Orchard in Bloom -- For Heidi!

I took these photos back on April 24 and never got around to posting them!

The orchard always reminds me of my dear friend Heidi & her husband because I found out they were leaving on our very first orchard walk in April last year. (There were about three, I think, we really wanted to follow the flowers closely, as it was her first and last opportunity!) ;-(

So in these photos I wanted not only to enjoy the flowers, but also document the orchard's development for my friend. You see, this orchard was basically abandoned for many years and last year was the first one in which it started to be cared for with pruning and other tree & orchard maintenance measures.

This year, there was even more pruning (as the huge piles of branches demonstrate) and it looks like the freshly pruned trees are healthier and (hopefully!) will produce more. This orchard has different varieties of apples, as well as peaches and nectarines -- but I didn't photograph those trees, only last year, I think they were past bloom when I walked there this time -- so it's only apple trees & blossoms.  Enjoy!!

When my youngest son, who was actually with me when I walked around the orchard, saw the photo above and the ones like it, he said "these look exactly like the orchard photos I saw in a book!" ;-) Can you tell he's very much a visually oriented learner?

I don't think it's possible for this branch and the ones below to support the weight of this many prospective apples!! 

Another one of those "crazily populated" branches! I'll try to come photograph the apples in the fall for Heidi & for the blog!

I miss you my friend, I hope you enjoy these photos and that you don't get too wistful for the flowers here. :-( I'm glad I can always think of you when I see the orchard and lovely flowers, though, it's wonderful to have friends to share one's love of nature, right?

Breakfast in Bed II

Here's the photo I promised of yesterday's mother's day celebration:

Oh, and my gift was two Target gift cards!

Waiting for breakfast in bed! (and link-love)

It's taking a while (given that I was the first person up this morning), but I'm sure it will be worth waiting for my traditional mother's day breakfast in bed.

I just don't like being stuck in my bedroom while I wait. I have grading to finish, but I'm spending time online instead, why not?

This mother's day I wanted to link to two very important blog posts, "Open Letters to pastors on Mother's day" (they focus on pastors and what happens in churches on Mother's Day, but these posts are insightful for anyone).The first letter is from two years ago: "A Non-Mom Speaks about Mother's Day" and this year's is here: "Beyond the Surface of Mothering."

Mother's day is one more of those tricky holidays in which lots of people, women and men, feel sad and hurt. Many women wanted to be mothers, but it never happened to them, some women lost babies, others gave them up for adoption. And many people, women and men, have lost their mothers and grieve on this day. So it's a day to exercise sensitivity towards everyone. That's why Amy Young felt compelled to write these posts, the first of which went viral, according to what she writes in the most recent one. I think I'll forward the posts to my pastors! ;-)

OK, I think they're outside the door! I'll share photos later. :)

Nearly Done!

We're driving back from my last "final exam trip" to the third university, the one in which I only "tele-teach." 

My husband is staring a collaboration with a faculty member on his area at this university, so we found someone to stay overnight with the kids and he came with me! It wa awesome to grade almost very last exam from U#2 while he drove yesterday, but It was no date trip, however. After giving my exams and feeding my students Brazilian food (a great success as always), K went to have dinner with his colleague while I stayed at the hotel grading.  We wanted to have gone see a movie (The Great Hotel Budapest), but I had to grade until very late. I did get to eat K's Indian food leftovers which were amazing!

I still need to post some final grades today, but we're driving to see the end of the graduate commencement I which three friends are graduating. Hopefully we won't get there too long after it's over!!

I'm really looking forward to being really done, though!

May the Fo[u]rth be with you? ;-)

Hahahaha, I had no idea that today was Star Wars day, or something...

Cool, I became an extremely late "adopter" when I finally watched the six DVDs (in the order of release) back in 2008 when we went on a trip to Florida to our friends' house (our friend Wally is a big fan, his wife is not. ;-)

I don't really have time to watch movies (and maybe never will), but I want to own the Bluray discs someday. Or maybe I can just get them at the local library, like most old movies. :-) I wonder if libraries are ever going to carry bluray* discs, though.

*spell check doesn't like "bluray"-- it wants to make it into blurry!

Swindled?

We are all stressed out because only a miracle can solve my brother's family's problem right now... (please pray if you do, particularly tomorrow morning!)

Only recently we found out that the engineer/contractor that my brother hired to finish his new apartment in Brazil may have swindled him! :-( I have difficulty breathing just thinking about it. They paid him ahead of time (all the money they had in the world about 40K) because the contractor was going to pay his employees, the carpenter, and also order and pay for the materials at the home improvement stores.

My brother & his wife bought a new apartment late last year, but in Brazil new apartments need to be finished: they need floors (wood, tiles), finishing the walls (and painting), putting in built-in wardrobes (houses don't have closets in Brazil) and kitchen cabinets, safety bars on the windows, among other things. They hired an architect to plan what to do and got various quotes. Then, they selected a builder who came highly recommended by my brother's colleagues in the company (this guy had built their houses/ remodeled their apartments, etc) and they signed a contract with him back in November last year, hoping to move into the apartment in March or April, by the latest.

However, the contractor never really started the work in earnest. There were many excuses, such as the electricity being turned off and them not being able to work for two weeks and then my brother (and a little later my sister-in-law) found out that this guy owes thousands of dollars (actually "reais") to a lot of people, has been sued by four previous clients and is, in sum, discredited and in deep trouble. Apparently the architect knew all along, but never told them until now (how mean is that?!).

The carpenter was actually paid part of his share already, but he needs the rest of the money so he can do the work. The stores where they selected the materials never received any orders or any payments.

Sigh...

Meanwhile they've been living at my sister-in-law's parents house (down the street from my mom & dad) with two very young children and without access to lots of their things which are still in boxes since they moved from New Zealand back in September last year.

Yeah, not good! :-( And my mom and sister-in-law are basically freaking out even though they're trying to have faith that things can still work out. My brother is meeting with the contractor (who's demanding more money because of the "lost weeks" due to the electricity) tomorrow morning.

Sigh...

Talk about the shock of going back to one's own country and finding out that you cannot trust anyone.    (although a similar thing happened to him in NZ regarding a possible car sale, obviously the loss was much smaller then. Maybe my brother needs to trust people less... isn't that a sad thing to say? Yeah, it's a mean world out there...). I'll let you know what happens. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers!

I Missed Him!

