... and I don't like this too much because I like blogging so much better!
Facebook is ok and stuff, but I don't feel comfortable sharing too much there just because I feel exposed to so many people, from family members to grad school colleagues, former dissertation director, personal friends and blogosphere friends. It's a mess, really! Isn't it weird that I would feel more comfortable writing in my non or semi-anonymous blog than there?
I actually feel bad that most of my blogging friends are there, but I don't even reveal the existence of this blog in my fb account. I guess it's the last thread, the last few hopes of ever getting a job in academia (BLAH -- I really did give up, but I'm still holding back). I have so much to say about that, and also about blogging in general... and I guess I'm just holding back writing here too.
I feel like this blog is a failure because I never tried hard enough to make myself known. I don't fit in well anywhere (and I've talked about that before) -- I'm not really an academic mama blogger anymore -- just a mother with a stupid, useless, hard-earned but meaningless-to-anyone-but-me PhD (and, no, I'm not crossing out the stupid and useless -- I thought I would, but I'm not).
OK, I'll go write another post right now to say what I really really think about academia. I think I'm on a roll here. I might blog all night long (nah... probably I wont). And just to finish the previous paragraph a bit... I could have tried harder to make myself known, commenting consistently at Laura (11D) or Bitch PhD's places... etc. Or, I don't know, whatever... but in the end I read the people that I enjoy reading, and that's about it. And I feel frustrated that I wish I could be a best known blogger but I'm not. whatever... and the expatriate part of my life doesn't interest anyone but me, I guess... that doesn't seem to be/have a particularly strong blogging community anyway.
So, yeah... going back to the subject of this post before I close, facebook is not helping much, but since everyone is hanging out over there (and now I'm friends with even more blogging peeps -- thanks!), I can't help it but do it. And plus, it's the best place to see gorgeous photos of my nephew!! Yay!
Gotta go rant about academia now before I run out of steam.
Know what you mean. I like seeing the pics of my nephew, and it's good to keep up with some people ... but it's also wierd. Just plain wierd.
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