Some light heartdedness before I go "heavy" on here

Nah, this is really not going to be light-hearted. It's mostly a post about the things that are bothering me right now. Well... these are light, compared to the "heavier" things I want to share in posts I have already started writing or am planning to write, that's all. Sigh...

First, I'd like to remark (in a meta-blogging kind of way) that I haven't been blogging more often and also sharing more "fluff" and photos as I'd like to because the blogger app is no longer working on my phone. I wasn't aware of it (because it still worked for me), but back in February the app was pulled by Google from the iphone's app store. Now I found out about it because I can't get the app to work, it's frustrating. :-(

Second, I am overwhelmed by lots of "little things" that I haven't been doing or haven't had time to do and which weigh in my conscience and make me full of angst and cranky. Examples: I need to transfer photos from my phone and from the camera's memory cards so I can back them up (and free space on the phone to take more photos, duh). I haven't taken care of the weeds in the garden in months and months! BTW, that's not a little thing, it's a HUGE depressing thing that is driving me nuts because the ground will freeze and it will be all horrible and ARGHHHHH!!! My next house won't have a yard so I can't ever feel bad like this again... this is killing me! :-(  (and has been for the better part of the five years we've been in this house). Not to mention the messy garage that we never have time to tackle and yada yada yada. Most boring whiny post ever, I know.

OK, I will label this post (Blah) and move on.

Last, but not least, it's time again for this very demanding volunteer project at our church. I haven't really said too much about it in the past five years we've been part of it (only as part of a short post last year and a few lines in 2013)... but it's a "live theater" kind of event, extremely elaborate (particularly in the number of people involved). It has a (first) advent theme, but it's not really a "nativity" play. It lasts over 40 minutes for each group of 20 people who go through many scenes and a small Palestinian town with a market place, craftspeople, etc. There are 19-20 groups each night, leaving every 10 minutes, so the whole thing goes for nearly 4 hours. My husband and I are guides, so we have the longest speaking parts, but also the less demanding role (doing your part 3 times per night, while walking and interacting with the group and other people for 40 minutes versus doing the same thing 19-20 times for 3.5 hours with short breaks and being cold a lot because most of it is outdoors). The event goes on for FIVE nights (Thu-Mon), so it's a huge commitment, but it's also very enjoyable -- we interact with lots of people, not only from the church, but the guests that come. Our 14 year old son is a guide this year as well with one of his classmates. Our youngest has been a "school-boy" for 5 years (as was his brother until two years ago).

Yeah... OK, now let me try to finish one of those "heavy" posts...

Thanksgiving in Michigan... thinking of other bloggers during trip

I'm still grieving and upset, but I am actively choosing to avoid listening to or reading the news. I feel a knot in my stomach just by looking at email updates from Time magazine (we're still print subscribers) and thinking about their (now dreaded for me) "person of the year" issue. Sigh... My dear friend wrote very poignantly a couple of days ago about the thought of "empty tomorrows." I've always looked forward to future days, but right now it's hard to look into the unpredictable future that awaits those living in this country. OK, moving on from that, this is supposed to be an "Update" post and those are often cheery.

Last week we traveled to a place close to Michigan's Southwestern shore to spend Thanksgiving with K's cousin D who is finishing his master's degree there. D and his wife are expecting a baby girl (due Jan. 1st) and it was very nice to spend time with them. We did a quick side trip to Chicago on Friday and we played lots of board game. Their friends had a potluck Thanksgiving celebration at the house of their friend who is a pretty well-known Brazilian food blogger (I'm linking to her Christmas dinner "post" so you can see some of the decorations that were actually used in our dinner. I have photos, maybe I'll include some of them later). It was nice, and I was the one providing all of the "traditional" American Thanksgiving touches: cranberry sauce (I had made "only" 14 quarts of cranberry sauce for my son's elementary school banquet last week and I had taken leftovers), the Yams with Pecan Praline (a recipe I posted TEN YEARS ago!), roasted Brussels sprouts, and butternut squash "pudding" (crust-less pie).