Kelvin was gone on a bell choir trip to Kentucky for nearly six days and I missed him! It didn't help much that we got him a phone partly so he could get in touch during his trip(s) (for now once a year with the bell choir), but he only called me/us four times! 

They left on Tuesday morning and he called on Wednesday morning (woke us up at 7 am, I was never happier to be awakened by a phone call! ;-), he called my phone quickly on Wed. afternoon as I was driving home from work, he called the house on Thursday evening (from a baseball game) and, again on Saturday afternoon when he was having a rest break.

I was happy that his teacher kept the students' phones with him at certain times (like when they were driving places) and only gave them to the kids at appointed free times, but I do wish he'd texted/called more! I guess I'll have to get used to this... sigh...

He came back saying it was "the best trip ever!" and I had to remind him that it was his very first trip and that probably every trip after this one would be the best again (hopefully!). He had a great time, he says, especially joking around with the boys in the car. His bell choir has 9 girls and only 4 boys and all kids are from 6th, 7th or 8th grades.

Since he arrived on Sunday afternoon and we barely had time to talk, this weekend I need to spend some quality time watching all videos he took on his phone (over an hour, I gather). I guess photos are too boring for this age group! At least I'll have a good glimpse of his fun times!

Wow, he really is growing up, his first long trip! My first trip, when I was in 8th grade, was AMAZING! I traveled with our school's concert band to the Center-West region of Brazil, including the capital Brasília. Unforgettable!

What I Did in April (with photos!)

to mitigate this month's lack of posting ;-)  together with the three posts I wrote on April 30 (scroll down to see them ;-)
(oh yeah, I went to bed early and couldn't post this one before the month ended!)

- I read a book! For pleasure! That felt so deliciously decadent. :-) A book I had purchased back in 1997 (year of publication) and about which I still want to blog (it's a biography of Jane Austen!).

- I watched my kids perform at their piano recital and do wonderfully well after having practiced many hours in the previous month! (and then we headed to my husband's departmental picnic)

- I helped in a Wedding Shower (and blogged about it);

- I was delighted to finally be able to go to the Farmer's Market again (it started its mid-week season in addition to Saturdays, when I don't go) even though they didn't have a whole lot for sale. Now I can eat delicious & authentic (veggie) Salvadorian pupusas every week! YAY!

I even bought some frozen pupusas this week and prepared them for dinner (I was having a very rare lunch date with my husband).  YUM!

- Hit my head really had with the car door while carrying 5 bags in a hurry (painful! forehead scarred for life!):

- I enjoyed flowers in public spaces:

and at home (hopefully I'll blog those photos later from my Nikon, not the iphone).

- We started an alternative "home church."

- and I missed my eldest son (blogging some other time about that too).

And of course I worked and did chores and took care of the kids, etc, etc...

Ignorance is Bliss! ;-)

I just renewed my parking permit for U#2.

I need to park there (after my 76 mile long trip), there's no way around it. I just didn't know how much I was paying to park. Until now, that is.

When I started teaching there I simply drove to the parking office on one of the days of my hectic orientation (I was 2 days late to the week-long orientation meetings because I was returning from Brazil) and signed up for payroll deduction.

Last year parking services sent me an email about the renewal and I didn't even click on the attached form, I just replied saying I wanted to renew via payroll deduction (they gave that option in the email).

So... when I opened the PDF form a few minutes ago and saw that I need to pay $538 dollars to park I was pretty shocked/bummed. I know I've been paying a similar amount for two years (last year it was 516, though, I finally opened that PDF), but still, it's quite a bit of money!

Add to that the monthly cost of gas and that explains a bit why my seemingly respectable wages don't go very far! :-(

And now, every morning when I park I will be thinking of how much I have to pay to do that... sigh... it's just how my silly brain works. "Paying to work" doesn't seem very fair to me. In fact, the article about adjuncts I linked to earlier today mentions something about contingent laborers like myself "subsidizing their students' education*" by providing more labor than we're compensated for (writing rec. letters, going to meetings, etc).

The quote is actually not related to adjuncts' expenses incurred because of teaching, but it still made me think about the costs I have to literally pay to do my job. Sigh...

Well, now I can answer my colleagues when they ask me how much I pay for parking -- as they recently did and I didn't have an answer. I fully enjoyed my ignorance while it lasted, that's for sure!

* full quote:

“Students aren’t getting what they pay for or, if they are, it is because adjuncts themselves are subsidizing their education,” Maria Maisto, president of the adjunct activist group New Faculty Majority, told me. “Adjuncts are donating their time; they are providing it out of pocket."

From Elizabeth Segram's "The Adjunct Revolt: How Poor Professors Are Fighting Back." The Atlantic, 04/28/14

First Free Day!!

I can't believe I haven't blogged for twelve long days!* I don't have a good reason, I've been busy and immersed in lots of things and although I continually "write" blog posts in my head, I actually haven't had time to come write them. Sigh... Hopefully I'll catch up soon!

I'm not "done" yet, but this is my first free day and I'm enjoying it immensely!! I spend about an hour at my sons' school giving this belated birthday gift to a friend (she was traveling on her birthday) -- she loved it!! yay! And then talking to the principal about some issues I find important. Some minor complaints & concerns. Our SUPER AWESOME principal and his family are leaving, which is pretty sad, but I met the candidate they chose as his replacement and I'm thrilled with him. I hope he'll be an awesome principal too.

Then I came home and transferred the load of washed towels to the drier when it was done (I try to line dry most things, but I'm sticking with the drier for towels or they become rougher than sandpaper!). And I spent sometime opening storage boxes in the garage and realizing that I want to free-cycle a lot of things, including some books and since we're having a group of friends over this coming Saturday afternoon/evening, I'll let them take whatever they want and then donate the rest!

I still haven't found what I was looking for (a shower curtain from our previous house -- I'm going to make kid tents like these, but with shower curtains & hooks so kids can actually open and close!), so I have to keep looking in storage boxes, closets, cabinets, you name it! Sigh... but in writing this it just occurred to me that maybe the shower curtain I'm looking for is plastic, not made of fabric, and I suppose that wouldn't work for the tent, would it? :-) I wanted a girl one (I have it already, with flower) and another one more geared towards boys, so the fish curtain I had was perfect! Well, let me look at old photos of the rental house, maybe I'll find out.

