... And added a blogroll with a feed reader so I don't have to waste time clicking around the links in my old blogroll.
Hopefully this new development won't make me spend even more time reading blogs! :-)
We're back home after spending 3 days in Maryland. My uncle is recovering, but not doing too well -- his heart rate varies wildly and he needs a pacemaker ASAP (doctors say that they will insert one within a month) -- so he remains in the ICU. :-( Keep those prayers coming, please!
After taking almost a month to watch the Persepolis DVD (I liked the books better than the movie, as usual ;-) I decided to use the instant playback feature of Netflix and see another film, this time La Vie En Rose, about Edith Piaf's life. Too bad my BIL's wireless router is misbehaving and I watched the film in like 5 or 6 installments, 2 last night, 4 this morning. In the end, I kinda liked watching a film fragmentarily like that! This was a sad & beautiful film and Marillon Cotillard definitely earned her Academy Award. I hope K & I find a way to watch the AA winner from this year, which we've had from Netflix for about two weeks :-(.
OK, boring old post, boring old blog. I continue on, just because of myself 'cause this is a useless blog, it's a bit lesse useless than the PhD, that's all. I still have a handful of readers, but other than that, it's not taking me anywhere (I mean, no ad money, just a couple hundred bucks, no illusions of being a writer, much less an academic). Not that I'm making REAL effort for any of these things to happen, right?
Sorry, I'm not going through a good phase right now at all. I need to find more things to make me feel useful and valued -- other than being a good mama & wife (No, I'm NOT a good "housewife/homemaker," in case you're wondering, that much I alreay know). This is not going to happen any time soon, though... right now I need to continue the mama thing because I believe that it's best for my sons. It's tiring, tough, and crushing at times. That's why I cannot quit blogging, it is my lifeline. And that's why I blog so little about my sons here, they're already too central in my life and I need to focus on me a little bit too (or a lot, I guess ;-).
All rightie, that's enough for now.
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2 comments:
You need to step out of the rut, my friend. You see, the degree is neither useless nor useful in itself. It's like shovel on a hook in the garage. It's worth is measurable only by its function.
Is it ornamental, aesthetically contributing to the mood of the garage? Is it taken down and used merely to scrape dog excrement from the sidewalk, while we curse the injustice of our neighbors? Or is it cherished as an extension of its owner's arms, occasionally setting new beds for flowers and vegetables, digging holes for new plantings, transplanting and dividing the overgrowns?
As we both know, a PhD is merely three letters we can append to our names. But what it has represented in terms of our lives, our thoughts, our commitment, our follow-through, and our learning--now, that is something we can choose to cherish and use, or not.
It's not out there... the choice is ours. Take life as it comes, but hold fast the steering wheel! Your choice to be at home with your boys is a valid one, but only if it is a choice. You need to embrace it, or change it. No one here will judge you or begrudge you your decisions.
I'm glad you write about YOU--I like reading about you.
As I've told you before, I so admire your Ph.D--it is something you have, that no one will ever take away from you. But it's not the be all end all of everything. You need to build your life around what makes you happy--if it's your boys, then embrace it (as you are, I know) and don't worry about the rest of the world.
I have a dear friend who earned her Ph.D. the year L. was born. She has stayed at home with her two kids ever since. Recently she realized her dream and became a yoga instructor. Was the Ph.D a waste? I don't think so, and she doesn't either. It took her seven years to figure out what she wanted to do (apart from staying home with her children).
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