The job search is over for me. I received the "official" rejection letter yesterday.
I'm not disappointed because I knew I had "blown it" at the interview. I wasn't prepared enough to present myself well and, to be honest, I don't think I'm really prepared to face a tenure track position right now. I have doubts whether I will ever be prepared. Maybe after adjuncting or teaching for a while and padding my CV with more publication and service. I do have a strong teaching record, but I never worried too much about the teaching evaluations, so those aren't that great. Actually, I just couldn't bring myself to read them while I was teaching, they made me feel awful. (That shows you how much I don't like feedback). Of course there are many good ones, but several not too good.
Now that there is the concrete possibility that my husband will get a job, we're thinking even about alternate careers for me. I know I should still give academia a shot, but that may have to wait until next year. I say that, but I haven't even checked the "post-MLA" job postings, and I know I should. Maybe I'll do it right now. Well, if hubby gets the job then I will have to find something to do there, because I'm definitely finishing this year, but that's another topic!
I don't have anything of substance to offer. Just thinking of you as you make these decisions and transitions.
ReplyDeleteOh Lilian, I'm sorry that job didn't work out. SOmetimes opportunities just create themselves in wonderful ways, though. When we first moved here for my husband's job I applied for a couple positions and didn't get them. I was crushed. But I tried to concentrate on staying home with Liam and getting settled in our new city. Then, when I least expected it, I got a call late August about adjuncting (I'd even forgotten that I had applied there) and ended up with four classes. The adjunct job turned into a full-time job, too!
ReplyDeleteSo, sometimes unexpected things do happen and you never know what opportunities may present themselves.
Hang in there!
Sorry to hear about the rejection letter. Rejections always suck, even when you expect or are prepared for them. But try not to let it get you down too much. I'm in that same boat of trying to finish this year, and I'm telling myself that the job market this year is just to practice and learn. (Mostly I've learned what a pain in the arse it is!)
ReplyDeleteGood luck to the hubby!
Lillian,
ReplyDeleteWhat's most important is not that you follow some preordained path, or one which you think others expect of you, but rather to trod upon a path of your own choosing, whatever that may be. I hear your voice half-heartedly defending a choice you haven't quite made. I know I should still give academia a shot, but that may have to wait until next year. It's yours to decide. Your friends will support you in that choice.
Oooh. Articulatedad is indeed quite articulate. I just wanted to add my own condolencense to the list here. No matter what happens, I'm sure that ultimately it will all be fine.
ReplyDeleteOh, it always sucks to get a rejection letter, even if you expect it. But it sounds like you have the right attitude about all of this, and I suspect you will eventually end up where you want to be.
ReplyDeleteLilian,
ReplyDeleteSorry you didn't get it. Good things will happen for you, I know it.
Rejection letters suck! If only because they make us start to doubt ourselves. We send in the application, we go for the interview, then we start to imagine the "what ifs" (of course, not based on any reality per se). Then we see that thin, paltry, anemic, emaciated rejection letter envelope appear in the mail and we feel like we have lost something so sublime. But what have we lost other than our perfect construct of what it "would have been, could have been."
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, rejection letters suck so I send you a big hug and am sending you some cyber chocolate... or how about a Maoam? I have a few to spare for friends in need.
((hugs)) Lilian. I wish I could offer more than a cyber hug for now. I can imagine what you must feel like now. Tell yourself that it just wasn't the job for you and that the right one will come up soon, definitely ...
ReplyDeleteSorry for being MIA lately, I haven't had much time to read blogs, battling with computer problems & illnesses over here (see my latest post)
(((hugs!!)))
I'm a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason (even though we don't understand the reason until much later). I'm also a big believer in loving what you do for a living. So, if academia isn't something you're "loving" anymore, then you should definitely listen to what your instincts are whispering in your ear.
ReplyDeleteI'm just jumping in here to second all the above comments, especially ArticulateDad and academama. One thing that happens on the dissertation treadmill is you both start to think you can't do anything else, and that you're not sure you want to do it (or at least those are both pretty familiar responses to me!). I think it takes a little distance to figure it out, and you're well on your way already.
ReplyDeleteThis has got to be scary for you. It always is when things are uncertain in your life path. I will continue to pray for the best for you and your family. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteOh, Lilian, I"m sorry that job didn't work out, but good luck as you finish up your dissertation and face the next set of decisions.
ReplyDeleteHey, you got an interview, lots of people haven't even gotten that far. I think that speaks well for your qualifications. It still sucks that you didn't get the job, but I wouldn't give up on academia if that's really what you want to do.
ReplyDelete