Friday, November 06, 2015

Missing Brasil like crazy

Now that it's guaranteed that we're going  (not that we wouldn't go), I took to missing Brasil like crazy. Viscerally, physically in a way that doesn't happen often (thankfully, or it would be impossible to be an immigrant otherwise).

Maybe it's also because of how unseasonably warm it is (looooove it!!!), making me feel like I'm there in early Fall or Spring. Or maybe because my in-laws are at our house and we're talking to them and "breathing in" some Brasil and 'cause I've been calling my parents almost daily to talk about one thing or another. (I always call them a lot, but generally not everyday)

I've been having these brief "hallucinations" in which I can almost feel I'm there, in specific places. Parking the car next to the city square and going to the bank with my mom in early December, ditschy, small town Christmas decorations on the grass. Going shopping for groceries, traveling to my home state of Paraná and marveling at how green everything is. Walking around the beautiful gated community where my parents love and admiring the houses. Doing all the things I do when I visit.

On one hand I know it would be impossible to live constantly feeling like that, but on the other hand, now that's these feelings come much more rarely, I cherish them and want to try to capture the feelings and hold on to them.

I am also constantly thinking about and visualizing the places we've visited in Europe, but that is different -- I hardly have any feeling associated with those beautiful views, we were there too briefly. That's why I'm not too sad that these thoughts and images from Europe & the Middle East are becoming less distinct and frequent, but I always feel I want and need to hold on to my country.

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