You know, you must look at the last words in my current blog tagline* and think that I am certainly exaggerating, but, friends, I am not.
It's official. Well... as official as a headline in a national news magazine can be. My sister-in-law inadvertently wrote a post today that opened my eyes and brought my attention to something that I already knew, but didn't really want to say out loud: that I was stupid enough to study something that no one knows what it is, let alone know what to do with it. Just read the title and the first lines of this Newsweek article from last summer (sorry, you've gotta wait for a commercial). It's all you need to look at and know how stupid I am. That is my discipline. The butt of jokes, the disgrace of parents of misguided undergraduates and graduate students like myself. (even my poor parents must suffer -- dedicating 24 months of their lives to their daughter's degree only to see it amount to nothing...).
I had seen derisive references to my "discipline" before, but nothing as blatant as this. So blatant and devastating that prompted me to "reveal" this "top secret" about me -- not that it really matters to maintain my semi-anonimity here. It's not like I am going to get an academic job someday, no... that is highly unlikely.
Anyway, that's not what I was planning to blog about today, but there you go. Thanks sis. And I think you're safe. As long as you stick to English, OK?
* A mother (mamãe) of two boys (born in March 2002 and May 2004) between two languages (Portuguese and English), two countries (Brazil and the U.S.), two "worlds" (academic/ home-front). After being a doctoral student for 10 years she is now trying to figure out what to do next with her life now that her husband (who also used to be a foreign student) finally got a job and she has a "useless" Ph.D.
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5 comments:
Sorry, I didn't mean to cause you further sadness on the issue. :-(
Well, I'm not in a position to comment, really, but I hope you did get something out of the experience. Did you enjoy your topic? You certainly proved to yourself that you can undertake a major, long-term project and complete it. You developed your research skills and academic writing skills, and underwent a difficult oral exam (defense.)
Maybe you won't use your actual degree by teaching in a university setting, but hopefully the experience itself still has value. I guess you just have to let go of one dream and concentrate on finding something else that you love (or less optimistically, like) to do, even if it isn't directly related to your field.
I just hope (and I do believe) that you can find ways to continue to pursue what you love, and use it to enrich your life, even if it is not how you earn a living.
I also realize that this is small consolation, and of course you need to vent and grieve. So, I'm sending out some hugs.
Good luck!
As someone who's PhD will be in something even more esoteric (yes, it's quite possible!)I have to put my two cents in here. I REALLY don't think your degree is useless. It's all a matter of deciding how you want to use it.
Your beautiful boys have seen you pursue your academic dream and that has to count for something. They have a smart, hardworking, and thoughtful mother who was passionate about something to pursue it to the highest level. If you NEVER ever used any of your research or writing skills again that would still be a tremendous example to your family. I know you'll find a way to use your degree-- even if it's an avocation instead of a vocation. You do make a difference in the lives of others and the degree is part of who you have become. Chin up, Lilian!
My sister's "useless" PhD is also in comp lit. All of us in the humanities are used to being the butt of jokes. (Ever heard Garrison Keillor on the subject of what the most useful phrase for an English major is? It's "Do you want fries with that?") In the end, though, as someone who believes in liberal education, I have to believe that our adaptability, our critical thinking skills, our love of literature, our ability to take the long view, and our willingness to work for less (!) will always continue to stand us in good stead.
I beg your pardon for my poor English. I have earnt, as you, my "dottorato" (equivalent, more or less, to your phd) in Italian Literature, and I am a little comforted ("A trouble shared is a trouble halved", "Misery loves company"...) seeing that I am not the only one who has made so many sacrifices to obtain a phd which is now useless (I am an high school teacher, and my seven years of post-graduate study and researh are perfectly useless on the professional plan). We have to continue loving our discipline and cultivate it, fiercely and with no shame, no matter what the others say, and giving no importance to the fact that they consider it only a loss of time (as my wife always says); but one can do that even without spending time and money for useless diplomas...
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