(No More) Blogging Blues

(written last week on Friday, April 13 and amended today)

Every once in a while I write a post like this. I think it's an inevitable part of blogging, unfortunately. I actually wanted to check all my " meta-blogging" posts (translation: blog posts about blogging) to find out how often I've done it, but I decided not to, even because last time I felt like writing a post like this one, I didn't do it, I only added a paragraph to a "regular" post.

The main causes of the current blues:

1) Readership never improves, on the contrary, it seems to decline over time, as some former commenters just don't manifest themselves anymore. My stats have always been dismal... that's why I waited for them to go over 10 thousand to display them as a number (and that took a long time, since I get only 30 hits a day -- including the search engines ones).

Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful for the readers and commenters that I do have, but sad with my inability to get noticed in blogosphere... I know I probably should be reading more blogs, finding new people, but I just can't do this right now -- I already read too many blogs, which takes a lot of time from other more serious pursuits such as dissertation writing.

2) Sometimes I get tired of reading so many blogs that don't read mine, but that's part of blogging too... I just enjoy reading some people and learn so much from others.

3) I'm frustrated with my own writing and instead of having the blog as an outlet to share my thoughts in an informal way, I feel pressured (by my own perfectionism, I should add) to post only things that are fairly good and polished. So there's a huge backlog of posts that I really want or wanted to post, but haven't yet, or never will because it takes a lot of time and energy to get them written down and "published" in the first place and it doesn't seem to be worth the effort since I just don't have that many readers... See, it's a vicious cycle!

4) It's very sad when I see one of my blogging friends quit blogging and kind of unsettling when they take a break. It's also a normal part of life in the blogosphere, but it makes me feel lonely when I learn that someone I met through blogging and consider a true friend will no longer be blogging. I feel sad even when blogs whose writers don't know me quit blogging too (like Sekie did last year, for example, she who wrote scholarly posts on home-birthing, breastfeeding, etc.)...

5) ....

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Now I don't even remember what 5 was! I was almost done writing this post but then I couldn't finish it and I didn't post it. Then, on Saturday night I found out that my friend Corey Heller, who blogs at An American Between Worlds and is the founder of the great site Bilingual/Bicultural Family Network and the online magazine Multilingual Living (I'm honored to have been invited to write columns for both the site and the magazine, more on that some other time), chose to name my blog for the "Thinking Blogger Award" and I this made me so happy that I felt glad I hadn't posted this.

And today I found out that another graduate student mama blogger, Working Writing Wailing Mama also chose me for this meme! Wow! I was just blown away and felt incredibly encouraged by her words about my blog.

I'll do the memes in two separate posts later (I really have to go to bed now, tomorrow's going to be a loooong day! - oh, in case you're wondering, we're planning to make an offer, I'll keep you posted), but I just wanted to come here and post my previous qualms with blogging together with the statement that with all this encouragement, I feel no more blogging blues right now. Talk about good timing!!