Thursday, October 20, 2005

Getting Feedback or... Dissertatin' - Update #2

Updated title (10/24) same content.
(preamble)
First, I'm all better from the cough, but still worried about getting a sore throat again... I hope not!

Second, many people in my blogroll posted not once, but twice today, and I'm kind of upset that I have been working on three or four posts without getting any of them out there, so here it goes... (this one I started on Saturday night, 10/15)
(end of preamble)

Is it just me or is it just as hard for anyone else to get feedback, particularly on their writing?

[I know I’m entering dangerous territory here, not having an anonymous blog, but if I don’t blog about my dissertation writing, what else is there to blog about? That’s all my life revolves around, these days…]

Anyway, I got the annotated draft of my first chapter back from the advisor last Saturday. It was a very rough draft, but the advisor had agreed to read drafts, and since I wanted to push myself, I decided to establish a timeline and send whatever I had achieved by the due date. My previous experience with the advisor’s feedback was not very good (lots of corrections concerning the mechanics of my writing, and not many comments/ suggestions about content and structure). Foreseeing the same kind of problem this time, I sent the advisor a long email the day before the draft was due, with this very polite talk about the kind of feedback I needed, blah blah blah. The response was, sure, I’ll give you feedback on content and structure, if that’s what you need.

Guess what? Déjà vu, all over again (from the first feedback I got when I submitted my prospectus two years ago): a lot of correction on mechanics, and almost no comments about structure and content. I had specifically asked for responses to my comments and questions between brackets - there were none. And not only that (which already infuriated me), out of 32 pages, only the first 8 pages and 4 pages at the end were annotated, then, 10 pages in the middle were completely blank, and a few other pages had a few annotations. I just feel like - if this advisor is not going to even read my work, why should I even send it? (OK, I know I need to get feedback, but with this kind of feedback, I feel I'm working alone).

Some background information on myself. I usually am a very sensitive person, the type of person who can’t be scolded without getting to the point of tears. Therefore, I’ve always tried to do everything right, so I don’t need to be corrected. That’s NOT how writing works, though, and I know that, the rational part of my brain keeps telling myself that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m aware that good writing needs tons of revision, and constant rewriting, but that’s not how the other part of me feels when I get feedback (or at least certain kinds of feedback). It’s not that I think what I write is good; it’s just that it takes such effort to write that I feel sensitive about the writing.

Bottom line... this week I'm having a TERRIBLE time working. I just don't feel like writing, I just want to throw everything up in the air, give up. I've managed to pull myself together enough to go over the annotations very carefully, do the necessary changes, and then, I started working on the chapter again. But it's been going really slowly. I'm hoping it will get better, because if it doesn't, it's going to be a NIGHTMARE to finish this dissertation. Well, at least I know I will keep working until early December when I travel to Brazil. I will definitely keep my timetable and deadlines, no matter how bad the feedback. I don't think it can get worse than this, so it might as well get better, or I may just learn to cope and deal with this.

I'm sure there was more to say, but at least I posted, got it out of my system, and I feel relieved. Do you have any feedback to give me? :D
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4 comments:

  1. jo(e)October 20, 2005 11:05 PM

    It sounds like your advisor does not know how to respond to writing.

    On a rough draft, I would just look at ideas, organization -- global kinds of issues. That is the kind of feedback the writer needs. Editing stuff -- like on the mechanics of writing -- that does not need to be addressed until the last draft. Otherwise the writer will get caught up in perfecting her writing before she has finished working through the ideas.

    Pretty much any writing teacher knows this.

    What is especially frustrating is that you asked the advisor for the right kind of feedback ... and then didn't get it.

    What are your options? Are there other committee members you could get feedback from? An outside reader?

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  2. AliceOctober 21, 2005 2:59 AM

    Since we come from the same academic discipline and I "think" I haven't quite forgotten what it's all about ... send me a copy of your diss and I'll be happy to send you some feedback! ;)

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  3. AnonymousOctober 21, 2005 10:03 AM

    I don't know much about the writing/editing process, but I was going to say the same thing as jo(e). I would think that in an early draft you'd be working on larger, more thematic, structural issues and less on details. Getting bogged down in how things are expressed too early on would only lead to perfectionism/frustration. It sounds like this advisor doesn't really know what they're doing.

    My advice? Get a new editor. You do not need that kind of criticism. There is only so much criticism a person can take, so you have to make sure you get the right kind!

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  4. LOctober 21, 2005 11:54 AM

    Thank you so much jo(e), sophie, and Kateri for the wonderful, positive, helpful feedback!! :)

    I didn't want to put this on the post, and maybe shouldn't even here in the comments, but, I was so mad when right on the first page, the adv. wrote: "please pay attention to writing mechanics, it makes it easier for one to see the forest instead of the trees"
    the problems in question were some missing commas, commas instead of semicolon in a bibligraphic reference, things like that...

    Mine and another colleague's dissertation (we're both at the same stage) are the first ones this prof. advises as chair, as far as I know...

    Now, the worst part. I changed the whole topic of the dissertation (I was going to write about children's lit, which I'm passionate about) so I could change advisors. My former advisor didn't have much time to help me, the new one is very available, but not a good editor - and I didn't realize that until I was working on my prospectus defense. A little bit to late.

    Jo(e), as for asking other people in my committee, yes, I think I'll have to do that. I cannot get the prof. who gave me the best feedback ever (and in whose class I wrote the paper which eventually became the dissertation) to join the committee because this prof. and another key-member don't get along - isn't that totally depressing?

    In fact, this week I tried to get an outside member to serve on my committee, who would be the only person from Brazil (there are none), but this person declined because of a busy schedule. I literally cried :( If this person had agreed to serve, I would have changed the committee to include that helpful professor I mentioned above.

    Sad sad sad situation.

    ReplyDelete