What I really wanted to blog about, though, is that during the whole trip I kept thinking of the bloggers and former bloggers who live (or grew up) in places not too far from our route or from our destination. When we drove around Pittsburgh and into Ohio, I thought of Jenna who grew up there. Then, when I saw the sign for Fort Wayne I thought of my friend and former blogger Professing Mama. And when we went to Chicago I thought of Doctor Mama Esquire who lives there now, and of Jamie who is not that far away. I still want to meet these women! And I really miss all those who quit blogging along the way and who are one of the main reasons I'm on facebook a lot.

OK, gotta go because I have lots to do! I have one week of classes left (YAY!) and I have tons of grading to do. Hopefully I'll blog more in the coming days. 19 more posts to get to my "116" total for 2016. Yeah, I'm doing that, just to be cute. That was the main reason why I skipped "NaBloPoMo" for the first time in 9 years (with the exception of 2012 when I wrote only 25 times in November) -- very silly, right? In a way I'm glad I wasn't blogging daily. There would have been lots of anguish and despair about the election. Sigh... 2016 was a crazy year, that's for sure! :-(   

Still Grieving and Anxious about this Unprecedented Election... It's Scary to be in Uncharted Territory!

A few things I haven't shared in the blog, if you're my facebook friend (which you're welcome to be!) you've seen the first one:

• Last Wednesday it was tough to teach. I was stunned and upset and students were too. Students were crying. One Asian(-American) young woman cried non-stop for 10 minutes or more. I think she was trying to control herself, but I after I started the class speaking English to them, saying that I was going to let them speak about the election for a bit (and do some "therapy"), so I think that motivated her not to hold it in and just cry. I mentioned something about this kind of happening before when Al Gore lost and so they earnestly asked me what had happened in 2000, so I pulled information about that and showed it to them (it was heartbreaking to think about that too). And when I switched to Portuguese the review grammar lesson I'd planned was actually about the election too. In the second section nobody was crying, but they teared up when I mentioned the student who cried. It seems all of my students were in agreement, outraged, and confused. If anyone disagreed they were quiet and didn't let it show at all.

• On Wednesday night my 12 year old was worried and asked whether the fact that we're not citizens yet (more on that in another post, my husband is now against becoming a citizen) meant that they could kick us out of the country. "What would happend to me?" he wondered. I suppose they could deny the renewal of our green-cards, but I feel that's unlikely, unless maybe we become activists or something -- which I totally wanted to do, not to be kicked out of the country, of course, but just because it would feel useful. Sigh... In any case, how many millions of children are legitimately scared about this possibility? And what about the thousands (700K) of young people on DACA?

• My husband was so troubled, particularly on Thursday morning. He wasn't sleeping well and was very upset, like I have seen him very few times.

•  I have been spending way too much time on Facebook -- thankfully a tiny percentage of people I'm in touch with there has unsavory things to say about the election. In a way it felt like a huge support group, but after a while the negativity builds up and it gets a bit toxic. I have to try to not be on facebook that much. I'm glad I was on and saw my friend Sarah mention that the opening of SNL had been great, so I didn't miss Dave Chappelle's great show.

• It took me a while to be able to stomach listening to the news (I don't watch news, I only listen to NPR) and I am planning on avoiding as much as possible seeing or listening to the voice of that man. During SNL's Weekend Update I actually covered part of the TV screen so I wouldn't see his face. That's another reason why I should stay off Facebook.

I'm sure there would be lots more to say, but I just wanted to finish by saying that the worst part of all this is the "unprecedented" and "uncharted territory" -- it's impossible to foresee what's going to happen! Not only because this has never happened -- the election of a completely unprepared person who seems to be actually unwilling to do the actual work of POTUS, but also because of his unpredictable ways. Everyone is saying that they would "love to be wrong," but right now there is still lots of reasons to fear.

I hope we're wrong, but something tells me, deep down, that it won't be good. I can't be good. And... what if this creature is reelected? What if? :-(

There are just too many worries and concerns. It's hard to stop grieving and move on. What about the environment? Foreign relations? the Middle East & Syria and the refuge crisis? What about the immigrants (including me)? What about marriage equality and access to contraceptives and Roe vs. Wade? And the Affordable Care Act?

Let's all hope we're wrong, that our fears are unfounded, I'm sure everyone would love to be proven wrong. Sigh...

