Trying to Be At Peace

My "silly" premonition may be dead-on. I found out nearly 10 days ago (but I couldn't find the right way to blog it) that U#2 is going to do a national search for my current position and I'm "welcome to apply."

I totally freaked out when I found out and I sent a panicked email to two friends. Good thing my dear friends, who are so patient with me, reminded me that they do need to advertise for a new position in order to change it to a 3 year more permanent position. That happened with them, but I think the circumstances were quite different. (it was a last minute thing two years ago, positions opened up, were advertised mid-summer for a short while and they got the contracts. Last year they had a few more 3 year contracts for other lecturers of the same language). It didn't seem to be premeditated and long planned like this, I think. I will find out when the ad is posted. (which may be late in the year too!) ;-(

So... I have a really bad feeling about this. I think it's a very convenient occasion for them to get rid of me. And what happened this summer and in the beginning of the semester with my contract strongly suggests that my intuition is right. I know the students love me, but maybe asking for fair treatment is a ticket to be discarded. After all, as Chomsky stated, they want more control over us vulnerable workers.

And to make matters even more complicated and stressful I found out that there's no way I can have full-time work at U#1. In fact, I don't even know if I can to teach more classes there, though I'm hoping it will be possible.

Yeah, just what I needed to keep going with my crazy-busy schedule in the middle of the semester.

Sigh...

I know that whatever happens I will be OK. I trust that the Lord has a plan for my life and this situation, but I'm still apprehensive and sad. And stressed out about the money. But I know He can provide. Please keep me in your prayers in the next few months. I hope that this unbearable suspense won't last too many months! (but it may) :-(