Some Worries... Radioactivity & Loved Ones' Bones

"And then there's the issue of the bones that's worrying me..." said a cryptic line in my mom's email.

After talking for a few minutes on the phone with her this afternoon I asked, matter-of-factly... because I knew she might be dreading the question, "Hmmm, mom, and what about the bones you mentioned in your email?"

Well, it turns out that my aunt and uncle (mom's older "middle" sister, who had had my living grandma at her house before she died) hadn't been able to afford the cemetery yearly payments for several years and hadn't told anyone about it (why they did so is beyond us, but they're always struggling financially because my uncle is a lawyer who doesn't work in a big firm -- I don't know why they had to be responsible for these payments!). And now there's a judicial order that was given to my aunt saying that she either pays up (about 2,300 dollars + the yearly cemetery fees from now on, about 200 a year) or my grandparents' remains will be transferred to the city's bone repository or a city mass grave or something.

Oldest uncle, who's really rich, was a bit upset, but didn't seem to want to pay up either. "Guilty" aunt said she didn't have the money and that these were just bones -- her parents' bones, but simple bones. My mom seemed to be OK with the idea, but then thought about it overnight and felt really bad about it all. So... yeah, something will have to be done about it. I agree that it would be nice if the family could contribute the money to be able get their remains exhumed and transfered somewhere. One option is to transfer the remains to a church cemetery in my grandfather's birthplace (two states further South) -- my (paternal) aunt who lost her husband 34 years ago has already said that his grave there can be used for this purpose. And my mom has volunteered to drive South to bring the bones.

Interestingly enough, once in a while I think about the cemetery in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil where my four grandparents are buried. When my second grandfather died in 1986, after the burial we walked to my the grave of my first grandfather to die (back in 1979). I was not at my grandmothers' funerals (1997 and 2008), but they were both buried there as well. I had thought of maybe visiting the four graves in my next visit to Brazil... and now there's this. I know the problem will be solved somehow, but it is interesting to think about these issues, if a little sad. This situation has pushed my mom to think about her options and choices about what she wants to be done after she dies. I don't like to think about it, but I know it's necessary.

My parents will have plenty of time to discuss these issues because they're traveling tomorrow to Curitiba. They're not going there to visit family, though, in spite of the fact that most of my paternal and maternal relatives live there. They are going so my father can get a radiation cancer treatment on his nose. My parents  live in a rural area and they would have needed to drive 50 minutes (one way) to a major hospital and back daily for a couple of weeks for his treatment, so they're going to get it done in a big city, where they will only need to drive a few minutes to the hospital.

It's nothing serious -- my dad has had a couple of carcinomas removed from his nose and face before, but it seems that there were pre-cancerous cells in his nose that had reached the cartilage and couldn't be removed without significant disfigurement of the nose. Therefore, the oncologist suggested he gets localized radiation therapy treatment in his nose. I hope it really is not a big deal. I was asking my mom if they had gotten second or maybe even "third" opinions and she told me that they'd do that there.

I'll keep you posted, I really don't know much about radiation therapy. All I want is for my dad to be as healthy as he can be, without worries of cancerous cells lurking below the surface of his skin... and I'm determined to never again get suntanned. I just bought another rash guard shirt last week in a seasonal clearance.

So... yeah, these are some of the latest things crossing my mind. Life, health, and death...