Mama(e) in Translation

The "Hair" Post, or how I've been agonizing about hair since 1977 ;)

2012-01-26T23:32:00.002-05:00

Here's the plan, folks. I'll write the post, then I'll take my time and make a photo album & link to it. And then, maybe I'll insert photos in the post later. I'll do this because I've been writing this post in my head for at least four or five years, it's hard time I get it out, isn't it?!

I think it must have been 1977, the year I turned six. I don't know for sure. All I know is that my mom must have overreacted and been so upset about it that now I remember details from that day. Walking down the street and entering a door that led to the hair salon and leaving the place afterwards.

Problem was, the hairdresser cut my hair way too short, not exactly what you call a "pixie" cut here, but short and ugly. And I think that my (yes, that's unfortunately true) "unfulfillable" lifelong wish to have beautiful, long hair must have started that day. Alas, it was not to be!

I don't think I cared much about the short haircut, but I most certainly remember it. My mom kept my hair at "bob" length for most of my life. And she always carefully combed it and tried to straighten it, so it didn't look that great, but it was OK. What I never understood was why my mom never let my hair grow long (and I don't have the answer to this question, I never asked her, but I can speculate why).

At 13 I rebelled against my nicely combed curls. For the first time in my life I tried what was called (in Brazil, in English!) "rinse" cream (creme rinse). I distinctly remember the first times I put it in my hair and rinsed it off. I hated the sensation in the skin down my back, I got all slippery and sticky and even after the shower, it still felt strange. But... it made the hair so soft!!

And I quickly found out a secret! If I washed my hair, got out of the shower, shook my head like a wet puppy, and let my hair air dry like that, I would have a head covered in curls! That was new and pretty much it consisted the bulk of my "teenage rebelliousness."

From that day forward (I think it was 1984, time for the "New Wave" fashions, bright colors such as neon and lime green, hot pink, strong lavender... sigh... it was fun), my mom never touched my hair again.

A few years later I was able to proudly wear my hair in a short bob, parted on the side, kind of puffy, shorter in the back, just like a famous actress, I felt so cool!

That must have been my "high point" as far as hair is concerned. After that, I could never find a good hairdresser and I had a series of bad haircuts. The one I hated the most was the "mullet," which is how my hair looked when met K. I started growing it out soon after we met, though, and let it grow long for our wedding. Sigh.

My hair cannot be grown long, though. You may think that such a thing doesn't exist, but that's becaue you don't know my hair. It's curly, so it looks like a lot, but I don't have that much hair and... the worst part of it, it's extremely, horribly fine, super thin. So... I can let it grow all I want, but it will thin out at the bottom and just look bad. (I rarely did it throughout my life, only now in the past 3-4 years -- but blow-drying the hair straight just make it look even thinner and lifeless).

After I moved to the U.S. I never cut my hair. Lack of money, fear of having a bad haircut. I went for years without haircuts, literally. I know. Horrible. The worst was during my pregnancy with Linton, I think it was the longest it ever got in my life. And it didn't look good, no, it did not.

I found some wonderful hairdressers in Brazil, though, and they cut my hair short and I realized it that I could even blow dry it (only during late Fall, Winter and early Spring) because the heated and dry environments here in the U.S. would keep it nice.

One of my favorite jokes (with just a hint of truth in it) is to say that I cannot go back to Brazil because that would mean living constantly with "bad hair days" (and, summers are one looong, never ending "bad hair season" for me, I have the photos to prove it, many of them).

In conclusion, I'm writing this post to document this angst with hair that has followed me all my life. There's obviously more to this topic (not to mention tons of photos documenting every single thing I say -- remember the day of my 40th birthday, for example?), but I'll stop here for now.

The reason I wrote this post? I am always 100% decided that I will have the most radical haircut of all my life, in which the back will be really short and the front longer, which is the total opposite of how I've had my hair for the past 7 years when I began to have a "bob" most of the time.

You have no idea how "brave" I need to be to do this. This post cannot convey all that I've felt about hair and having haircuts over the years, but... you know what? I think it's time to "rebel" again, enjoy my forties, enjoy my dark hair before more white ones starts to crop up and when getting highlights won't be just an option, but a need if I want to disguise them. ;) I have this crazy "dream" though, that like my dad, and his mother before him, I will have very few white hairs. Except that I've got my mother's genes & everyone in her family gets to have gorgeous silver hair... Well, the future will tell what will happen to mine!

blogger's block

2012-01-26T23:00:00.000-05:00

So much that I want to write and yet... I'm so tired, I don't feel like doing anything, much less writing in the blog.

We've been really busy, as usual. I'm in a cooking groove. So much so that I'm hosting two meals this weekend at our house... I'll make a few soups for our friends tomorrow night and on Saturday a group of our friends is having a "Sushi & Friends" (friends=foods that go with sushi) potluck lunch!

I will try to post some photos later. If I find the energy.

You have no idea whatsoever how many meals/recipes/foods I photograph because I want to post them to the blog and then in the end I just don't. I see other people's gorgeous photographs of foods, I get frustrated (and tired, and blocked) and I reason that none of my readers cares about what I've been cooking anyway (and that it would be in that horrible category of "what I just had for lunch" tweet, or facebook update)... so... yeah, I just don't.

All right, after this couple of paragraphs I'm officially "unblocked," but I need to go to bed. K & I don't teach on Fridays, so I've volunteered to let him sleep in & I want to take the boys to school tomorrow.

P.S. that means that I've got to start working and planning and stuff. I'm trying to stay on top of things, though. Tonight I wrote a page and a half of my paper presentation for the conference coming up in March.

Oh no! Not again!

2012-01-24T21:02:00.003-05:00

Do you remember this? In a subsequent post, I gave more details and the latest update is that he is going to undergo radiation therapy starting in a few weeks. He had a bit of a hard time (pain due to the nerve that was removed) during K's family reunion during the holidays, but he was fine and we are all optimistic about his prognosis.

Well... what I don't think I shared here was that someone else in the family had undergone a biopsy back in November, but hadn't picked up the results until this week because of the Florida trip and another trip in Brazil that ended last week.

It turns out that my MIL has been diagnosed with a malignant growth in her body as well, just as we feared. Even more than my BIL's, hers is eminently treatable -- literally everyone we talk to say that if a person had to choose a type of cancer, this should be it, because it's contained and can be removed without too much trouble. (What a thing to say, isn't it? But several people have expressed that to me, today alone).

My own mother had her thyroid removed (due to abnormal growth, nothing malignant) several years ago and she explained to me that the biggest problem is figuring out the correct doses for the hormone replacement, so we're hoping everything will be well in the end. We just don't know she's going to deal with the trip to South Africa (by postponing treatment again? I hope not). Well, it's her life, not mine and I don't feel 100% comfortable blogging about this (she's such a private person, after all), but I had to share.

Sigh.

"Blogs vs. Term Papers" -- I tried to do it and was told I shouldn't

2012-01-24T09:09:00.000-05:00

Matt Richtell wrote about this a few days ago in the NYT and I just wanted to let you know that that's precisely one of the things I had planned for my brand-new class last semester: weekly blog posts by students and a portfolio collecting the semester's class activities (which included questionnaires about the readings, group discussion activities, etc), in addition to a final research project.

When the (tiny, 3 people) general education committee reviewed my syllabus (which I designed after a week-long workshop back in June), they responded that there were not enough "formal writing assignments." In spite of the fact that we were on the third week of the semester (and a bit overwhelmed by 3 blog entries I hadn't yet "graded") and also eager to please the committee and comply, I substituted the remaining 9 blog posts by 4 short academic papers... BLAH...(one thing is true, it's hard to "grade" blog posts, they should basically all receive the full grade, unless it's too short or not engaging enough. Grading papers is more objective).

This semester I adopted a hybrid approach: 6 blog posts throughout the semester and 2 academic papers. Someday I hope to be able to switch to a more interactive approach to writing assignments, particularly because I believe that when the students can share their feelings and reactions about the readings and, most importantly, relate the subjects to their own lives, they learn a lot more!

In Richtell's article he reports that English Professor Andrea A.Lunsford from Stanford "has collected 16,000 writing samples from 189 Stanford students from 2001 to 2007, and is studying how their writing abilities and passions evolved as blogs and other multimedia tools crept into their lives and classrooms."

Her conclusion is that students feel much more impassioned by the new literacy. They love writing for an audience, engaging with it. They feel as if they’re actually producing something personally rewarding and valuable, whereas when they write a term paper, they feel as if they do so only to produce a grade.

Lunsford conclusion is very interesting and my students seemed to feel the same way. The end of course survey that my students answered last semester demonstrated that students thought that blogging helped them learn better than academic papers.

I wrote the first three paragraphs of this post before finishing the NYT article, so I had to smile when I reached this statement: "As Professor Lunsford illustrates, choosing to educate using either blogs or term papers is something of a false opposition. Teachers can use both." Yeah... I guess I figured that out on my own, didn't I? :)

Awarded!!

2012-01-23T21:12:00.001-05:00

Remeber the suspenseful waiting from last December?

Well...
I've got great news: I got the grant!! Isn't that awesome?

The best part is that this grant* and the subsequent study abroad program (if successfully implemented) mean that the university is investing in me and that maybe someday I can have more certain employment there.

I know... I shouldn't be relying on that (and I am not), especially because the sad truth is that if the academic job market is bad it's certainly much worse for foreign language instruction. However... now that I began to infiltrate into general education (my specialty in graduate school), there may be more hope for me.

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying my class, let's see if I'll be able to memorize the name of 40 students! (sigh)

*which was supposed to be awarded only to full-time faculty -- who are normally those who teach abroad.
Note: I only applied after my chair, who was the person who suggested I apply in the first place, talked to the study abroad people and gave me the go-ahead to apply.

One Year Ago Today

2012-01-21T23:55:00.000-05:00

So, one year ago we made an offer on this house, which was accepted a few days later. We closed and moved in in April. I have a post about the house brewing in my mind for a while now, but I can't write it tonight... I just wanted to post this for the record! ;)

Vera, or How I Don't Care About "Looking Professional"

2012-01-19T09:16:00.001-05:00

This is my new (laptop) backpack (from here) and it makes me soooooo happy!

It's the most expensive (even on sale) backpack I've ever owned, but it is undoubtedly the very best. And I'm not saying that just because I think it's pretty, but because it's well made, roomy, seems to be resistant (it's all lined with synthetic materials on the inside) and it is very comfortable to wear, even with a heavy 16 inch laptop (in the main compartment since it only fits laptops up to 15 in.), two heavy textbooks and other books and things. It was just what I needed to be more efficient at work!

It does not look one bit "professional," but it's just what I wanted and I'm definitely taking it along when I go to my discipline's annual conference in March to present a paper. Flower Power!

Downton Abbey Overdose

2012-01-18T23:17:00.003-05:00

OK, it's all your fault -- my friends in the computer!!

You kept tweeting (it's not twittering, right? that would be the actually birds, no? ;) about Downton Abbey to the point that you made me want to check it out! The laundry is to blame too, because after feeling so efficient I wanted to reward myself with something fun and... well... frivolous. ;)

Oh, and I'll go ahead and blame it on Time Magazine's article too (from last week) that featured the real house and its actual owners (and how they need to rent out their estate for filming in order to maintain the house since they don't have much money). It definitely made me curious.

So on Monday night, after I loaded the washer for the fifth & last time, I went to look for it and figured out that the first season was available for viewing online on PBS.org (note: it's not anymore, more on that in a minute). I watched the first episode (because I had to get ready to teach the next morning) and liked it. The problem is that I didn't realize that all of season one was only available until last night (1/17).

I needed to prepare classes for today last night, but I ended up caving in and watching episodes 2, 3 and part of 4 until 3 am! -- just because I knew they were going to "disappear" from the website (which they did). That was silly of me because they're available for streaming on Netflix -- that's how I watched the end of episode four (which is 7 in Netflix -- different number of episodes there from pbs).

The "bad" thing was that when I stopped viewing it and finally went to bed (midway through last episode of the season), I thought it was going really well, but tonight, after watching the end of the episode, I didn't like it quite as much.

The truth is... I realized years ago, that I don't really like TV or cinema, I like literature, so... I generally like book adaptations much better than original scripts (even when I haven't read the original! it seems I can "recognize" it's a literary work even without knowing sometimes). The latter seem shallow and contrived to me and that's precisely how I felt about Downton Abbey this evening...

I will continue watching, though (online, we have no cable or tv that picks up the air signals). These things are addictive, unfortunately. Mindless entertainment (which I don't care much for, but... isn't literature that too? Well... yes, but it's more of an art than made-for-TV things, right. Right?!!

Anyone else out there watching?

Efficient Monday (just for the record)

2012-01-18T22:42:00.000-05:00

I'm a couple days late posting this, but you'll soon know why...

