job offer: i'ts getting REALLY complicated, I'm almost anguished!

So many emotions in one day and everything still very much up in the air. This is very unnerving. I wish I could just sit in peace after my surgery and didn't have to strain my eyes reading, writing, etc...

note: throughout this post "here" refers to my current institution, "there" to the one offering me a job.

After my doctor's visit, I visited the university and one of the professors came to meet with me since the chair is away and the dean had a prior commitment. He was extremely effective "selling" me the university and, most importantly, the department and the students (most excellent quality, according to him). K met him too and we talked for a while.

The secretary helped me figure out the schedule and I was quite discouraged when I found out that two of the classes do meet every single day of the week. This basically makes it impossible for me to try to conciliate the two jobs as I was hoping to do (unless they agreed to change their schedule, which is not very likely) -- which would be a huge sacrifice, but with a good monetary payoff in the end. And because they're all language classes I was thinking I could pull it off.

On the drive back to our current university we discussed various scenarios. Background story: this position that I've been offered appeared because their lecturer decided -- at the very end of the semester -- to go teach at Harvard which is closer to his graduate institution (he's ABD at the moment) and... that's the hardest part, they also had a failed search for a tenure track position in my area (K says it's good that I didn't even know about that position because I am/was not in a position to even apply for a TT job at this point).

Anyway... half-way through our drive I called my department and discovered that my department chair is away in Europe for the whole summer, so there's no use talking to her and seeing "what she can do" for me. We didn't talk much the rest of the way.

I decided I needed to email both chairs right away and went to K's office, where I found an email from the other university's former department chair, wife of the professor I talked to, encouraging me to accept and giving me her phone numbers in case I had any questions.

A few minutes later my phone rang and it was her. We talked for about 20 minutes, I asked questions, shared my concerns, explained that I didn't want to stop teaching here, discussed my teaching load, etc. It was a productive conversation in which she was able to tell me the textbooks they use there and some of the things the former lecturer did. Just for you to have an idea, in their elementary intensive class which meets 5 days a week they cover in one semester the same textbook we teach in here in FOUR semesters.

After we got off the phone, I got the cell phone number for my department's chair in Europe from my department secretary who effusively congratulated me on my job offer (I thought that was very strange -- shouldn't she be sad that they were losing me? I was taken aback! She did know I was applying for something because I'd previously asked for copies of my transcript & teaching evals).

I also learned via email that a friend and former colleague here is also going to be a lecturer there too and another friend/colleague I called (the one who urged me to apply) was very happy for me too.

We drove home and while still divided, I felt slightly more inclined to accept. We reasoned that if I sleep there two nights, I only have to drive 3 times a week there and back. And I can try to work a way with the students not to have classes on Friday.

When we got home and I was already writing this post, K and I decided to calculate pay versus contact hours. And... guess what?! Considering that I have more contact hours there, I'm paid nearly the same per contact hour even though the annual pay is a bit higher. Of course in number of students I make a measly 185 per student per semester here and about 720 per student there (if the enrollment for my classes stays where it is, pretty low now, in full capacity for the beginner classes, it drops to 400 - still more).

I don't know if we should be doing the math or what, but still. Another thing, we're wondering if they pay more for people with phd or not (here they do, 500 per class).

In any case, there are tons of issues to consider, but the bottom line is that it's still "work in the margins" and I begin to regret past choices and think that maybe I should have done things differently. oh well... but that's stuff for another boring post on my ongoing struggles with this complex beast: academia.

Sigh... sorry to bore you to tears with my wonderings, it's just that it would be nice to have more feedback. It's such a difficult decision to make!

Not to mention I feel bad for my students... and for me if I have to drive so much (I know, there's always audible and listening to books would be a good way to use the time)... sigh again.