The Dystopian Future is Here :-(

Although I hope I may be wrong. I'd LOVE to be wrong, really!! I never hoped so much in my life that I may be wrong about my gut feelings and impressions about "this man" and his upcoming "regime" (which is what he called the current presidency). This hasn't been funny for a long time, but now it's downright despair-inducing and terrifying.

This is what I wrote on facebook at 1:52 am on election night. I tried to post this from my phone multiple times yesterday morning, but I think the Blogger app is broken:

The dystopian future that literature has been warning about for years and years is here. The Brave New World of 1984, Fahrenheit 451, The Handmaid's Tale, Parable of the Sower, and, more recently, The Hunger Games is closer to reality. Go read those books if you haven't and let's prepare for a new reality in which facts may not matter anymore and prejudices speak louder than reason.

(I taught these classic "dystopian fiction" books multiple times as a teaching assistant and I learned to love the genre, these books are important, especially now! It's just kind of sad that they make me realize all that could happen if extremists ideas are carried out to their full extent.)

Thankfully most people weren't online, or I might have gotten a handful of negative comments, so that didn't happen. In any case, I with I had received more comments from like-minded people, but I decided not to re-post my thoughts yesterday. Just because I have a few people as "friends" who disagree with me and because I feel very unsafe on facebook, although I've spent many many hours there in the past two days.

I stayed up to the bitter end, on election night. I took screenshots on my phone of the unbelievable progression of NYT's graphs and charts. I also took photos of the TV screen, as it was so unbelievable -- Trump saying his victory speech while most of the networks hadn't still called his victory (not even Fox, at first). It was very surreal.

I didn't have a chance to finish watching Hillary's concession speech from yesterday (my brother- and sister-in-law facetimed us from Canada as we were watching the broadcast online and K spent a long time talking to them and explaining it). I haven't read many pieces on the elections, I have, though, read what most of my friends on facebook had to say.

I unfollowed a few people during the election, a couple of which ended up commenting back to me on other people's threads recently. I have spent some time trying gently to tell some people to be more sensitive (this one woman I know was saying the protesters should "grow up and get over it."

Sigh... There are too many thoughts in my head right now. I hope to write a couple more posts to share them and do "cheap therapy." Oh, yeah...

Last, but not least, if you're a Back to the Future fan the way our family is, you'll know that yesterday we woke up on the alternate 1985 and Biff Tannen is in charge, check out the image in this tweet. Sigh...

We need to find a way to fix it, too bad we can't travel back in time!

Oh no! Is she going to lose?????

What some people are saying is that this countryside INCREDIBLY sexist, even more than it is racist. 

Sigh...

Unbelievable. And the two third party candidates seem to be doing real harm. :-(

10:20 NYT says 80% chance of Trump winning! :-(

NaBloPoMo?

I guess that maybe I'm going to try blogging daily in November once more, although that will defeat this recent idea I had of maybe posting 116 times this year (to look cute, since I can't possibly reach 216). Writing every day in November will take me to 123. ;-P

Oh well, maybe I'll change my mind so I can do 116 posts.

More tomorrow!

Quick "Hi" & ULTRA Busy Weekend Recap

I'm alive, just busy. Maybe not as overwhelmed, due to the fact that I'm working less and one other thing I will hopefully blog about at some point.

I've started at least one link-filled post about laundry (last Sunday!) and in the end didn't finish. The funny thing is that I'm doing laundry right now, and will have to be up until the wash is done and I can stick it all in the drier (so I should go finish that post! but I won't).

OK, yeah, lame post. Just to recap the last week: I began shopping for the once a semester dinner that I cook for all my students (40-50 people!) a week ago. Then I started preparing some of the food ahead of time to freeze. More shopping followed on Thursday & Friday.

The weekend started with a BANG: an event at church which involved the 200 students of the boarding academy my son attends (as a day student); then we had friends for lunch the next day after church (something our sons had been asking for, given that this other family's son is my one of my eldest son's closets friends). Then Saturday night there was an event at the elementary school. K dropped our youngest son off and I went an hour later, but managed to escape and (just because I was super busy and had to continue cooking for the next day's dinner...  HAHAHA!) I took my eldest son to town to shop for some clothes because I had a couple of coupons and he really needs/wants a suit. We hit Kohls and Target and came back, and I cooked until 1 am.