I just wanted to record in the blog (for my own benefit, no one else's, as everything else I write here) that I did five loads of laundry on Monday and by the time I went to bed (very late, more on that soon) four of the loads had been folded and put away (while the fifth was drying): two loads of dark clothes, two of light colored ones and one of "hand-washables" (including six of K's dress shirts that needed to soak in oxyclean, my favorite stain remover, before washing).

I felt so efficient! (and, BTW, I prefer to do lots of loads in one day every two weeks or so rather than spreading them out several days a week).

P.S. I really enjoy doing laundry and I've blogged about it on and off. I haven't written more because I think it's probably a boring subject for other people.

Edited to add: since I started, and because I'm just plain crazy, now I'll have a full list of my main "Laundry posts:" :)

2007: I wrote this "intro to clothesline" and this closet post;
2008: had a good laugh about my January 2008 clothesline disaster,
2009: I went all out and couldn't shut up about laundry in this post about boy's underpants (I still can't believe K had/maybe has 22 boxers, Kelvin probably has the same number. Which means that doing laundry once a month is feasible in our house ;).
2010: feeling accomplished (before we moved); and productive (after we moved);
2011: the attack of the crazy ADHD housewife and her laundering & cleaning, among other domestic stuff! ;)

Fun times! At least for me!

Total & Complete Schedule Disconnect*

2012-01-16T12:50:00.001-05:00

We knew that our Spring Break would probably never coincide with the boys', but we never expected that the disconnect* between their school's schedule and ours at the university would be so great!

Our university has a slightly different schedule from others -- we begin before Labor day, and the school year ends on or around Memorial day. The school also operates on most major holidays (including Labor day) -- except for today, Martin Luther King Jr.'s Day (good thing: as a result, we have a week off on Thanksgiving).

The boys, on the other hand, have all holidays off from school, except -- obviously (and as "Murphy's Law" would dictate it) -- MLK's Day!!

Isn't that just awfully aggravating? So today we are enjoying a peaceful day of work at home while the boys are at school while next month on Presidents' Day we're going to have to bring them to the university with us. In addition to the holidays, their school has several days when their teachers have an "in-service" day or other training activities. I guess the worse will be their Spring break: what are we going to do with them for four days? (at least both K & I have Fridays off this semester).

These are problematic, but minor disconnects, though, when compared to the big "vacation disconnect." K's summer grants go from June to the end of July (but not in May, when the boys are still in school), so the best month for him to take the month-long vacation he's entitled to would be August. Guess what? The boys' school starts in the middle of August. Thankfully their school year ends at the end of May, so they have all of June off, so in the future when K doesn't have to rely in the university grants anymore and has outside grants, we can schedule our vacation trips for June.

(annoying first world problems, I know, but still real)

* I'm not 100% comfortable in using disconnect as a noun, but I truly enjoy the plasticity [flexibility] of the English language in which "better" can be a verb too, not just a comparative adjective. This post by Ubuntucat (which I found by googling "disconnect as a noun" is pretty good. I might have to start reading her (?) blog).

That's why we spoke only English in Florida :)

2012-01-16T11:40:00.001-05:00

As you know, we try to speak only Portuguese at home and not let the boys forget their first language (they didn't know any English until they were 4.5 years old). It's getting harder and harder, though, particularly for our youngest boy, who talks a lot -- he has to think before he tells us things in Portuguese. The boys' language skills would be better if we could travel to Brazil every year, but that's no longer the possible. :(

Why then, would you ask, we spoke mostly English in public with the boys while we were in Florida? Well, well... this may sound ridiculous or crazy, but there were so many Brazilian tourists all around us everywhere we didn't want to: (1) have them overhearing our conversations; (2) be thought of as tourists and not "locals." (K was the one who was most adamant about this & I was the one constantly having to struggle not to speak Portuguese -- he's not too excited about me writing this post. ;)

And why am I sharing this anyway? Because of this report that came on today on CNN's website:

Brazilians LOVE to shop in the U.S. and they come to Florida (and New York city) by the hundreds of thousands every year.

I just didn't know that there were so many wealthy Brazilians buying properties in Miami, but Time Magazine's "2012 User's Guide" should have tipped me off. On p.60, Michael Duffy* posed the 10 multiple choice questions for the readers, #2 was: "The U.S. economic bubble most likely to reinflate is: A. Miami Beach condos, because of record investment by Brazilians." And while that is not the correct answer -- "Iowa and Illinois farmland, because or record corn shortages in China" is -- it's defintely something that's making waves in Florida's economy and, consequently, in the country as a whole.

P.S. I guess another reason for what we did in Florida is that we're identifying less and less with people from our country, which is true, but sad.

* apparently I can't link to this because Time Mag. content is only available for subscribere.

Talk About Feeling Sore!

2012-01-12T23:10:00.002-05:00

Last week I was really surprised that I wasn't sore after the two hour-long "body-sculpt" fitness classes that I took, but this week was "the fitness-classes' revenge!" ;)

Yoga 2 is probably the one to blame because today's 45 minutes of body sculpt probably only exacerbated the soreness of yesterday's 50 minutes of more advanced yoga. It was my very first Yoga 2 class and I loved it! Most importantly, I think I'm ready for it, but... I think I will feel sore for the first month at least!

I enjoyed learning new poses, such as the dolphin (which I may have done once or twice last summer):

(photo from The Yoga Journal)

the supported shoulder stand (my one year of gymnastics back in 1990 in college helped me with this one!):

(photo from The Yoga Journal as well)

and one I'd never heard off, that flows out of warrior 2 -- the bird-of-paradise (I love this flower, BTW!)

(photo from that's fit's "Transform Yourself with Yoga" with Mandy Ingber)

This will be a great semester with yoga!!! Bring on the soreness!

Blackboard Sucks

2012-01-12T01:40:00.000-05:00

and that's all I'm going to say about that right now. BLAH!!!

The most counter-intuitive piece of software I've ever had to use in my life.

Qualtrics (for surveys), on the other hand? ROCKS big time!

I wish the they could be one and the same ;)

The Joy of Books - AWESOME!

2012-01-11T18:54:00.000-05:00

Have you seen this?

It came about because of this: (a bookcase organization project gone crazy ;)

My son Kelvin and I LOVED them just couldn't stop watching these videos over and over. And, of course, I immediately looked at these in our home library:

and felt like spending a few nights taking photos to produce similar animation -- of course we won't do it, it's lovely but too complicated! So I'm very glad that Sean Ohlenkamp and his wife Lisa Blonder Ohlenkamp did it both at home and at Type Bookstore in Toronto.

Long live to books! (I can't bear to think that they may be on the road to "extinction")

Fraud!

2012-01-10T21:04:00.001-05:00

Phew...
I'm just coming off the phone after talking to my credit card company regarding two fraudulent charges that I just noticed on our credit card.

Thankfully I had logged in to check our balances both in the bank and the credit card and I noticed the two charges for over 1K, for tickets in an Israeli airline that were done today and I called right away. That's why I'm not even that nervous right now...

This is so scary and annoying! I cannot imagine how those who suffer identity theft feel. The bad part was that I had just purchased a gift for my brother (whose birthday is in two days) with the card, so I'm not cancelling and getting it replaced until that purchase goes through (all the way in NZ). The credit card company will call me to verify each transaction, though, until I replace the card.

Very unsettling, but, hopefully, a problem that can be solved.

The Second Day was Better

2012-01-10T20:17:00.000-05:00

The classes I teach Th-Th are different from Mo-Wed so the second day was actually my second "first" day and it went well.

I still had trouble with the syllabi, but this time, instead of handing out a document with errors, I decided not to hand out the syllabus just yet since most students have been with me since last semester or previous ones and they know how our class works (this is the fourth semester with me for four of my students).

I was glad to see that both of my classes today have windows too! I miss some students from last semester that didn't return, but we have good groups and three new students who are starting Portuguese in the 2nd semester and who will have some catching up to do.

Now, feMOMhist asked yesterday in a comment whether I'm planning to teach wearing yoga pants Mo/Wed and here's my plan: in the winter it's pretty easy to go straight from yoga to class, all I have to do is to wear tight cotton leggings under my regular work pants and a workout top under my blouse or sweater. I wear long underwear all winter long anyway, I'm always cold, so the leggings will replace those on Mo/Wed. Then all I have to do is to remove the top layer for yoga class and put it all back on quickly to go teach. The class is only 50 minutes long, so I don't get very sweaty, which is good.

When it warms up it'll be a bit trickier. I have a couple of shorter dresses that I wear over leggings and which won't require changing clothes if I wear the workout top underneath, but I will need to change if I want to wear other dresses or other kinds of pants (e.g. capri). I don't really wear skirts & blouses much, so that helps. That's my plan, what do you think?

OK, I have to go update the faulty syllabus now and do a zillion other things. It's hard to work in the afternoon since I have to coax two boys to do homework and practice piano while I try to cook something for dinner, which reminds me I haven't posted about food and cooking for a while, right? I have to post a "to-do" list for the blog as a reminder.

First day wasn't bad

2012-01-09T23:55:00.003-05:00

I didn't post yesterday because my post was going to be too negative, with snippets such as this one:

(post title: Back to teaching)
"sense of being perennially under-prepared (I was going to say unprepared, but I'm generally prepared, but not as much as I wish I were)"

This was the only thing I'd written of the post, BTW.

So... I just decided not to blog and to spend my time preparing a bit more to teach and then I went to bed (at my usual 2 am time, I know, very very bad, right?).

This morning I consciously decided to sleep for one more hour (after getting the boys' lunches ready) and I then I was unable to go to the yoga class that's just before the class I teach.* It was OK, though and I like my 43 students a lot. Four were already my students last semester, so I already have some "groupies" who will see me four days a week! (they also take Portuguese with me) There is a large group of freshmen and I hope they like the class!

A few things went wrong, obviously: (1) I couldn't check out the documentary that I was planning to show the students because the department's resource center was closed, but I had another DVD that I could show (downside -- I hadn't previewed it, but it was ok); (2) I had minor trouble printing and copying the class materials and... (this one happens every.single.semester... [sigh!!]) (3) I had put several dates wrong on the schedule... :( I blame this last one on my ADHD. :P

Most things were just fine, though. Because I couldn't go to the yoga class I had time to eat and finish the power point presentation which was OK. And things went well in class... looking at the survey results (the PP), going over the syllabus, meeting the students and... I was very happy that this is my very first time teaching in a class with windows in my 1.5 year here!! I was delighted to see the snow falling outside during class.

I have a feeling this is going to be a great semester and I truly hope it is! For my friends who are teaching or going to school, how is the beginning of your semester going?

*I changed my class's time on purpose so I can go to the lunch hour classes, but didn't realize I will have only exactly 20 minutes to leave the yoga class to come and teach -- lucky for me, it's a 2-3 minute walk.

"Body Sculpt" is fun!

2012-01-06T23:30:00.000-05:00

This week I went to two "body sculpt" classes and I really enjoyed them. Of course I selected the lightest weights and the least resistant stretch bands to be on the safe side, but I'm really surprised that I haven't felt any pain after both classes (I often feel quite sore after yoga and even more after "yogalates"). Maybe I should use heavier weights next time? I don't have to feel pain after every fitness class, right? Or maybe I'm just not that out of shape. ;)

So... as far as "new year's resolutions" go, I'm doing really well on # 1 -- including spending more time with my husband, but, sadly, that will change when we start teaching next week. :(

Songs from when I was born (July 1971) - facebook meme

2012-01-06T10:42:00.000-05:00

I can't stand facebook, so I decided to post this fun fb meme on the blog instead.

The challenge is to find which song was the #1 on the week you were born, find the video on YouTube and post it to one's profile -- or blog! (Another meme I saw yesterday asked for the song from when you turned 9, but I like to go back further in time!). :)

According to Wikipedia's List of Billboard's Hot 100 for 1971 singles, when I was born (July 7), there were two Carole King songs that were #1 (and they were in this position for five weeks in a row!):

Now, I remember the first one really well and I like both, but I was positively delighted to find out that one of my favorite songs was #1 by the last week of July, James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend"

Last, but not least, since my husband doesn't have a blog & doesn't post on fb either, I thought I'd share the song that was popular on May 26 (1971) when he was born -- so much fun -- "Joy to the World!"

My Christmas Books!

2012-01-05T22:26:00.000-05:00

I received many lovely Christmas presents -- we exchanged presents among all five families, including all adults, we even had lists on Google docs ;) -- but I think these were some of my favorites! My dear sister-in-law gave me two of the films I wanted (Jane Eyre and Once) and the book on the right The Annotated Persuasion, and K gave me Michael Moore's book!! If only I didn't have to prepare syllabi and classes and could sit back and enjoy them... sigh.

I desperately NEED to stop reading stuff online and to read more books -- both to prepare my classes better and just for my enjoyment. So... one more "resolution" for me, a person who has always been pretty anti-resolution. (see how blogging has been changing that? ;)

At 1:30 am, after 15 Hours... Home Sweet Home!

