Mind Boggling & The School Question

I had the job interview (at the Y) last Friday and it went well, but...
I'll talk about the "but" at the end, let me just first say that this interview created another mind-boggling "Oh! How/why could this be true/ happening!" type of situation for us.

You see, I had spent all these weeks agonizing over* being away from my boys and working long hours and... well, it turns out that the position that they have open (for before and after school care) is precisely at "our" elementary school -- the one the boys would be going to if they went to public school. And you may remember that one of the reasons we bought this house was because it was in one of the best school districts in the Philadelphia area, so it is a good school. Anyway... it didn't occur to me until when I was driving back home after the interview, but the reality is that if we remained in this house and we put the boys in that school, I'd be paid to stay with my boys again (from 3-6)!
* wow... did I write that just 10 days ago? It feels like so much longer

Of course the job is SUPER demanding. Almost 11 hours of work daily year round. During the school year I have a 3h break in middle of the day, but in the 10 weeks of summer camp it's from 7am -6pm non stop (and I won't be with the boys much in the summer because I'll be helping out at various camps). Phew! All that for around 25K, with benefits. And, of course, in order to send the kids to the same school I'd be working at we'd have to keep the house, which might not be bad ;-).

And why is this so mind boggling? Because I may not be offered the job after all, even though the interview went really well, I liked the people I'd be working with and, in spite of the demands, I think it would be an interesting job.

The thing is, I do not work from sunset on Friday until sunset on Saturday and the job requires me to stay at the school until 6 pm (or a after if a parent is late) every day, and in the winter, when sun sets between 4:15 and 4:45 for several months, that wouldn't be possible for me on Fridays.

Isn't that just a terrible, horrible tease to have this job dangling in your face, a job -- regardless of how hard and demanding -- that would allow you to keep your house for a while longer and still meet your childcare needs? It's almost cruel. So... Friday evening, when I came back home from the interview to see the beautiful final results of the painting of our formerly darkly wood paneled family room I just couldn't help but just cry and cry.

Of all schools in the two school districts that this particular Y works with, why did the job I applied for (the one and only application I sent out) have to be at "our" elementary school? Why? Just so that I'd have this glimmer of hope shine in my face and then just fade away?

I'm trying very hard to concentrate on the negative aspects of the job (practically no vacation, no time off, no traveling to Brazil, grueling hours, etc, etc), but it's very, very hard. As we clean the house, as we finish doing all the little things that we'd been planning to do since we started the renovations, as it continues to look nicer and nicer, I just feel like screaming: "I don't want to have to sell our house!!"

And, you know, this is nothing compared to the questions that anguish K every single day. "Why oh why," he asks, over and over, "Did I have to get this job, this unbelievable six figure job just to lose it two months later?" Of course we're happy with the residency that came as a consequence of that job (and losing it and then recovering it temporarily), but still... it's more than mind-boggling, it just feels plainly unfair at times (OK, all the time). Of course life is never fair, but things like those are just so hard to live through! I know we'll survive and, as the cliche goes, "we'll come out of this stronger" HAHAHAHA (duh, yeah, how else could you be after having to steel yourself for going through so much!).

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Changing the subject just slightly, several of you had been asking me about the boys going to school (and I being able to work, etc.), so I'd been planning to blog about "the school question" for a while now. (Linton really is turning 5 in May and going to kindergarten in the Fall.)

So, this is Kelvin's second year at this tiny Christian school where I happen to be currently working part time. Both K and I went to private denominational schools in Brazil until we graduated from high school, so we were planning to go the same route with our sons. My work at the school made me realize, however, that home schooling might be an even better thing to do with the boys, particularly with Kelvin, because it would allow him to work at his full capacity and advance faster than if he were at a regular school. He is really good (an understatement) in math and very interested in science and other subjects and he's well ahead in reading too, so I feel that if I had the patience to work with him he'd just soar ahead and excel academically.

We obviously cannot afford homeschooling now because I need to try to work and help us make ends meet and in terms of academics we're not really happy (also an understatement) with the school he's in right now so... sending him to the local elementary school is actually something that we had even considered before and which would probably be good for him academically. So, you see how this also makes the whole thing even more mind boggling? Nice, huh?

Of course we need to know whether there will be a job offer or not in order to be able to make a decision in the case there is an offer on the house or not, so I'll wait until Friday and then I'll contact my interviewers by email. So, there won't be a suspense forever -- I'll keep you posted.

So, what do you think of this new development? Our life is quite the roller-coaster, isn't it?