I did sleep in on Sunday (till 9!) even though I shouldn't have, but my husband was coming with me to help me with the dinner for the first time in 4.5 years, so I indulged. We had to make sure we had arranged rides for both sons who had, respectively, a soccer game (for which we were providing snacks) & a "barn party" at school, and we were successful with those arrangements. K drove and I sent a bunch of frantic last minute emails to students about parking and reminders.

It went really well, even though my colleague (formerly "new hire" here in the blog) forgot about the event and did not show up! Two graduate students came as well as a few former-students, including one who drove from out of town (U#1) and invited two late-coming guests.

We made it back home and I didn't have to stay at my friends' house!

Guess what we're going this week/weekend -- are we taking it easy and doing low-key stuff?

ABSOLUTELY NOT, we're crazy, that's who we are. We're driving to the D.C. area tomorrow to spend about 15-6 hours with my mother-in-law since she's there with a tour group. Then we come back home and... wait for it! Drive to Philly for the weekend. In spite of a soccer game on Sunday, I'm not really in a rush to get back. We'll see, if we miss soccer it's fine...

Yeah, and I should be working now (preparing exams), and here I am, blogging, of course!

First Red! ;-) :-/

Most of the post was written while I was getting my pedicure. 

K and I are flying to LA tomorrow to attend a friend's wedding on Monday (this is the year of friends' weddings galore!). It's crazy to do a whirlwind trip like this in the middle of the semester, but hopefully it will be a nice getaway for the two of us.

I bought a dress yesterday (at Anthropologie, on clearance!) 

and today I picked nail polish colors to match. I had never done red before and I love it! 

Except that I just walked inside mg house carrying a large Costco pizza, my backpacks, and some bags, and... I bumped into one of the brick steps and chipped my one hour old pedicure!!!!!! :-(

So frustrating! 

The fingernails are lighter and I hope they won't chip before Monday! 

Sigh...
ETA:
P.S. Jen, I'm sorry I did my nails without you, I never do that! ;-) ;-P  But I think you weren't done at work yet! Oh, and I also went to Tammy's instead of Holly. They're a tad more expensive, but I think they're a bit better! (and their chairs most definitely work). Still creepy old men, sigh... :-/

I can't believe I didn't have a "Fluff" label!! Hahahaha, created!

Another 12 Hour Day

They are much less frequent now (YAY!), but once in a while I still pull out a 12-hour-day out of the house. 

Sometimes (ok, often) not because of work, but because I go shopping or browsing, but today I really did work late, past 5:30 pm. 

Glad to have just arrived home, though! 

Blogroll mostly back

I spent some time today trying to remember as best as I could the blogs that were in my now-gone blogroll and I think that I was able to do it for the most part.

This brought home the sad realization that there are very few people left in "blogland" and most people aren't posting anymore. :-(

oh well... I do this mostly for myself, so I'm still here.

All the Music Ever (OK, Almost!) ;-)

We resisted, I resisted...

Digital music is/was not my thing. I like to buy/own CDs, I love to read the liner notes. I want to know what year songs were written -- ok, that last part is generally available online. I like to OWN my music, but not paying track by track and I was outraged at the idea to pay a monthly fee for music, for video, for anything. So we've been using Spotify free for as long as it's been available (I think we began using it the day it came out or the day after -- for a few things we're early adopters).

In addition to Spotify, I did buy a few digital albums here and there in the past few years. I bought some CDs too (mostly when the music was not available digitally) and really cheap in Brazil (on my birthday).

A few months ago, though, our teenager began to pay monthly for a Google Play/YouTube Red membership, out of his own money (which he actually needs to pay for his Minecraft server and other things) and it didn't make any sense not to upgrade to a family membership, it just didn't...

(I also did some research, mostly by reading this very thorough comparison of Google Play, Spotify & Apple Music) 

So last weekend my husband got the family membership and just now I accessed it for the first time and began to add albums. I've had the app on my phone for a while, but haven't used.

And, you know...

... as much as I hate to admit it, I think this is going to work! ;-) It will be tremendous time-suck to have access to nearly all the music ever, but I think it'll be great.

