Why, oh why did I have to go and cry about the flowers, of all things? So now I feel that a I am the butt of my own joke.
[insert sarcastic laugh here]
Two weeks ago when I was grieving about loosing this place I could not imagine what was and is yet to come... How terrible it would feel to watch the house being transformed under my very eyes in the ways we'd dreamed about when we purchased it, and to think that I may not get to enjoy all the wonderful new changes, that I'll just be forced hand them over to the buyer just because we cannot afford to live here. Yeah, I know, our own fault, buying this expensive house, BUT, on the other hand, had we not bought a house with great "flipping potential" we would be in much more trouble. We suspect that our other option, a 50K+ cheaper townhome, all redone (like we're doing this one) would be extremely hard to sell right now.
So, I know... positive attitude, blah, blah, blah, but when you see the new ceramic floors (no pictures just yet), these hardwood floors just uncovered in the living and dining rooms, stairs, and upstairs hallway:...the potential beauty of sanding and re-staining the kitchen cabinets, in addition to the 1200+ dollars just spent in brand new appliances for the kitchen (we're ordering them online -- much cheaper than buying in stores and much faster delivery)... it's all very painful. But I'm steeling myself, trying to feel a bit angry again so I'll have energy to go on, facing the endless cleaning, vacuuming, moving furniture and things around.
And these, BTW, are the flowers I was crying about (when I wrote that post, I didn't have a picture yet and used one from May): Pretty, right? But now, I look at them and can only feel the irony of the situation, so I go back inside to clean some more.
P.S.1 Please bear with me as I use this blog as a tool to cope and express my feelings as we undergo this period of transition that never ends. I know that it'll be all right in the end, but this thought doesn't make it any less painful, on the contrary.
P.S.2 In response to Prisca's lovely comment to the last post, I just wanted to clarify that we are obviously paying most of our friends (one of them, the most skilled and specialized refuses to be paid) and also helping one of them who didn't have any work this week. We cannot really afford any of this, BTW, but we need to do it, and of course helping our friends while paying less than we would for professional installation elsewhere makes much more sense (quite a bit of the money you pay for installation at these home improvement stores does NOT get to the installer. Two of our friends work as subcontractors under another subcontractor who is hired by yet another subcontractor representing the big chain store -- isn't that outrageous?).
--> If you live in the area and need professional, knowledgeable and affordable tile floor/ bathroom tile, etc, installation, do email me because I heartily recommend my friends!! And I'm obviously thankful for them as Prisca remarked. They are just coming over later today to finish the kitchen!
That floor is GORGEOUS! I am certain it will help you sell the house, but I can understand your sadness at leaving it and all of that lovely landscaping. Y'all do very, very nice work! I wish I was closer and could afford to hire your friends. :)
ReplyDeleteThose floors were a WONDERFUL blessing, Prisca!! They had been covered in carpeting for many many years, which kept them beautiful for us now.
ReplyDeleteI agree--those floors are amazing. And it's wonderful you have friends who can help you out AND do good work.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Grieve. It's important.
I totally understand your first point, Lilian. I also know the changes in our lives are happening for good reasons, but that doesn't mean that the changes are any less hard. It is nice to have that recognized, as you did on my blog. It sucks, but we will survive it and life will likely be better because of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd this too shall pass, my friend. The permanent things in life have little to do with the things in life. Remember that the choices are and have been yours. Yes, there are consequences (some of them sad or unpleasant), but they are simply the passing residue of living your choices in life. Regrets have power only to teach us. All things will be good.
ReplyDelete