Perspective

I still have two "half jobs."

I enjoy teaching and (most of ) my students are great.

I will only be missing 6K from last year's income. Maybe I could even teach another class at U#1 to help me get some of that?

It may hurt not to have "full-time status" anymore as a woman in her 43rd year and basically no perspective of a "real career," but it's not the end of the world.

It really really hurts to be aware of the unfairness of one's situation, but compared to millions of disenfranchised people in the world, life is very far from unfair to me.

Most everything else is lovely in my life, why be so bothered by this.

Pain and emotional distress make us more sensitive to other people's suffering and, hopefully, better people.

I hate to live this "roller-coaster" life, but it's the only life I have, so it's ok.

I can choose to be happy in spite of my frustrations and sense of being unfairly treated.

I'm sure there would be many more items in this list, but I'll stop here for now.

And now I'm just so sleepy my eyes are closing. I think I won't even have dinner before collapsing.

I'm done. Thanks for being a sympathetic (albeit silent!) listener to my plight.

Edited to add: I received a nice email from the chair just now. I don't think things will change because apparently it really IS the dean that's the problem, not him. And not the new hire as I suspected. I must not let my hyperfocus & mental hyperactivity related to negative situations and facts rule my brain, right?