2012-01-03T11:53:00.002-05:00

We drove back home yesterday from Florida and a trip that was supposed to take 11 to 12 hours at the most, took 15 exhausting hours because of weather and road conditions (some accidents). After a good night of sleep in our own beds, though, we're really happy to be home and the boys are delighted to have one last day to play at home before they head back to school tomorrow morning.

This vacation was definitely too short, next time we need to plan to get our grading done as far ahead of the deadline as possible so we can be packed an ready to leave as soon as we post our grades! Maybe... just maybe next year we'll go to Brazil for the holidays. I don't know if it'll be possible (too costly), but maybe we can work it out and my dream can come true.

Now, we need to get back to work, getting our syllabi ready and preparing classes. I'm not ready to start just yet, but we have no choice. Sigh...That's the problem with vacations, getting back to "real life" afterwards is really tough! :(

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T23:34:00.000-05:00

I hope you all have a wonderful 2012!

2011 went by too fast, didn't it? I have a feeling 2012 will be the same way. Maybe it feels that way because I'm getting older... oh well.

(and I thought I had posted this on the 1st, but I'll do it now, keeping the date/time when I wrote it).

In 2012...

2011-12-31T18:33:00.001-05:00

... I want to exercise more* and to spend more time with my husband;

... I want to go to Brazil, my dream would be to go twice, but once will be good too;

... I hope to become better at teaching my classes and to make a difference in the life of my students;

... I wish that good health can be re-established for all those friends and family who are experiencing health issues;

... we'll travel a lot and I hope we can have wonderful trips, starting with South Africa in March and Brazil in the summer (winter there).

... my son will be ten years old, I can hardly believe that he's growing up so fast.

I'm sure there's more, but this is what I can think of now.

Happy New Year for everyone!!

* I know this is the most cliched new year's resolution there is, but it is something that I already started working on in 2011 because I started doing yoga.

The Best of 2011

2011-12-31T18:31:00.000-05:00

Our new house -- my only "actual wish" this year (in small print at the end of my "what has to happen" in 2011 post).

My nephew's birth (my first wish for this year).

K's whole family's trip to Florida that is ending tomorrow (and which I knew would be a highlight of this year). We took some great pictures here, but I won't share them in the blog since there are too many people involved.

Meeting Jo(e) (another wish).

There were many other things and I'll try to write about them later, but I think these are the best.

What didn't happen in 2011

2011-12-31T16:51:00.002-05:00

About a year ago I wrote a post about "what will happen in 2011" and one thing did not happen: my 7 year old did not lose his front baby teeth just yet... but I don't think they'll survive 2012. :( He's the one on the right:

I'm editing this post because there are more things that did not happen this year from my "wish lists:"

I did not get to see my brother and his wife at all -- I suppose the "every two years, from two days to two weeks rule" will continue, maybe forever. :(

Not everyone is healthy in the family (my brother-in-law had two surgeries to remove a tumor from his leg. My mother-in-law had a biopsy done in her thyroid, we're hoping the results will be OK -- she didn't get them yet because of her month-long trip here).

I didn't plant raspberries and grapes and I don't think I ever will. :( I did plant lots of bulbs, though, and I can't wait for them to bloom in the Spring!

I wasn't able to meet other bloggers just yet, only Jo(e).

And, obviously, I didn't get to post 365 times in the blog, but I will be able to post more than last year as I wished to.

I'm missing them a lot...

2011-12-31T16:39:00.004-05:00

they are my babies, after all:

Lighted

2011-12-31T16:16:00.003-05:00

Isn't it pretty?

Our Christmas, Before & After

2011-12-30T23:34:00.000-05:00

The other families were too busy enjoying their gifts to come play with the wrappings. :)

Two Days Left

2011-12-30T01:51:00.002-05:00

To post a whole bunch and be done with 2011. I'll miss this year, it was positively great and about to end in great style with K's family reunion.

Tomorrow night I think I'll have more time to post and try to meet my own challenge.

K & I took the boys here yesterday and it was awesome, except for the crowds (which we mostly beat with the fast track tickets we printed) and for missing the fireworks (long stupid story). More later, then!! (sleeping at 2 am every night and waking between 7-8 when the little kids get up is pretty hard!)

I don't know...

2011-12-27T01:49:00.002-05:00

... if during this bustling week with family here in Florida I will be able to achieve my goal of posting more than last year, but I don't really mind if I don't make it. Blogging is important and meaningful for me, but way less than most everything else in life, as it should be.

I am enjoying spending time with K's family and we had a wonderful Christmas day yesterday -- I hope to be able to blog more about it, but if it doesn't, it's ok! Gotta go to bed now!

Our Old iPod 30GB Died...

2011-12-25T20:14:00.000-05:00

... taking with it all the Christmas music we planned to play over the holiday. (Kelvin had transferred a bunch of music to the iPad, but then accidentally deleted it during an update and our laptop has no music and neither do our external hard-drives -- we'll change that soon).

Thankfully, Spotify saved the day and we were were listening to one of my favorite Brazilian Christmas albums when we opened presents this morning -- Ivan Lins' Um Novo Tempo (this link is only to one of the songs, all the others are also available in Amazon).

"Festas" is one of my favorites because is shows how Brazilians love feasts & celebrations (festas, which also means parties ;) and this album is the reason why now I really love "Feliz Navidad" (at least this version!) which I used to hate with a vengeance.

My other favorite Christmas album is the quirky Mercy Me: The Christmas Album and for me two classics are Amy Grant's Home for Christmas and A Christmas to Remember, both absolutely gorgeous.

OK, here's my short-list of Christmas music. I barely heard Xmas music this year, so I think I'll listen to some more during the rest of the week. More photos to come soon, OK?

Merry Christmas!! (Before and Before photos :)

2011-12-25T01:55:00.000-05:00

Well... I'm glad that being stuck in traffic on Friday evening didn't prevent us to from going to buy a Christmas tree before we made it to the rental house. Our car was horribly packed, but somehow we were able to fit a (live) Christmas tree inside it! I'm delighted we did that!

There's no mantel in the rental house, so we had to improvise where to hang the stockings. Oh, and we're all putting stuff into each other's stockings... ;)

Before fully stuffed:

After significant stuffing (but before opening them!):

And here's the tree before all presents were under/around it:

After most were there (but before opening, right?):

This Christmas promises to be awesome!

Beach!!

2011-12-25T01:54:00.000-05:00

We're having a lovely time here!

We spent some time at! the! beach! on Friday and that delayed our arrival in Orlando and we got stuck in traffic for a good while. :( But it was, oh... so worth it!

P.S. I took only the first photo, I think. K is way better photographer than me! ;)

Safely Here in Florida

2011-12-23T08:44:00.001-05:00

We still have a few more hours of travel from Jacksonville to Orlando and we'll probably drive down for a bit along the beaches! The weather will be beautiful this weekend, up to the 80s, so if we can dig into our suitcases in the car for swimwear, we might even go into the water for a bit!! And then after Christmas, it will cool off a little bit (lower 70s, still nice).

K's brother ("K2") and his family are at a hotel a few blocks from us, but I don't know if we'll meet up with them or if they're in a hurry to get to Orlando. We can't get into our rental house until 4 pm... We need to go grocery shopping and to buy a live Christmas tree, but we don't have any room in our minivans for those items! We'll be meeting up with K's parents, though, and we'll probably fill their rental car with stuff!

I didn't blog last night because I didn't want to bother my sleeping family with the computer's blue light. Well... I can't wait for the biggest Christmas in K's family history (17 people, including the "babies" [two 18 month olds]) -- there will be hundreds of presents under that tree! That's why our car is bursting to the seams!

Oh, last but not least, the in-laws, as well as "K3" and "K4" and families just spent 5 days in Cancun -- lucky them!

Hey, I just opened the curtains of the hotel room to let in the sunlight and Linton said, when Kelvin asked for some music and I said we should have Christmas music, "It's not Christmas, it's summer!" I suppose Christmas in Florida will feel similar to Christmas in Brazil, since it's summer in the Southern hemisphere now. We'll enjoy it for sure!

I'll be back, but let me send out my first with for a Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Leaving in a Packed Car...

2011-12-22T09:42:00.001-05:00

... instead of a jet plane. Sigh.

Well, packing for flying is even more stressful, though way more organized.

OK, gotta go.

Traveling to Florida

2011-12-22T02:06:00.001-05:00

I'm not 100% packed yet, but I need to go to bed because I can't keep my eyes open anymore! :(

I hope I don't forget anything -- this concern, coupled with my inability to decide or choose what to bring (these small decisions are the worst ones in life for me and they make me miserable at times) is the main reason why I can't stand the day(s) that precede a big trip.

OK, I have to go to bed now... am I even making any sense in this post?

My Uncle Called Me!

2011-12-20T17:35:00.001-05:00

Remember my uncle? Well, I guess that another update is in order, since I last blogged extensively about him nearly two years ago (post above).

Now that my brother-in-law moved close to my uncle, I'm seeing him and my aunt more often. We last saw them back in October and I even got to help care for my uncle by staying with him for one morning while my aunt went to talk to one of the ladies she works for (Have I already told you that she's been working for over 25 years for this guy's wife, so, consequently, at his house? She has an autographed copy of his book).

Anyway, physically, my uncle is doing pretty well, he can walk a little bit unassisted and he can have conversations with us and eat on his own. He sleeps a whole lot during the day, though. And during those 2 days in October, he was pretty confused. He was mixing up things he sees on TV with real life and the conversations we were having, but apparently he has good days in which his mind seems perfectly clear and he can talk to you normally.

Well, this afternoon he called me. I think it was the first time in over three years that I talked to Uncle O on the phone (he had his surgery 2.5 years ago). He wasn't confused at all on the phone, we had a lovely conversation about this time of the year, he thanked me for the Christmas card that they just got in the mail from us yesterday (I mailed them last Friday) and told me about their plans for the holidays (they're going to Ocean City). It was so nice to hear his voice and talk to him! I wish he could recover fully, but the likelihood of that happening is very low. :(

In any case, his phone call made my day! I have to see if my cousin (his only daughter who lives in Vienna now) will be still there when we return from Florida because I'd love to see her!

OK, I have to go back to packing and cooking dinner now, but I just thought I'd share this today.

15

2011-12-20T01:21:00.001-05:00

I have to write 15 more posts before the end of the year to beat last year's posts. I hope I can make it, in spite of the busy times ahead with K's family in Florida. Had I told you that we're going to Florida? I probably did.

OK, gotta go to bed now.

Free!!!

2011-12-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

Yeah... free from grading to go work some more, and more... Make packing lists, pack, pack, clean house and garage, get people in the airport (a favor for a friend), pack car... shop for the Xmas presents that I still didn't have time to buy. Host friends so we can eat some yummy food... and cancel lunch with friends because of going to airport to pick person up. :(

and K thinks we won't be able to leave on Wednesday morning to Florida, and he's probably right. :( Oh well... I wish I could work faster than humanly possible, but I went to bed at 3 am last night and I'm sooo tired!

Well, let's see what happens. I'll keep you posted. Grading take SOOO much time, but the truth is that I like to do it all concentrated in a couple of days like this. It's crazy, but I think that I go way faster. The good news? My students got tons of As!! Which is fine with me! If they fulfilled all their obligations and my expectations, why not As for those who earn them? Yeah... that's what I think.

OK, gotta go pick up the boys in school.

17 Years Ago...

2011-12-18T23:59:00.000-05:00

... K and I got married! I blogged about it before several times (16th - last year, 15th -- with photos!).

We were able to leave our sons with a friend and go out to eat some Italian food and I had very yummy tiramisu (I needed it to be awake grading).

OK, now I have to go resume the "regularly scheduled programming" of grading jail. Sigh... (that's why I wrote earlier that the timing for our anniversary will always be a little troublesome).

In Grading "Jail"

2011-12-18T09:23:00.001-05:00

I have to grade everything today and I'm actually thankful for the deadline (tomorrow). It will be a glorious feeling to be free from that. Too bad the timing is of this grading period is not good and it will be the same thing year after year for me and K... (you'll see why at a later post today)

Let me get to work now!

Ayrton Senna do Brasil

2011-12-15T23:56:00.001-05:00

The year was 1994 and my job was teaching English for one class period (45 mins) a week for 2nd-4th graders. Maybe you'll think I'm lying, but it's true that the week after Senna's crash, I couldn't really teach my 4th graders. They spent all of our 45 minutes of class humming his name under their breath "Senna, Senna, Senna."

I watched the crash live with my dad, as I typed a paper on the computer next to the TV in our family room and from that day on, after 10+ years of watching Formula One races as a family nearly every Sunday, I never watched another race.

I just found out through wikipedia that Senna was the last pilot to die in an F1 race -- they changed many things in the sport to avoid another tragedy such as this one.

