Monday, June 29, 2009

"Should I Stay or Should I Go"

Yeah, I realize that I'm dating myself a lot with that 80's song title (I'm offering a link to the young kids out there), but... whatever, I'm not shy about being almost 38 (b-day next week).

So, I have an extremely difficult decision to make in the next few days or weeks:

Should the boys and I go to Brazil or should we stay have and my parents come instead?

I know, this is supposed to be a no-brainer, I've never had to think twice about booking flights to go to Brazil (except to decide how long to stay and such), as a rule, I'm always dying to go. For some reason, maybe for several reasons, this time is different, however. I'm very undecided. One side of me (and the boys who love flying on airplanes) wants to go right away, but another side wants to stay.

First, the pros and the cons of each decision.

Pros of Going to Brazil
- Seeing dear friends and family members -- particularly my youngest nephew who I saw at one month and then never more (he'll be one on my birthday, if you recall) -- my BIL and family are moving to Brazil from Turkey.

- Traveling around a lot to beautiful places (to Parana: Curitiba, Maringa and Foz do Iguacu -- the world-famous, beautiful, Iguazu Falls, Sao Paulo city and coutryside and, possibly, Goias - the hot water springs place).

- Less daily expenses because everything is shared with my parents (and perhaps uncle) who actually usually foot most of the bills (including two plane tickets out of three).

- Flying with the boys (it's tiring, but always fun, I'm a pro at flying solo with babies and kids).

Pros of Staying Home
- Enjoying summer with the family, going to the pool (at friend's houses and, possibly, at the Y, if we can join at at discounted rate -- I don't know if they do that), driving to the beach (Jersey shore), etc.

- Enjoy the house and gardening, do projects on the house with my parents if they come.

- Possible trips to Florida (to pick up my parents and stay a few days in the Orlando, Cape Canaveral area), to Montreal -- we'll go whether I go or stay, though, K's youngest brother and wife just immigrated to Canada, and to Massachusetts (we might go either way also).

- Visits with/from family (parental aunt and uncle who live in the U.S.) if my parents are here.

Cons of Going to Brazil
- Experiencing cold weather there (it's winter) while missing hot weather here.

- Although my parents will be paying for two tickets, the expenses may hinder a possible trip in December/January for K's cousin wedding.

- Being away from K (I've been OK with that in the past, but I feel differently now, perhaps because of all we've been through this year).

- Missing possible job interviews (for adjuncting or whatever) -- this is a serious con.

Cons of Staying Home
- Much bigger expenses if we travel to Florida as we'd like to do (to make up for not going to Brazil).

- Not flying (this is a huge con for the boys).

As you can see, the cons of staying home are not that many (and I cannot really think of any more), but the pros of going are very strong...

I've been waiting for months and months to make this decision -- we were waiting for a definition on the house, selling or something, to decide what to do and during those months I was really eager to go. But now, that it's almost certain that we can keep the house, all of a sudden I want to stay... and not be away from K or from the house and my flowers (I'm yet to plant veggies -- it's too late, but I will anyway).

And there's one thing that bothers me just slightly (but not a lot, at least not enough): perhaps I'm getting too comfortable in my life here and I don't feel a strong urge to return as often to Brazil anymore. That is really sad, but I'll write another post about it shortly.

So, if you were me would you stay or would you go?

4 comments:

Keiko said...

Vixe Lilian to na mesma crise bem agora, entao nao posso ajudar! :-)

Te esperando por aqui though!

bjin,
Keiko

Renata said...

Go. Just skype K as much as you can.

Rene said...

Come see us! Baby is much more interesting now. :)

I also feel like I'm becoming a pro at flying alone with the baby--I think tomorrow will make our 4th solo trip across the Atlantic. I'm still not sure I love this.

t1 Diabetes said...

I'm a romantic at heart. Stay, enjoy your house, your husband, your garden. Enjoy the peace, because there are so many storms in life... peaceful summers to make good memories.

Brazil will be there next year, and this or next year it will never be the same. It's always changing and it's impossible to keep up with it. I miss my grandma, I miss the beach (and being able to go to the beach at night which apparently is illegal in NJ), I miss so many things but I'm here now and my life is here now. I'm just glad I can enjoy Steve and Sara, and the radishes we just picked. So you deserve this little quiet time. Make your house your home.