In the meantime, I will try to keep on being productive on my first free day! And I hope to do more blogging from now on. Can't believe this is only my 9th post this month. I'll try to make it to at least 10 or 12!

Edited to add @2:28 pm: I found the shower curtain in a box in the garage. It is plastic, but "matte" PVC, not hard, shiny vinyl, so I can use it! YAY!

* I wrote this before posting my "links" post this morning.

Adjunct Revolt/ Tenure Denial due to Maternity & Family Leave

Just trying to keep up with relevant (to me!) higher education online news this week.

First, the extremely personal issue of adjunct faculty and how some adjuncts, dubbed 'poor professors' in the title of this Atlantic article, are trying to fight back. Sigh... It's always very disheartening to read about "my life" in these essays. I like what one commenter said -- that articles discussing adjuncts don't point out a serious problem: the fact that the majority of contingent labor is composed of women, many of them mothers. And that's a good "bridge" into today's article.

This morning a friend linked to the case of the female Professor who is suing UPenn (where my husband did two postdocs) for denying her tenure based on her family-related leaves in Inside Higher-Ed's "Of Motherhood and Tenure." Although my experience is different because I don't have a tenure-track position, I can relate to the essay. I almost faced troubles as a graduate student when I first got pregnant, but thankfully I was still allowed to teach. I shared the whole story in my personal essay "Of Babies and Academic Milestones" which did not become part of the collection Mama Ph.D.

"Sisters"

"And talking about our kind of shoes have you seen this one?"

We were in the shoe section of TJ Maxx, and the black flats with the thick ankle strap were, indeed, very much "our kind of shoes." I had never heard my sister-in-law say anything like that before and I was pretty delighted to hear it. "We have similar taste in shoes" the off-hand remark meant, we have something in common.

It was this sentence from M, my third (in order of becoming part of the family) sister-in-law on my husband's side (his youngest brother "K4"'s wife) that prompted me to think about them: the sisters I never had!

I have only one brother, but I have four sisters-in-law!

I've known my brother's wife, P,  the longest (she was six years old when we moved to São Paulo in the mid-eighties), but sadly I never got to spent much time with her -- what with them living in China, then New Zealand, traveling the world, and never visiting! Moreover, when I left Brazil, she and my brother had been together only for a few years and they broke up a few times before deciding to get married. Her brother used to be our best friend (actually, I used to joke that he was more like my "twin," because we have so may things in common), P & I both play(ed) the flute (we played a few duets at a wedding once) and we have curly hair. I think that's about it! ;-)

However, in the past 23 years, since I "acquired" my first sister-in-law on my  husband's side, I've gotten to spend time, get to know better, and to love my new sisters! That's why when I heard the sentence above (not a precise translation because it was said in Portuguese), I knew I had to write this post.

D:
K2 started dating D only a year after K & I became a couple (24th anniversary of that was last week, on April 7th!). She's 5 years younger than me (and K2 is 4 years younger than K), but we interacted some while I was dating and more after I got married. D and K2 got engaged earlier just so that we were able to be at the engagement party before we traveled to the U.S. back in 1996. Their wedding was the reason for our first trip back to Brazil in December 1997 (paid by our parents, since we really couldn't afford it, having just started our graduate programs).

D & I have the most it in common as far as upbringing is concerned. She was born in the same town as my mom in Southern Brazil. In fact, her dad is a distant relative of my mom, born and raised on the same small village as my grandfather. In addition to our common Southern Brazil upbringing we share a passion for cooking. We can spend hours in the kitchen and start and/or finish each other's dishes or meals seamlessly!

In spite of the age difference, we watched some of the same TV programs and listened to similar music growing up, so we have these things in common, and one of my childhood friends is her second cousin. We also spent the most time together because K2 and D moved to the U.S. back in 2001 and we lived only 2-3 hours away from each other for ten years so our boys (her oldest and my youngest) grew up together. So we know each other pretty well and for birthdays or holidays she's given me many lovely pieces of clothing that people always compliment me on.

I can't believe they're gone "forever" (I doubt we'll ever live in close proximity again, but "never say never," right?) and I haven't talked to her at all since they moved to Egypt (and right now they're spending a few weeks in Thailand at a Mission Institute). :-(

I can't believe her sons are going to have the childhood that I thought I was going to have (missionary kid, third-culture-kid, traveling the world) and I know that their unique and amazing experiences will make them drift apart from my sons... Sigh... that's life!

Rene (A):
"Rene" is the youngest of my sisters-in-law, 11 (or 10, I might be wrong in this one) years minus precisely a week younger than me. We met soon after she and K3 started dating when we visited D & K2 in Texas, while K4 was living there for a while and K3 was living with us in Massachusetts (for about two years all four brothers lived in the U.S.!). She was visiting MA when Kelvin was born, so she got to meet him right away with K3. (maybe that's also one of the reasons why she's Kelvin's favorite aunt -- the first one he met? ;-) Two years later, I almost missed her beautiful wedding because my youngest son was born only a week before the big day, but I managed to fly with a six-day-old and made it! It was such a thrill! (and a surprise to everyone, apart from K, obviously)

As the only American, I hope she feels included and an integral part of the in the family. In any case, we all joke that her son is the "most Brazilian" of all the grandkids and she was the lucky one to have the ONLY GIRL out of eight grandkids (the eighth one, and 7th boy, is due this summer). I totally think that she is (and would be) the best mom to a girl of all four of us, though! She's also the most athletic (having run several marathons) and the healthiest (well, not all of the time! ;-) person in the family.

In addition to loving popcorn and cats, we have lots more in common because both our husbands (K & K3) studied and taught the same science and she and I studied language and literature (she earned a master's degree a while back). She is the only person in the family I can really talk to about my work and academic matters. She even read parts of my dissertation! I wish that over the years we'd have more time to talk about our passions for literature and teaching, but I'm thrilled that she has a (sporadic) blog and reads mine!! So she probably she knows even more about me (or more in depth at least) than D. All the writing I do and her always cheerful comments are equivalent to lots conversations, that's for sure! ;-) And I'm a huge fan of her writing and her adventures (she's so much more hard core than me!) chronicled in her blog and sometimes, like whirlwind day-trips [?!!] to Japan or Hong-Kong, in facebook. Thanks for always being there for me, 'sis!

