After I wrote the previous post, I started thinking that I had not even touched upon the main reason(s) not to have another baby.
The main reason, with a twofold motivation, is work. I do want to put my Ph.D. (which I should get next summer) to good use by working again. If I have another baby, work will have to be postponed a few more years or at least interrupted for a while, since I'll want to care for the baby most of the time, and breastfeed for several years as I have been doing with his/her brothers. Of course it won't be easy for me to start to work with a 3 year old, but at least he'll be old enough for pre-school.
Apart from personal fulfillment, one big reason for me to work is an economic one. If my husband gets an academic job, I will probably need to work to supplement his income. The only situation in which we would consider having a third child would be if he got a high paying industry job, which we know is very hard to get. It's next to impossible to be hired by an industry without inside contacts and recommendations and no previous industry experience. So... I really don't want to do anything to jeopardize my family's comfort and the future child's well being. In a year's time we hope to be able to make a decision about this.
I have no sage words, just empathy. It's such a difficult decision.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were just talking about this last night. Since we're both college teachers, we don't make much $$--so far, we've managed to both work and both equally take care of the kids, without help from daycare at all (well, Tessa goes to Mother's Morning Out two mornings/week until 12:30 but I don't really consider that daycare per se). If we had a 3rd we just wouldn't be able to keep this kind of life up. Although I do get pangs about not having another child, I also realize our limitations...sigh. It sounds like you have a good plan of action in place--hugs and good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteWhat a difficult decision! I also don't have any wise words of advice, here. Hopefully things start to clear up soon! Also,who knows what will happen, maybe that fancy-paying industrial job comes about after all .. ? ;)
ReplyDeleteI think your decision to hold off for now is a good one, as it is in the best interest of your family. But I do understand how strong the desure to have another chid is. Hopefullly, that third child will come to you one day.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. I really want another child but right now just isn't the time. I'll just wait and hope for the best for both of us.
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