This is the song we heard throughout my childhood time and again on Globo television in Brazil during the "victory lap" whenever a Brazilian pilot won (I believe they still play it today, but I could be wrong) -- I have it on a CD and my boys are very familiar with the song (and other TV Globo songs from my childhood):

And here's the trailer of the Senna documentary (not yet released on DVD), which won the Sundance Festival this year and which I didn't even know existed until last night when I clicked on Michael Moore's twitter link to his theater in Michigan and saw their schedule. My lucky brother got to watch it on an IMAX screen in New Zealand:

I can barely wait until the DVD is released here to see it. The reviews say it's a riveting documentary, just like Senna himself. I wish I could fly to Michigan to see it in Moore's theater. :( And I wish I'd found out about it earlier, while it was still playing in more places.

Go see Hugo while you can -- this is an order, not advice!!!

2011-12-15T23:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had a lovely and oh... so rare! :( afternoon date with K. We had a nice meal at one of the great all-you-can-eat dining halls at the university (which -- horror! -- just reminded me of one of those buffets in Las Vegas [I HATE Vegas with a vengeance, BTW]) and went to see a movie completely by ourselves in the theater (it was 1 pm after all, on finals week).

I have seen movies in theaters so few times in my life that it was a unique and very enjoyable experience to have the whole place to ourselves for the first time in my life. Oh, the joy of commenting loudly, as often as I wanted, and in Portuguese too!

OK, I talk too much, don't I? How am I supposed to convince you to go see Scorsese's Hugo?

First... there was Brian Selznick's book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret which is great. Here's the book trailer (seriously, book trailers are WEIRD! Who invented book trailers?):

And then, Scorsese made Hugo, the movie:

And now I will have to buy this book (because of the previous post, get it?).

I have to write one more movie recommendation today and then I'll be off!

I've Got a Paper to Write (or... Accepted)

2011-12-15T23:19:00.002-05:00

I still don't know the answer to that, and, at this point, I'm getting a little discouraged, thinking that maybe it's a "no," but... I have good news nevertheless!

Well, not groundbreaking news or anything, after all -- the MLA excepted -- insiders know that most everyone that submits a paper or a panel for presentation at an academic conference gets accepted, so... I was accepted and have a paper to write for a conference in the Spring. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, but I won't say much about that because I don't want to reveal too much about my eminently googleable paper topic.

I'm pretty excited, except that... saying that March and April next year will be CRAzy HECTIC months (I'll keep the small zy there, it looks funky) is a huge understatement. I better get started with my paper right now -- it's a great procrastination strategy for 100 papers that need grading (booo hooo!!!!!!).

OK, got at least to more posts to write, or else I'll never complete my race to "outpost" last year in the blog.

Link Love: Best Picture Books, Climate Change & the Right, Poor Academics & More,

2011-12-13T22:44:00.003-05:00

I've been collecting a bunch of links in the two browsers opened in my desktop. Generally, I just email them to myself when I decide it's time to shut down the computer so those pesky updates can get installed, but today I decided to blog them instead.

Shall we begin with the picture books? (And, as an aside, Library of the Early Mind, the great documentary about children's literature and its most celebrated Anglophone authors [most American, I think] that I blogged about back in June is available for order as a DVD and for renting online!)

Here's a list of the 11 Best Picture Books/Illustrated books of 2011 -- some of these are gorgeous!

Next, Naomi Klein takes on the disgust that conservatives have about climate change.

Rachel Wagner has a sad account of being an academic and still remaining poor (it has lots to do with having a child in graduate school and, well, also with taking loans to pay to get a graduate degree -- definitely a HUGE No-No!). She received lots of awful criticism, but I think her piece is pretty interesting and informative.

Adjuncts versus Full-Timers in the fight to unionization.

OK, that's it for now... maybe more later!

Still Waiting...

2011-12-13T16:28:00.001-05:00

... to hear about that. Maybe this means bad news. :( Since there's nothing I can do about it, I might as well try to forget about it for a little bit and wait (before sending an email to the "grant-givers"). Sigh... I hope I can do that.

Edited to Add: well, I checked their website and the award will be announced this week, so I have to wait until Friday. That's OK, I can do that. It'll be my reward for finishing of all my grading.

Suspense

2011-12-12T14:13:00.001-05:00

I applied for a travel grant for next year and I just remembered that we're supposed to be notified of the receipt of the grant by today... Now I'm pretty nervous and anxious about it. I hope I get it! If I do, my expenses to travel to Brazil next summer will be covered, so I can plan for an upcoming study abroad there. This will help me fulfill my dream of going again to Brazil for the holidays next year, to meet my nephew and have the four cousins (same link as above) together.

(I am planning to pay for the boys to go in the summer and use our mileage to go in December -- let's see if this will work).

I'll keep you posted about the grant! I just checked my email, but there's nothing yet.

10:42 am

2011-12-12T13:19:00.004-05:00

I was able to sleep in this morning until 10:42 am!! YAY!!

I got up for a few minutes at 8 am to wish the boys a good day at school and make sure they had everything they needed (like books for the piano lesson) and then I went right back to bed.

It was LOVELY and just what I needed today! Now... on to grading and the last night of the Bethlehem tours (4 hours long in the cold... good thing there are fires & hand+foot warmers help too). More later.

breeze

2011-12-09T23:30:00.001-05:00

if you read my earlier post and you're wondering how it went... well... I really couldn't believe what happened!

I had to miss my relaxing yoga class, but fortunately it was a breeze to get in and out of those stores, I even got to park right in front of the door in both Target & WM something that hardly ever happens on either place! Of course Costco was as crowded as ever (and I forgot to buy contact lens solution -- 'cause it obviously was not on my list! :p ), but it was ok.

There were only two problems: 1) I forgot that I had to recharge my store card to buy gas (put only 5 dollars to be able to go back home); 2) the traffic in the parking lot and surrounding streets after I finished shopping was horribly jammed, so I was late picking up the boys. :(

I'm beyond exhausted after 4 hours and saying my lines 19 times... sigh. And I'm still smelling like smoke, even after a hot shower. only three more nights to go. (I will have a substitute for part of Sunday, though, which is good).

dread

2011-12-09T10:55:00.001-05:00

I cancelled the yoga class reservation (mopping and cleaning took too long on top of blogging) and I'm heading to town now. I DREAD going into the stores, though. I wish I could go to sleep and woke up after the holidays... I can't stand the crowds. I just need to buy food for our family and cleaning supplies and stuff. Sigh. I'll let you know how bad it was later, OK?

Busy, Relieved, Worried

2011-12-09T09:07:00.000-05:00

Busy
Well, this word is a bit too weak to describe this week. Yesterday was the busiest day, by far, so, a quick summary: I arrived at the university at 9:45 and administered 3 oral exams before teaching ,my 2 last classes, from 11-1:45. Then, three more oral exams and a meeting of 1h30 with two students who need looots of help. I barely eat on Tu/Th because I teach right over lunch time (and I don't like/can't [IBS] have breakfast, so that's a problem for me. I generally eat a plate of food during my 11 am class). In fact, I've been so busy this semester that I've been buying frozen food, like the 1.50 pasta & vegetables on tasty sauces that I can find at evil-superstore-that's-open-24h-and-in-which-I-shouldn't-shop or the nice and yummy organic & vegetarian dishes of Amy's kitchen, which is what I ate yesterday (enchilada verde, my favorite).

I had to be getting ready for a performance in church (more on that in a second) at 5 pm, but I only left the university at 4:50! I ran home to put on a few more layers of clothing and to "grab" my family that was going to participate too. We were a bit late [it started at 5:30], but it was OK in the end. You see... we're doing this huge Bethlehem town representation for five nights. It involves hundreds of people and it's really nicely set up with a great script (it takes about 45 mins. to go through) and I'm a poor widow (with my youngest son), my oldest son is a school boy with a small speaking part and my husband will be the Inn-keeper for a few nights. The whole thing goes from 5:30-9:15 or later every night until Monday. Sigh... We've had several nightly practices in the past weeks (even before Thanksgiving), and the last was on Tuesday (and on Monday I cooked to help feed a group of homeless that is given shelter in various churches around town, so Wednesday was our only "free" night this week). It does feel good to be helpful, though.

If all that weren't enough, my mother- and father-in-law are coming tonight to spend the weekend, so K & I were cleaning the house until 1 am last night, mostly because today he has to work and go to a holiday party (until roughly 4 pm -- remember that by 5 we have to go to the performance!) and I have to go shopping for food and other necessities since I didn't have time at all the whole week! I should be mopping my kitchen floors right now and yet I'm blogging (I need some "therapeutic" me time to help me keep sane in all the busy-ness). But... I'll try to have an hour for myself later today too.

Relieved
Remember those bad news? Well, they were about my brother-in-law and there's some good news to supplement those. He's had the first surgery (prior to the news), then a CT scan -- which scared him more than anything -- and which came back negative, no metastasis anywhere else in the body! Which is great news, since that makes it more treatable. His second surgery was on Tuesday and it was successful. He will undergo radiation therapy in January. The only thing is that it seems that he's feeling much more pain and other side effects of the medication (nausea) than he did after the first surgery, so I hope he can recover and feel better soon.

Worried
I'm really really worried about my sister-in-law, my brother, and the new baby (in that order). I think Andi Buchanan's phrase "Mother Shock" is too weak for what they're undergoing, really... and I feel sorry that there's nothing that we can do to help, since it's hard to even talk to them and just talking won't help relieve their sheer shock, exhaustion, etc. My poor SIL was diagnosed with acute anemia after the baby was born. She is being treated, but the extra exhaustion brought by that condition, added to not sleeping, etc, is just too hard on her. Then, she couldn't take the pain of breastfeeding and suffered greatly until she was given nipple shields.

We only talked to them last week on Saturday when they took & sent us some photos and skyped with us briefly. All I hear is through my mom, who's communicating briefly with my brother every day. Ever since the baby came, my SIL realized she cannot sleep -- she gets stressed out about the baby being OK. My brother is trying to help, but he's working full time and her parents are there, but they only help during the day... The latest I heard is that the baby is crying up to an hour a day -- they think he might be colicky!! -- :( I hope that's not the case, but if it is, I just pray that they can survive. Of course we all know they will... but... I feel for them and worry. Especially because I had it so (comparatively) easy -- well, I never wrote in the blog in detail about the nightmare of Kelvin not nursing/latching on for a month and me pumping for that whole time. I will try to do that someday. It's always been too difficult to even remember.

So... yeah, I wish I could feel simply happy about the birth of my nephew, but that's not to be. :( I wish the birth of a new baby could be easier on the parents and family, but it never is. So many people (SIL especially), worry so much about the labor and delivery, but those are nothing, really compared to what comes after, there's nothing that can prepare you for a new baby, NOTHING. That's why there's this sharp division in the world between those who are parents and know and those who don't. There's no way the latter can ever understand the former, seriously.

All right, that's enough for now, I have to do some mopping and run to town for food shopping. (outrageously ridiculous rhyming, I know, and not on purpose, I swear!).

my greatest fear

2011-12-07T01:14:00.000-05:00

It was early evening and raining when I entered the highway driving home from work today. I immediately thought that it was dangerous to drive under those conditions, but I hoped & trusted that everything would be fine. I felt that way because every time I drive I feel a keen awareness that driving is one of the most dangerous things we do every day and that there is a real threat of getting into an accident and getting killed.

That's why as I was driving earlier today I thought about my greatest fear as a mother. I don't know if I shared this here in the blog before or not, but after I became a mother my greatest fear is of dying and leaving my sons' mother-less. I'm not afraid of dying, not one bit (well, I'm sure I will/would be if I knew for sure it was happening), but in general I don't think much of it, but the idea that my sons won't have me anymore while they're still young and need me terrifies me.

I know the boys would be OK in the end (though it would be positively awful if both K & I died), well cared by any of our family members (yes, I think that my parents, my in-laws, any of my brothers- & sisters-in-law, my brother & wife and even extended family members such as aunts, uncles, cousins, would do a wonderful job caring for our sons), but I still feel sad to think that I wouldn't be around to comfort them and help them and mother them. And, believe me, this is not about me, but them.

Good thing they're growing and becoming more independent, etc. I think every year that goes by will make it easier for me, little by little, to let go. Because I guess that in the end this feeling has to do with my need to be needed by them -- especially since they don't need me even half as much as they did when their nourishment depended entirely on me as well as 100% of their physical care.

One of the saddest things I've ever watched on TV was a documentary about this young mother in Canada whose own mother had early onset dementia or an Alzheimer type degenerative disease and who had had genetic tests/ analysis done to determine whether she had the gene that would doom her to the same fate. Even not knowing, she already did lots of things that would help preserve her mind while it was still cognizant -- such as writing incessantly all her thoughts in a journal and recording audio tape messages to her children.

It turned out that she did have the gene and seeing her reaction was simply heartbreaking. She began to actively record tapes for every milestone of her children's lives and to try to prepare to lose all her mental ability and memory. This, in fact, sounds worse than actual death, doesn't it?