M:
And all that brings me back to M, where I started. M, married to the "baby" of the family, K4 who is, comically, the tallest of the four brothers,* is "a character." Extremely opinionated, pretty, sometimes demanding, in turns energetic and the person who sleeps the most in the family. She speaks her mind so freely that I sometimes joke, tongue-in-cheek (this is a Brazilian saying that may not sound right in English) that if you have her as a friend or in the family you don't need any enemies. :-)
   * (and unarguably the thinnest, at least until now!)

She and I grew up in the same state and she knows all my family members who live in Curitiba, Paraná very well. I was first introduced to her when visiting Brazil back when Kelvin was little, in 2003-04 and always enjoyed how well she interacted with her nephews (she has always loved babies and little kids).

She was a great professional and had a fantastic job in Brazil which she loved -- she was sales rep for big pharma companies, most recently Pfizer. She and K4 were crazy to splurge on a HUGE wedding all paid by themselves with no help from families (the tradition in Brazil is that the bride's family pays for the wedding). [today she says she would have used the money as the down payment on an apartment!] In spite of doing so well in Brazil, in 2009 they decided to immigrate to Montreal, Canada (mostly because it's impossible to immigrate to the U.S.!), not exactly what M wanted to do with her life, but now she enjoys being an immigrant. Their move was great for us because now we could (and can!) see and visit them several times a year!

The visits are short, so we don't interact enough, but M always likes to chat on skype (we do that with Rene & K3 once in a while too), especially when she needs any kind of advice on shopping or other things. She loves to share what she's doing around the house, especially for the new baby's and nephew N's bedrooms. Amazingly I was able to be there to photograph the birth of their son N! And then my sons and I could also be there for N's first birthday party. I probably won't be there for the next baby's birth, but we'll go meet him in August.

M & I love the color green, but apart from that (and our home state/town), we don't have much in common, that's why her unexpected comment about the shoes struck a chord with me. I'm no expert in social interactions, but I feel that identifying with people is one of the most basic steps to building a relationship. K & I couldn't stop talking the day we met because we had a nearly endless number of interests and experiences in common that we wanted to share and we're still talking that way 24 years later.

I'm glad that slowly, but surely, I'm building relationships with my "sisters" and I hope that in spite of the distance, we can continue to interact and become closer. Acknowledging the things we have in common, like shoes, is a good start! :-)

"I'm Alive" A Song For Brazil's Rainforest - Coming on Earth Day!

"I'm Alive" is project filmed in the Tijuca Forest in the city of Rio de Janeiro by Brazilian musicians Caetano Veloso, Lenine (who recently has become one of my favorites!), Criolo, Emicida (rapper), and Pretinho da Serrinha. Here's the clip, narrated by the Brazilian top-model Giselle Bündchen:

The video was posted last week and I can't believe it has only 8 thousand views! I hope more people see it and support the Rainforest Alliance -- more information here!

I hate money...

Seriously... I don't have a problem talking about money as much as I don't have a problem talking about my age -- both taboo subjects for a lot of people, the first one particularly in this country, I suppose. As for age, I've gotten used to my indiscreet boys broadcasting out loud how old I am to classmates and friends far and wide (my oldest doesn't do much of that anymore, obviously).

[ridiculously long run-on sentence]: I'm 42 and I should be happy that with my two "jobs" I make nearly 50K a year, so I know I'm doing OK compared with billions of people worldwide and shouldn't complain, but the possibility I'll make way less than that next year, K not having a summer salary, my summer class probably being canceled, and the fact that there's this huge expensive-tickets trip coming up next summer and all of the things I wish we could do added to those we actually need, just make me overwhelmed, stressed, and make me hate money (especially its lack) more than anything.

OK, rant over. I don't want to write more about that. such a first-world problem. such a whiny person. Very very bad! :-( It's just that sometimes (ok, all of the time) I get sick and tired of living a very frugal life which is the only life I've known and probably the only life I'll have so I should just shut up, right?

ok, bye then. (says the ashamed blogger, as she shamelessly hits publish)

Sisters I

This weekend it was my oldest maternal aunt Esther's 85th birthday, so my mom's other sister, Ruth, drove (OK, her youngest son drove ;-) all the way from Curitiba, state of Paraná, where she lives to my parents' house in the São Paulo countryside* (and aunt Esther came too from the capital). Then on Sunday they all drove to São Paulo (city) to celebrate at aunt Esther's house with a churrasco [Brazilian barbecue]. I'm SUPER jealous of my local friend Mimi who happened to be in Brazil and got to meet both of my aunts. I haven't seen aunt Ruth since July 2012... :-(

Here are two photos of the sisters this past weekend (cropped & edited, my mom's camera is not very good):

 Helena, 73; Ruth 81; Esther 85

Their mom, Adelina, lived to be 94 years old, but I'm always worried about them. Especially on how my mom would deal with losing her sisters. (sniff, sniff) In the mean time, each moment has to be cherished, even from a very long distance! I'm actually glad that my friend was there. She shared a special moment of my family's history and she can rub some of it off onto me. Sigh...

* Aunt Ruth's visits are is really always "momentous" because they are to rare!! In all their lives I think aunt Ruth has been to my parents' house only three or four times (and my uncle only twice! He doesn't like traveling much, he's such a character!).

Intrigued: Should I go Gluten Free?

Eating a healthy diet isn't easy, especially when I'm so tired by all my teaching and mega-commuting to feel like cooking. So I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I haven't been very good about feeding my family well-balanced meals. It's hard enough to try to be mostly vegan at home (when we don't have guests), but lately something else has presented itself and, because of my parents, I'm intrigued.

After reading the Wheat Belly book my parents have gone gluten-free and my brother's wife is not feeding any gluten to their kids. My dad has actually lost some weight and they feel great, so mom and dad have been kind of gently nudging me towards checking this out.

I have friends who are celiac (severely allergic to gluten), so I understand how serious of an issue gluten can be for certain people. I am also aware that parents of kids in the autism spectrum think that going gluten-free benefits their kids (and I know it may benefit people with ADHD too), but I was pretty skeptical of the benefits of gluten-elimination in "regular people's" diets.

I also have to confess that I've been feeling pretty irritated by this whole "gluten-free fad" (as I used to call it) for years now,*  so for me to be even considering it is a breakthrough. It's just annoying to realize the bad timing of this because I finally learned how to make amazing no-knead crusty bread (I promise to post some photos). :-(

I don't like to be extreme or radical in anything (so we do eat dairy once in a while and, much more rarely, fish), but maybe I'm wrong and in order to reap the full-benefits of any dietary choices we should be more strict... In any case, I'm not a big "bread person" so I think I would be OK and not crave it too much (now, not eating rice or potatoes, as the paleos do, I think it's going a bit too far!!).

