Sunday, November 20, 2005

Musings from an Accidental Applicant

Phew! I'm so tired!

Who knew that one little application would be so time consuming? I spent the whole day mulling over the cover letter and CV. And I have so many questions! I have no idea what to do to prepare for an interview, I spent some time reading the interests of all the faculty of the dept. I'm applying to. Even worse - I have no idea of how is the work if I do get to be hired. I mean, grad. school may prepare us to do research, teach, and even apply for jobs, but not exactly to the transition between being a graduate student and a professor. I know the teaching load is HEAVY (4 classes/ 12 credits), but, other than that, what's expected of me? Do I have to spend all day at the university? I know I probably would have to serve in a committee or two... what else? I know, I feel like a CHILD, but are there any straightforward, simple answers to these questions? Blog posts I can read? Articles from the Chronicle? If you do have any clues, please bring them on, because I'm one CLUELESS applicant! :D

I'm pretty "confident" that I won't be hired. Perhaps, just perhaps, I'll be interviewed, because I modestly think I am a good fit for the job. And... the biggest surprise of all! I feel energized by looking at my old syllabi, thinking about my teaching, and about teaching that I can do in the future. It's weird because I've had only negative feelings about these things so far, for several years...

And, I haven't been thinking of how I'd manage with the boys. For a few insane moments I feel like I could try to "have it all," you know... and not "cop-out" even though I don't have an Ivy League education :) So many things to consider, so many things in a mother's mind. I know it's a hard world for mothers out there, I've been keeping up with the discussions on the subject.

Now I've scared myself. Oooh! So, I'll stop here for today, but I'll be back, 'cause -- I've been tagged!! That feels so jolly, really! Thanks swisslovebaby/Stella's mami, I'll be bag to respond to your meme. Promise.

4 comments:

Alice said...

mmmmm these are certainly things that I've been wondering about as well. About what a professor really does, I mean. Here they have to publish articles on a regular basis in academic journals, and go to conferences, and maybe even become exchange professors at other universities and meet the Big-shots! This sounds quite interesting though! Imagine shaking hands with Homi Bhabha, Salman Rushdie and Umberto Eco ;) - A former prof of mine liked to brag that she did, so that made quite an impression on me ;)
This thing about being a mom and keeping up a profession is going to always come back to us. By being a professor at least you have regular vacations where you don't have to teach, and you can take a whole semester or year off -sabbaticals and so forth.
Maybe I am completely wrong here .. but it seems to be more flexible in terms of time and time-management than other careers where you have to sit in the office from 8am-8pm for 5 days a week.

Holly said...

Okay, I'm on the other side of this since I am married to a professor but I can tell you what I see as part of the academic job. Yes, teaching is a major part. DH has a 3/2 course load (3 classes one semester, 2 classes the other), which to me is one class too many but I digress). Bigger universities usually have a 2/2 load, small liberal arts college normal is 4/4. Committee service is also part of it - DH sits on several - a univeristy wide committe, a department commitee, and then others like honors advisory comitee and PhD committee. He's also on a search committee this year for a new position in his department. Writing is part of it - articles, books, etc. Also conferences - Dh goes to 2-4 a year. Mentoring students is also a big part of it, especially PhD students if you have them - sitting on their committe etc., but the same can also be said of undergrads, though in different ways. There are also independent studies you supervise or theses you must advise.

On the pro side he loves his job, loves teaching and thinking, has a more flexible schedule, and gets to travel quite a bit to conferences here and in europe. Cons - the workload. There is barely enough time for teaching and committees and grading and mentoring, much less reading and writing. Sabbaticals are few and far inbetween. DH had a one semester one at the three year mark and will get another one next fall (after seven years). He is expected to read and write on that sabbatical. He'll be working on book #2 next fall. Also a con - low pay for the work. Several other professors have recommended he consult on the side only I have no idea when he would have time for that.

Now DH is a total workaholic so this may not be everyone's experience. I think when you're an academic and a mom you must be very careful not to agree to too many things if possible. And you have to have good boundaries when you are "working" and when you're not. Because there isn't a time clock or anything even close to it it's easy to be working all the time. I'd say if you were starting out as a professor it would be important to find a mentor at the univeristy who could help you find your way. DH could have used that and it's taken him years to figure out how to even begin to do his job in an emotionally healthy way.

Good luck in the job search!!!

Libby said...

Bellarour has a lot of it right, Lilian. What's your field? (I know we met at ChLA years ago...children's lit? literature in general?)

4/4 is a huge teaching load when you factor in grading. I have never taught that much and find even 3/2 pretty demanding, though it all depends on the class size and the other demands on your time. Usually the higher the course load the lower the research expectations, though with the market right now that's never certain. And, yes, committee work can be huge though pre-tenure it shouldn't be. (Bellarour's right about mentors: you need someone who will tell you honestly what it's ok to say "no" to, and what isn't.)

Mostly I just wanted to say "good luck." Most people will tell you how demoralizing the job search can be, and that's certainly there, but my experience was good: it was the first time I really felt as if people were treating me as a (potential) colleague, even when I ended up not getting a job. That experience of being treated as a professional actually really helped me get it together to finish up the following year. So good luck!

L said...

Thanks "Sophie", Bellarour and Libby...

Right now my feeling is that this won't go far, since I'm not as well qualified as I could be, but if I do get to be interviewed, it will be a learning experience.

The other thing I've been worried/scared about is the 4/4 teaching load. My sons are still very young, and that would mean way too much work. When I was a TA (two classes of 30 students) or instructor (30 students) I was already overwhelmed by the work! It would be extremely demanding...