Well... I will stop here, my apologies for the gloomy subject. I do have one more post in me about a related topic, but I don't know if I'll write it now or later. And, hopefully, my sons will still have me for years to come!

the little bad things

2011-12-07T00:53:00.001-05:00

I should be grading, but I'm just so tired after a very busy day that, obviously, I'm spending time online checking my twitter feed, reading friends' blogs and, before that, several minutes being really annoyed by the random stuff people post to facebook -- can't stand that thing!

In any case... I'm really frustrated by a few bad things that happened and one of them is not even so little -- I dropped my cell phone and it broke. It's still functioning, but I don't know how much longer since the little panel on top of the button to make/take a call and turn it off fell and now won't stay in place.

Of course our two year plan doesn't end until June next year!! :( The only option I know to hold off until then, and which we've used before (TWICE for K who ruined his phone -- and his is half ruined now too, just the touch screen), is trying to find a friend who had a phone from the same carrier that was discarded, but still works. Is that really the only option, though? I know some carriers offer to "buy out" your remaining time with another carrier, but I don't know if any carrier does it around here (Sprint was going to call me back if they ever decided to offer it).

I HATE HATE HATE the two year plan requirement! (when we joined T-Mobile years ago our plan was for only one year.. and obviously we ended up using it for over two years, so we didn't even take advantage of it. :( We have Verizon now (in spite of the fact that once upon a time I was the #1 google search result for "Verizon Sucks" [which it does]) because it's got the best coverage in our area.

OK, the second little bad thing is that one of my kittens vomited today and I'm hoping they are fine and that he (the one who did it) is not really sick.

Well, I'll try to grade a few things now... sigh...

A Gift to Myself

2011-12-03T00:24:00.001-05:00

Yesterday (or today, since it's after midnight on Friday and I just want to be accurate, for once in my blogging life ;) I had tons of things to do in town, including picking up an online order returning some stuff at a couple of stores and going to the university to take care of some stuff that I had neglected during Mon-Th (I don't teach or go to town or to campus on Fridays), but... I had told myself that I needed a reward this week: a yoga class.

You see, I have been unable to take the (free) yoga classes offered at the university this semester because I teach during the two classes I might be able to attend (I already changed one of my classes for later time slot next semester so I can go to yoga, woo-hoo!). My current schedule allowed for one "Yogalates" (yoga+pilates, pretty fun, in fact) class on Wednesday mornings, but I only went in the beginning of the semester, because later I was so swamped with trying to read the books and get ready to teach that I spent that time working instead. :(

I tried to get into the Friday noon class a few times, but I always remembered too late and it was already full (we have to register 24h in advance or less), but yesterday afternoon I finally remembered and registered! This morning, when I was running late, frantically looking for a lost netflix DVD (from last month) that I still haven't found :( I briefly considered cancelling the class, but changed my mind and decided to give it a try.

I rushed to town, stood impatiently in line at JCP to pick up my MIL's present, then wasted my time trying to return something at Costco (apples, K had already bought apples when I came home with more -- but the lady said they were going to destroy them, so I didn't return them in the end. I'm happy with my decision because they are very yummy honey crisps). I literally ran into my office where I had to email my students, print out stuff (printer out of paper! had to print it in the secretary's office since I didn't have time to go get paper, etc) and head out the door to walk 5-10 minutes to the class location.

Phew! I made it! And it was a lovely, lovely... too short 50 minute class that I really needed. I was so glad that I decided to try and go!

I'm considering another "gift" to myself next year in the shape of a once a week paid "real" yoga class to complement the free ones I get to take on campus, I think I deserve to take care of myself, right?

Getting Lazy

2011-12-03T00:19:00.001-05:00

Well... after the obligation to post by midnight every day last month was over, I just relaxed a little bit about blogging, still confident that I have tons of things left to say and can easily pull off 33 more posts (minimum). I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing that I'm so confident about my ability to blog that much and... frankly, I don't care. One of my (always pretty lame) new year's "resolutions" was "to blog with abandon" and I need to take care of that before it's too late.

OK, I just remembered that I had a post planned for today, not this lame one so... let's get this one "published" and let's talk about something more interesting, shall we? :)

(Up)Rooted

2011-11-30T23:29:00.001-05:00

Slowly, very slowly... I begin to really like our new house. Not that I didn't like it before, it's just that it is hard, nearly impossible, for me to imagine how it feels like to live in a place for many many years... and I am beginning to think that maybe we will live in this house for a long time (we will? really? the skeptic in me cannot reconcile to this idea).

You see, that never really happened in my life... I've never had a "hometown," I've never known what having a family home (where you spent your childhood) to go back to feels like. A good metaphor for how "unsettled/unsettling" my life is and has been is my "birth country" trauma, caused by the fact that I was born in a country which doesn't allow me to have its nationality.* And then there are the many times I moved (either places or from one rental house to another. Five years was the most I ever lived in one house (I did live in the city of São Paulo for 12 years, but moved a few times during this period). For my husband's family it was worse. We calculated once that in 20 years K's family had moved, I don't know, 13-15 times (including a house or apartment a year in one city).**

A few months ago I was having a hard time thinking that we had finally "settled down" somewhere, but I didn't blog about it at the time because I didn't really know how to say this (not that today I'm going to be any better). In fact, the idea of settling down sounds nearly incomprehensible to me after so many years in my life -- actually, my whole life, all 40 years of it -- moving from place to place and not knowing where I would end up. Unconsciously I keep thinking that we'll sell this house again and move elsewhere and start from scratch once more... because this is just what "normal" is in my life.

The funny thing is that when I met K, my biggest desire in life was to be able to have what I never had -- a stable place, give my children a "childhood home" and roots. However, in these 21 years together, I seem to have changed and become just like K was/is: he has always said that after the first traumatizing move he remembers in his life -- when he was 6 years old and followed by many others -- he just can't stand living in the same place for too long, that he needs new adventures. I had a hard time adapting to that kind of thinking, but when we left Brazil and moved here, I think that changed.

So... as I contemplate many years living in this area, having the boys grow up here (OK, they're pretty grown up by now, poor things, having moved a lot too), I feel torn between that old desire I had of putting down roots somewhere, and the impulse to experience new things.

Ultimately, I don't know what will happen (and sometimes I fantasize about K getting an offer to go somewhere after he gets tenure, but that's sooooo unlikely!)... so the best I can do is to enjoy this house, this region and let those roots grow... after all, we should "bloom where we're planted," right?

* I probably blogged about this before (at least in my 50 things about me posts), but if you don't know the story, I was born in Geneva, Switzerland when my dad was studying in France (right on the border) and my mom was doing an specialization at the University of Geneva. There's only one small detail... Switzerland refused to give anyone born there their citizenship... they're just "too good." As a result, I spent my whole childhood being told "Oh, you're Swiss" and replying angrily -- no, I'm not!! I'm Brazilian!" Sigh...

** Of course I know that it's even worse for "army families" because then it's around the world...

I like teaching, but grading...

2011-11-29T23:51:00.000-05:00

... is a pain.

edited to add -- I'm sorry, folks!! I'm totally, 100% repeating myself in this post! I already wrote most of this rant on 11/7. Please blame it on NaBoPloMo, OK? (I do have an "extra" here, the link to a previous post about my traumatizing experience of online teaching).
-------------------------

Seriously. Grading papers is SOOO subjective that it drives me nuts! I feel like all I do is "justify" the grade I give in my comments. I can't stand writing comments... I think I sound so hollow, so untrue!

Sometimes I wish I could simply give everyone As, but that wouldn't be honest, that's not part of my job. I need to help students get better at what they're doing.

But when I don't grade and give them back their assignments in a timely manner, I'm NOT helping them!! So... there you go. I'm officially the less helpful professor in the face of the earth (OK, maybe not, I returned one of 4 papers and most of the 2nd paper. A student [not mine] told me today that one of her professors didn't return/grade ANYTHING yet, and it was pretty tragic how hearing that made me feel less awful about myself).

Just for about 2 minutes, though.

The reality is that grading is hard, no matter what. And for me, using a rubric doesn't help much. In addition, electronic feedback -- which I think is ideal -- is a pain for me because of that horrible, no good, very bad experience of online "non" teaching. (I totally have some PTSD from that). (I re-read that post just last week and I was surprised at how strong my feelings were, so many months later... yeah, I was definitely traumatized).

The good thing is that I don't think there's anything traumatizing with teaching in a real classroom and dealing with live, flesh-and-blood "kids." I enjoy that, and I hope the students can sense that. And... maybe, forgive me for procrastinating so much the grading. :(

I'm so lame!! (and "faking" the date today, the first time in over a week, really, so I should be forgiven for that too).

I still miss him... :(

2011-11-28T22:55:00.001-05:00

Wasn't he gorgeous?

Here he is!

2011-11-27T19:15:00.001-05:00

Isn't he precious?! I will try to come back and write more later, but I need to finish a grant proposal and do some serious grading before tomorrow.

I am also worried about baby, mommy & daddy because they are exhausted, he cries a lot, she feels her milk hasn't come in and is very anxious about that (she seems to feel very insecure and anxious in general as new mothers often are, poor thing!). Keep her in your thoughts and prayers, OK? I wish it weren't so hard to have a new baby. :(

(and, seriously, the second time around is WAY better, that's the truth!)

Locked Out

2011-11-27T02:27:00.001-05:00

We've been inside our cozy house for less than an hour now, in spite of the fact that we arrived about 11:30 from Maryland.

Today was one of those (fortunately) rare unfortunate occasions in which the stuff nightmares are made of come true. On Wednesday when we left, I made a fatal mistake: I suggested we bring an extra set of keys for the car, one that didn't have the house key in it. K was using that key to drive and had left the other key in the car (between the two seats, on the floor). On Friday, however, when the car was full of my Black Friday shopping stuff, I decided to bring the other key inside the house -- after all, it's not very wise to leave your car keys inside the car, right? RIGHT?

Except that tonight K used the spare key to drive to church, left it in his pocket and reused it again in the evening -- so he never had to pick up the key from the key hooks at brother-in-law's house.

We realized we didn't have our house key until we'd driven half way home. I remembered that we had the garage opener in the glove compartment and didn't stress too much. And then, we often forget one of the back doors unlocked, so I thought that those could be an option.

Well... guess what? Everything that could go wrong went 100% wrong. The garage opener wouldn't work. The other garage opener (inside our other unlocked car, parked in the driveway) didn't work either. ALL doors were locked. There's a balcony off our bedroom and I thought that maybe that door would be unlocked. K climbed on the trash can and hoisted himself up (getting hurt in the process), but NO, the door was locked as well!

We went to the two convenience stores in our small town looking for batteries for the garage door opener, but they didn't have any. We even bought a Phillips screwdriver to try to open the opener, but it was too big and I finally opened it with a paper clip. It was one of those tiny 6V batteries. In the end, we drove all the way to a Wal Mart Supercenter (20 minutes away) so K could buy the batteries. I was napping in the car (while the kids, who woke up when we got home, talked) and when K came back, he asked, what if the neighbor (who was looking after the cats) locked the door from the garage to the house? Oh no! I truly hoped that wasn't true. I slept on the way home and jumped out of the car as soon as we got here. The opener worked and the door was unlocked, PHEW!!!

What a night! K was joking that at least it would be an unforgettable night for all of us and that this would probably never happen again.

Seriously, besides sticking extra house keys in each car, I want to install one of those keypads outside of the garage, it's how we got out of situations like this in our rental house and our last house in Pennsylvania.

Good thing I got to talk to my brother on skype, though! It helped that we were still up. I will write the post about their experience (pretty interesting, as a matter of fact, more cultural differences in maternal and newborn health care) tomorrow. And it might even include a photo of the baby!!

Well, good night (for me)... good morning for my readers!

New Baby!

2011-11-26T19:03:00.001-05:00

I wish I had a photo to go with this post, but my brother hasn't seen one yet. My nephew was born today at 10 pm (5 am here) in New Zealand and everything went well (except the need for an episiotomy). Dani weights 3.5 kg -- 7.7 lbs, or, in the stupid (sorry, I really think so)* system you use here, 7 lbs 11 oz and it looks like he's nursing well, has dark hair and is calm (for now!).

My mom is reporting back what she hears from my brother -- who called her as soon as the baby was born and then again at 9 am their time [on Sunday] (4 pm Saturday here), while his wife was resting -- but I hope I can talk to him in the next few days. My sister-in-law's mom and dad couldn't be at the birth (or... I don't know, maybe they didn't want to?) and by the time my brother called my mom the second time, they hadn't yet seen the baby. (I understand that some couples want that, but I have the impression that these were probably requirements of the hospital there and not my brother and SIL's choice). My brother also said that he won't give anyone the telephone number of their hospital room just yet because his wife is very tired and a bit stressed out.