I'll keep you posted as to whether I decide to give it a try. Maybe it will help me with ADHD, who knows?! Do you have any experience with a gluten-free lifestyle? Please share.

P.S. And there are more recent books like the Grain Brain, by a neurologist who claims that carbs and sugars actually cause dementia, ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc. Sigh...

*and as a believer in the benefits of an animal-products free diet I've been particularly irked by the "paleo" diet)

Epic Wedding Shower!

I can't resist, I have to post these photos! 

Many of them are a bit blurry because there wasn't enough light to photograph without flash. :(
I edited them and cropped some (a first for me! I never take the time to edit, but I'm learning).

I was only responsible for the drinks, my passion fruit mousse, and helping set things up (thankfully, because I was up most of the night on Saturday with my husband who was making a movie for the shower on iMovie). And I also gave suggestions to the bride's mother which helped her plan some of the decorations. This shower was a group effort, although the bride's mom made most of the decorations and the food. Oh, and I made prints of the couple's photos and put them in picture frames from my house, and prepared a banner (inspired by this one) with the bride & groom's names, but didn't take any good photos of it.

The "Lovebirds" ;-)

aren't they adorable? :-)

 

The drinks 

(plain water/seltzer water with fruit and punch made with Hagen Daz sorbet)

 

 

 

An overview:

 Decorations:

 The Food! (mostly Romanian)

 The Desserts: 

(my passion fruit mousse* is in the tiny cups)

 

 The Gift table:

 

Wasn't it a lovely shower? :)

* I make it using frozen passion fruit pulp by Goya, if anyone is wondering, blended (in a blender, obviously) with condensed milk and "La Crema" heavy cream.

Busy: Cooking, Teaching, Writing, Presenting, Helping

Yeah, I've been crazy busy.

Last weekend (Saturday night & Sunday) I cooked TONS of food and drove to U#2 with all that food to perform my "semesterly" ritual of feeding my students Brazilian food. It was tiresome as usual and with some drawbacks such as much lower turnout of students than in previous semesters and uncomfortable feelings because I was busy cooking and cleaning while my colleague was having a good time and talking to the students. I think this is all I'm going to say about that... sigh!

It was lovely to go to my friends' new house for the first time and sleep there, I wish I hadn't gotten there so early, but it was for a good cause (little home improvement project, I'll share at another time! :-)

Then, there was the regular teaching, with a departmental conference added in for "good measure" (ha ha ;-).  Old-timers here will know that I just love conferences, though, and I've been organizing a panel with students every year  for this particular one (except last Spring because I didn't have many students at U#1). This year's panel was just fantastic! I had a former student (who's finishing his master's and will go on to Duke to do his phd in Brazilian history!!) and three current students who spoke about various fascinating topics related to Brazil (don't want to share or else you can google and possibly find me ;-).

I wrote my paper on the fly, downloading (through Google reader for the first time ever) 15 articles on Wednesday night then writing the paper all day on Thursday, including during this poetry panel I participated in at the conference. ;-) I was done for our panel, though, and the paper came together pretty nicely in the end! Phew!

OK, now on to helping, my favorite activity, something nearly innate in me, a trait I "inherited" from my parents and took to even greater lengths (particularly in the cooking department). I spent quite a bit of time this past month helping organize these friends' wedding shower and it'll be tomorrow afternoon. Last night I started making them a banner that looks a bit like this (slightly different colors -- added yellow) and I just finished now! I am responsible for the drinks and I'll make Brazilian passion fruit mousse, but I mostly have to help the bride's mother to decorate the venue.

When it rains, it pours, so tonight we have another shower, a baby shower this time, involving some of the same friends, but I 'm not helping with this one. I'm just really upset that the book I ordered wasn't delivered on time because for whatever strange reason, Amazon isn't selling it (it's Dr. Sears' Baby Book) and I had to order from someone else that didn't offer prime. I paid double for express shipping, but it didn't work out. :(

OK, gotta go pack that present and find out whether I have a ride for tonight or whether I have to drive there by myself!

24 Years Ago TODAY!!

I met my husband for the first time at a bus stop in the "Francisco Morato" Avenue in São Paulo (city). My friend was asking me this evening how I'd met my husband and, so I remembered that today was our "anniversary" of meeting each other!

YIKES, years ago when I first blogged about this only 16 years had passed so I feel really really old (and an "ancient" blogger).  

I love to remember and cherish this day, it was truly the a day that changed my life forever! I like to say that my sons' births were the most amazing things that ever happened to me, but they wouldn't have taken place if I hadn't met K, so our meeting is even more important!

I am away from home tonight (I cooked dinner for my students), so I've only spent part of this day with him (working feverishly to finish cooking the meal). I'm glad I remembered to blog about it, though!

Remember Slavery & the Transatlantic Slave Trade

Today is UNESCO's "International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade."

The very first class I took in graduate school was a class (taught only this once, back in 1998!!) on Slavery in Brazil, so this topic has remained of great interest to me and my two publications are related to it. You may not know this, but over 90% of all Africans brought to the Americas during the period of the slave trade were taken to the Caribbean and South America and around 60% were taken to Brazil. Brazil was also the last country in the Western Hemisphere to end slavery (1888).

An amazing resource is the The Transatlantic Slave Trade Voyages Database, especially its Introductory Maps! This is the first one, but you should check the others:

I hope to continue producing more scholarship related to this topic as well as raising awareness of it's connection to Brazilian history and culture in my classes!

Writing is what I do

I was thirteen when I first felt the urge to write what I felt (one night I simply had to get up from my bed, grab a pen and a notebook and write!). From then on, I never stopped.

Journal entries, countless poems, reflections that could have become essays, parodies, and (very rarely) ideas for a play. Never fiction (only with prompts in writing class in high school).

Studying literature almost killed all my writing, except for journaling. I did write a few more poems, even translated and "published" them in several volumes of an yearly journal from our department's undergraduate majors.

Then I started blogging, and wrote a 500 page dissertation, and continued blogging.

