to do with myself. So I just wanted to say that I feel better knowing that you think the same thing and well, I think we all feel this way!
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