I just found last year's album by my favorite (OK, I have many favorites!) Brazilian singer, Ivan Lins, that I hadn't known about before. And look at that album art, gorgeous!

So, yeah... let me go back to cleaning the family room with some lovely samba/Brazilian music in the background. I seriously want to print out this album art for my office!!

I now don't like NBC but l'm still watching SNL

And thankfully the debate spoof wasn't that terrible. I think SNL doesn't have much influence in the electorate, does it? I really enjoyed all previous elections (since I started watching SNL).

Oh, they finally have a Hispanic woman, wow! 

Hmmm... Have they ever had any Asian of any gender? 

Anyway, I keep watching and not finishing this post...

(BTW, it's the first show my 14 year old is watching with us (after all, it's PG-14)

... But the "Family Feud" game show political edition was really funny! With a bonus Daryl Hammond as Bill Clinton. 

Ok, that's it for unintentionally live-blogging SNL tonight. ;-P

ETA: I really disliked Weekend Update! They were trying to be equally negative about both... Not really funny. 

Ok, to be fair the black vs white banter between Colin & Michael was good/funny  & Kenan Thompson's David Ortiz was HILARIOUS!! I love, love, love Kenan!!

Just because my mom begged me to. :-)

And now for a little fluff... While I slowly rebuild my blog roll... :-/

I'm actually using "wrinkle cream". Sigh... My mom actually just meant that I should use some good hydrating cream, but I may as well try. It won't hurt is all I say... And I refuse to spend hundreds on stuff I don't really believe in, so I'll  just stick to the inexpensive brands. (My plan is to try different ones).

Favorite Blogs List and Feed is GONE!! :-( WHY?

Well... it looks like blogging really will have to be over soon for me or I will have to move to another platform. If I can't use my blog to get the feed of my friends' blogs, then what's the use of it?

I'm trying to understand what's going on, but just last night I checked the blogs listed on my side-bar and now they are gone. Do I need to add them back up from memory? Searching for each blog? :-(

Maybe it's a temporary problem (this has happened once before and after a day or so the blogroll was back in place, to my relief), but maybe it's not, since there's a message saying that my "HTTPS" settings have been changed in the blog.

Whatever is going on, it's pretty distressing, annoying, and is making me sad. And nobody will read this if their own blogrolls are gone! :-(

I just checked Jo(e)'s blog and her list of a few blogs from her blogroll is still there! Why is mine gone? (says she pouting).

Well... ridiculous 21st century problem, right? It still disrupts my life, though. A small part of it, but it does.

And I didn't even intend to be blogging, just came here to check if there were any new posts from friends to read.

OK, before I go, I'll start making a new blogroll from scratch and see if this one will be gone too!

So Much to Blog About, So Little...

... I don't know... time to sit down at the computer because I've been RIDICULOUSLY productive for the past three days?

Seriously, though, I have. And I will even have some video footage to prove it, although when it's turned into a time-lapse it will become a few seconds of work. Hopefully more on that someday soon.

I have tons of things to "talk" about over here. Mostly with myself, I guess, but I know that one or two people sometimes comment, which is nice!

So, yeah, I will try as much as possible to come back and blog more. Not just desperate politically motivated posts. We need some fluff! And some serious ADHD discussion. (really? maybe).

Hyperventilating Until After Election Day

I couldn't bring myself to watch the debate. I followed from afar, just through a few if my friends on Facebook and the handful of people I follow on Twitter (including Michael Moore whom I love).

I have this constant feeling that I'm hyperventilating when I think of the election. I despair thinking that there is an unbelievable chance that I could be feeling the same way for four years -- please don't let that happen, you folks who can vote!!! I've never felt so powerless in my life not being able to vote yet!

I feel so discouraged! I wish i could have the guts to tell the people in my church and school community that I wish they would just abstain from voting, because in this election, I'm feeling personally attacked. If these people vote for him, they are voting against me -- an immigrant and a woman. :-(

In the past, Republican candidates were, for the most part, "normal," respectable, reasonable men. That is not the case now. Drumpf is neither of those things, quite the contrary. If he were only an ill-prepared 6 time bankrupt businessman who does not have any concrete plans would be bad, but he is a bigot, a racist, a mysogynist, a narcissist, a joke*! :-(

How could this be happening? I ask myself over and over! It's not funny, it hasn't been funny for a while now.  I'm DREADING the start of SNL. Making fun of this election is SACRILEGIIOUS! I think that after watching that Samantha Bee denouncement of NBC I cannot watch this channel anymore (the only one I've turned in sporadically for SNL or the Olympics) with a clear conscience.