Published 2 academic articles (one of which I translated into Portuguese and which was published -- last year -- in a super prestigious literary journal in Brazil), did not publish an essay in this book (it's ok, it would have "blown my cover" -- ha ha, unknown little blogger that I am!)... and I keep on blogging. (even if it's not a conversation anymore, it's one only if you're really well known)

Why am I writing all this?

Because I love writing, in spite of the fact that I don't really do it well enough -- that's why (in addition to not having time) I never really got involved with Literary Mama, though I know several of the founders virtually and in person and I think it's a great site.

Not good enough.

But I don't care. I write for myself here and I write... tons of emails to my students, to friends and family. I write long comments on blog posts by my friends and also on status updates on facebook.
I can just write and write.

I write.

Because words matter.

I'm actually writing this because I'm helping organize a wedding shower. Helping is what I do even more than writing. Much more because it's more important. Being there for people is more important than anything. That's why, deep down, I truly don't care for an all-consuming academic career (though I do wish I could do research). Because I need time for people.

So, I'm helping organize this wedding shower as much as I can with my busy schedule. The bride and groom are close friends and today the bride emailed me (even though, poor thing, she's so incredibly busy in medical school). She wanted my help to write the Evite message from the wedding shower host (technically her mom, in practice us, her friends, in addition to her mom) and that's what she wrote at the end of her cute email:

p.s. I'm asking you L... because i know you can write :) well.

That really moved me and made me happy. "Writing is what I do" was my first thought. And yes, I'd like to think I write well, even though by some standards I really don't (and you write way better than me, J! And you too, Heidi! Not to mention my SIL who's an awesome writer, and writing teacher!). Unfortunately I don't have a gift for editing and rewriting and reworking. Maybe it's the ADHD, or the oversensitivity and thin skin. So I don't think I will ever publish anything, really. I probably "don't have what it takes" (but it doesn't matter, because I can help and love people and be there for them!).

After I wrote and sent the little "blurb" to my friend she replied with "you are simply awesome." And if that's what awesome means: being there for people, doing what I can to help (especially if it involves writing, or photography, or cooking, or anything, really), yes, I am. Thank you very much. I just hope I can keep it up. Forever.


P.S. it is really hard to hit publish because I'm keenly aware that this could be a much better post with much editing, but I just don't have the time. And I don't want this in my draft folder... oh well! And since I'm writing this p.s. I have to mention that I (again!) accidentally published a post that was still a draft (about needs & wants) and I hope to finish and publish it for real soon, OK? Sorry!

"The institution of the faculty wife is alive and well in academic culture. She's an adjunct."

Ha! I should have a new blog called "The New Faculty Wife," shouldn't I?

NAH... are you kidding me?

In fact, that line is so painful to read that it just had to become a blog post title.

(well, it is still painful, even after I read the really, really [irritatingly] upbeat article that the pseudonymous "Marie Smith" wrote yesterday FIVE years ago for the Chronicle, but which someone tweeted this week, so I read it, unaware it was so old ;-). Her strife to write a "resentment-free" essay paid off, but her anonymity makes it clear that it's an unpleasant situation to be in. Sigh...)

~    ~    ~    ~
I remember the day I met my office mate as if it were yesterday. I also met another "faculty wife" right then, but we never saw each other again. I wonder if that bright German young lady is still around... (I'll answer this question at the end!)

Anyway, I met E at the end of the orientation program at U#1 and we had just come out of a very depressing session for "part-time faculty." We were right outside the building, sitting on the steps and talking, commiserating about our lame "part-time" jobs. P, the German young woman sitting next to us, sounded pretty rebellious and I jokingly said we should begin an association of adjuncts -- I should have probably said "adjunct wives!" (I didn't know back then that there were no unions here).

E, my current office mate at U#2, had just moved to the U.S. from Spain because she'd gotten married to a TT professor at U#1 (he'd been there for several years). P, the German girl, hadn't been married long as well and her husband -- like mine -- had just started his TT job at U#1. The main difference was that P had a degree in the same area as her husband so she would be teaching in the same department.

Back to E, though... She was an adjunct for two years at both U#1 and U#2 and in the second year she was actually also full-time at U#3 -- a one year appointment to replace someone who had taken a leave of absence which wasn't renewed.

On the year I started at U#2 she also applied for a full-time lecturer position there and we started together (that's why I asked to share an office with her, it was nice because we already knew each other).

Last year the department decided to give E and two other lecturers (including the current chair's spouse) three-year contracts which came with a 14K pay raise!

I teach the "wrong" language, though, so, as you already know, I am risking going back to part-time next semester. The "perfect time" to learn, after looking for her in the university website, that P, the young German woman is actually a "visiting assistant professor" right now -- the perks of being on the same discipline as one's husband!!*

In any case, I don't know if P will ever become tt faculty and I know that E doesn't want it at all, she's happy to continue as a lecturer.

Right now, I will be "over the moon" if only I can remain a full-time lecturer because that sounds the tiniest bit better than simply "adjunct!" Wish me luck!

* My husband's department has not one, but TWO faculty couples in which one was a tenure-track professor and the other one ended up entering the TT later after being full-time non tt faculty for a while. Interestingly, both couples are from Romania!

The End of an Era & Saying Good-Bye

Yesterday afternoon, after a busy weekend with tons of driving, we said good-bye to my brother-in-law ("K2") and his family by having a late lunch at K's family's favorite chain restaurant, Olive Garden.

Then we drove home in the snow while they drove to the airport where the snow didn't hold them back and they flew to Turkey then Egypt (we're hoping they arrived safely because we haven't heard from them yet!).

For almost exactly ten years we lived only a couple of hours away from them and we got together as often as we possibly could because we wanted our sons to grow up being very close. When they moved from Michigan their eldest boy was only five months old and our youngest nine months old, so these cousins practically grew up as brothers and they consider each other as best friends. Then they had another boy less than two years later and our four sons spent lots of time playing together whenever we visited each other.

That's why we were all so sad when we found out they would be moving across the world. And now we don't know if our boys will ever live close together like this again (they do plan to send the boys to study at the boarding academy close to us, but that's still many years in the future). It's definitely the "end of an era," one of those life changes that we need to accept and move on. That's why we didn't cry -- we need to approach this 100% rationally and see the positive sides even though it's hard and we know we'll grieve their departure and miss them like crazy.

