I should be working on my garden, right now, and getting some sun on my shoulders to get lots of vitamin D... and I will, in a few minutes. I want to get some pesky thoughts out of my head first, though. I think it'll be therapeutic.
Having ADHD sucks, it really does. I love, love, love the hyperactive, creative, boundless energy (until it's gone) side of it. I like how my brain is all over the place and all the thoughts and unexpected connections I make. I feel very alive and full of interests, it's exciting! I hate the bad side of it, the fact that even on medication I can't start on things I hate to do, I can't do what I NEED to do.
I hate too many things about it and I don't want to focus on those here, although I already used the title of the post against myself -- my brain is an EXPERT, in finding excuses. As Heather would say (love, love, love her! I'm THRILLED she's back with a redesigned blog, it makes me happy and energized to blog more), my brain is the valedictorian of excuse-making.
So, yeah... I have recently remembered some excuses that are very valid, though. I'm having this horrible depressing professional crisis which is NOT the subject of this post, and I realized the other day that now the I'm taking medication (on and off), I have to make good on my promise to try to write academic papers (sigh...). (I'd love to do it, as a matter of fact).
Back to gardening, though... all through last year I didn't weed one particular flower bed (one that I build with my own arms and hands years ago and that cost me a ridiculous 200+ dollars -- I should TOTALLY have just bought a ready-made raised bed at a store. [links/photos coming later]) and there were various excuses, but I think that this action stunted and basically killed a bunch of beautiful tulips. I'm very sad and upset.
OK, so now that I wrote this quick post I will go and take some photos to capture the "before" state of another flower bed and work on it for a while.
Then later... I'll get a haircut and highlights, how's that for a nice Spring day? (I may get a mani-pedi too, we'll see). ;-)