Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Why Can't I Keep All of my FOUR Names?

OK, so I have this serious, down, whiny post almost ready, but I've decided to post this instead. I'm still whiny in here, though. Sorry about that. I guess the bitterness has been carried on ;-).

I just learned a few days ago that one of my brothers-in-law, "K3" for the purposes of this blog, is having trouble with his citizenship application because his name is too long.

Yes... I didn't know that in this country people are FORCED to HAVE ONLY THREE NAMES!

Only one of them a surname or last name. That's not the case with my sons, BTW, their middle name is NOT a "given name" -- it's my family's last name! (Same thing with my three nephews, actually).

They claim, my in-laws said, talking about my BIL's case, it's because of filling forms, or something. You cannot have too big of a name. Whatever.

And now, only now, I get it why people have to hyphenate last names if they want to keep their last names!!

In Brazil, like in many other countries (I suspect), people usually have their father's and their mother's last names (in Brazil the father's last name comes LAST, not first like in Hispanic countries -- sorry for generalizing that, it may be different in some places) and when women get married they can either keep the old name, drop any names they like, and/or just ADD the husband's last name to their name.

I opted for the last option, so I have ONE given name, Lilian, my mom's family's last name, my dad's + my husband's last name. Four names total. I actually didn't want to change my name, but I thought I wanted to have the same surnames as my children one day.

In addition, some people have "double" first names (and they often do get called by both names, so it is a BIG issue when these poor kids go to school in this country and their names get simply chopped off unceremoniously). Some common double girl names: Ana Paula, Ane Elise, Maria Júlia, Maria Clara; boy names: João Vitor, Paulo César, etc. (more girls are called by both names than boys).

There's even a children's book about this problem of an immigrant child rebelling against having her name literally changed by her teacher: My Name is Maria Isabel (here's a great review). I've been meaning to buy this book and give it to my son's good friend Maria Julia, whose name has become simply MARIA in school and I think it's SO SAD!!!! Because names are part of our cultural identity, of our selves, and her name is Maria Julia, not just Maria. Why can't the teachers be more sensitive? I wanted to give every child of immigrants that book and have them take it to their teachers!!

OK, back to the situation I'm writing about... so, my mother-in-law, who first told me about this, said that my father-in-law was upset because his son, who has a short first name and had been given his dad's name as a second name (not really a typical "double name" in this case) plus his mom's and dad's last names -- but he had to DROP his dad's first name as a second name to become a citizen.

My jaw dropped, literally, when I heard that. And I understand why my father-in-law would be sad.

But I have a plan, I'm going to ask around and find out if I can hyphenate my two "middle surnames" -- my mom's and my dad's. I hope that's possible. Well, I have five years to figure that out! ;-)

In the mean time, do you think I should begin an advocacy group for the children and adults whose name are being changed because of cultural insensitivity???

Or even a movement to change that requirement, allowing for parents to give BOTH their last names to a child? (well, THAT would be too much, I guess ;-) and one can still do it anyway, it's just that people wouldn't really know that the "middle" name is actually a surname.

So, what do you think? I'm sure Alice would have some thoughts on this issue? It would make a GREAT essay to contribute to Multilingual Living, wouldn't it?

5 comments:

Alisha Stafford Feitosa said...

It has been a very sad and frustrating process. When I got married I had to drop my second given name in order to keep my father's last name and take
K3's.

On a side note, I have several students here in Turkey who have two first names as well.

Alice said...

Yes it would, hehe. And I would be the first one to join the movement - having been a victim of such cultural insensitiveness as well .... ;)

Cheryl said...

Who says you can't have four names? I do. AD does. Legally. With the social security administration. So things fit in forms, my "one" last name reads like a hyphenated name, but with a space instead of a hyphen. AD has two middle names.

But ... it does frequently cause trouble with computer systems, and other times people add their own hyphen between the last names.

Email us if you want to know more!

Lilian said...

Thanks Cheryl!! I don't know if you saw what my sister-in-law wrote above -- that she had to drop her middle name so she'd have two last names.

It must be something in TEXAS then (that's where they got married and where my BIL is getting his citizenship) (sorry to badmouth your state, 'sis).

You know, I do have a SS card and I just looked at it yesterday when I went to renew my driver's license (yay, finally! here in PA it's tough to get one, and I needed the residency to have a license)... but anyway, my SS HAS my four names!!! So, why would they want to change it after I got the citizenship? I'll ask my BIL for more details.

pithydithy said...

That stinks!!!! It must be something unique to immigration. I got married in Texas and had no problem just tacking on my new surname so that I went from three to four names (two middle names). It's a pain, but I didn't want to give any of them up.