The Angry Email.2 & PANIC!! I'll Need Rec. Letters!

First, let me explain that the original angry email was read, edited and vetted by my very cool-headed (but not less indignant) husband. So I think it was pretty OK.

Last night, however, I didn't want to wake up my husband. I tried. I made noise in the bedroom. Turned my bedside lamp, turned the bathroom lights and left the door open, sat in bed, whispered his name, but no... he didn't stir. :-(

So, a couple of hours after I wrote that angry blog post, I also emailed the chair. I don't really "regret" per se what I wrote, but I actually suggested a "solution" to the problem that he said could be tried (creating a new section of beginner language and dumping my advanced students into colleague's class -- a "solution" not guaranteed by any means which would have me teaching three 5-contact hour classes and being paid the same as 3). That was kinda of dumb of me, right?

Anyway, after having stayed awake until 5 am and then waking up at 7:30 to leave and teaching for almost 4 hours straight, when I drove home late afternoon I had to call K on the phone to stay awake (and -- I NEVER EVER do this & I'm generally caffeine-free, but there were soft drinks from a party they had yesterday, so & I actually grabbed a can of Coke and drank almost the whole thing before getting to the car, I really felt like I needed the caffeine for safety).

During that long conversation while I drove, K was telling me about the things he feels I shouldn't have written in that email and then he dropped a bomb that will have to color my interactions with everyone at U#2 and, which according to him, my email has jeopardized: I will need recommendation letters from these people I deem so unfair.

So, yeah, I wish I could just continue on my way carelessly, but I will need their recommendations if a position opens elsewhere, that's for sure.

Sigh... I don't need to ask the chair though, do I? And I still want to try to have a better relationship with NH (new hire).

OK, that's it, post over. I'll write another one in which I want to bring some perspective into the panicky last 24h.