After hearing their experience, my mom is simply delighted with how my births were here in the U.S. -- she was with us both times (in addition to a family friend when Kelvin was born), we were all nice and comfortable in the birthing room, listening to the music we brought from home, and friends and family (including my 2 year old) were able to come see me and the new baby very soon after he was born (I don't know how it is in New Zealand, but in Brazil children don't go into hospitals -- I don't know if they'd make an exception for a sibling). When Kelvin was born, K stayed with me overnight in the hospital, but when Linton was born, my mom stayed, because K was home with Kelvin who was still pretty young 2 years 3 months).

In any case... I'm really happy my nephew was born, but a little impatient because I don't know much about him and how it went. I can't wait to see his little face! After each of my births, we called my brother from the birthing room and I have photos and video of me talking to him and telling him about how it went. Oh well... he has his wife and son to worry about, I know how those first few moments and days are, so I shouldn't be frustrated, right? My apologies if I'm coming across that way.

* Seriously, I think the metric system is way better, I've learned to live with lbs, oz, miles, Fahrenheit (the worst!!), but I can barely stand it. As for babies, everyone I know who is Brazilian American gets their babies' pounds/oz wrong when reporting back to their anglophone friends because it's just so complicated -- the geek in me goes crazy when people assume that the .7 pounds equals 7 ounces because they don't. Now, as my husband says, you guys really know your fractions because of your system (and we know our decimals).

Nephew Watch 2011 -- Contractions Started

2011-11-25T16:43:00.001-05:00

All the way across the globe in New Zealand, my nephew is coming!! My brother emailed us about an hour ago to let us know that the contractions have started.

We're all praying that all goes well. My sister-in-law is really apprehensive, particularly about feeling pain. Her mom and dad are there with them and my mom wishes she could be too.

I'll keep you posted!

Crazy Tired from Shopping

2011-11-25T14:30:00.001-05:00

I have to blog now because later I may be too tired to do it.

My sister-in-law and I went to the stores (Kohls & Target) at 1 am. Then we headed to JC Penney at 4 (I bought next to nothing there) and came back home close to 6 am. I got up at about 9 am and left again, this time for Costco and Trader Joe's. Then I went to the mall (crazy crowded) where I shopped at Gymboree, got lost walking around and came back home.

Now my sister-in-law and my husband (who stayed home and slept all night -- but according to him he woke up very often) are napping and I'm here trying to stay awake. Sigh. My brother-in-law (who had his own shopping spree this morning at Macy's -- beautiful and really affordable suits!) took the boys to the park and I'm really thankful for that!

What did I buy? At Kohls, a couple of big throws for our new living room (solid brown & caramel), a blazer for my husband, some gifts for the boys and a few other things... and going to Target was pretty much useless (I wanted a fire-pit, but an hour after opening, they were all gone. :P At least I bought a nice immersion blender -- which I thought was the one one sale, but which it wasn't. Booo... At JCP I bought a pair of red gloves & some funky tights and waited for my SIL to do her shopping.

I'm calling my aunt now, we want to go there and see her and my uncle (the one who had brain surgery two years ago).

I hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving! Ours was great... I'm just awfully exhausted, but I think it was worth it.

I LOOOOOVE Thanksgiving!!

2011-11-24T13:40:00.001-05:00

After a rather unusual Thanksgiving last year (we went to the beach!), I'm delighted to be back to our Thanksgiving tradition of years back -- spending the holiday with K2 (Klebert's younger brother) and his family.

Exceptionally, this year we were ready with the food ahead of time! And we're just waiting for our guests, a Portuguese family celebrating their very first Thanksgiving in the U.S. They're bringing a codfish dish (bacalhoada) which we can't wait to taste!

Our four boys are downstairs playing the Wii and we are all very hungry, awaiting the best part of the day.

Well, the guests are here, and I will write another post later.

42

2011-11-24T01:48:00.001-05:00

Only 42 posts more and I will reach my goal of posting more than last year! That sounds imminently feasible now, YAY!

Now... if only my nephew could decide to arrive into this world! This suspense is not very easy for my sister-in-law and brother to deal with.

The pies are baked for tomorrow already, and I made the sweet potato praline dish too! Gotta go to bed so we can be thankful for all the food tomorrow! ;)

Getting Better

2011-11-23T14:40:00.001-05:00

Lepton, the kitten that was still sick is getting better. He still vomited once more this morning, but has been fine after taking his medicine. My friend is coming to give him medication tomorrow and I'm absolutely elated that my neighbor across the street happily agreed to look after my "babies" until Saturday night when we return from my in-laws! What a blessing! Look at them, sooo cute!

I love Lepton's tongue in this pic:

And Quark's sharp "embrace" in this one:

" 'Cause it's his turn, but his brother won't let him try..."

2011-11-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

wow... this sentence is half of my life as mother of two young boys.

but it was the beginning of the song that moved me (the part above it's very close to the end, which is also the same as the beginning):

it's like forgetting the words to your favorite song,
you can't believe it, you were always singing along
it was so easy, and the words so sweet...
you can't remember, you try to feel the beat
....eet.... eet.*

* sorry, I can't embed it.

The previous post sent me looking for cool stuff in Youtube since I'm woefully out of touch with contemporary pop music -- very loosely defined in this post as "music people are listening to now that is popular and/or good" -- with very few exceptions (e.g. Adele & Cold Play). Youtube is OK and all (lots of trash too), but I'm delighted that Spotify came along -- now I can listen to lots more great music without having to sift through bad resolution or cover videos.

In any case, I'd heard of Regina Spektor a while ago, probably through a post in my my sister-in-law's blog (she has great taste in music -- BTW, I'm glad you liked the brownies and other food [scroll down for photo] I cooked! As you know, I really enjoy cooking for company, not so much for only us ;) -- I'm looking forward to Florida already!). But I'd only heard one of her songs, I think, the great "Laughing With." So a couple of days ago I listened to a lot of her songs, both in Youtube & Spotify and though I don't really like many, some are awesome, e.g. "Samson":

I love the Narnia books and have been enjoying the movies (didn't like Dawn Treader too much, though :( ), but I didn't know that Regina Skpektor's "The Call" appeared at the end of Prince Caspian!

I still haven't bought any of her music, but I hope to be able to listen through Spotify and maybe someday I'll buy it too.

Drip, drip, drip

2011-11-22T13:02:00.001-05:00

It's raining here and today, because of the rain, I was reminded of how one of our "crumbling Hondas" -- the "younger" one, the Odyssey -- is leaking oil. Every spot I parked, even if just a few minutes, had a shiny "rainbow" colored stain mixed with the rain water coming from under it when I came back to the car.

It wasn't my imagination either. When I got home, I opened the garage and moved the car inside for a couple of feet so I could check the oil (we try to check often and constantly add more). I moved it out after less than 10 minutes so I could close the door and let the cats out of their carrier (I put them there so they wouldn't run our of the garage) and when I came inside and closed the door, there were a few drops of dark oil on the garage floor.

:(
Part of our big financial worries right there. I keep hoping, against logical thinking and hope itself, that these cars can last until we can afford to get new ones. Maybe they can, maybe it'll all be fine in the end, who knows.

Meanwhile... I feel guilty every day for polluting the environment and filling our waterways with horrible oil. (it seems that the leak cannot be fixed, unfortunately) :(

P.S. Thanks for your lovely supportive comment, Aliki. It's precisely what I needed to hear. I am at peace with the expenses and 100% sure that my "babies" are worth every penny. It's just that I have horrible anxiety & issues with money and K & I always have the hardest time talking about it.

Children of Deported Parents & Pepper Spray

2011-11-21T22:23:00.001-05:00

nothing like checking the news to put things into perspective, right?

I had always asked myself what happened to these children and this organization gives the heartbreaking answer. (see video below if you want)

In addition, I hadn't checked my Twitter feed since Friday and hadn't listened to/ checked the news so I didn't know about the pepper spraying of students at UC Davis -- how awful! Here's the interview of a victim and a discussion of how strong pepper spray is.

Last, but not least, Jo(e) wrote a great post about social media and the OWS movement. It's good that the world is watching, what effect will this exposure have?

can't

2011-11-21T19:18:00.001-05:00

I can't really blog today.

I mean, I'm a big over-sharer, but I need to stop it at times and this is one of them. I will just say a few things, but not discuss them.

My cat (I think it's only one now, but I can't know without spending significant time with them in the garage) is still vomiting, in spite of the fact that the vet thinks they're both fine and after I spent several hundred dollars there today (b/c I decided to go ahead and the the whole feline leukemia thing. worried mother preyed upon).

My mom is worried about my dad's health and I don't like that.

Spending money I don't have on the cats that I shouldn't have in the first place has caused me too much grief today (after I talked to K).

bye

P.S. (I can curb the over sharing, but not the prolix tendencies) and I have to go to bed early b/c I woke up at 4 am worried about the cats and spent the rest of the night in the garage with them (I brought in a mattress & blanket, but there's a heater in there, so it's nice & warm)

Sick Kitties

2011-11-20T10:31:00.001-05:00

(sigh)
My cats (who just had surgery last Wednesday) are vomiting and I'm pretty stressed out. I'm glad they are still playful and acting normal, so it shouldn't be too serious, but still... it's a worry.

To make it worse, I found out (and I'm so upset at myself for not having paid more attention earlier -- I did feel a lump after the surgery on Wed, but didn't look closely) that there's a huge tick on Lepton's neck. :(

Thankfully, I called our friend and vet and she called me back and gave me advice -- their office is actually open tonight and I can take them in!

(too bad that we may miss a Nutcracker concert we were planning on going, but I will try to go anyway!)

So, yeah... it's not easy to "parent" pets. Easier than children, for sure, but still stressful at times.

P.S. In a sense it's OK that K left early this morning for a conference, because he's always quick to remind me of the consequences of my choice to have pets ("See? I told you it would be a problem!") in typical "guy" fashion. Not very supportive at times. :( And I will tell him all that, BTW, I generally don't write anything in the blog that I wouldn't say to anyone's face (at least I not anymore!! ;).

Four Cousins and a Dream

2011-11-20T00:18:00.001-05:00

Today (technically yesterday, since it's after midnight), my mother and father drove a 2 hours to the city of São Paulo's international airport to spend a few hours with my cousin Denise (by my side, above) and her husband, who were flying back home to Arizona after visiting Brazil -- Deni's first time in the 21 years since she'd come to the U.S.!!

My parents and I reconnected with Deni back in 2003 when 10 years had passed since we had last seen here -- it was so nice! I last saw her six years ago when she briefly visited us in PA, but I want to plan to see her again soon.

I really want to some day be able to write a sensitive, moving and, hopefully, beautiful account our childhood together, but I will try to quickly summarize the events that brought the lives of my cousins Deni & Joce and mine and my brother's together for the sake of this post.

D & J are the children of one of my dad's sister, the one that was always closest to my mom. D is a couple of years older than me, J is only four months younger than me and was my classmate from 7th-12th grades. Coincidentally D, J & I were all born on the seventh day of the month!

When J & I were six and D eight, their father died in a horribly tragic car crash and as a result of that, D & J spent nearly all their vacations with our family in the years that followed and then in 1985 we moved to São Paulo where we were, literally, their neighbors. They are like brother and sister to me and I love them dearly.

I have a dream... a dream of taking another photo like the one above. Of having the four of us together again. Just thinking about this makes me want to cry tons.

Well... today I found out that D is planning to go to Brazil for Christmas next year. My brother is going as well with his family and I'd been planning and dreaming of going so I could meet my nephew, but now, I have even more motivation to make an effort to go (in spite of the fact that we're going to Brazil in July/August next year and airfares are super expensive). I hope I can make this dream come true!!

Note: I wrote this post listening to Pat Metheny because back in 1996 Joce gave us their CD Still Life (Talking).

51 - uma boa ideia :)

2011-11-19T23:23:00.001-05:00

Since I have 51 posts to go 'till I reach my goal of surpassing last year's number of posts*-- not counting this post, obviously, so it is actually 50, I thought I'd write this post about Brazil's most famous brand of cachaça (pronounced kah-shah-ssah) or hard liquor, also derisively nicknamed as pinga.

I thought it was "a good idea" (this drink's famous slogan), in spite of the fact that I never tasted the stuff & never intend to. It's part of my country's culture, so I always tell my students about it. In addition, cachaça is used to make the famous Brazilian lime-based drink "Caipirinha" (if you want it with vodka, it's a caipiroska).

So, there you go... one more useless piece of information for you, courtesy of this humble Brazilian person's blog!

* by one, I can try to add a little more if I can.

South Africa, here we come...

2011-11-19T21:24:00.001-05:00

It is certain now, our family is going to South Africa for nine days during our Spring Break next year to accompany a small tour group led by my mother-in-law (who owns a small travel company in Brazil). She is sponsoring the trip for K & I because we will be translators/interpreters to the group on the tours we do there (last year K's brother "K2" and his wife did that too).

