What's (Not) Going On

I guess it's a mix of the "black hole" that is the dissertation and my avoidance of or inability to work with it and the winter woes.

Both Kateri and Left Handed Trees recently wrote about the "certain slant of light" effect of winter afternoons. Of course I was vaguely familiar with Emily Dickinson's poem, but in these eleven winters I have spent here, I hadn't really read it and thought about what these long winters do to us...

And now I read the poem and feel like weeping.

There's a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.

Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.

None may teach it anything,
'Tis the seal, despair,-
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.

When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, 't is like the distance
On the look of death.

Emily Dickinson

It's so cold that I've been avoiding going out. I know I should, 'cause it would do me and the boys good. So tomorrow we will.

Some loose ends from the comment section...

Dear friends Articulate Dad and Alice commented some things I want to respond to.

Alice remarked that it looked like I'd lost weight in one (or more) of the photos in my celebrity look alike post (photos are now gone -- glitchy beta site problems, I suspect, but I'll replace them soon, you may be sure of that!). The thing is, when I was sick last year from May to July I did loose some weight, but all those photos were taken before then, so it's probably the angle. I am yet to discuss weight here, but let me just say that I've always been skinny, so there are positions in which I seem even thinner. (Edited to add: oh, but in one of the photos, the last one, I probably hadn't lost all the weight I'd gained in my second pregnancy -- some 38 pounds, 17 kg. so my face probably does look "fuller." I'll talk more about this topic in the future, OK? I've actually been meaning to.)

Articulate Dad said here that I shouldn't sigh too much because "It unbecomes [my] lovely disposition." Oh my friend... my disposition may seem to be really happy here in this blog, given your kind words and Aliki's nomination of this blog as happiest blog for a blog award. I am, indeed, a happy, positive person in general, but I'm always sighing. Sometimes there's no reason at all, but I do it... I sound like an old woman to those around me, I guess. I'm also quite a whiner, but I've been getting better, I just have some weaker moments of intense whining and complaining once in a while. (which my poor husband hates, BTW, so I generally soon stop).

So, here you go... some random thoughts about what's going on around here, or not going on, since there's not too much. OK, I won't sigh, I wont! Now you've made me self conscious. ;)