When the Tables Turn

You know, this economic crisis doesn't inspire any fear whatsoever in me. First, of course, there's the confidence (and also the faith) that we will be all right, that we will have jobs that will enable us to live and pay the mortgage. And second, there's the fact that we made the right decision as regards to real estate. This house here is not running much risk of depreciation given the huge level lot, its superb location in a desirable neighborhood and stellar school district.

These things are not as relevant in maintaining our peace of mind, I think, as is the fact that K and I were both raised in extreme frugality. It wasn't really poverty, no, and outwardly, as PK's, we almost looked sharp (although I grew up wearing second hand clothes -- I don't mind them to this day, either for me or my sons). But the frugality, the not having any money to spare, not ever eating out, always taking our own food for trips*, "borrowing" our aunts' and uncles' beach houses for vacations, always buying clothes in the cheapest wholesale places in the city of São Paulo** and never ever buying anything at malls, etc. these were the defining things in our childhoods. Frugality and thriftiness just won't ever leave us, I think, and that -- in spite of my half hearted attempts to rebel against it -- is a very good thing.

In a culture of extreme consumerism as the U.S. frugality is frowned upon. "Living within one's means" -- a phrase that has now become ubiquitous was something to be laughed at. New cars used to be a necessity, as were eating out and buying tons of toys and paraphernalia for one's children (please don't get me started on toys, I've had a post literally "boiling" in my mind for years now) . Ha, if I tell you about cars... it'll be an interesting story. I still remember my dad's first car, a yellow VW beetle that he got in 1973 or 4. Most of our family cars (one at a time) were VWs (I guess it's the Germaness in my dad that had him prefer the German maker), all of them used. From 1979 to 1986 we had this bright blue VW Passat that had belonged to my grandfather before my dad bought it from him. The only way my dad was able to get us a "new" used car was taking his vacation and coming to "visit" his brother here in the U.S. (my uncle lives in D.C.) and working with him for a month. Then, we finally had a slightly more modern car.

Well, anyway, what I mean is that now that we're deep in a recession, the tables have turned. Values that my parents painstakingly instilled in me (and which were the norm here in this country less than 50 years ago -- I get that from old people all the time, I, in my "youth" fully identify with them in this respect, all because I was raised in another country) are now being brought back to the forefront. Now, perhaps this is mean spirited of me, but when I listen to people talking about their negative experiences in this time of crisis, such as the woman who was interviewed on NPR saying in tears that Christmas used to be a "huge deal" for her family and this year it's not going to be, I don't pity them. I just think -- this is normal for me, not doing any excesses because I cannot afford certain things.

And the funny thing to an slightly "anti-consumerist" person like me (I'm not even close to what Jo(e) is -- I still buy plenty of things I probably shouldn't be buying) is all this talk that the economy will hurt even more if we don't buy. Sigh. That's why I don't like capitalism. We always need to be buying things we don't need so big shots can make big profits. Sure, I know... the people who make these things need to have a job too. Well, let's put it that way, I don't really like to think about large economic issues. I just can't stand the idea of so few people being so rich and having so much and the majority of people on earth living in such abject poverty. And it frustrates me that I feel so powerless -- I haven't yet been able to find a charity or organization in which our whole family could be involved in helping those in need.

There's so much red tape in some philantropic agencies and charities in this country that I have a feeling that those who really need help don't even contact them. I know that these things need to be regulated so the procedures and the help are done in a fair manner, but still... I understand now why so many people get involved in humanitarian aid in other countries or go on "mission trips." It is easier to feel useful and to really learn from the suffering of other people abroad than at home. But I know that there are countless destitute people all around us, they are just invisible.

OK, I'm going off in a tangent and I should wrap this up. I guess what I wanted to say in this post is that the current situation is providing me much food for thought and a new perspective on the usefulness of thriftiness and frugality. The same things that made feel slightly bad in the past now make me feel pretty good because, hopefully, not buying everything in sight it is going back to vogue -- and I don't really care if it's not good for the economy (sigh). Should I, really?

* We have an interesting expression for this in Brazilian Portuguese -- farofeiro from the food farofa (in old times, chicken and manioc flour, prepared for eating during long trips). I really didn't like belonging to a farofeira family. In Brazil people don't often make picnics or bring their own lunches to eat outdoors at public places like here, so we were always the odd ones out -- e.g. when spending the day at a beach during one of our trips, we ate our lunch sitting on a low wall, next to a city park or square, or next to a parking lot, I don't remember exactly. On car trips we'd always eat boiled eggs, fruit yogurt, fruit, etc...

** Rua Zé Paulino (Zé Paulino Street), Brás, or 25 de Março (March 25 St.) -- places in which many textile factories are based and where one can buy clothes and fabric directly from the manufacturer.