In spite of the fact that the boys' Spring Break doesn't coincide with ours (it's two weeks later!) we decided to bring them along since we think this is a unique opportunity for them to go to Africa -- especially because my parents will be going on the trip as well (on their way to New Zealand to meet my new nephew). In addition, Kelvin's 10th birthday will be right in the middle of the trip, on the day we'll be arriving at a lodge in Kruger Park. I think it'll be an unforgettable birthday for him!

Now we just need to work hard to getting used to the South African accent so we can be effective interpreters. Last night when I talked to my brother on Skype he and his wife recommended that we watch movies set in South Africa and I think it's a good idea. Any suggestions? My brother said he's email me some links, I'm thinking that we can start with an older film such as Cry Freedom and maybe Color of Freedom and Invictus -- although these last two have mostly American actors, I don't know if that would be helpful. My brother & SIL also recommended what they said was a weird "alien"/scifi movie, but in which the accent would be great for us (meaning, authentic ;): District 9.

I guess it will be nice to try to be prepared. And also talk to the boys about the painful history of that country before we go (maybe we should try to find children's books about South Africa). Sigh... it's easy to say all this, but doing it is harder. I guess I'll go edit my netflix queue right now!!

Note: The lack of the exclamation point at the end of the post's title is due to the fact that the boys' airfare that I just charged to my card yesterday will be added to our current debt and I'm not too thrilled about that (MIL is reimbursing us for ours this week), but like the commercials say... it'll be priceless (I just didn't pay with MC, but with V ;).

My Nephew is Coming!

2011-11-18T23:56:00.000-05:00

I'm late posting today because we just spent a couple of hours talking to my brother and sister-in-law on Skype. When we said good-bye, my nephew was moving around in his mama's uterus and I talked to him a little big.

I hope he arrives soon! (due date's on Monday, 11/21) My sister-in-law is really afraid of the pain and of giving birth, so I'm praying that all will go well.

I need to sleep now, more tomorrow!

Mildly to Outrageously Ridiculous 80s Music

2011-11-17T21:26:00.001-05:00

OK, I'm beginning a (hopefully short) series of posts that will probably only interest readers my age (which I suppose are the majority of my tiny readership anyway): posts about music that I listened to when I was growing up (in the 80s, obviously).

I grew up in Brazil, but I'm pretty sure that the English language songs we listened to there were popular here (and maybe in the U.K.) too. I'd be really curious to know whether you ever listened to any of these songs. I'm beginning with the more ridiculous ones and I'll have another post (or posts) for those I consider "cooler" and still like and can listen to.

Today I was looking through an old stack of piano sheet music I have (most of which I was never good enough to play anyway) and in the middle of a pile of old/classic film scores ("New York, New York," "Lara's Theme" from Dr. Zhivago, "The Pink Panther," "Theme from Love Story," "Tara Theme" from Gone With the Wind, and some gems such as "As Time Goes By," "My Way," "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and even the awesome "California Dreaming") I found this (Italian) song called "I Like Chopin" by this guy ridiculously named Gazebo (I realize that the name probably doesn't sound bad in Italian). Here's the video clip. I don't recall having ever seen it, but my cousin Denise loved this song, so I liked it too and bough the sheet music.

George Michael is not as bad, is it? Tell me please if in 1984 or 85 you were not absolutely crazy for this song as I was:

I liked this one too and I was really disappointed when I learned some years later that he was gay ;)
(Edited to add: wow, I just found a news article from May this year in which he actually apologizes for "letting down" the gay community and then I found out that... he's only SEVEN years older than me? Is that for real? So he was really young back in the 80s. Wow, I'm feeling super old now!Sigh...):

Even back then I thought that this other Italian song, translated into Portuguese, was positively horrid so here you go... CRINGE, a thousand times cringe!!!
Here is it in Italian:

And in Portuguese -- and I just found out that this song had a ressurgence in Brazil in the past decade -- unbelievable! This performance is actually recent (here's the original recording in Portuguese):

I think Madonna should deserve her own post (were you also "Crazy for You" like I was?), but she's so ubiquitous that I probably won't get to do it. Lionel Ritchie too... "Say You, Say Me," anyone?!

What did you listen to in the 80s?

P.S. I loved Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors." I just wanted to say that in case I forgot.

I wish cats would watch TV!!

2011-11-16T19:44:00.001-05:00

Our kitties had surgery* today and the post-op instructions call for keeping them calm and avoiding physical exertion such as running, jumping, etc. They were supposed to be groggy from the anesthetic, but no! They were actually pretty crazy after I let them out of their carriers in the garage.

It had been a while since I'd seen them so excited about chasing each other (especially each other's tails) and also play-wrestling. Both probably not very safe after their surgery. If they were little boys, I could just plop them in front of the TV and... voilá, instant calm and quiet. Too bad they're merely irrational animals. ;)

* My students laughed a whole lot when I talked about it saying "off with their balls."

Goodnight, iPad!

2011-11-15T23:28:00.001-05:00

I'm a big, HUGE fan of smart parodies, particularly of beloved books, such as Goodnight Moon (I thought that the Goodnight Bush parody was hilarious), so here's another one for me, this one really really relevant (good thing we don't do TV at our house. It's mostly the laptop, the iPad & iPod touch). I have a hard time letting go of the computer... and the boys spend more time than t hey should in their iPad, so I guess we need to watch and internalize!

Seven!! I can't believe I've been blogging that long!

2011-11-14T23:54:00.000-05:00

Seven is my "favoritest" number, after all, I was born on 7/7! So I thought that this year my blog anniversary should be more special, or "specially celebrated" in the blog.

First, I decided to try to reproduce (closer than last year) the very first post photo (I asked permission of my 7! year old to do that -- he's the one who is very private and doesn't like me to blog his life much):
4 month old L & Mama:

7 years 5 months old L & Mama (taken today):

Then, I want to talk a little bit about the anniversary posts that preceded this one.

(I had most of the post done when I realized that last year I included previous year's post titles too... after having posted the photo above. boo!!... not original, but, now that the post is done, I'll leave it).

Year 1 (2005) "Happy Anniversary, Blog!:"
My blog continues to be "a little nothing," but I've made so many more friends since then! And it still is "a happy space for me. It makes me feel more alive and connected to the world."

I am no longer "a mother of young children" and my life is not "very tough and isolating," anymore, but I am still "an expatriate mother, who just moved to a new city" (a hear ago). I do have friends, family 3 hours away and a bit of a support system of sorts, unlike 7 years ago. And the "looming dissertation" was finished three years ago!! This is still very true, though: "Blogging has been helpful, even therapeutic," so several things have changed, but not the essence. ;)

Year 2 (2006) "Two Years and Counting!:"
I like this that I wrote on year 2:

I can confidently say that I am a much more open, empathetic, accepting, and conciliatory person after all that I have experienced online. I have now a greater respect for other people's (particularly mothers') experiences and have become much less judgemental as a result.

I was still bothered by not finishing the dissertation and I wasn't particularly happy that day (I don't remember why).

Year 3 (2007) "Three Meaningful Years:"
In this post -- which I wrote 5 days too late -- I started the "new" tradition of posting a photo of myself to celebrate the blog anniversary. I outlined four points about how blogging changed my life and my favorite is the last: "Most of all, meeting all of you has enriched my life beyond measure." This is still absolutely true!!

Year 4 (2008) "Four Great Years":
Six days late this time, because of NaBloPoMo (again!). I really like the photo in this post. It is still my profile photo on my main email account. My regret in that post continues the same "I never changed the template like I wanted to have done long, very long ago." Sigh... good thing it's a minor issue!

Year 5 (2009) "Five Glorious Years!":
Ha ha ha!! These post titles are so awfully cheesy! ;) actually :( (no, not really, this one was totally tongue-in-cheek). The photo is not my favorite, but I think it reflects well my 2009 life. This here is still very true:

It's been wonderful, though, it truly has. I haven't really made a "mark" in the Blogosphere, or Blogland, or, should it be Blogville? I'm just a drop in an ocean, but blogging has made a huge difference in my life. The friendships I made are priceless and the things I learned cannot be measured. So, yeah, I'm glad to be celebrating this "milestone." :-p

Year 6 (2010) "Six years seems a long time, but it's not, really":
I think all I've got to say about last year's post is this: I hope, against hope, that blogging (the personal kind) will NOT become obsolete as I wondered about in that post.

I'm 21 minutes late... and I'm blogging while listening to K talk to K3 (fun stuff! I'm really looking forward to our 10 days in Florida with the whole family!).

And these... are my life

2011-11-14T01:04:00.001-05:00

This too... (part 2)

2011-11-14T00:30:00.001-05:00

... sums up my day (part 1 here):

This pretty much sums up my day! :)

2011-11-13T23:53:00.000-05:00

more later (I mean, tomorrow).

happy days, filled with people, and music and friends

2011-11-12T23:55:00.000-05:00

So... I'm again pretending it's before midnight because it was lovely to go see a musical performance in which our dear friend was conducting and then, at the end, go out with him and his wife to eat... there was no way I could have posted earlier, see?

And tomorrow, even better, it's family members we haven't seen in a long time who will be here. YAY! So I better go to bed so I can wake up energized to make sushi and bake delicious pumpkin swirl brownies!! I love guests!!

11/11/11, 11:11 (pm)

2011-11-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

Another date like today's only in 100 years.

I really like to look at all those ones, perfectly lined up. I missed posting at 11:11 am, but I couldn't let 11:11pm slide by, could I? I don't guarantee the 11 seconds, though! ;)

And today is not only an interesting looking day, but it's "Veterans day"* or "Remembrance day" in Canada.
I actually like the original day better: "Armistice Day" -- the day of the end of the war or armed race, celebrating the end of bloody World War I back in 1918. I was going to write more about this... but the day went by (I started this post in the morning) and now I'm racing against the clock to post on time. So... another lame post. :(

This weekend we're really excited about the visit of K3 (Klebert's younger brother) and his family! I will see my only niece for the second time! OK, one minute to go, gotta get this published. It's exciting, though, to make it on time and on the right day!! Making history (ha ha ha...) in this insignificant blog.

"In a thousand years..." mom, said my son. Is it a thousand or 100? I'm so bad in math!! Go!

* No apostrophe, as per the U.S. Government decision, the Wikipedia entry explains it.

(For future reference) Cool video to show my sons

2011-11-11T00:21:00.001-05:00

Yeah, so now I'm officially using my blog as a "bookmark" for interesting stuff that I might otherwise forget about. I hope you don't mind.

I have mentioned before how my sons like to make elaborate train tracks with their plastic Thomas train sets, but I'm afraid that after they see this, they will want to try to do the same. And I obviously will have to tell them that we'll have to content ourselves with watching the video. Over and over again if needed. That's why I'm posting it to the blog to begin with. ;) Isn't it cool, though? (and there many more where this came from ;)

The word that you never, ever want to hear

2011-11-10T00:42:00.001-05:00

I should have written "the diagnosis" instead of "the word," but I didn't want the title to be that obvious.

I'm talking about this word. And I cannot stop thinking about this and the family member that had to hear the diagnosis and let us know about it. (sigh)

I won't say more for now because I want to preserve this person's privacy. If you're the praying kind, prayers will be appreciated (and you can email me if you want to know more).

Edited to Add:
(1) It is a very rare, but eminently treatable type (it's so rare the entry is tiny... in fact, a survivor writes that it appears in 1 in a 2 1/2 million people, probably even more for this specific kind). And here comes "blogging to the rescue" again -- I'm sure reading this guy's blog will be helpful (if not for my relative, at least for me!).

Well... while writing this post (and a few emails) I continued reading Novak's blog and now I am wondering whether what our relative has is "high" or "low" grade (Novak's was "high grade" or stage 3, which required chemo). So far, relative's doctor talked only about radiation therapy (after a CT scan which Novak also had). So... maybe it's a low grade/stage one -- let's hope so! I will let you know later. So much to learn... wow.

(2) This is one more strong reason to go completely vegan.

Worth Wild

2011-11-09T18:04:00.002-05:00

First paper graded today and I find this gem -- I was going to type "jam" (am I (un)learning from my students of something?):

"She thought that it was not worth wild to study..."

wow... worth wild. In all my years of paper grading I had never encountered that one! worth wild indeed!

Off with their balls!

2011-11-09T09:57:00.001-05:00

I know, it's horrible to say that, but the neutering surgery for our kitties is scheduled for next Wednesday... I hope they have a quick recovery because we may be taking off on Friday or Saturday next week, since we have Thanksgiving week off!

In fact, I still need to find people to care for them while we're gone -- that's always one of the big stresses of having pets, isn't it? It was one of the big "Cons" in our list of pros & cons. I hope I can find someone!

A couple of pictures from October to make this post "less harsh." ;)

Through the kitchen window: waiting patiently on the deck to be let back inside:

On the tree that had several branches fall off (not the one he's in, fortunately, since it's one of their favorite branches, but still, I think that climbing this tree won't be as fun for them anymore):

67

2011-11-09T08:20:00.001-05:00

That's how many posts I still have to write until Dec. 31st to make my "noble goal" of posting more than last year... (not getting even close to my silly "new year's wish" of posting about 365 times this year -- ha, ha!)