In January they'll be back from a few days and we're already planning what we'll do together (in spite of the fact that our sons will be in school already). Now every vacation will revolve around their visits and getting the boys to see their cousins. Something tells me it will become harder and harder to plan spending time with friends who live far away (e.g. in Brazil). Sigh... this is part of life too.

Let's hope they will soon have internet access so we can be in touch -- the world is so much "smaller" now that we have the web, right? One more thing to be thankful for.

Leaving the Major Carriers!!

Almost precisely ten years after going wireless we're delighted to finally be able to ditch the major wireless carriers!! 

Since 2004 we've used Verizon, T-Mobile and, more recently, Sprint, and now we're going to be using Ting! Three days ago they started accepting the iPhone 5 and we immediately switched!

Apple fanatic "iKelvin" won't be able to have an iPhone, but he's happy to have bought a Samsung S4 Mini (hey, Jen, you win!!) and can hardly wait until it gets here.

My phone hasn't been switched yet, but it should be by the end of the day. The early termination fee will be LESS than our monthly payment and we hope to save quite a bit of money!

OK, we're almost at the ski place and this geeky family is playing with remembering what these acronyms stand for: PDF, NASA, LED, LASER :-) Do you know? 

Twelve! (03/09/14)

Kelvin turned twelve on Sunday and when I told him today that I hadn't had time to blog about his birthday he let out a whining sound (bless his heart!). So I have to rectify this situation, no matter how late I go to bed!

Unlike his younger brother who doesn't much like to be blogged about, Kelvin enjoys it when I write about him. He even has a blog, but he doesn't update it. We want to wait one more year so he can use google products without fear of being shut down after the pretty sad loss of his email account a couple of years ago (to make a long story short & not to have to look for the link, he was invited to join Google+, tried to register & when he had to enter his birthdate his main email account [he has three or four like me] was deleted! It could only be recovered if we lied about his age, which we didn't want to do... sigh...)

Before I talk about his day, let me just share his favorite recent photo (above) and say a few words about my handsome "tween" boy! When I posted these photos to facebook a friend asked me if he had already began to act surly like a typical teenager and I think that the photos speak for themselves a bit. He's got plenty of "attitude" already, but I know it may get much worse.

One thing is certain, my son really cares about his appearance now! After his latest haircut in Brazil (finally someone got it right! Too bad I ruined it just slightly by cutting his hair a bit a couple of weeks ago [no photos from "after," just before in this post]), I've been helping him to blow dry his hair and, once in a while, he wants me to use the straightening iron. (I will delete this info if he tells me to! ;-) Isn't he the cutest thing, though? I love it that he still wants to spend so much time with me and wants hugs and kisses. I won't ever take that for granted because I know that for a period it will be very different!

He's maturing and growing every day and... he's getting a phone next week which has been his greatest dream for a while now! I could go on and on about my "baby," but I need to get some sleep! ;-)

His birthday celebration was great, but bittersweet: skiing with all the men in the family who were here! With his dad, his two uncles and three cousins (including the 3.5 year old!). The women didn't go (though I did want to). D (K2's wife) stayed home to study Arabic and I went shopping with M, K4's wife, who is pregnant and needed to buy things for the baby. She's having another boy, the 7th grandson!

Kelvin was looking forward to snowboarding with his uncles, especially with "K2" who had seen him  try to snowboard over a month ago when he had just started learning and who could really appreciate how much he had improved. All the boys enjoyed themselves very much and I was glad that in their excitement with the novelty of spending several hours together on the ski slopes and (especially) the terrain park, they didn't stop to consider that this is one of their last times together until January next year. Here are the cousins together for one last time until probably Dec. 2015

-- we were missing only two who are in Brazil :(

Well, here's the post, Kelvin! Now I need to write another one about your present! But that will have to be at another time.

The Lamest Spring Break Ever

I'm mildly depressed at our most boring and "sad" (well, it will end really sadly, more on that later) Spring Break ever.

OK, last year was WORSE because the two universities' Spring breaks didn't even coincide, this year at least K & I are off on the same week. Sigh...

The original plan (from when we we excitedly found out our breaks matched) was to drive down to Florida for a week, glorious! Later K decided against it, though, so the boys wouldn't miss more school (they missed several days because of our trip to Brazil). So sad!

Then, K's younger brother ("K4") was planning to visit from Montreal and when we realized that it would be one of K3 & family's last weekends before their move we organized our last "half-family reunion" (and birthday celebration for my eldest son). This was last weekend (and I'll try to blog more about my son's birthday celebration later).

The rest of the week has been relatively uneventful... On Monday I cleaned the house and made Oreo-vanilla ice-cream "cake" & took it to my school to the delight of all 6th grades while my husband went to his office & lab. Then I took the boys for piano lesson.

On Tuesday I took a whole-morning nap!!! (Too bad I had weird nightmares...) and spent some time outside with my youngest son. I also did more cleaning. K had to spend the whole morning judging a science fair at the university (he regretted having volunteered during Spiring Break!) and then he had to go to a meeting at the Brazilian Embassy in DC. And I had to get the boys to bed by myself... :-(

Yesterday I spent most of the day at my sons' school - I made more Oreo ice-cream "cake" for the 6th grade teacher since he'd loved it! I also sent emails and talked to people planning both a wedding shower and the farewell party for the elementary school principal who is leaving with his family...

Today I "dragged" my poor husband to an outlet store because he badly needed shoes and we also wanted to check skiing/snowboarding clothes and we were successful.

The plan for tomorrow is to have the boys miss school so we can go skiing/snowboarding for he last time his season. I actually wanted to drive to the coast to do some sightseeing, but I prefers to stay home.

On Saturday night we have a birthday party to attend in a city 2h away (we may travel there tomorrow night) and on Sunday we want to have lunch with my brother-in-law's family before they go to the airport to move away to Egypt. :-(

So the break will probably end in a very sad note and we'll be grieving the "end of an era" of family geographical closeness for a while. I also hope to write more about this, but in case it doesn't happen, it's registered here.

Yeah, apart from last year's unfortunate mixed up schedules, this is certainly one of the lamest spring breaks we've had!

Productive (and Freezing!) Snow Day

In our first snow-day this year, back on January 21st, we were super, mega productive! I did four loads of laundry and cooked and probably cleaned the house.

That was not the case with the 2nd & 3rd days, Feb. 13-14 (technically no snow days for the school as I explained yesterday). I don't even remember what I did, but I know it involved lots of being cozy in bed and taking naps! :) Only on Friday I think I cooked and cleaned some.

