And I feel lonely because of that.
I've been struggling with so much stuff regarding blogging lately. I have this feeling that maybe I'm overdoing it and that's it's not good for me and that I need to spend more time doing "real life" things instead of investing so much on a "virtual life." (this, BTW is what everyone in my family, not husband, perhaps, but certainly parents and K's family -- not all of them -- think).
It's just that I've always been that way. Before the internet, it was reading constantly, all the time, even while walking (I hardly ever do that nowadays, I know, sad) and writing in my journals. And reading and re-reading the journals and writing some more.
And in addition to that, from 7th-12th grade, I had one best friend and two other super-close friends who have now become the best friends. Although, well, it is a complicated thing to analyze. I'm too complicated for my own good. I don't even know how/why some of you are still reading me.
What I mean to say is that this blogging person here, that's not a "new me." I've been like this all along, it's just that now I found the right medium, a wonderful outlet (even if it doesn't bring me much more than a handful of friends, no money, no fame, nothing tangible -- except in the way of "wasted time" that could have been used doing other stuff).
OK, never mind. I have resolved not to care. And I'll post more, for myself, even if people won't listen/read. It's still good for me.
& now I'll put out a quick post about Narnia. I love Narnia.
Lilian dear, it is sometimes amusing just to be a silent wallflower and watch you converse with yourself. But, you do have readers, and we all care about you.
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling this same way, back when I kept a personal blog. I think I read somewhere that dedicated diarists always write for an audience, somewhere. and that it is never intended to be a purely solitary act. Maybe this is why I liked blogging so much, and also why it caused so many conflicted emotions in me...
ReplyDeleteBut I'm here, reading, as always...
You know, I found myself blogging a lot more after a move...it helped keep the continuity, I think.
ReplyDeleteI love Narnia, too. :)