In any case, I'll keep on trying. I have TONS of photos of food that I've been taking in the past few years with the intention of posting them to the blog. I am going to create a tab up top (let's see if it works with the current layout) titled "Food" or "Food Pics" or something and I will post selected photos, OK? Do you think it's a good plan?

OK, now I have to go grade papers. And I decided, after K's statement that he was out of white "undershirts" (t-shirts) while I was still laying in bed, that I'd do two loads of laundry. Not only that, but because today will be 68F (20F), I decided to hang the laundry outside... sigh... I know, just what I needed on a hyper busy day like today... have I mentioned that I'm organizing a Brazilian music event tonight at the university? and that K & I haven't been communicating enough, so he didn't even know that I'm the organizer of this and that what I mentioned to him last week about not scheduling anything for Wednesday night was for a good reason -- and now he'll be busy until a few minutes before the event (but I'll drop the boys off to him anyway!).

Wish me luck, especially with the grading (electronic feedback, Yikes!). ;)

Birthday Plans for Next Year (Note to Self)

2011-11-08T19:23:00.002-05:00

I love to make plans. In the micro, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour (sometimes day to day) level, my ADHD makes me the most disorganized and scattered person in the universe. I also dread having a routine or planning my day ahead of time, but as far as planning things weeks, months or years ahead are concern, I take great joy in careful planning and in anticipation of the event I'm looking forward to.

So... I've mentioned this event in my dissertation and I've always wanted to attend. The last time I went to a Book Fair (Bienal do Livro in São Paulo), I was in grade school (high school, maybe?) or... maybe in college already. An item in my "bucket list*" is to go to the Bologna Book Fair (the main one in the world for children's literature) and/or another prestigious one such as the Paris Book Fair. Of course, the most useful one for my research would be the Bienal do Livro of São Paulo -- Hey! I will actually BE in Brazil on the last weekend of this!! too bad we have to fly back... maybe we can push our flight back to Monday?!

FLIP (Paraty's International Literary "Feast") is the "coolest" literary event in Brazil (next year the most recent "darling" of U.S. literature is coming -- Jonathan Franzen), so it should be a nice event to go to. I don't know how much research and networking I could actually do there, but that doesn't really matter, does it? (And, after all, the possibilities are endless, no?).

So, should I try to find a friend (or friends) who could/would go with me while I celebrate my birthday attending FLIP? I'd love to leave the kids with my parents and go for a couple of days. Too bad that it must be pretty expensive to stay there in Paraty, not to mention the fact that I can't stand crowds -- but one can't have a fair without a crowd, right?

Food for thought. Now, as for the "biennial" in São Paulo? I will have to find a way to go to that, no matter what or how!

*I'm so "out of it" that I'd never heard of this term until my Brazilian-Canadian blogging friend G pointed it out to me in a comment in this blog.

What's making me supremely guilty & anxious right now...

2011-11-07T18:12:00.001-05:00

OK, I'm exaggerating... I'm happy, I'm fine, but I have this lingering guilty feeling in the back of my mind, ant the cause is...
... all the grading I haven't done and have yet to do. Last week I graded one batch of papers (except for 3 -- poor students!), but there are TWO more (one that they just submitted yesterday), plus four journals. (for 25 students)

The worst part is that I have this horribly lame -- but true -- excuse. The students submitted their papers online and I want to save paper & correct electronically (using track changes & comments) and including a rubric & the grade.

Problem is... that's exactly what I had to do with all my grading at that horrible torture of an online teaching job (for an affiliate of the really bad, awful, no good University of Phoenix). The "non-job" that I had for 9 nightmarish weeks back in Dec. 08-Feb 09.

Seriously... I have some mild PTSD symptoms related to online grading. Back then, I had 24 hours to respond to postings and 7 days to grade their papers. And I had two groups of 20 or 30 students each, I don't remember now, nor do I want to remember. It took forever, and it consumed my days and made me miserable.

In order to avoid my stress and anxiety just at the mere thought of giving electronic feedback (and now, only NOW I can tell how tough it must have been for my committee members to give me all that feedback on my dissertation. They just had to force themselves to do it. Thing is... a dissertation is quite interesting compared to boring students papers about similar topics) I printed out ALL of the papers myself, stapled the rubrics to them and grade, no problem. But I really wanted to save paper for the next ones, let's see if I'll be able to do it.

This is my plan for next year: I will require students to submit papers online so I can check for plagiarism AND then they will be required to print them out (together with the rubric which I'll give them ahead of time) and submit the hard copy to me. That way I can check the content and grade hard copies, what do you think?

See... grading itself is not the problem (though my procrastination is). I'm VERY used to grading. There was a semester when I was a T.A. when I graded no less than SIX HUNDRED papers (6 journals plus 4 autobiographical papers per student, total of 60 students). I got 2 incompletes (out of 3 classes), but I got the job done! :) But I have a feeling I have to stick to paper and pen to do it, at least for now!

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

2011-11-06T23:45:00.000-05:00

Today was my dad's birthday, I wish we didn't live so far away and could have celebrated with him instead of only talking to him on the phone. Here's a photo from last April to show the best grandfather (and grandmother) in the world! They can't wait to have another grandson later this month!

Feliz Aniversário, Papi!

On the Stairs by the Front Door...

2011-11-05T23:59:00.000-04:00

Why is it that, at least for us and our personal interactions with good friends, the best is always last?

(or... is it like that for most everything in life? and why am I so philosophical all of a sudden? Is this a side effect of having hours and hours of lovely, intellectually stimulating conversations with friends we don't see often enough?)

This feels good, though... this talking for two hours sitting (or standing up, even, like tonight) on the stairs by the front door. "Pretending" that the friends will leave soon because, you know... they must, but talking and talking a bit more until it's not just minutes anymore, but hours.

Experiencing this reminds me of the wonderful, amazing late night conversations that we had during the 5 years we were in college and had this incredible group of friends that met nearly every weekend -- that was back in São Paulo, Brazil, over 16 years ago and it still shapes our lives so strongly that sometimes I think it's just so sad that we're so far away from most of our friends from back then.

Why did we decide to move to another country again? And leave all those friendships behind? I sometimes ask myself... (I mean, they 're still there, but kind of "frozen" in time). When we can interact with people again on the same level all these years later again (finally!), I feel at peace with that decision. We wouldn't have met these new people hadn't we moved...

You know, it's hard, though. These past 15 years have been tough, and if it weren't for blogging, I would have given up on having friends and being happy in that part of my life as an expatriate person.

So I'm eternally thankful for these moments on the stairs. They mean the world to me.

Relatively Productive Day

2011-11-04T23:56:00.000-04:00

I cooked two kinds of soup (minestrone and Caldo Verde* -- without the sausage) for the friends who came over tonight and I did some cleaning around the house, most importantly... cleaning out the fridge and taking all the recycling to the recycling station in town.

The boys didn't have school today (teacher-parent conferences... ours were last night), so they stayed home and mostly played on their ipod touch & ipad and... spent all afternoon involved in their latest obsession: paper airplanes! I wish I'd taken photos of the backyard, littered with paper airplanes! It was so bad that we had them pick them up at the end of the day.

Tomorrow night we're going to have a small "Fall gathering," I hope it'll be fun!

And blogging by "obligation" is boring isn't it? I'm sorry about that! Tonight I enjoyed the company of our friends, so blogging was not a priority at all as it is most nights when we don't have people over. OK, gotta go to bed!

*This is a typical Portuguese soup with a weak potato broth and, traditionally, chouriço sausages, but I'm refusing to link to any recipes in English because they are CLEARLY mistaken about the main ingredient -- it is NOT kale, which I love and which is delicious, but which tastes differently from collard greens, which is the original ingredient -- chopped very finely.

Sunset

2011-11-03T23:59:00.000-04:00

I should be posting photos on my other blog (the failed "project" to post photos once a day... sigh), but the only way I can post tonight is by sharing some photos. These were taken my husband on the day I photographed that waterfall.

I had selected and uploaded three more, but the browser, my crappy internet, whatever... failed, so more later, OK? Gotta go to bed...

Too Busy To Blog

2011-11-02T23:50:00.000-04:00

I'm only 65 minutes late, but, really, I've got very good reasons! First, I stayed up grading until 2 am. Then, I prepared to teach and graded some more and went food shopping and picked the boys up and started dinner (5 of my students were coming over), but had to interrupt my cooking to take my youngest son to a make-up soccer game (because of the snow! in October!)...

Then it was a whirlwind of cooking and not being able to pick up my husband who walked a mile from a friend's house to ours.... and the students came (at 8:30 pm, they couldn't make it earlier), ate, and we talked until midnight. Then cleaned up until one.

Justified? Or not?

So... yeah. and I want to do more grading (still one more paper and 4 journal entries) because it's the greatest relief and the best sense of accomplishment ever. I wish that would be enough to make me a grading junkie. Whaaaa....? There's no such thing? Yeah, I don't think so... grading is always disagreeable, no matter what.

OK, gotta go to bed. And those poor students still need to do homework for my class tomorrow! At least they're well nourished!

11/1/11 Another Palindrome Date... And So Begins my 5th NaBloPoMo...

2011-11-01T22:26:00.000-04:00

... but since I've been blogging once a day and up to five times a day for several weeks now, trying to partially fulfill one of my new year's resolutions, this year's NaBloPoMo will be "lamer" than usual.

In fact, if I posted daily or more than once a day like Katie Allison Granju, for example (wait a minute! she didn't post today yet...edited to add -- 7 minutes before I posted this, she published her post for today!), I wouldn't even need this special month of blogging. Ha! I'd even forgotten that I'd created a label for this intense blogging period, "Blogging Marathon 2011," but I've forgotten to label the posts... Blah!

Well, I have to stop now because I have 24 papers to grade. And then, 24 more after those are done, and then... 25X4 student blog posts to mark.

I've been planning to reward myself with this when all this grading is done. Except that there's another paper due this coming Sunday, which guarantees that I'll never be caught up.

How crazy is it of me that I have decided to teach FORTY students next semester? (oh, is it because it turned forty? Nah... silly joke, you know it's because I need the money). :(

In any case, I'm excited about the palindrome date... 11/1/11, but the 11th will be even more exciting. I don't know exactly why, but I think these dates are really cool. I turned 6 on 7/7/77. And I wrote tons on 8/8/88. It's my inner geek, I guess.

Wish me luck in my grading. I need to go make some tea, and eat some chocolate, like Jo(e)!

Submitted

2011-10-31T23:51:00.000-04:00

I just submitted a paper proposal for an academic conference next year and I'm really excited about it! I wish I could tell you more about my paper and the conference, but then I would make myself easily googleable as soon as the program appears online.

I'm considering going to two conferences next year (in April and June), I hope it's not too much! Now if only I could get at least a couple more of my dozens of conference paper presentations into published papers, that would be awesome! I wish I weren't so lazy. :(

Fallen Tree Branches, the day after

2011-10-31T22:53:00.002-04:00

I was too tired to post these yesterday, but here it goes. I was also too depressed about my beloved tree (the one my cats loved to climb all over!) to go outside and take photos, so I asked K to take these.

Really, I'm pretty traumatized with snow right now, what I wrote paraphrasing one of my favorite songs ever is very true... now I know both sides of snow, the good and the bad. I imagine I would be even more traumatized if I'd had a car accident in the snow (shiver!).

So sad...

Nephew Watch 2011 Begins

2011-10-30T11:32:00.001-04:00

I am going to be a pile of emotions in this month of November as we wait for my nephew (my only brother's son) to arrive... on the opposite side of the world (NZ). I think the due-date is Nov. 22, but the emails exchanged among the family (them, my parents, SIL's parents and us) are already getting all involved with the expectation of Dani's birth. It was reading such an email from my mom to them that prompted me to come write this post.

In just a few days my sister-in-law's parents will travel to New Zealand and my parents will stay behind, longing so much to go, but waiting patiently until March that is when they're finally going. And I don't have the least idea of when I'm going to meet my dear nephew. My brother didn't get to meet Kelvin until he was 1 year 9 months old and Linton when he was 8 months old... that's how it is when we live so far apart. I wish I could find a way ($$$$) to go to Brazil next year for Xmas and New Year's, but it's the most expensive time of the year to travel, when travel is already horribly expensive year round.

Well... maybe there'll be a miracle. Maybe teaching 40 kids in my class will help me make enough to save for that. The problem is... going to Brazil twice in one year sounds awfully wasteful (if wonderful!). Let's see. Maybe I should make this one of my "new year's dreams" hahaha...

My nephew's coming, wasn't he my main new year's dream? Yes, he was!

P.S. Never mind that my last wish was to post more than 365 times. Ha ha! I've since downgraded that to 243+ and that seems attainable enough. "Lowered Expectations!"