Today K got up determined to be productive! :) We first woke up at 7:40 so I could go online to find out whether U#2 was cancelled (U#1 texted us about it, so we knew as soon as we looked at our phones) and once I found out classes were cancelled, I went back to sleep for a little bit longer. K got up and started on his productivity quests, but the boys jumped into our bed around 8 and I napped and didn't get up until close to 9.

By then K had made breakfast and immediately started cleaning out his bedside table and drawer and the dressers in our bedroom, so I had no choice and began to clean too. I also loaded the dishwasher and washed most of the other dishes in the sink. It took me forever (ADHD makes all "tidying up" very challenging), but I finally cleaned my bedside table and the floor next to my bed.

I only did one load of laundry -- late in the day (and I forgot about it for a couple of hours, so it's drying only now! ;-), but I cleaned out my sons' closet and separated three full bags of their outgrown clothes to donate to friends.

I should have worked more (I have several piles of grading waiting for me), but I mostly just sent various necessary emails and announcements to my students. I'm going to try to work a bit more on the grading before I head to bed, but I'm already yawning. :)

K and youngest son shoveled the driveway and went sledding in the backyard, but Kelvin chose to read on his ipad after he'd cleaned his bedroom, studied piano and put dishes away in the kitchen. So my husband asked him to shovel  the deck and he worked on it for a while until it was getting dark.

It was SOOOO cold outside that I was truly happy to remain indoor and drink cups upon cups of hot tea. K had already taken the cars out of the garage (after cleaning the driveway) when he checked the forecast for tonight (temperatures are supposed to go down to 7 degrees!) and decided to bring the cars back in. I helped getting the cats inside and cleaning the cat litter so we could put the trash in the curb (collection is tomorrow) -- the garage door was open and I almost froze while cleaning. I shiver just thinking about how cold it was/is out there!

Last, but not least, we had "breakfast for dinner" -- yummy vegan pancakes!

P.S. I really enjoyed watching the Oscars last night. I've been watching for years. In high school when I still lived in Brazil I'd stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning to watch until the end! (it used to be 3h difference, but right now it's 2 and next week it'll be only 1 hour forward there).

Murmuration -- for my friend Heidi!

On January 31st, Heather (Dooce) posted a link to this amazing video and when I watched it I immediately thought of my friend Heidi who had posted some photos of a multitude of starlings in her beautiful blog Ladders of Mercy last year in January. (I'm sorry it took me so long to write this post!) And infinitely sorrier that she had to move away... :(

Did you know they were called Murmuration?


Murmuration from Islands & Rivers on Vimeo.

Prepared

More snow is coming our way and we're prepared! The extent of the preparation consists of driving the cars into the garage (after bringing the cats inside the house so they won't run out into the cold and wet evening)...

I don't mind more snow, especially if it means one less day of driving 152 miles for me! I'm just worried that classes at the university won't be canceled until the last minute, but even with that risk and that stress, I didn't want to drive tonight to my friends' house and be stranded all day there tomorrow. I really want to be home spending more time with my family.

The boys haven't had that many snow days, so we've thoroughly enjoyed each one we've had -- one in December, the others in the past two months. Technically, they had a total of three (and five in practice) because in one of the snow days school was cancelled anyway for another reason [teacher in-service]-- how lucky of the school! -- and they also had another day in which they logged in snow-related activities at home to count as a school day. It looks like the school wants to do that tomorrow again, we'll see.

So I couldn't be happier and more relaxed. Ready to email my students about an assignment they can do instead of having class tomorrow and ready to grade as I watch the Oscars. YAY!

Growing up

My sons are growing up so fast! :-(

(I know, this statement is a total cliche for every parent, but oh, so true.)

Especially the eldest (the one whose 12th birthday is in 8 days). He asks me hard questions sometimes ("What does OCD stand for?" And after the explanation, "Am I OCD?").

This week, for the first time I can remember,* he reacted pretty strongly to my job-related stress and asked a lot of hard questions which I didn't have enough time to answer (but hope to do it over time).

* The boys seemed pretty oblivious to all the stress and upheaval back in 2007 when K lost his Big Pharma job and in "The Big Depression" 2009 when we worried about losing the house. But they were much younger then.

Then, as I was tucking him into bed that night, I found out that he actually had felt some of the effects of the upheaval from 2008 and 2009 that resulted in our move here more keenly than I realized. He asked me: "Why did dad have to leave the Big Pharma job?" "Why did we have to move from PA, I loved that house!!" (Me too honey, me too, sniff -- particularly after the transformation - before & after photos worth checking ;-)

Hard to answer!! If you're a longtime reader you'll know that K decided to walk away from the industry job to go back to Academia -- how to explain that to a 12 year old in a way he can understand and without boring him to tears about the job market, etc?

Some of this week's questions: "What do you mean you may not have your job anymore?" "Won't you ever go to _that town_ anymore?" "Why won't you be full time anymore?"

These made me want to be more careful about my own reactions and how much I share with the boys. I've always been really honest with my sons and I'm basically an "open book" kind of person (it's hard for me not to show my emotions), but I don't want to cause them more stress than necessary for a situation that's still uncertain and that may even be resolved. Sigh...

Then, this afternoon, when K put some music to play in the living room Kelvin said: "I don't want to listen to that, it reminds me too much of Philadelphia." :-(

And as sad as I feel about my nostalgic son (because he really enjoys nostalgic conversations and memories) missing our old house, I feel relief that we decided not to move again from here to Georgia soon after we'd moved here, even though K walked away from over half a million dollars of start-up money. Family is more important than money and a more prestigious (and stressful!) academic position and I think where we are now is a better place for the boys to grow up. Way better than that town North of Philadelphia, the spacious renovated house notwithstanding!

Conclusion
I was going to end there, but as I was writing the post I remembered that back in 2005 when this blog was only a few months and posts old, I blogged about a day when Kelvin asked tons of hard questions and I'd even updated the post in 2007 with photos I took as we were having those difficult conversations. I just re-read the post and was amazed to find he had actually asked these questions:
"Are we going to live in this house forever?" "Why not?' "I like to live here!" That's my boy! He's one of those kids who was born with an "old soul," as they say, such a serious little man at three years old!! And blogging is amazing because I can remember that moment so well nine years later!