I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up on Nov. 9 to good news. 

Please, if you're a conservative, would you consider abstaining from voting?

* He makes Sarah Paling seem almost endearing. 

My 2016 Sountrack: Coldplay's _Ghosts Stories_

The year hasn't ended yet, but I want to record this here...

Before the holidays last year I somehow "discovered" Coldplay's sad, nostalgic, "break-up" album, Ghost Stories and I became obsessed with it (I don't know how I didn't come across it earlier -- I'm just not that much into pop music, but Colplay -- which I know some people hate -- I love!).

I really wanted to have been able to buy Target's deluxe edition album that came with three bonus tracks, but it was no longer available. (Yes, I still buy CDs on occasion, that is about to change because we've decided to get a family subscription to Google Play & I cannot believe I'm having to surrender to digital/streaming music!) :-(

So, these are my absolute favorites, although it's hard to choose:
1. "O" or "Fly On"

2. "Oceans"


3. "Always in My Head"

4. "True Love"

5. "A Star Full of Skies" (SERIOUSLY, that's what I said one day in the car to my sons, and then I followed it with "A Dream Full of Heads." They laughed and laughed at their crazy silly mama!), ooops, "Sky Full of Stars"


I'm not super crazy for Magic, Midnight & Another's Arms, but I like them OK enough to have wanted to buy the whole album. Thankfully, I've been able to listen to it offline thanks to Amazon Prime, but my son assures us that Google has way more music. I guess I need to trust what he's saying!

Hi?

Writer's block?

Frustration with little things in life? (Yes: weeds in garden, poor plants never planted and almost dying. Soon it will be too late for them).

Busy? Yes... but the good "new normal" busy that I really want to write more about soon.

I haven't given up blogging, nope. I'm just a die-hard fan of the genre that "changed my life" -- too bad it's not what younger people like.

OK, I hope to do a real update soon, but for now this "throwaway post" will have to do.

:-)

137

that very predictable day in which I debate the possibility of reaching a "cute matchy" number of posts this year: 216.

I've made it in the past two years, but this is the year I've written the least posts so far. By this time last year, I had only about 83 posts to go (I'd written 132 posts by the end of August, this year only 75).

Nah, I don't think I will try to accomplish this useless feat this year...

And I was reading about this new platform, Medium, where posts look gorgeous, but I'm sure I could never move this behemoth blog over there, so I'll just stay here for now.

P.S. I'm pretty positive I've lost all the gorgeous photos I took on May 31st in New York City. Unless I copied them to my mom's computer. My only hope. I don't even recall having looked at those photos. Maybe at my parents' house? Maybe? My sadness is great, but so is my numbness and indifference in a way... what does it matter? Who even cares? I know my son will be upset... but he's partly to blame because he's ALWAYS, CONSTANTLY at the computer, preventing me from downloading the photos from the cards.

I still cannot believe that may have happened.

Conflicted feelings about this 15th anniversary

Five  years ago I wrote a nice post about 9/11, but I feel so conflicted now. It's a particularly bad moment in the history of this country. One that I hope to look back to in months and years ahead and be glad that it's over. Because if that man becomes president, wow... I don't know... it's just unimaginable, but so very possible.

(and the worst possible moment to be filling a citizenship application. I know, it's a ridiculous way to tell you about it as well, but whatever, now you know)

Things that make me upset: The reports about all the 9/11 responders are dying of cancer and suffering from other ailments. How plausible the arguments made by the Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth are (Am I going to be surveilled by the government from now on for writing this?). How the consequences of the Iraq war are still haunting the world to this day.

Too many things. I was going to share some photos of the Ground Zero memorial, but I can't find them in my external hard drive and now I'm stressed (thinking I may have lost some amazing photos of that day back in May. Sigh...).

Yeah, it's a crazy world and I have no words or energy to go into it right now.